Can I wishcast a Houston W? Can they actually string two above average games together for the first time this season? I’ve got some tids and bits regarding this tilt so here we go…
To The Game!
Texans/Chiefs:
-Is this Reid’s best coaching job ever? (and by extension, Spags) To lose only one game (I consider the final game to be a throwaway) while failing to score 30 points in any tilt is a considerable accomplishment. Given that Kelce (all his quickness/explosion is gone) is starting to look his age and the wr’s have been pedestrian at best, this is smoke and mirrors and past reputation sitting pretty.
-There’s too much talk regarding ends Anderson (11 sacks, 30 pressures) and Hunter needing to sack the bananas out of Mahomes in order for the Texans to win but it’s far more nuanced than that. What they need to do is shrink the pocket on a regular basis and close off running lanes when the eventual Patty Scramble occurs. They’ll have to stop any tendency to run wide although they’ll be pushed that way.
-The Texans are 7-3 when Mixon averages 4+ ypc.
-Chiefs Threepeat?: No team that has won back-to-back Super Bowls has ever made it back to the Super Bowl that third year.
-Mahomes has never lost in the divisional round-he’s 6-0. He’s also never turned the ball over in those six games. BASTARD!
-I ragged on the Chiefs wr’s but beyond Nico the Texans cupboard is bare.
It doesn’t look good brothers and sisters, but let’s take a gander anyway. Have at it.
Travis Kelce will be banging Taylor Swift doggie style tonight while pushing her face down into the pillow and she will be digging every second of it because she will not only achieve sexual fulfillment but will also be writing a new hit song in her head at the same time.
In or with her head?
the freaks always write the best music, and tonights three way with caitlin clark is def gonna produce
tastefully served im sure
Welp, there goes my dream of last year’s Rookie of the Year in an Owl against this year’s presumptive Rookie of the Year. Awesome rookie battle such a better storyline than stupid threepeat
Now hoping for Bills/Lions (someone gets a first ever Owl)
or Ravens/Iggles (YEAR OF THE RUNNINGBACK)
great, our hope is either with lamar’s shitty january record or fucking buffalo
I don’t see how the Chiefs win next week. Even with officials’ help.
Is that . . . Boris Karloftis?
/cue audience laughter and applause
Karloff?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFOJh-kv2PE&pp=ygURS2FybG9mZiBzaWRla2ljaz8%3D
https://giphy.com/gifs/mtv-prince-eddie-murphy-dave-chapelle-10tReM5JnxZbnW
“Blouses”
And there’s the cover!
Not even a backdoor cover. So disappointed…
Thought you’d prefer an uncovered backdoor
Oh fuck, backdoor cover activated!!
LMAO
damn, they killing him like theyre caleb williams’ o-line
Was forced to listen to the first half because I was making scalloped potatoes with cheese. Took a long time to get it in the oven, so Buck and Aikman were my eyes and ears.
Jesus Christ almighty. It is torture listening to the pointless anecdotes, the upswinging lilt, that demented fucking giggle. My heart sincerely goes out to anyone on the planet forced to hear it.
Not sure whom I’d sanction to replace them. I just want the goddamn option to watch games with ambient stadium noises only. WHY CAN’T THEY DO THAT?!
Seriously, am I the only one that uses the MUTE button?
If you’re making scalloped potatoes you can’t watch the game, so using the mute button would mean not following the game at all. Though radio would be a good option
Kevin Harland is the best announcer in sports. He usually does the Westwood One broadcast. Put him on.
Que es un catch playoff edition.
The Chief of the Rings? Oh, fuck off!
I genuinely didn’t expect the Chefs would need to cheat to defeat the goddamn Texans.
Last drive they really need to sub in Brent Musburger
Is he still alive?
Would it matter?
Last game of the year, can’t hold anything back.
yeah think hes 85 according to wikipedia, a seance sponsored by DraftKings woulda been used instead
Notebook, closed.
Is anybody surprised at all? Not me!
KC gonna give it to KHunt like it was the Houston 500.
That KHunt sure is slippery…
I could have been sorting clothes for donation and folding the rest and then doing laundry.
instead I overate, and have a tummy ache after watching audience reaction clips of avengers endgame for some reason. And posting on FB because why not go for all the stupid ideas at once?
Gregggg Williams has a unit he thinks could get to Mahomes:
stroud with a hospital ball so bad it got the other team wtf
musta attendedd Derek Carrs off season camp
goodell and mahomes are lucky buddy ryan is no longer alive
“QBs are overpaid, overrated, pompous bastards and must be punished.”
Yes, your favorite team is that stupid and has no idea how to manage games.
watching too many Andy Reid games to study for this game has infected Ryans with bad flag management
Welp…
This just sucks
Long list of Stroud’s intangibles, but what about his rizz?
What he does in the shower is his business
-Joe Paterno
The Spread is at stake no this drive!
I’ve been pretty much ambivalent about Mahomes – he’s done some great things on the field, but I never really cared about him or the Chiefs enough to have much investment.
But for some reason, Mahomes pulling that slow up and flop shit… I hope someone knocks him the fuck out of the game.
Much like Artax we are now entering the Swamp of Sadness part of the game
Who can I call to redirect one of those water bombers to swing by Arrowhead and drop a few hundred gallons of napalm on the field?
Caitlin Clark wants nothing to do with drunk Taylor Swift.
She’s had enough of lesbians hitting on her.
both figuratively, and literally with forearms
That looks oddly familiar….
VOID VOID VOID
break his fucking knee for that flopping shit
welp. hail taytay satan
Should have been unsportsmanlike conduct goddamnit. Give that lady ref credit, she was emphatic it was nae a penno
Even the commentators are going WTF.
Touching the air that Mahomes is breathing, 15 yards
..
If I’m the defense, I’m walking off the field right now.
and the offense, too
100 yards of penalties on that scoring drive. A HUNDRED.
Between Gabbard and Kami Fairbairn Hawaii is a hotbed of traitor activity.
for all the stuff dreamboat and the greatriots pulled, they never had a literal witch at home games conjuring up all this mystical bullshit
HAIL THE BLEERGH WITCH
Sideline massages paid for by Robert Kraft.
pitching a different kind of blue tent
Why is Taylor Swift dressed like Cruella Deville?
Prase Shan’klor, the Unforgiving.
is this Fairbairn fellow a relative of Scott Norwood? He loves to miss wide right!
Was your dad a GI?
Ann Perkins!
(realize that is wrong show, I just always liked when Rob Lowe said that)