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King Hippo

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What’s new in the world, one might ask.  Not fuck shit, one might answer.

Appreciate this last weekend of both (i) full FITBAW schedule; and (ii) liberal democracy.  Hey, there’s a better than 50/50 shot prong (i) will at least come around again.  Depends on when the shooting wars start, I reckon.

Presumably, there is footy on USA and NBC today.  College hoopsball, for those unfortunate enough to care about it.  Me, I think I will finally get around to watching Paramount Plus’ “Landman” – it’s got Billy Bob Thornton in it, plus some other damned fine prestige TV-ish casting.  Shit, even my ex-wife said she thought I’d really like it.  One of many benefits of staying on the friendly side, if/when one’s family life and stability crumbles into the void.

OH YEAH, we gots us some real doggone good void times coming up!

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scotchnaut

Son of a Bitch!-there’s a new post up.*

*it’s of Pat Ewing quality, nowhere near Hakeem Olajawon territory

3
SonOfSpam

Kickass goal just now for USMNT (beating Venezuela, maybe not super impressive, but the goal was awesome)

AND NOW ANOTHER ONE

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SonOfSpam

Two nil, on TNT for those interested (by that I mean PATRIOTIC AMERICANS)

1
King Hippo

pre-game show from Hippo’s rabbit hole – a bloody genius and three Man United fans:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksc-7rWm35A

1
scotchnaut

A Hundred +1’s

/what a bloody, brilliant mess they were-never equaled, never even approached

2
King Hippo

I keep thinking – I would have needed to be FIVE years old (and only in NW England) to see their first (of only THREE total) appearance on the telly.

At these shows? I would have been six. So very, very far ahead of their time. I thank you profusely for reccing Hooky’s book series.

0
fleshwound_NPG

1994 snoop woulda shot both 2017 snoop and 2025 snoop

https://bsky.app/profile/datadrivenmd.social/post/3lfyiossns22j

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scotchnaut

Anyone else had the experience whereby turning 18 was the parents excuse for absolving themselves of any, any responsibility whatsoever for the kidling? That’s the boat that girlfriend of youngest skull fracture boy is rowing. Wow…

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Fronkenshteen

What’s Beattie Mixon’s track record as far as playing hurt? Does he gut shit out, or does Dameon Pierce turn into a GOD DAMN FOLK HERO TODAY?! YEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!

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Redshirt

50/50. He may power through or he may tap out. Expect him to be used as decoy or for Princess Bride battle-of-wits “We know you know we know you know he’s hurt”.

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Redshirt

.

IMG_0904
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Doktor Zymm

Why don’t bubble tea places open for breakfast? Oh well, got my fancy tea (jasmine cheese tea with lychee popping boba) and a bahn mi so I’m all good

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Doktor Zymm

Bahn Mi sandwiches are possibly the best thing to come out of colonial empires, although chicken tikka masala is up there too

2
ArmedandHammered

lamb vindaloo and naan

3
yeah right

^this guy gets it^

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Gatoraids

fun and ancient yet up to date website tracking dispersion of foods and when they invented

https://www.foodtimeline.org/index.html

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I often wonder the same thing. Are they politely telling us that it’s a milkshake and not a morning tea? I feel judged.

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Brick Meathook

Speaking of IHOP, I went to my nearby International House of Waffles, and I ordered a waffle. A Belgian Waffle.

I divided the plate surface into “Waffle Theaters of Operations” and designed my attack strategy around these divisions. Initial advances were made in the southeast, beginning with a saturation bombing using Old Fashioned syrup-substance.

https://ibb.co/s5sTQYY

The advance continued in the southwest, called “Operation Blueberry.” This was comprised of slashing attacks with a cheap butter knife coupled with fork forces using tines in a coordinated and mutually supporting manner.

https://ibb.co/NSTyMTd

Fighting in the northeast continued this trend, following a massive assault with “Strawberry Inspired Red Dye #3 Substance” to soften resistance.

https://ibb.co/RbNx7Px

Mopping up operations are continuing in the northwest. Updates will be posted when available.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

When you get back here, we need to collaborate. This should be a series of posts…

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Brick Meathook

Absolutely!

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Doktor Zymm

I always follow a strategy that involves the liberal use of butter mines

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is this the IHOP over in Ballston? Or down in Alexandria? IIRC the latter is not the most pristine of IHOPs.

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Brick Meathook

Ballston! The magic IHOP that has been there for 60 years and is surrounded with new development high-rises yet it still remains on its humble plot. It must be a cash cow (with $12 waffles it has to be) and I know they own the land.

1
Gumbygirl

We lived down the street from a Waffle House in Birmingham that was so disgusting they knocked it down and built a new one rather than try to clean it.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Arsenal fan reacts reasonably:

https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1i4fgu2/lonely_arsenal_fan_tantrum/

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scotchnaut

/Texas Tech recruiting pitch

“You’re going to play relentless defense, forcing every defender to go to their left hand, what do you say? Are you in?”

/I don’t think this is much of an exaggeration

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE TEXAS DEFENDERS I CALL THEM GALU TAGOVAILOA BECAUSE THEY ARE FORCING YOUNG MEI TO USE THEIR LEFT HAND EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT THEIR NATURAL INCLINATION TO DO SO.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Gatoraids

REMEMBER the Alamo? I took that personally

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Senor Weaselo

The good: I might have played the greatest game in our league history. Without telling you who won (to save for Nocturnes Magazine), 18-17, 17 innings, both teams were on their last pitcher and giving fatigue rolls, walk-off solo shot.

The bad: I was an hour late meeting Senorita Weaselo for her 90 minute break. If I am brutally murdered tonight, it’s been an honor, and the teddy bear did it.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is almost as bad as Horatio’s story last night about…um…that thing…with the girlfriend…that he abandoned in a burning car wreck so he could go play video games or something. I can’t recall the details, it was late and I was drunk. Or maybe it was early and I was sober. Anyhow, I don’t remember things so good these days.

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Horatio Cornblower

OH WHAT A GOAL!!!

No, not for UConn, they clanged one at the buzzer.

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Horatio Cornblower

How can that be disallowed? Where else is he supposed to tuck his arm?

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Horatio Cornblower

Never mind, an actual explanation from the announcer.

You can tell this isn’t US television.

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scotchnaut

How do I know it’s officially winter? There are dumb dude snowmobilers racing across our lake with no fear of going through the ice.

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Horatio Cornblower

Oh, it’s fixin’ to be a bad day in the diamond mines.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish I was a neutral because this has been a fantastic game.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m flipping back and forth between the UConn game. UConn setting up to lose by 3 when Karaban clangs a 28’er as time expires.

0
scotchnaut

/someone in college basketball bangs a hard shot off the glass that misses the hoop entirely

Men’s BB Take- “That was an ill-advised shot.”

Women’s BB Take: “The quality of basketball needs to improve dramatically before this sport is taken seriously.”

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Horatio Cornblower

In the UConn came the color guy just said “Creighton’s made 8 3s, and I think that’s helped them.”

Thanks, Donny Marshall. Where would we be without you?

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King Hippo

Good news, Grandson Bronco loved all the rotisserie chicken I gave him and is happily napping on Grandpa.

Bad news, he has gas that would make a corpse rotting in the sun jealous.

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Fronkenshteen

That’s the only table food our most shy kitteh will eat. Damn near eats it right off my plate, too! She acts completely unlike herself for the stuff, it’s great!

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Gumbygirl

This is an interesting story about those big planes that drop the fire retardant. I’ve known Bobby Smithley since we were kids, he and my brother were a grade ahead of me. They were groomsmen in each others weddings.
https://ssnews.page.link/2gSdoinXTn7tgCnV7

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Gatoraids

insanely impressive for them to fly and do that under the windy obscured vision conditions

Cool video from their safety training showing exactly how much force is delivered
https://youtu.be/ONdSoiI4zIA?t=82

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Horatio Cornblower

OK, Arsenal Twitter, let’s hear how much Trossard and Haavertz suck now.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Well, maybe they still do
/winded from typing this comment

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Fronkenshteen

This is a GAMBLOR! alert because I care deeply for everyone here. I have a VERY STRONG FEELING about the Houston Texans covering today’s point spread. If you’re unfamiliar with the smoldering wreckage of similar STRONG FEELINGS of mine from past playoff games, allow me to assure you that this WILL NOT HAPPEN. I actually feel bad for them. Poor bastards. I bet they even had a great, uplifting week of practice, never knowing their collective fate has already been predetermined by impressing my uninformed ass. They are marked with the Scarlet “F”.

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King Hippo

BROTHER!!!!

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Horatio Cornblower

The Texans?

You can gamble of fantasy teams now?

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Gatoraids

*open up note book*

comment image

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scotchnaut

Tears For Fears was so gotdamn serious, fer chrissakes. Give me some ABC!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTV5FvNCbhk&ab_channel=ABCVEVO

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Horatio Cornblower

Fightin’ Horatios, playing without their best player, down 7 in the second half to Creighton.

Creighton is always a good team that always bombs out early in the tournament, and I finally figured out why: it’s because all their players are about 30, and they just get tired playing that long of a season.

0
King Hippo

oh, I am down the rabbit hole now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L41MhFPU9s

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scotchnaut

A vision of dancing with a large-breasted Goth Girl just came into my head. She was from Stittsville.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stittsville

2
yeah right

Could be worse holes to fall down.

Trust me

2
scotchnaut

Hole, for one thing.

3
litre_cola

Gunner gol. Cecil will take it easy on the workers today.

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King Hippo

careful, though. Too many of those easy 10-hour shifts in the mines, a mofo start to get soft

2
King Hippo

Heard on the radio out running errands. I miss the Less Dark Timeline:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4g5MeonGYM

1
Gatoraids

read ‘Landman’ as Landsman I thought the Wire was getting a new spinoff

https://youtu.be/MFg4bhBV7pk?t=5

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King Hippo

Ali Larter is in it!!

1
litre_cola

Phew. 3 pts. Foxy footy going down.

4
King Hippo

if I heard right, their own fans were chanting “We. Are. Going Down! We are going DOWN!!”

2
Horatio Cornblower

Oh good, Saliba’s out.

This’ll end well.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
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Doktor Zymm

IHOP doesn’t have lingonberry crepes anymore. That is some BULLSHIT

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not thrilled that IKEA emerged as the victor, but I am thankful that the lingonberry mob wars are over.

2
scotchnaut

It’s almost a blessing that I don’t get Cuse basketball games any more.

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Horatio Cornblower

They still play?

0
scotchnaut

More than the Whalers.

/BOOM! OOF! POW!

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Horatio Cornblower

Damn you, sir. Damn you to Hell.

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scotchnaut

You went there. I went there. It was a wonderful adventure-let’s never go there again.

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King Hippo

The sport is dying anyway.

1
scotchnaut

The last little bit of it that is salient is happening in the women’s college game and the hatred directed towards it is…something else.

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King Hippo

I’ve learned a lot about humanity in the last 10-ish years. 0.00000% of it positive.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Well, the turns have certainly tabled in the Liverpool match.

Goddammit.

2
Horatio Cornblower

My son told me his friend made $10K last night. Knowing his friend I replied “Blackjack?”

My son replied “No. Trump coin.”

Me: “I would rather kill myself.”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At some point those lunatics will inevitably end up killing each other over that stuff, so you’ve at least got that to look forward to.

3
King Hippo

Your lips to God’s ears, I fucking hope. I am ready for the bodies to stack like firewood.

2
scotchnaut

I’ve been toying with the notion of opening a site that sells food to dumbass wackos that think the end-times are near. These rubes need to be separated from their money before they “The Mist” their families.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I don’t know how to make a site, but will learn to help take their moneys

1
scotchnaut

You say “Coding”, I say “MRE’s”, let’s get this thing going!

0
Gatoraids

the tactical scene already beat you to it

https://tacticalfoodpack.com/

Jim Bakker been hawking them for years
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/12/03/456677535/apocalypse-chow-we-tried-televangelist-jim-bakkers-survival-food

0
Horatio Cornblower

“Just 6 touches inside the Palace box” is also why Diana left Charles.

9
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s also why Prince Andrew was not allowed to bring any more of his “nieces” from “Canada” as guests into the family’s reserved section at the royal opera house.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
3
litre_cola

Fulham makes me more frustrated than when I was a pubescent adolescent.

2
King Hippo

I mightstream the second half. So you know who to blame obvs

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I watched their last game with a dedicated fan. I don’t know how he managed to restrain himself from putting a boot through the television.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Litre: “You can do that!?!?”

4
litre_cola

It is difficult for certain. Blood pressure through the roof.

1
Doktor Zymm

Just looked in my Venmo account and found $240 I didn’t realize I had from poker! Since it’s gambol money anyhoo perhaps I might try this sports betting lark, although would be easier if I was in Chicago where the legit sportsbooks are allowed to operate.

Anyone got the number for Otani’s guy?

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
5
King Hippo

ONE OF US!!!!

1
Mr. Ayo

I sure do, it’s (661) 729-2000

2
Doktor Zymm

Oh well done

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought that was the new number that State Farm clients can call to get their claims instantly rejected.

1
Mr. Ayo

Well, it’s just as useful for those clients.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Just set the money of fire. You’ll save time.

0
Don T

Imma play Bad Bunny’s new album 🔁🔁🔁 until told to stop. Or if some Who or Clash pops up, of course.
comment image

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King Hippo

Bad Bunny is neither bad, nor a bunny. DISCUSS

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Doktor Zymm

But he IS bad at BEING a bunny

6
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Rex and Lola with the side eye, agreeing
comment image

9
Horatio Cornblower

They seem pretty relaxed for prey animals.

Well done.

3
Redshirt

Reports: Vivek Ramaswamy plans to announce run for governor of Ohio

I’d be pissed but Ohio Governors forget that Cincinnati exists and is part of Ohio, so I think we’ll be okay.

3
King Hippo

Really hope Sherrod Brown runs. Against this ass clown, he MIGHT have a 5% chance.

0
Redshirt

Expand your footprint, Dems. Embrace the suburban sprawl.

0
Don T

Quite the party last night. This goes on today too, and tomorrow. Gotta fit the playoff games around. I am still saen u noe
Last night, during pouring rain. Still hella packT 😝
comment image

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Name five people in this photograph who don’t have dark hair. You can’t!

3
King Hippo

well cum 2 NOBUMMER’s Murrika smgdh

2
Horatio Cornblower

“Oh my god it’s full of Puerto Ricans!!!!”

2
litre_cola

I am ready to rage again.

2
King Hippo

Oh and I was asleep early and forgot to answer your query (why Iggles have best Owl odds):

1) The NFC has two real contenders, the AFC has three. As such, the “pie piece” is split fewer ways for PHI and DET. (tldr – it’s harder to get out of the AFC bracket and you can’t win the Owl if not there)
2) Everybody thinks BUF and BAL are the best teams.
3) Nobody thinks KC is really THAT good.
4) But KC will be at home in the conference title game, after BAL and BUF beat each other senseless the week before.
5) DET is still very banged up physically.

2
Don T

Buenos días WOOOOOOO. Driving the Imaginaries bandwagon today #EvictKC

Fave song of 2025 so far. Literally bangin’
https://youtu.be/Toq85_RPmus?si=arHp09NABCkw4wkz

2
King Hippo

I can squint and see the 500s doing it, too.

Which means you should run, not walk, to place all teh moneys on the Chefs.

1
Doktor Zymm

Aren’t the Chiefs like -9 or something? That seems like an insane line for a playoff game, even with one of the teams being imaginary

3
King Hippo

My brain agrees, so…(BET AGAINST MY BRAIN)

0
King Hippo

GOOD JORB, Cherries!!

1
Senor Weaselo

Ooh, the Cherries! That makes three things I know about Bournemouth, after Razer and The Witches.

1
yeah right

A right proper Barcode curb stomp.

Now, Fuck off Newcastle!

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