
Good evening, you caught me in a good time. I have a wide smile and a full belly after having my favorite dish: rice and beans and bistec encebollado. It what’s on the banner pic, except mine looked better and tasted 😛.
It was during lunch with someone I love and deeply admire, with ample wisdom and an unshakably sympathetic outlook on life. And we spent most of the lunch talking shit and laughing at people we know. God damn good gossip is delicious.
As long as I’ve understood words, there is no bigger attention grabber than “You can’t tell anybody, but [looks around nervously]…”
Why, betrayed confidence AND a likely juicy story?
There’s people who have no problem knowing stuff and keeping quiet. Those are good friend material, unless they never pick up the check. (“Tight wallet, loose maw”, goes a saying I just made up.) Then there’s folks who are usually prudent, but you can influence and cajole stuff from them. These are Fun Friend material, a much better option because talking about people behind their backs makes for better hangs.
For me, good gossip has to be about people I know, not people I know of. In fact, celebrity gossip encapsulates most of what I currently hate in real life: making terrible people famous (and therefore powerful), invasions of privacy, attention whoring, judging based on sexual innuendo, rapacious exploitative media etc. etc. Actors, royals, rappers—bleh. But tell me the neighboUr of a nephew of a snotty former boss of mine got caught running a stolen catalytic converter ring and
A tasty piece of gossip needs a specific person and another concrete element, like a place. “You’re not going to believe who I saw entering a [hotel lobby / urologist office / bondage conference / Weight Watchers meeting / Satanic Yoga]”. The source is what distinguishes gossip from rumoUr: first hand is best, “I glanced”, “I hacked”… But there are also secondary sources of impeccable fidelity, like a lazy cop neighbor, or what’s overheard at doctor waiting rooms and beauty parlors. Some people just won’t shut the fuck up, hallelujah.
NFL NEWS
-The 49ers traded RB Jordan Mason to the Vikings for picks and giggles: Frisco gets #160, Minny #187 for ’25, plus tip.
-Falcons do nothing.
-RELATED: QB Kirk Cousins gets $10 million guaranteed to stay in Atlanta.
- FB Kyle Juszczyk – 49ers, “two” years
- WR JuJu Smith-Schuster – Chefs, one year
-Resigning:
Me, on referencing NFL non-events like
- Deals coming soon on X or Y receiver, or QB cranks. Wake me when signed or wound up.
- Draft or trade projections. I dealt with more concrete stuff at my Linear Algebra class
- Who’s in the best shape of his career
- Which player is a good or bad system fit with a new team… That might be the speculation / #content line for me right there.
-According to the mothership, there is nothing
on the Operations schedule until the March 30 – April 2 league meetings at The Breakers VIP Vomitorium. What are ya gonna do. Lousy calendar [shakes fist at constant, unidirectional passage of time].
SPROTS TONITE
All times Central
NCAA SELECTION SUNDAY
Time for the star to shine
No, not you! Take your ominous humming elsewhere.
I’m talking about the real star, the bracket. O Bracket, you are the pathetic testament of our hasty decisions to carry around for public view and humble us. A Lent-Lite, for you unbelievers of the one true, guilt-trippin’, faith.
NHL
Oilers @ Rangers – 6:00
Panthers @ Islanders – 6:30
Ducks @ Blues – 7:00
Utah? Wtf! @ Canucks – 7:00
Jets @ KRAKENNN – 8:00
TRAVELIN 3s
Jazz @ Timberwolves – 6:00
Hornets @ Clips – 6:00
Thunder @ Bucks – 8:00
TOP PLIGHT FÚTBOL
Oh my Gaah everyone and their madre play tonight. Home team first, #Obvio
Argentina
Belgrano (Córdoba) v. Barrancas Ventral – 7:00
Lanús v. Instituto (Córdoba) – 7:00
Chile
Deportes Iquique v. Unión Española – 6:30
Colombia
Independiente Medellín v. Deportivo Cali – 6:20
Llaneros v. Atlético Junior – 8:30
Go all the way: ¡Atlético Júnior estaba ahí! Junior seems like a half-measure, tch.
Costa Rica
Sporting San José v. Herediano – 7:00
Ecuador
Emelec v. Liga de Quito – 6:00
Guatemala
Antigua v. Deportivo Mixco – 8:00
Paraguay
Deportivo Recoleta v. Sportivo Luqueño – 6:30
Secsi Mexi
Pumas UNAM v. Monterrey – 7:00
Pachuca v. Tijuana – 9:00
Uruguay
Racing (Montevideo) v. Nacional – 6:30
U.S.A.
Atlanta United v. Inter Miami – 6:00
Reminder: You can still hate on Luis Suárez 😝
Venezuela
Deportivo La Guaira v. Estudiantes de Mérida – 6:30
FINALLY,
the kind of gossip that interests me more is backroom maneuverings and financial fuckery. But of course my favorite is the stuff that humiliates and therefore humanizes persons who take themselves waaay too seriously—especially those persons who with a mere “Hi, what are you doing here?” makes your brain lock down into “You’re in a public place. Do NOT say ‘You think yer better than me?’”.
All of gossip on that and those, I dig. Not, NOT the sex lives of others. I’m not interested on how, when, why other people fuck. Not my bag, at all.
But with who, well, scoff. I mean, erm… More bearings more bearings OK. Let me just say: it’s a joyless experience to be the last person to find out, in your work, about a coworker’s tryst. And it also sucks being told, a year after it happened, that a friend-of-a-friend who’s a vocal Old Testament citer got the Sodom in his Gomorrah on a business trip to Orlando. Everyone knows already, so business trip gets no air quotes when told to you.
But 🚧 🚨OBVIOUS CRAP ALERT 🚨🚧 stale gossip is better than no gossip. If nothing else, old gossip brings you more up to date with the people you love, through shitting on other people behind their backs. For yuks and spite, what delights. Happy March Madness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egw0q6qfzDY
Been sitting near the gate for about 30 minutes now and they just came on to say the tow mechanism to tow the plane into the gate is broken and they have to go find another one. This blows. I hope I can still get home before 1am, the gym will be fun on 4 hrs or less sleep lol
(disembodied voice of Ron Howard):
“It wasn’t fun.”
And it’s looking more like 3 hours. Airport is stupid busy for around midnight
3.5, woohoo!
I’m listening to OK Computer on headphones. It’s an excellent use of what little hearing I have left.
Here’s a home movie I took from the cockpit of my F-9000B Block-4 fighter-bomber as we did a coordinated strike on an illegal immigrant camp in Mexico near the U.S. border. Those flashes are from the B-52s hitting tents and lean-tos along a stream bed. Post-mission recon photos show we got a healthy 10% hit rate and we mostly missed some nearby schools and hospitals. Outstanding!
https://vimeo.com/1066391949?share=copy#t=0
In local sports news…
.
Bengals make Ja’Marr Chase the NFL’s highest-paid non-QB, also sign Tee Higgins to massive deal, per reports – CBSSports.com
Bengals did…good?
Mike Brown…no cheap?
Wait till Brown cuts Burrow tomorrow.
He’s gonna trade off Burrow for cash just to remind Redshirt how things work around Cincinnati.
NFL Network: “Bengals trade QB Joe Burrow to Pittsburgh for a Penn Station coupon and a Conditional Amazon Gift Card.”
We’ll be fair. Yinz can also have our third 7th round pick. In 2034.
It’s a St. Pats eve miracle for the Orangemen!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbiLwP-bktg
Early 2025 Bengals Season Preview
Higgins is a jobber
You sound like cool conversation around the water cooler Don T. Funny write up Buddy, well done.
Don T is a very good live conversationalist.
Cannot speak to his relationship with Buddy…
This is surprisingly good:
Mix it with the Swedish Fish vodka and see what happens
Do you start the night by drinking that? Or do you have like a more conventional St Paddy’s inebriation (car bomb?) to get your pallet prepared?
And then can you go back to a classic Harp after drinking that?
I had it after I got a birdie playing golf and one of the guys in the group offered to give us all shots to celebrate. You don’t turn down free alcohol.
It was a pleasant surprise in that it actually tasted good. I was not expecting much.
It’s zesty! I hate zesty.
Earthquake!
Don’t pee in your pants. It’ll be over soon.
3.9, centered near Malibu.
I didn’t feel anything.
Obligatory.
— Deanna F., MS
Or alternately,
*attributed to D. Favre
Me neither and I’m sitting right here.
I didn’t either, but I’m in Riverside. Nobody feels anything here.
A lot of rookie dumbshits out tonight.
Gonna be horrible tomorrow…
This is very timely. I just spend a couple of hours at a Clippers game with a high school buddy catching up on all the chisme.
To give you an idea of the level of chisme, I discovered that one common HS friend is now married for the fourth time, has moved to Tennessee, is now the oldest cop in his department, and his wife is constantly cheating on him.
He still wants her to move to Tennessee with him…
Sigh. What to drink tonight, what to drink tonight…
The blood and tears of your enemies.
Irish Whiskey
what not to drink tonight
Here’s a home movie I took from the cockpit of my F-9000B Block-4 fighter-bomber as we did a coordinated strike on an illegal immigrant camp in Mexico near the U.S. border. Those flashes are from the B-52s hitting tents and lean-tos along a stream bed. Post-mission recon photos show we got a healthy 10% hit rate and we mostly missed some nearby schools and hospitals. Outstanding!
https://vimeo.com/1066391949?share=copy#t=0
Excuse me, a -1?
Explain yourself kid.
Missed the schools and hospitals? Doing better than the IDF then
Sorry, Ma’am, we did our best. You come along next time.
Think for the NCAAM, I’m gonna root for Mount St. Mary, rapey mission statement notwithstanding.
I mean even the name of the institution is a tiny little bit rapey. The canonization committee frowns on young women who give up their virtue willingly.
Napoleon II getting a handie was the documented miracle, ppl forget that
Annual group bracket created.
DFO Bracket Insanity on ESPN fantasy.
If you played last year you should get an email.
Password is DFO.
In!
I have watched zero basketball so go ahead and give me my Gently Used Fleshlight already.
I watched a couple of minutes of the Big 12 tourney, that floor sent me to an alternate universe. I’m already mathematically eliminated, and I haven’t even made my picks yet.
I think I did?
The Fightin’ Horatios are the #8 seed in the West region. The Creighton Blue Jays, who beat the Fightin’ Horatios in the tournament semifinal, are the #9 seed in the South region, playing against Louisville (who is ranked around #14 in the country) in Lexington Kentucky, which is about an hour’s drive from Louisville.
I guess the selection committee didn’t trust karma to take care of business after one of Creighton’s players dunked just before the buzzer against UConn, and took matters into their own hands.
“How dare that basketball player put the ball in the basket!”
– some old white guy probably
I don’t like to think of myself as old, but I was definitely like that. Mainly because I was looking for a reason to be mad at Creighton for beating UConn.
Creighton is 2-3 against the Fightins, but hasn’t had a particularly good year. Even their win against UConn lose some luster thanks to UConn’s habit of losing to teams like Seton Hall.
Not a great year overall for the Big East.
Florida rolling number #1 Seed can only wait to see how we choke
One of the talking heads picked UConn as the team with the best chance to knock Florida out. before the Final Four. That’s great, but the problem is UConn is also the team with the best chance to knock UConn out during the first weekend.
Having watched three of UConn’s most recent four games I feel comfortable assessing them as simply “not very good”. They don’t have a star. Karaban is fine but he’s not carrying this team, and nobody else seems ready to even try.
The Irish gathering is warming up.
Had boxty, Corned beef, soda bread, shortbread for dessert and now we’ve got Guinness and Jameson.
We’re minutes away from poker and the Wahini brought her cash.
She’s twelve. Consider it a life lesson.
One of life’s great lessons is humility.
Since I was sharing the Irish photos earlier, here’s one from the Shankhill district in Belfast.
Stop your whining you pansies and take that Union Jack shit back to England!
Mrs. Horatio made her corned beef tonight. My daughter’s boyfriend heard about it late and drove an hour each way, at the last minute, so he could have some for dinner.
It’s that good.
Watching the Bourne Ultimatum and Julia Stiles is so damn attractive.
Time to take Canada down a peg. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
No. Give my shitty hometown something!
We gave you Tanev . You’re welcome.
He was ours first!
I saw Kraken girl on a date with Lobster boy in the park yesterday! I wonder if her dad knows?
Gonna guess that at least half the Kraken is Canadian, so how does that work
There are no nations in the depths of the eldritch abyss, only insanity and horror
For the blood god
Starting my ancestors preparation for the St Patrick tradition of showing up to work hungover.
I’m German, English, Irish and Scottish. I’m showing up to work drunk.
same mix with Swedish thrown in somewhere in the genes but not in the body
So, how’s everyone else’s weekend been?
Hey, you have a leak!
Yes, ask your doctor if leakgaurdinoyl is right for you.
Chinese “hotel”?
peeing with viagra is a challenge