Monday Morning Mock Draft: Are You Really Gonna Wear That?

Guten Tag, people, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day.  This post has nothing to do with Ireland or the Irish.  I’ve been busy today trying to plan a trip to Puerto Rico, while knowing nothing about the island other than it’s in the middle of the Atlantic, is home to DFO’s Suavest Man, has less-than-reliable power, and has an economy based on paper towels.

Also I don’t speak Spanish.

While I’ve sure we’ll get this done soon, in the mean time I kind of forgot about the whole Mock Draft thing until now, so I’m reaching into my desk drawer and pulling out the list of topics I remembered to write down during the off-season for just such occasions.

This week we’re drafting Worst Uniforms.  I’m going to limit it to professions franchises, (because I might want to use amateur/college teams for another draft), but any sport is on the table.  I also deem any national team on the table as well, as a) most of the players on those teams are paid to be there, and b) the US Men’s National Soccer Team could probably cover this draft by itself.  I won’t post any images here, because I don’t want to interfere with anyone’s picks, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, whoever’s in charge of the uniforms for the USMNT needs serious pyschiatric help.

One other rule that I just made up to make everyone’s life difficult:  the uniform in question has to have been a uniform is use throughout an entire season or tournament.  Specialty uniforms, like those goddamn City Connect atrocities, are not eligible.

The Pittsburgh Steeler bumblebee unis are eligible, however, because those were in use for an entire season, just not one in recent history.  Or apparently one where people could see in color.

Also home and away options are separate and distinct for purposes of this draft.  If someone draft the home version the away version, (assuming it is also hideous), remains available.  And vice versa.

For me the #1 pick here is so obvious I’ve made it the featured image.  My god, what were the people in charge of the Vancouver Canucks branding/marketing thinking about in the late 70’s?  Other than cocaine, of course.

The rest of you are on the clock.  Get some eyeball bleach together and