I’ll be honest, this draft may have some limited appeal and we’ll probably wind up talking amongst ourselves before we run out of picks, but I wanted to use that featured image and I’ve been watching more hockey than usual lately, so you will get the draft you get and you will like it.

Today we draft goons.  A goon, for purposed of this draft, is defined as a hockey player whose sole reason for being in the NHL is to beat up other people, often other goons.  We are not looking for NHL tough guys who could otherwise play.  Brendan Shanahan, for example, was not someone you wanted to get into an argument with at a bar and ten decide to go out to the parking lot and discuss things further, because Brendan Shanahan would absolutely beat your ass senseless before his beer went flat.  Shanahan was also so good that he managed to score 44 goals for the Whalers, in a year when the Whalers were interested in doing nothing more than laying a foundation to get out of Hartford.

As always, fuck Peter Karmanos.

Anyway, Shanahan would not be eligible for this draft because while he could and would fight, his primary purpose was to score goals and in general be a good player.

Another rule we’re only drafting real goons, no fictional types, even if ‘Goon’ is a far better movie than it had any right to be.

With the first pick of the Goon Draft I will take Stu ‘The Grim Reaper’ Grimson

This is Stu Grimson fighting Shane Churla, another goon.  I saw this fight live.  Churla had some kind of facial injury going into this game, and he still initiated a fight with Stu Grimson, which is something I wouldn’t do when fully healthy and a rifle platoon backing me up.  Grimson tried to back away from the fight but Churla wouldn’t stop, so Grimson proceeded to, and I mean this literally, break Churla’s face.  Click on that link and you can see Grimson stop fighting and wait for the other Rangers to jump in, so as to avoid killing Churla.

That was nice of him.

The rest of you are on the clock.