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Saturday Night Off-season Open Thread 2025-16

ballsofsteelandfury

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I’m going continue the bit with the lists. Tonight, I present to you a list of things I like that start with the letter P:

  • Pie
  • Pasta
  • Printemps (it’s French)
  • Ponies (but not like Redshirt)
  • Poon (better than the other word, don’t you think?)
  • Parties
  • Paella (Valenciana is best but I like all kinds)
  • Pars
  • Paris (the city)
  • Pillows (the kind shaped like a butt)
  • Premierships

I could go on. However, I need to move on.

So, aside from THAT, what is there to talk about?

Soccer Update

Barcelona has won La Liga. They have also won the Copa Del Rey. Real Madrid did not win a trophy and will have a new coach. It’s only a matter of time before Xabi Alonso is pried from Leverkusen.

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Stanley Cup Cocaine Update

The second round games have been pretty awesome, haven’t they? Toronto managed to force a Game 7 last night. Game Sevens are the greatest things in the world

The Jets will try to also force a Game Seven tonight against the Stars.

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Golf Updates

I played this morning with my boss and shot my all-time best at that course. A 96 and my handicap should drop down to 25.3.

Last week, I barely missed getting into the money by one stroke. The funny bit is that I scored an 11 on the 18th hole. If it wasn’t for that disaster hole, I would have done quite well.

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In this space, I will tell you what I’m drinking as I type this post. Today’s drink is: Monster Energy Ultra Vice Guava.

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Your weekly Psych gif:

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Your weekly hot girl pic:

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Your weekly music video:

***

One last thing:

Seriously, hat tip to Brocky:

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Horatio Cornblower

It appears that there is only one set of footprints behind Grand Canyon State’s NCAA hopes right now, because Jesus has clearly packed up and left the stadium.

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ballsofsteelandfury

He’s turning water into wine for the U of A party

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Horatio Cornblower

Love the Arizona pitcher. Most high-level softball players where masks when pitching, or even when playing IF, and for good reason. This pitcher does not. Because she simply does not allow the other team to hit the ball, thereby rendering the idea of a mask moot.

This might be one of the biggest ‘fuck you’ things I’ve ever seen in sport.

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Horatio Cornblower

ESPN Announcers: “What a great job by the Grand Canyon coach bringing this particular pitcher in at this particular time because of (Reasons A,B,C & D)

Arizona Hitter: (Who has clearly not been listening to ESPN). /Hits first pitch 45′ over the left field fence

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WCS

If the pitcher prayed harder*, that wouldn’t have happened.

*GCU has a bit of an evangelical bent. That aspect has seemed to ease some over the last decade-plus, though. Blax could probably elaborate more.

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Horatio Cornblower

They’re not subtle about it in their ads.

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Horatio Cornblower

Tonight’s beer.

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9.2%, so I’m gonna call it at two.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pat pig.” – the press corps at one of Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ news conferences, when questioned about what they had said under their breath

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Horatio Cornblower

“They’re throwing balls at her, they’re throwing lube at her….”

I’m really get mixed signals here: should I be jerking off to this or not?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.

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Brick Meathook

PIE!

https://ibb.co/0RnxD9Vs

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Horatio Cornblower

You already won the dessert draft, sir.

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2Pack

Some good lookin stuff right there…

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Brick Meathook

That’s Balls’s pie up top, mine in the foreground, at the House of Pies in Los Feliz (Los Angeles)

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WCS

“Grand Canyon University is playing Arizona in college softball” is a factual statement. The former for-profit school really has decided to try to be bigtime.

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Horatio Cornblower

Well Jesus was big on profit…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I bought tickets for a professional rugby at UCLA and they moved it to fucking Irvine. Like I want to spend my day driving through soulless Orange County surrounded by some of the worst examples of privilege and entitlement that humanity has ever…oh hey SonOfSpam, didn’t see you there.

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Brick Meathook

Irvine is what Europe would look like if the Nazis had won the war.

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ballsofsteelandfury

The funny thing is that my Korean boss lives there… He has Korean neighbors. Maybe he lives in the Korean District…

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Jimbo

Is that by the hammock district?

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Brick Meathook

Oh I think it’s heavily Asian; I just mean the general layout of the place.

My favorite Asians are the Lebanese.

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Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think that sapphic love is confined to Asians.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll have to do some research to verify this claim…

Last edited 11 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
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Horatio Cornblower

That joke goes back to the time when one of the churches, (probably the Episcopalians, because they don’t really count), ordained a lesbian minister. The newspaper ran an editorial cartoon where grumpy old guy is coming out church saying “I don’t think much of all these changes, and what’s all this now about a Lebanese minister anyway?”

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2Pack

Parmigiano starts with a P, I must point out.

sophia-loren-madame-sans-gene-6
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ballsofsteelandfury

This is true

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2Pack

We would miss so much if not for you guys.

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WCS

P or p is just an upside-down b, and boobs start with b.

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ballsofsteelandfury

59009

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Horatio Cornblower

OK, there’s a Junior’s division of Slippery Stairs where small lads in spandex outfits slide around in what is essentially lube, and I am beginning to suspect that this contest is sponsored by the Catholic Church, the Boy Scouts, or both.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Horatio Cornblower

The Women’s Slippery Stairs was much faster, because unlike the men the women just focused on getting to the top, rather than tackling each other and destroying another person’s chances at glory instead of focusing on their own.

There’s a lesson in there, but as a male I refuse to learn it.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The lesson is that TV is not real life.

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ballsofsteelandfury

This. Women are WAY better at messing with other women than men mess with men.

Last edited 11 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
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Horatio Cornblower

If I have to try a case where the plaintiff is an attractive female the jurors I look for the most are other attractive women.

Because no one hates a hot woman as much as another hot woman.

This has never failed me in the exactly one time I’ve had to put this theory to use, so it’s basically science.

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Horatio Cornblower

Slippery Stairs on ESPN The Ocho is hilarious

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Gatoraids

right you are Ken

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Horatio Cornblower

I see the Mexican Navy attacked the Brooklyn Bridge today…

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ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t wait for the memes…

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Doktor Zymm

No schooner said than done

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SonOfSpam

The hydraulics in the mast were a bad idea.

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Brick Meathook

Whoa that’s crazy! And square rigs like that have crew standing up in the rigging for ceremonial events (like this) and you can see them up there. Those are the injured. Plus, they were docking at Pier 17, which is downstream of the Brooklyn Bridge so there was no reason for them to have gone that far. They backed out pretty fast so they had engine control. A bunch of people already got fired that’s for sure.

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Brick Meathook

I take that back. The first video I saw was misleading. They were actually moving astern and hit the bridge on the Brooklyn side, coming to a stop at Dumbo (where I used to work). They must have been out of control going astern (they would be on engines not sail) because they were supposed to be docking on the Manhattan side.

The initial New York Times article repeatedly calls the 300′ ship a “sailboat.” Remember you heard all the proper analysis here from me first.

Back to you, Walter.

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WCS

I wonder if I’ll still be as mystified and strangely entertained by people who literally run away from a hit-and-run. They get out of their vehicle and run away. Is it

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ballsofsteelandfury

Just like the thought ran away from your post…

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WCS

going to be as intriguing to me in 15 years as it is now?

I think that’s where I was going with that. Maybe.

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Horatio Cornblower

I once had a case where a guy ran away from his work van, while 40+ miles from his home, after hitting an ambulance while DWI after leaving a strip joint.

Like, sir, where did you think you were going to go?

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Doktor Zymm

Back to the strip joint?

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Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think the strip joint was in the woods but he was pretty drunk, so your idea makes as much sense as anything else.

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WCS

It’s a little early to be running to the lav already…

Just took a commercial panic alarm call from ADT Security.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfxykIV4-hg

What else is happening?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Welp. There go the Jets…

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SonOfSpam

-Aircraft carrier captain, after making a hard left because his wife didn’t tell him to turn until it was almost too late

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Horatio Cornblower

How much could a banana F-35 fighter jet cost, Michael? $10?

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Mr. Ayo

A 5th one? Damn!

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Horatio Cornblower

Well shit.

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Brick Meathook

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ballsofsteelandfury

FREE HOCKEY!!

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Horatio Cornblower

Not much of it.

Goddamn tariffs.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m rooting for Winnipeg, but how is that not a penalty shot?

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Mr. Ayo

No idea. It should be.

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Horatio Cornblower

Spent way too much time outside in the sun today, so kinda-sorta-maybish napped a little after dinner but now I’m back and into the 9.2 beers.

For BFC’s AMA, who is your favorite DFOer you met at Treehouse and why is it me?

0
rockingdog

Found a funny:

[first day as ninja]

*another ninja slaps the maraca out of my hand

3
Doktor Zymm

Way too full for desert but after the draft Monday got a tres leches to go. Had a bite just now before driving home and very glad I got it.

1
jjfozz

Just realzed that watchin ganyting related to 9-11 fill sme with fury. lik i want to punch a tank. fuck thos eguys

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WCS

ANGRY PATRIOT BOURBLE ACHIEVEMENT UNLEASHED

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jjfozz

welp we shitcanned brandon, not like those fuck faces in the fron toffice and owners didn’t do their goddamn jobs

all rich people should have their guts fed to pigs

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Jimbo

-we shitcanned brandon, 49% of voters.

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