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Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned [in bed].
Maya Angelou
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a nap, or just lying in bed for a bit.
Got nothing interesting to ramble on about this week. or really any week. Didn’t get out golfing, no lacrosse, didn’t really go anywhere, and it wasn’t the warmest weekend, like 15C, so didn’t get much done outside either other than cutting the lawn. And honestly, kinda like my boring, nothing going on life.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Mrs. Horatio drafts this week, saying that she wants to keep this week in Puerto Rico going forever and never go back to work.
Thanks a lot, Don.
Horatio Cornblower
Since my 43rd is coming up this Friday… I think I’ll take this guy’s advice…
2Pack
Will someone tell the Packers to take one for the team and end this nonsense? As much as I enjoy watching Pittsburgh and the Steelers Nation be held in this perpetual existential nightmare, even they don’t deserve Qaron to darken their doorstep.
Redshirt
Moar like Mary Lou Re-ally should have used an Uber.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2025/may/27/mary-lou-retton-gymnast-dui-arrest
Jimbo
She appears to have issues, it’s a shame. Hope she gets the help she needs. But there is no excuse for driving drunk. Or being in West Virginia.
Gumbygirl
Went down a genealogy rabbit hole today (beats workin) and found there’s a good chance I’m related to King Henry II (12th century British dude).
Of course, I’m not related to one of his legit kids.
Related to this bastard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Longesp%C3%A9e,_3rd_Earl_of_Salisbury
SonOfSpam
See? It happens!
Now, let’s discuss future marriage alliances…
We just got back home from a week in San Juan and it is a frigid 63 degrees here and I no longer understand how people can live in these conditions.
Horatio Cornblower
Sharkbait
Introduced Youngest Skull Fracture boy to calamari. (wifey hates pretty much all life that exists in water) It’s been a revelation for him. Are scallops next? Not sure what to put on this slippery/slimy slope.
scotchnaut
My son was eating escargot when he was like 3. One of my asshole brothers told him they were snails, and Ben just shrugged his shoulders and said
” delicious snails.” We were so proud!
Gumbygirl
kinda want
its one way to get andy reid interested in basketball
fleshwound_NPG
I saw a film once called Slurping Sabrina but I don’t think it was her.
SonOfSpam
Oh shit, Canes are back!
Mr. Ayo
Oh no, FEMA is not ready
Jimbo
Bond. James Bond.
Brick Meathook
Two fun things today
1) A reporter asked Trump about “TACO” which is a finance-guy invention that stands for “Trump Always Chickens Out” vis-a-vis tariffs, which is objectively true, and Trump had never heard of that (because his sycophantic underlings could never tell him) and got ALL his feelings in a tizzy.
2) Then a federal court ruled today that his tariff-a-g0-go doings were illegal, because we’re not in any kind of national emergency (duh) which would necessitate his bypassing Congress, so all tariffs are off immediately.
It’s fun because he was told twice, in two different situations, that he’s a powerless bitch, and I’m not sure anything makes him more cranky. Maybe tonight we get the ragestroke that would spark universe-wide celebrations!
SonOfSpam
You may want to sit down for this one.
Jameis Winston threw an INT on his very first pass at Giants camp earlier this week.
scotchnaut
Plot twist: the Defense wasn’t even on the field at the time.
LemonJello
Just a pro-tip:
Arguing with a 9-1-1 operator does not actually increase the speed at which responders can drive, nor will yelling “HURRY UP” rather than listening to important instructions help, either. As many times as you want to scream “HURRY,” stoplights don’t care (or even know). Also, teleportation doesn’t exist yet, so yes, it requires time for responders to get there.
WCS
Ciao tutti
2Pack
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Funeral went well. Family is healing. Falcons are Falconing.
Redshirt
My Friday night ride…
2Pack
Mason Rudolph came up on stage at a Trump rally today.
So there’s another guy who can get fucked. Preferably by Kid Rock.
SonOfSpam
So we definitely know Myles Garrett wasn’t lying about what he heard.
Mr. Ayo
I had hoped he misheard or something, but nope. Myles had the right idea (ripping the guy’s head off).
SonOfSpam
The only thing this [sexy friday] post is missing is the jump to comments link
Game Time Decision
Stupid sexy donuts
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Sexy Friday Adjacent?
Redshirt
It happens
Brick Meathook
On the small road I take to get to the farm where I ride, one of the homes along the way is offering “HAWG”
It looked like they were stacking firewood when I drove by, maybe a pig roast? Or setting a Harley on fire?
Doktor Zymm
“Hot Agricultural Women Gangbang” is my best guess.
scotchnaut
/looking at mustard green recipes on YoobToob
-Guy uses shit ton of bacon grease to fry the greens
Comment: “So nice to see someone showing off the healthy side of southern cooking!”
/I don’t think it was sarcastic
scotchnaut
This probably should have been on sexy Friday, but I was on a boat.
A clandestine view at where bananacakes come from:
Doktor Zymm
Final day of little league season and being in charge of snack bar. Except both kid’s made their age’s all star team and their regular season team made the playoffs. Yes, humble brag (not due to me, i have <0 athletic ability), but we need to coordinate practice/scrimmages up to 20 miles away. Nothing but kid’s dirt football for us the next month and a half. Boo hoo
Bogdanski
Fish was caught and beer was drank. Excellent day overall.
Jimbo
Jimbo
The Women’s World Series used to be Golden Girls international fan club meetings
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Excellent work. I’d encourage the addition of jalapeno peppers and avocado, but ’tis a fine burrito.
I also love that Mr. Ayo is driving around in McLarens and Ferraris on weekends but has a stove that Todd Marinovich wouldn’t even deign to steal the wiring from.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
During reading of this masterpiece when you arrived at cooking the sausage I rose from my desk walked into my room and smoked a bowl. Then I walked out to the kitchen and made myself a vodka drink then returned an finished this fine tour of culinary delights with drink in hand.
Well done sir and thank you for the inspiration. It is 8:20 in the morning. I’m high and I have a drink going. The beginnings of another weird day.
DJ TAJ
Here’s another great seasoning trick, and you can use it in both the burrito and the vodka drink.
Brick Meathook
What’s the best thing about drinking brake fluid?
You can stop any time you want!
scotchnaut
yay, we have a new vacuum, how nice
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Jimbo
The Horatio’s are wonderful people and I just wish Lowratio could have made it to Baltimore.
ArmedandHammered
I understand he declined because he already has more crabs than he can handle.
SonOfSpam
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
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