I Have No Butthole, and I Must Fart: Tuesday Open Thread

Greetings from the Land of Barely Suppressed Rage. I’m fine. You’re fine. Everyone’s…fine.

I was raised by an escaped WASP in the Jewish faith. So normally I just let the constant simmering cauldron of fury sit below my normally calm veneer. There it stews like a delicious Violence Gumbo until presented with an appropriate outlet

Normally, I’m pretty good about finding socially acceptable outlets for it: track days, heavy bag, or beating metal until it conforms to my will:

But now…now, I am Fucked, because I blew out my elbow. No surgery, just pain. I’m supposed to rest it, which means none of my Big Three Stress Relievers for at least 3 months.

Pray for me, and for whatever unfortunate at work next tells me we will “put a pin in it” while we “socialize the problem”.

NFL NEWS:

-Jim Marshall kicked it. The former Minnesota Viking great died today at 87. I always felt like a great sympathy for him, having lost four Super Bowls. And this:

He always seemed to maintain a good sense of humor about it, and did a lot of good charitable work. He was a true champion.

I mean, except literally.

-Texans coach DeMeco Ryans told the press he has “no concerns” about quarterback C.J. Stroud’s limited throwing due to a shoulder injury, calling it “general soreness.” So, RIP C.J. Stroud’s career then-  amputation by Week 8.