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Sexy Friday – 20250627

Mr. Ayo

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TGIF! How is there no sports on TV tonight? Well, baseball, but come on. Guess I’ll just catch up on season 4 of Clarkson’s Farm.

Word Count Filler Time

Did you know there are some odd town names in the USA? Of course you do. Let’s do a little comparison of some of them.

Sun vs Moon (Mississippi for both)
Black vs White (BAMA and ArKansas)
Paradise vs Hell (Cali and Michigan)
Rock and Roll (UrKansa and Okie)
Devil Town vs Angel (THEE Ohio for both)
Papa and Mummie (Ha’waii and Kenfucky)
Cat Creek vs Dog Creek (Montana and Okie)
Smart vs Dumbell (Non-directional Virginia and Does Not Exist Wyoming)
Hungry Horse vs Fuller (Montana for both)
Sound Beach vs Silent Grove (NY and ArKansas)
Democrat vs Republican (ArKansas and NC)
Start vs Stop (Gumbo Nation and Georgia)
War vs Peach (West Virginia and BAMA)
Straight vs Gay (Okie for both)
Duet vs Solo (Non-directional Virginia and Tennessee)
Liberty vs Justice (Kenfucky for both)
Can Do vs Defeated (ND and Tennessee)
Chance vs Fate (Montana and Texass)
Boring vs Rapture (Oregon and Indy)
Rich vs Poor (Tennessee for both)
Hate Cove vs Love Cove (Masshole and Maine)
Darkesville vs Lightville (West Virginia and THEE Ohio)
Push vs Pull Tight (ArKansas and BAMA)
Life vs Death Valley (Tennessee and Cali)

Tennessee wins with 5 mentions. Get your shit together you stupid state. Everyone else loses.

Click here to get to commenting

Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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yeah right

Holy shit.

We’ve been doing this DFO thing for ten years.

Ten fucking years.

I’ve got 2 more grandkids.

I’m going to hit up Ken Burns and see if we can get a PBS documentary

6
WCS

Three kids, one divorce, and one new lady friend
Completely new career move, and completely dried out, too.

5
Horatio Cornblower

I’m, um, I’m just pretty much over here stagnating.

3
WCS

yeah right gets younger as he ages. You just get whiter.

2
SonOfSpam

Both are true.

Me? Whiter, fatter, more liberal weirdly.

3
SonOfSpam

WOO STAGNATING!!!

1
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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2
ArmedandHammered

I think the tires were a little too sticky.

0
Mr. Ayo

That time estimate is seriously way too high. That’s a two day jaunt for me.

2
yeah right

I would call that “Ambitious.”

2
Mr. Ayo

So was this, but I did it.

https://vimeo.com/1018874170

Last edited 9 months ago by Mr. Ayo
2
BugEyedBoo

Just got back from the Clutch concert with my daughter. I enjoyed it, although it wouldn’t have been the setlist I would have picked. They only have about a hundred albums to choose from, though, and looking at previous setlists they can play any song off of any of them.

Had a great time. Some experiences:

  • My geezer ass was pretty much in the middle of the bell curve for that audience, age-wise.
  • Without a doubt, that was the homeliest concert audience I’ve ever seen. I mean, I’m no model, but… There was a guy in front of us, shaved bald with no teeth, that had what I thought was an orca tattooed on his head. It turned out that it was a tattoo of that moth on Silence of the Lambs. He had a Clutch logo tattooed on his back, which we got to see since he took his shirt off.
  • When the revolution happens we need to put Stubhub executives up against the wall. I bought General Admission tickets, then my wife talked me into upgrading to reserved seats (GA is stand on the floor unless you can get into one of the bleachers). Come 5:00, when the tickets were supposed to be available, and they say, “We don’t have the tickets we sold you. We’ll refund your money or give you GA tickets and a partial refund for the difference.” WTF? This isn’t rocket surgery, you either have a ticket or you don’t.
  • After the concert we were waiting for the missus to pick us up, and some old drunk guy starts hitting on my daughter right in front of me. I was getting ready to tell this motherfucker that he needs to go elsewhere, but I think he picked up on the vibe and wandered off.
6
yeah right

Sounds like a Clutch concert.

/ Sets off Low Commander signal

4
SonOfSpam

Being old at a concert rules/sucks.

It rules in that we’re still alive, sucks in many other ways.

1
WCS

I sincerely hope to get the chance to be the annoying dad at concert.

1
SonOfSpam

You will! You will be annoying to royalty!

0
yeah right

Ola amigos y amigas.

Fuck yes it’s Friday.

I’m watching part 2 of Shorsey and they’re coaching these kids and one of them Helicoptered. That’s being in the locker room and swinging your dick around like a helicopter.

I’ve never helicoptered and I don’t think I want to.

I never felt comfortable in locker rooms but my upbringing was as unique as yours.

Used to take PE first class because it was cool out and I didn’t have to shower with a full room of swinging dicks. Just put on deodorant and went to class.

Thanks Pops!

4
Horatio Cornblower

My daughter is a huge Shoresy fan. She was incensed that Maria didn’t jump all over Jack when he sang karaoke to her.

Me: OK, but she’s like 7 years older than him.

Daughter Cornblower: OK, yes, that would be creepy. BUT HE STILL GOT UP AND SANG TO HER!!

1
yeah right

But it was Alanis.

Right next to Shania and Celine.

1
Horatio Cornblower

“He’s got a lot of speed”

Well no shit; he went to ASU. He’s probably got herpes, too.

7
yeah right

Probably cooks it himself.

4
Horatio Cornblower

Emily Kaplan out here talking extremely knowledgeably about hockey while displaying not one but two forearm tattoos has me wondering if there’s a Mr. Kaplan.

1
Mr. Ayo

There is not. Please get in line behind me.

3
yeah right

Guys? There might be a gender conflict with your aspirations.

2
Mr. Ayo

True. But we should be lauded for not caring about the baldness* situation.

(*Ok, thinning hair as my mother said)

2
Horatio Cornblower

I’m happily married, so I will graciously defer.

/less than subtly backs his Subaru Outback out of the parking lot in full view of Ms. Kaplan

//hey, a girl has to shoot her shot

2
Horatio Cornblower

The Los Angeles Kings select “another D” to quote the ESPN announcer, and somewhere in Mississippi Deanna Favre throws down her drink and hollers “YOU CAN JUST DO THAT!?!?!?”

7
SonOfSpam

Like Ms Favre, the Kings really could use young D.

So it’s a boring pick, but it’s fine. Not sure what else you get at #31.

2
2Pack

Thanks Ayo! Lady number 9 looks chilly… I’d help with that. I had JLH all lined up to accompany me to Bezo’s wedding here but the pissed off locals blocked her flight from landing. That’s all true…

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5
Mr. Ayo

I appreciate your discerning opinion. She was second on my list.

3
2Pack

The first lady really gave some… Uhmmm… Stiff… Competition this week…

3
Mr. Ayo

She was third on my list, but first in our pants.

3
Horatio Cornblower

I would greatly appreciate it if Venice could go full Atlantis right in the middle of the Bezos nuptials. Sucks for the locals, of course, but

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4
2Pack

They are all disgusted. This is not classy like past years.

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2
Brocky

Yarl

Spoiler

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4
Jimbo

She’s going to need some SPF 10000.

5
Brocky

What if vampires can’t go into sunlight just because of paleness?

4
Horatio Cornblower

Wednesday Addams hits the beach!

2
Don T

Defeated, Tennessee. Quite, I’d say.
-sips strychnine mojito

2
SonOfSpam

Take me to another place
Take me to another land
Let me forget all that hurts me
Titans offense is so bland

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VCdJyOAQYM&list=RD6VCdJyOAQYM&start_radio=1&pp=ygUeYXJyZXN0ZWQgZGV2ZWxvcG1lbnQgdGVubmVzc2VloAcB

4
Horatio Cornblower

Such a great tune.

1
SonOfSpam

IT IS! Then they did, like, nothing.

0
Mr. Ayo

Oh right, Puerto Rico edition:

Salsipuedes: This translates to “Get out if you can,” and is said to be a fitting name for a small town.
Entrepiernas: Literally meaning “between the legs” or “crotch”.
Peor es nada: This translates to “worse is nothing,” similar to “better than nothing”. There’s a story that it came from a man who inherited land and said, “well, it’s better than nothing,”.
Las Coimas: Meaning “The bribes”.
Loquillo: This means “a little crazy” (diminutive of “loco”).
Rabo de Chivo: Translated as “Goat’s Tail”.
Mono Mojao’: Meaning “Wet Monkey”.
Matagordas: This can mean “Fat women killer”.
El Pescozón: Refers to a hit on the back of the head.
Puñal: Meaning “Dagger”.
La Paja: This translates to “The Wank”.
Jarro Sucio: Meaning “Dirty Jar”.
Nalga de Maco: Translates to “Frog’s Ass”.
La Teta: Meaning “The tit”.
Quijá Quieta: This translates to “Still Jaw”.
Bayamón: Known as “El pueblo del chicharrón,” which means “The town of deep fried pork skin”.
Cabo Rojo: Known as “Los mata con hacha,” meaning “The killers with machete”.
Ceiba: Known as “Los come sopa,” meaning “The Soup Eaters”.
Lajas: Known as “Los tira piedras,” meaning “The Stone Throwers”.
Maunabo: Known as “Los come jueyes,” meaning “The Blue Land Crab Eaters”.
Moca: Known as “Los vampiros,” meaning “Vampires”.

5
Don T

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4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So we’re watchng Grey’s Anatomy and one of the characters is like “I would do anything to save her life,” and I was thinking it would be cool if one of the doctors turned out to be the devil. Like, four seasons into the show, all of a sudden one of the characters turns out to be Satan incarnate and starts doing deals for patients’ souls. Then I realized that Riverdale totally would have – and did – do things like that all the time.

1
Horatio Cornblower

“So we’re watching Grey’s Anatomy”

and that’s where you lost me.

2
SonOfSpam

That’s definitely the beginning of a coming out story.

1
Mr. Ayo

The Ben RongRastName Biography

0
blaxabbath

Dear Black Inches,

I didn’t think it could happen to me but one day after watching Grey’s Anatomy, I took a walk to cool off (and maybe get a peek at a sexy neighbor) when I ran into the actor who played that character who was just in the hospital for having too much hot sex with an actor from a girls TV show he watches……

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean while walking our dog we do occasionally encounter an actress who is a series regular but so far no sexitimes.

Last edited 9 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

After that we watched KPOP Demon Hunters.

0
Brick Meathook

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7
WCS

Taking a dump in The Backrooms is dangerous.

0
Brick Meathook

Twenty-mule team hauling borax across Death Valley and the Mojave Desert, 1880s.

The team was made up of 18 mules and 2 horses (called “wheelers”). The team carried ten tons of borax on a rig composed of three vehicles: the trailer, the tender, and a water wagon. The teams travelled 165 miles over 10 days from the desert mines to the railhead at Mojave. The horses were bigger but the mules were smarter.

https://ibb.co/S4QxPW5M

5
Jimbo

Borax, Nice.

Nice
4
blaxabbath

That’s what I use when I make my own detergent at home.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Me, literally every night after 11:30

https://bsky.app/profile/jez1.bsky.social/post/3lskmdu34ak2o

2
Brick Meathook

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5
Jimbo

Here’s a weird one. According to Wikipedia

The city changed its name from Hot Springs[8] to Truth or Consequences as the result of a radio show contest. 

Truth-or-Consequences-sign
5
blaxabbath

Be more Oklahoman — for real, those people are so fucking obsessed with what is up with gays that literally named a place Gay.

I bet it was founded as a trap, originally.

6
Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/pj71PJmK

4
ballsofsteelandfury

I knew there was a reason I love France so much!

4
Horatio Cornblower

Damn near got killed in Rectum.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought between the Angels game on Monday and the soccer game at the Rose Bowl on Wednesday I had reached my weekly quota for goin’ places and doin’ stuff. But nope, tomorrow I gotta go to the stupid NHL Draft. I should take copious amounts of drugs but I’m too old for that shit, especially since it starts at 9 a.m.

2
SonOfSpam

Gotta?

Also…where it’s at?

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Those were my questions too

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Peacock Theater downtown.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m kind of feeling under the weather, but it’s an old friend who has to go for workish reasons and if *I* were in her shoes I wouldn’t want to go to this thing solo either. Also, my feet would hurt.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

OH YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME IT’S NOT EVEN THE FIRST ROUND!

1
Mr. Ayo

Yeah, that’s today. You’re not going to have a fun time.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. was like “just tell her you don’t want to get someone else sick” and I’m like “I don’t want to lie to her – I don’t care if I get anyone else sick.”

3
SonOfSpam

I saw Men At Work and UB40 there.

Like two years ago, when they were at their hottest.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Back when I used to review concerts for Popdose they sent us a couple of tickets for Joe Cocker. It was fine.

1
blaxabbath

botg?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d honestly rather do a Todd’s Surf Journal re: today’s session. I rode really well given the conditions and my lack of activity so far this year.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Someone tweeted “Watching your child get drafted by the Buffalo Sabres must be how parents felt seeing their kids drafted for Vietnam”

3
Unsurprised

I just wanted to share that I am a big fan of Elly Clutch.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m like that but for Kelly Monaco.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Unlike the good people at General Hospital, who fired her ass into the Sun.

1
Doktor Zymm

I wonder which amusingly named town the Ass family lives in?

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6
Mr. Ayo

Butte, Montana

4
Unsurprised

Jackson Hole

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Crested Butte, Colorado.

1
SonOfSpam

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4
blaxabbath

“Hey Sergeant! Get over here and look my Private Ass! Smoothly shaven, he’s smooth as a baby’s ass — I’m so proud of my Private Ass! You want to have a conversation with my Private Ass? Okay but don’t slap my Private Ass on his ass or his privates!!”

-This Dude’s Drill Instructor for 13-Weeks

4
blaxabbath

Also — the patriarch wearing a tie like some kind of respectable professional in the image is the utmost level of tonedeafness, as he jabs at his teenager, an apparent lazyass.

Last edited 9 months ago by blaxabbath
0
ballsofsteelandfury

#1 is #1 for a reason…

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Well, two…

2
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