Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
We have never owned an electric grouter and we look forward to the many happy memories it will provide.” “Nothing says ‘Christmas’ like grouting [in bed].
Gemma ( Severance)

not sure why one would need an electric grouter, nor why one would want to use it in bed.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I have to go to my SIL’s for a pool party today. We’re going to drink ourselves silly, eat too much, and get massages. My back is so knotted up, I’m looking forward to it. Behave yourselves while I’m gone, or I’m coming back with The Belt!
Gumbygirl

Non-holiday Monday pool party?


The jibs, I like the cut of them.
SonOfSpam

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Since all of yinz are early-rising peasants and took all of my picks, I’m just going to lurk, sulk, and throw in a few memes. Fuckers.

Gumbygirl

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I looked up the name of head of ad sales at the local conservative news talk channel. Then I incorporated it into my comments about Trump and all the other pedophiles banding together in their time of crisis. Now I’m banned from the site.

Guess I’ll have to get another fake email and start all over again….
blaxabbath

Pro tip: Don’t use TRUMPFUCKEDKIDS as your username this time.
BeefReeferLives

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Related to Spamson’s latest banner.

Redshirt

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July 21, 2025 7:23 pm
I’ve decided from now on to always wear a vest. Suit vest, sweater vest, golf vest, photo vest, reflective vest, utility vest, armored vest, gorilla vest, inflatable vest, vest vest, edible vest, it doesn’t matter. If it’s a vest I’m wearing it.

Brick turned into Mr. Burns so fast

SonOfSpam

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Ok, so Ozzy dying isn’t a shock, but WE’RE WAITING PATIENTLY FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
SonOfSpam

Ozzy’s going to Hell to raise an army.
Redshirt

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DFO: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the extended discussions of the taxonomy and habits of various insects.
Horatio Cornblower

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Thanks GTD, brightened my day. The wife has full blown COVID and I ain’t feeling too good myself. Feel like the only ball at a Chinese Ping Pong tournament.
ArmedandHammered

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Passport renewal time at the Consulate office

2Pack

And of course when your daughters want to shop… You go large.

2Pack

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I really hate to post this again, I’m just blue and lonely, folks. Ironically, at the PSAP, and surrounded by fellow night trolls. I miss my family.

It’s been a shit week: my buddy’s uncle, who also became my buddy, died two days ago. That was expected, kind of like Ozzy. Neither was a surprise, but it still sucks.
Princess and her mom aren’t even talking to each other right now, so her highness has been distracted. I haven’ seen Lil’ and Lil’er WCS in weeks, hopefully that changes this weekend. Dispatch training has been the definition of “up and down,” with more downs than ups this week so far.
I don’t know if I have anyone in my existence to vent this to, so unfortunately for yinz, it’s here. You’re cheaper than therapy, anyway 😉
EDIT: One of my fellow classmates from training is also leaving, and moving back to Silver Spring, MD. That also sucks; Brittany’s awesome, and a talented operator.

On the plus side, my parents got back safely from visiting my brother in Salt Lake City today. It’s also the old man’s birthday. So, that’s pretty good.

I haven’t felt like this for this long in years. I’m sorry to bitch. Thanks just for giving me somewhere to let this out. Sincerely, thanks everyone. Maybe I’ll be back to posting old and tired memes and whatnot tomorrow. Love yinz.
WCS

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Found a funny:

🍕

rockingdog

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Off-topic, best thing I saw about Ozzy’s death was a tweet that “somewhere Keith Richards pours himself another absinthe and Round-Up”
Horatio Cornblower

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One of the many things that has been keeping me awake at night got resolved today, YAY! My military ID was going to expire August 8th. I went on the website to make an appointment at every military installation between here and San Diego, nobody had appointments until well into September. And the website said I needed a CAC and an 1171 form signed by my sponsor. I have never heard of a CAC, and Gumby’s not up to signing forms anymore, at least not in this dimension. So I went into March Air Force Reserve base fully prepared to throw myself on the floor and sob, but a nice girl working there took pity on me and got my card for me. And changed my address in DEERs, which I’ve at least heard of, but have no idea what it stands for. I just know it’s important. This is the first military thing I’ve done since Gumby died that hasn’t been a ridiculous painful ordeal, it restored my faith in humanity a wee bit!
Gumbygirl

“I know where you live, and I WILL eat anything to attempt to garden”
Doktor Zymm

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So Buddy has lost 30 pounds over the past year and got all his levels under the “insulin patient in waiting” level.

Why I have been away is for good reasons, I realized how much I was using my phone to isolate and how much my life was going into the shitter as a result, so I do all my social media-ing now on my desktop and I feel amazing. I try to keep cell phone usage to under an hour each day and the freedom of not feeling like I am “on call” every waking moment.
I will say, you notice other people’s usage acutely when you do not use your phone as much.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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Hey, I found out how to reduce concussions in the NFL! Just in time for camp!

Doktor Zymm

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Ok, so I know nothing of Pokemon except:

a) Pikachu is the little yellow guy
2) It’s apparently short for “pocket monsters” (heh)

Do you get anything tangible for playing Pokemon Go? Rewards or anything? Or is it just fun and exercise and what have you?
SonOfSpam

“Sigh. Okay, better put some Mountain Dew on ice, because this is going to take all night.” – Eli Manning, preparing to educate you
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Okay, I’m back. Anyone else die while I was out?
Redshirt

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I can’t believe this was his last post!

Lmao!

rockingdog

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Big meeting today. I hate big meetings on a Friday afternoon. Can’t you get this shit together by Thursday for cryin out loud?

2Pack

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In other Beerguy news, the steaks are done.

Beerguyrob


Update – perfect.

Beerguyrob

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The older we get (those of us in the Gen X category), the more we should be respectful of people dying, yet I’m on the opposite track. Shitty person dies? Fine, world’s a better place. I don’t think that’s how we’re supposed to feel.

The point is, live your life such that people don’t openly celebrate your death.

Or maybe the point is, be an asshole and don’t care about what people think.

Or maybe it’s just

SonOfSpam

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A coworker was telling me he’s going to retire and move to Corpus Crispy, I didn’t want to correct him cus Corpus Crispy does sound funnier.
Jimbo

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Lil’ and Lil’er WCS sound asleep while a documentary on the Balkan Wars of 1912-13 airs. We did arts, ate a lot, made plans, and watched TV earlier. We’ve got a fun couple days ahead with princess and Duke WCS tomorrow, and then a playdate Sunday. Or, the other-way-around, however it plays out. Regardless, the band’s back together for a weekend tour.

This is stuff I was missing earlier in the week.
WCS

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Home.

Safe.

Happy Friday folks!

I’ll be the guy over here lighting it up.
yeah right

Had a dinner party, cooked you marry me chicken and Deci said Uncle Dicks is better.

litre_cola

Savage little guy
BC Dick

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RIKKI: You know what would be nice?

OTHER RIKKI: A Manhattan?

RIKKI: That’s right! I think I’ll fix one up.

OTHER RIKKI: Just the one?

RIKKI: Yeah, I was planning on lifting weights in the morning so I don’t want to be hungover. One is plenty.

OTHER RIKKI: But…what about me?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Don T

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Balls and I visited Cole’s Restaurant in DTLA today.

It’s been in business for 117 years and it’s closing for good next week, so we paid tribute by dining at crosstown rival Philippe The Original.
Brick Meathook

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Jimbo

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2Pack

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Found a funny:

I was in the Home Depot and some little kid called me an Old Fart. So, if you’re missing a kid, he’s in the red LG dryer, Aisle 17.
Redshirt

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I just texted my stepson to check if he got to Idaho safely. He sent me this picture and said: “they’re aint shit here” and ” i wouldn’t live here for free”. lol

Jimbo

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Who was it around here that liked indie singers with shoulders?

ThurberHerder


I’m new here but I think I know this.

Jimbo

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National Cowboy Day?

/This is also an apt description of the Dallas Cowboy’s future, especially after that epic rant from Ol’ Double J this preseason.
Horatio Cornblower

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I have no idea what to do right now. My pops is in the advanced stages of colon cancer. He’s going in for surgery Tuesday to get a bag installed. Purely for quality of life reasons, the tumor is too big to remove and blockages are starting to occur. They tell him it’s so he can hopefully put some weight back on so he can tolerate chemo again, but none of the drugs they’ve given him in two years have put a dent in it.

He’s been staying with me here in the city for his treatment days, usually three days, twice a month since he still lives in my childhood home two hours away. He’s been trying to fix the old place up, but it’s in some serious disrepair. He’s no longer in any condition to really do anything around the house. And he has so damn much stuff. Not quite a hoarder, and he’s surprisingly organized with it, but there’s a lot.

As his condition has worsened, those three day stints started to turn into a week. Then two. After his recovery this week, it’ll have been a month since he’s been home. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more powerless, trying to make sure he eats and drinks every day, and watching him waste away on my couch anyway (he refuses to sleep in a bed.) I drove him down there today so he could tell my 102 year old grandpa (fighting like hell to get out of a nursing home to be able to go back home after a fall) what’s going on. Just walking from the car to my grandpa’s room wiped my dad out. Our visit lasted about thirty seconds and my great aunt took one look at my dad for the first time in a month and burst into tears at how gaunt he’s become.

To top it off, my beloved future Duchess LaCross just had a malignant lump discovered during her last mammogram. And now she’s getting her lumpectomy in two weeks. She’s 2000 miles away, scared to death, and it’s killing me to not be able to be there for her. I don’t know what to do.

Seriously, fuck cancer.
Col. Duke LaCross

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Went down an interesting taxidermy rabbithole

Doktor Zymm

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bubba wallace winning a nascar race means your aunt and uncle on facebook are not having a good time tonight

so many hard Rs in anger
fleshwound_NPG

 

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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