¡Vamos peruanos! – Peru team preview.

litre_cola

litre_cola

Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia.
litre_cola

Latest posts by litre_cola (see all)

Hola morning people!

Let’s start off here, I know nothing of Peruvian football or footballers.

What do I know about Peru? They make Pisco which is a fermented grape alcohol that makes a Pisco Sour and is bloody delicious. They have that, and cocaine. I imagine every Peruvian party to be Pisco, fist-fighting and a lot of blow. Which brings me to a Christmas tradition in the Andes.

Do you not think that if we did this here that there would be less problems at the dinner table that night? Uncle Jim is already loaded and is spouting off some racist bullshit so you get to punch the hell out of each other. Respect.

There are a lot of alpacas in Peru however the national animal is the vicuña which is a smaller version

 

I can see your soul

Peruvians celebrate New Year’s by giving one another yellow underpants on New Year’s Eve to bring good luck in the coming year. It’s tradition to wear them inside out until midnight, then flip them around at the stroke of midnight.

These people know potatoes, there are 3000+ varieties.

As I have done for the World Cup previews, let’s take a look at the number one banger there right now.

Sech is Panamanian and he must have been cold in this video as he has a Balls size parka on at times. They are really into gold chains it seems. Final question is what the fuck is with the plushie in this video?

On to the football,

Soccer player Teófilo “El Nene” Cubillas is considered Peru’s greatest athlete. From 1966 to 1991, he played in 513 games and scored 303 goals. He received only one yellow card over the course of his career apparently, so he was soft.

The current team is ranked 21st in the world (I had no idea) and has a lot of guys who play in South America and Mexico which is to be expected. In reviewing the list I have no idea who any of these people are.

Who do they play?

Group A consists of Bolivia (63rd) so that seems doable. Venezuela (29th) which will be a battle. Finally Brazil (3rd) which should be a bloodbath, especially as it is in Sao Paolo.

Seems to me it all hinges on the Venezuelan game and if they win that they are through.

Pisco Sour recipe

2 oz Pisco
1 oz Fresh lime juice
12 oz Simple Syrup
1 Egg White
Bitters if you have them for garnish.
Put in shaker, shake the hell out of it, strain it over ice, add a dash of bitters.

 

 

Join the Women’s World Cup Pool, the footy is phenomenal and very little of the diving.

https://predictor.fifa.com/match/leaguejoin/da1fde69

League code: da1fde69

Nice work on game 1 Don T and Hippo.

 

Today is the DFO pub crawl, uggh, I shouldn’t be where I am,

litre_cola
litre_cola
A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse
Please Login to comment
97 Comment threads
113 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
17 Comment authors
DunstanKing HippoGame Time DecisionBrettFavresColonoscopyherodotus450 Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
King Hippo

I really am tired of absolutely everything in my life. Especially these whining, asshole kids.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yours or someone else’s?

Game Time Decision

Yes

King Hippo

mine at present, but tis a good, universal rule to have. NEVAR PROCREATE, PPL

Dunstan
Dunstan

It’s bad enough that I hear that from women

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Horatio, there’s a guy on this bar crawl wearing a Hartford Yard Goat baseball cap.

Blame Rikki.

King Hippo

CC Sabathia is still quite husky.

herodotus450
herodotus450

The CC stands for 200 in Roman Numerals. 200… kilograms.

herodotus450
herodotus450

You can have both teams, Hippo, I’ll take that linesmanperson.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The Pub Crawl has reached it’s capacity of 10. All the watchlists are going nuts right now.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Technically a gathering of more than 4 is considered a mob, idn’t it?

King Hippo

how many of the 10 already LITERALLY crawling?

King Hippo

Turkey are really fucking the Froggies up.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Eager to see which posters get banned from LA public transit today.

King Hippo

I got dibs on “70%”

herodotus450
herodotus450

Not as many blondes on this Norway team no offence

King Hippo

This was my “golden shirt” prediction, but I only had 2-0 to the Nordic Goddesses

King Hippo

by my official scoring, NGA has put 2 of the 3 goals in the back of the net.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

More good service in the box.

King Hippo

11 held her run really impressively there

/insert “patience in the box” joke

King Hippo

Lots of speedy, open play in this one. NGA being down 2-nil is hard luck.

King Hippo

in swarthier news, Eye-ties beating the Unspeakable Vice 3-nil in Euro qualifying

Wakezilla

So, are the guidos now young and good?

King Hippo

Guess so, be interesting to see if that ticks Serie A play up a notch, too. Missing the Putin Cup seems to have given them and the Dutch a needed kick in the arse.

King Hippo

NOR-NGA brings to mind that Public Enemy classic

King Hippo

Handball AND an OG. That’s…a defender’s worst nightmare.

King Hippo

Nicely done, Nordic goddesses!

/I bet $138 to win $100 on them (HT bet)

King Hippo

Norway also has a cute keeper. Unsure if she would beat the shit out of one after, ala Hope Solo.

Dunstan
Dunstan

I usually pay extra for that

scotchnaut

Stephen Miller thinks that Nigeria needs another ‘g’ in the country’s name.

King Hippo

I got Nordic #14 for this’un

King Hippo

If I ever ran a nation, I’d make “The Humpty Dance” our official anthem

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think I’m going to post up at musso and Frank’s and wait for the union station crew. Lmk if that’s dumber than a gop primary voter.

ballsofsteelandfury

We’re here!

King Hippo

are you also queer, and don’t want any more bears?

King Hippo

if y’all pubcrawlers run across any opium merchants, y’all let Hippo noe

scotchnaut

“Nideria! Nogay! Who yoo gant!”

-Drew Magary, a few months ago

King Hippo

Father and Mother say Nogay without hesitation

King Hippo

I also have money on Belarus v. Germany (HT and FT) beecause I am mentally deficient.

King Hippo

y’all, I cheated on mah diet with a bowl of white rice.

/Let’s see Unsurprised top THAT for saddest comment of the weekend

scotchnaut

“Thought I could count on you, but no. You’re just like all the rest.”

-Brown Rice

nomonkeyfun

The pub crawl hasn’t even started yet. I’m sure you will wind up at about 20th saddest.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is going to be like sleeping with hippies

King Hippo

shameful and just a little bit smelly?

scotchnaut

‘Dark Star’ plays softly in the background?

King Hippo

Litre now leads the pool, for reasons nobody understands

Wakezilla

I was just about to ask: how the hell are points allocated?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Winner, total goals, winning margin all factor in I think, as well as how many other people picked the same thing you did?

Wakezilla

Good write up Litre.

About the Peruvian video:

1) That kid in the coca field knows how to live life before he ultimately gets killed at 21 when associating himself in the wrong crowd.

2) Vice should be asking the coca leaf buyers why the fuck they aren’t paying those farmers more. Not cool, bros. Especially with that mark-up and hoarding of profits, we might as well call those drug lords Geofredo Bezos.

3)Wish I was in LA. Stupid Escuela

scotchnaut

All credit goes to South Africa for once again trying their best to delay the inevitable.

herodotus450
herodotus450

It’s just a myth that all women’s soccer players get their red cards at the same time.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Marta’s husband George really doesn’t like how close she seems to this “Hermosa” character.

scotchnaut

Spain looks desperate. Like, Andy Reid at a vegan restaurant-level desperate.

King Hippo

good call by the lineswoman

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

SonOfSpam and I waiting for the brewery to open, artist’s conception.
comment image

Game Time Decision

Its past 11:00 AM somewhere. Go ahead. Not judging; I’m jealous

herodotus450
herodotus450

The one white player for South Africa gets a yelelow card in the box… Nelson Mandella is mad and disappointed.

scotchnaut

Fuckstick!

King Hippo

dat Hippo GAMBLOR jinx is fierce

scotchnaut

I fucking love watching an out-matched team slowly gain confidence that they might be able to win. Doesn’t matter the sport.

King Hippo

it is especially awesome in Lesser Footy, though

King Hippo

South Africa has by far the cutest keeper (so far) this torneo

Fronkenshteen

You catch her giant smile after Spain hit the crossbar?

King Hippo

yeah, that was cool as fuck

scotchnaut

Background Singers: “Seoposenwe… Seoposenwe… Seoposenwe…Seoposenwe…”

Lead Singer: “In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…”

King Hippo

Don’t think Espana practiced any defensing

King Hippo

Finnish dude who just scored is a ded ringer for “The Guy” from High Maintenance

King Hippo

Look who it is getting inside the box!

/yes, I am less mature than the average 9-year old

herodotus450
herodotus450

Not a surprise that this Spain team can’t score, too many light touches in the box.

nomonkeyfun

-H. Weinstein

King Hippo

need Gail the Snail to get in there and just kinda mash it

Fronkenshteen

SA coach looks like an extremely unamused senior flight attendant.

King Hippo

yeah, I would not bitch at her about getting another pillow

scotchnaut

This is so spot-on the nose that I want to give it 5 pluses. Alas, I have but the one.

King Hippo

Fronk is dead-on!

King Hippo

she just gave a very animated “seat belt and oxygen mask” lecture

scotchnaut

“NO PEANUTS FOR YOU!”

scotchnaut

Halftime!: What the hell you reading?

I’m just 80 pages away from the end of Perdido Street Station and I’m beginning to understand why it was named such. There’s a story going on but there’s a great focus on the architecture, infrastructure, laneways, waterways, topography, climate and materials that constitute this imaginary city of New Crobuzon. Difficult but rewarding read. And weird as hell.

/next up is Please Kill Me-a verbal history of the punk music movement in the US

King Hippo

I am 31 pages into same!

King Hippo

(and this will NAE be a quick read, I can tell)

scotchnaut

I wanted to give up on this book early on but I’m glad I didn’t.

King Hippo

trying to figure a way to imagine this khepri chick as HAWT

scotchnaut

Have you seen her mandibles! The way they guide pieces of fruit into her maw! Totally sexy!

King Hippo

Spain’s women are just like Spain’s men – too much focus on being technically correct, not enough just go for the fucking goal already

scotchnaut

Is your bet for SA to win the game or to maintain lead to the half?

King Hippo

whole match, sadly

scotchnaut

SA’s speed in the open field is ridiculous-if it can just produce one more goal…

/and if the keeper can stand on her head
//and if bees swarmed the field

King Hippo

WHERE ARE MAH BEES!!??