Your Spit-Free (I hope) Sunday Night Football Open Thread

Hawking loogies seems to be a popular thing these days. Who knew?

To The Game!

Ravens/Bills:

-“Oh, Hi Mark!” Do you think Baltimorons have forgiven Andrews for his critical dropsy last time these two met? “No!” is probably the answer. What about that fumble? “NO!” once again, I’m sure.

-This is the fifth time that the last two MVP’s have met in a season opener. There’s a silly factoid for you and no, I don’t know who were the last combatants.

-The Bills are headed to their sixth straight division title this year. Has it really been that long since the Pats were relevant? Time flies when you’re having fun/not getting New England shoved down your throat.

-Allen has a 3-2 record vs the Ravens with 6 TD’s and a 91-157 completion record.

-Buffalo will be without difference-makers Tyler Bass and cb Tre’Davious White. Look for Lamar to pick on sixth round pick Dorian Strong who will likely take the latter’s place in the secondary.

-The Ravens will be lacking fullback (fullback?) Pat Ricard and their other tight end Isaiah Likely.

That’s it for me, I think this game speaks for itself.

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fleshwound_NPG

nfl script writers smack dab in the middle of their attitude era

Redshirt

Have we gone plaid bananacake?

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks that way

The Maestro

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Horatio Cornblower

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Doktor Zymm

Oh damn!

Gumbygirl

What the fuck? Crazytown

Horatio Cornblower

/Derrick Henry fumbles
//immediatley offers Henry in several dipshit trades
///is bad at fantasy football

WCS

SUDDENER CHANGE

fleshwound_NPG

wait, is it january already?!?!?

Redshirt

Holy shit.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Doktor Zymm

I love how Yahoo is like, “there is a 1% chance that any player could get any amount of negative points”

BugEyedBoo

5.4 x 10-44

Doktor Zymm

Extreme lack of rounding, lol

Brocky

I lost a match up last year when I had a 99% chance of winning.

I guess ESPN didnt figure on Jerry jeudy getting 200 yards in a Monday night game

Part of me is still mad about it

Horatio Cornblower

Miracle catch aside, which that was, maybe don’t get to the 20 and then take the first two downs to try to score TDs, leaving yourself 3rd and 10 and needing 16 points. Maybe work in a short pass in there.

Just a thought.

Brocky

Evening

I saw this earlier and I can’t stop laughing at it

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Gatoraids

Zardoz 2028

fleshwound_NPG

an old falcons fan reminiscing about the 1991 falcons running the run n shoot and cursing penix?

BugEyedBoo

.

Screenshot-2025-09-07-232108
Doktor Zymm

Nice catch! Fantasy notwithstanding I would prefer a Bills win

Horatio Cornblower

Holy shit what a catch.

Col. Duke LaCross

My squad might be the Ipswitch Town of the Freezer Vodka League system. Called up for a cup of coffee and immediately sent back down.

Last edited 5 months ago by Col. Duke LaCross
Gumbygirl

When we get to the end of the game, can someone post a screenshot of my game with Spam? I don’t think either of us has anyone tomorrow. I’m sure he beat me horrendously, but that’s only because of the autodrat, she excuses. Ha, autodrat indeed! Not fixing it, it ain’t wrong

Mr. Ayo

It wasn’t a rout, but you did lose.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I can do that now

1000018828
ballsofsteelandfury

Enlarge

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Gumbygirl

Thanks both of you!

litre_cola

It’s enhance if you have seen Super Troopers. Smh

Doktor Zymm

Neither of you have anyone in the Monday game so it’s set, very good game for having no team access!

litre_cola

Just got tripe tacos on the way home. So good.

Horatio Cornblower

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ballsofsteelandfury

Taco truck?

Gumbygirl

I roasted veggies ( sweet potato, carrots, asparagus) with some bacon. Drizzled with barbeque sauce and blue cheese dressing. Health food, practically. It was prettay good.

yeah right

Be sure to give compliments to the missus. That strawberry jam is magical.

Thanks and it was incredible hanging out with you this weekend.

Redshirt

How do these guys fall apart in January?

Mr. Ayo

Naturally. Quoth the Raven

Doktor Zymm

One day they won’t

Gatoraids

they flashback to September?

BeefReeferLives

“The Irrelevant Doink”

BeefReeferLives

Sounds like the title of an Edward Gorey book.

The Maestro

I think they’re going to send the National Guard into Orchard Park.

Redshirt

Baltimore Ravens 37 – US National Guard 31

WCS

Who here is willing to admit they either A.) Have Zay Flowers, likely making you quite pleased at this point,

OR

B.) Going against Zay Flowers, likely making you quite pleased to punch a window

Meanwhile, ¡Viva el rey Enrique!

AND,

HAIL SHANK’LOR

A lot happening right now.

Horatio Cornblower

I gots me a Derrick Henry, if that helps.

ballsofsteelandfury

Zymm has Flowers and Tractorcito.

I’m getting destroyed like Buffalo’s backfield.

Doktor Zymm

I gots Henry AND Flowers. Sorry Balls (nawt sorry)

Doktor Zymm

Can’t complain

Screenshot_20250907-195712
WCS

I suggest plugging your phone in.

NAWT A EUPHEMISM; it’s pretty low!

Doktor Zymm

It is, you can see the tiny lightning bolt

Gumbygirl

She lives on the edge!

Redshirt

Its still green. Still good.

Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ, who’s going to beat these guys?

fleshwound_NPG

January, again

Horatio Cornblower

The officials. The narrative. Goodell.

Mr. Ayo

TRACTORCITO!

The wagons have not been circled.

Mr. Ayo

The DOINKS will continue until morale improves.

Doktor Zymm

Hell yes! I got a yogurt parfait and Henry points!

ballsofsteelandfury

You’re destroying me now in Freezer Vodka. Game over.

Doktor Zymm

I was legit worried after that Bucky Irving TD, but Ratbirds did me real good

Horatio Cornblower

Lamar Jackson!! Derrick Henry!!!

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Gumbygirl

The white Juggernaut is not as good as the red. It’s kind of sour tasting, not in a good way. But it’s not horrible, so I will bravely push on!

Horatio Cornblower

The White Juggernaut is what Stephen Miller calls his penis.

/passes bleach all around

I am so, so, so, sorry for that.

Gumbygirl

His wife calls it ” not as good as Elmo’s”

// I think we need more bleach

Horatio Cornblower

/lifting jug of kerosene to mouth

Oh we’re well past bleach!!!

Horatio Cornblower

My phone: ‘your bed time is set for 10:30’

Me: “I WILL have a third beer. Thank you!”

Gumbygirl

The guy runs for 52 yards, and Collinsworth sez it was “all Josh Allen”. It’s almost like he wants to get buried in a grain silo!

BeefReeferLives

Good for you, LAMAR!

That was some bullshit. That fan had no business putting his hands on you & should be ejected.

WCS

Sitting at the PSAP, pulling out old eyelashes and eyebrows. I’ve always found this weirdly rewarding and fun.

No, I don’t understand why anyone willingly spends any amount of time with me, either.

BeefReeferLives

Well, as long as we’re making depilatory confessions, I’ve taken to pulling out ear hairs in my dotage.

The Maestro

Bills just got Nuked.

Redshirt

Welp, I guess they did get the MVP wrong.

fleshwound_NPG

buffalo burning down that stadium might be the best offseason move in the nfl next season

Doktor Zymm

My Lyft has Bohemian Rhapsody on and it is glorious

Sharkbait

PLEASE tell me you did this

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Horatio Cornblower

‘Fat-Bottomed Girls’ is their best song, and I’ll die on that hill.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

Horatio Cornblower

Collinsworth naming half the Baltimore starting secondary and saying he doesn’t know what they’d do without them. No shit, chucklefuck, they’re two of the best players they have. “Aw gee, I wonder how Dallas would be without Dak and Cee Dee. Probably NAWT GREAT, what say you, Cris, you marble-mouthed fuckwit?”

Gumbygirl

Why won’t he do us all a favor and self-immolate?

ballsofsteelandfury

Because we touch ourselves

WCS

Three or more times, depending on the situation…

litre_cola

If it is a slow work from home day, correct.

Redshirt

“Throw in Cincinnati, too, a little bit.”

Well, fuck you, too, you two-time Super Bowl loser!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My understanding is that throwing in Cininnati is a dangerous proposition, given how many times Joe Burrow has been violently assaulted for attempting to do so.

Gatoraids

exciting game? bah I just want some garbage Mark Andrews points so I can goto sleep

litre_cola

Dok left, my DFO weekend is over, my liver rejoices.

Doktor Zymm

I’m still there and encouraging bad decisions in spirit! (sips some water and declines a free beer)

ballsofsteelandfury

Well, the Ravens bookended like I said. Game, Blouses.

Time to do something else.

Horatio Cornblower

SUDDEN CHANGE!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Not anymore

Horatio Cornblower

IT CAN CHANGE BACK!!!

BeefReeferLives

Everybody else in the AFC North watching this:

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ballsofsteelandfury

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Horatio Cornblower

Wow, that picture’s almost as large as Lana’s monstrous hands!

LemonJello

Johnny Bench called…

Horatio Cornblower

I laughed so hard the first time I saw that. I mean nearly crying.

Sharkbait

I’ll never not “plus 1” a Peanuts gif

Redshirt

Plan B:

wildcard-bitches-surprise
Jimbo

Wait, she loves what.

IMG_8566
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s right she does!

King Hippo

judges both of y’all in WASP

BeefReeferLives

Be sure to give her your card, then…

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Last edited 5 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

What is time, really?

LemonJello

A flat circle.

BeefReeferLives

“Relative. Lunchtime is doubly so.”
-D. Adams

Sharkbait

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fleshwound_NPG

lmao ravens trying to fuck off

Horatio Cornblower

Baltimore trying to run away there is absolutely hilarious.

Gatoraids

Lamar has the runs again

Horatio Cornblower

Love these Agentforce ads that imply Matthew McConaughey, a damn fine actor, is an absolute retard disaster when it comes to managing his day-to-day life.

fleshwound_NPG

ai requires a really dumb population to profit/exist

and guess what

Horatio Cornblower

A target rich environment indeed.

fleshwound_NPG

not giving it to henry to burn clock and possibly score

come on, harbs

King Hippo

Hand’s under it, that’s a good catch.

LemonJello

Looking more and more like Bondi Fetish Garden Noems will be 0-1 to start the season, unless the Vikings are all lost in a party boat accident on Lake Minnetonka…