Welcome back! It was kind of a perfect football day yesterday, enough competitive games and then that great finale. It’s always interesting to me to see old faces in new places and also to see how various rookies are being worked into their lineups. We also saw Micah Parsons rub salt into one of Jerry Jones festering open wounds, that was delightful! And of course on this very site we celebrated the return of Hippo Thoughts which is always a wonderful Monday morning pick-me-up. Let’s do another regular thing now…
Fallout:
-After being destroyed in their last two season openers 80+ something to -7 or so the Giants kept it (for them) close 21-6. So baby steps for them. If Russell continues with a few more sub .500 passing completion forays we’ll see Dart before he’s ready which seems to be like a Giants thing to do. Next week they’ve got the Cowboys and after that the Chiefs. Oh gawd, it’s going to be bad.
-Miami looks to be dead in the water. And decisions like signing perpetually injured Darren Waller have most everyone flummoxed. I was going to give him two games before he was to pull up lame but he never even made it to the gate.
-If you’re ready to bail on some of your fantasy selections already you could pick up a Danny Dimes, a Dylan Sampson, maybe Jacory Croskey-Merritt or even Quentin Johnson. (I don’t trust those hands yet though)
-I was happy to see that the Canadian Medical Association journal (in the form of an editorial) said something along these lines-“Jesus Christ, enough with the non-stop blitz of fucking gambling ads. Let’s develop some guidelines, please!” I wish more organizations would jump into the fray, it’s a bit ridiculous how many we are inundated with up here.
To The Game!
Vikings/Bears:
-Tonight we begin to find out what Ben Johnson can do with Caleb Williams. One quote by the former indicated that the offense and the QB are going to “grow together” which tells me that there are pieces Caleb hasn’t fully caught on to yet.
-As a matter of fact there are many questions swirling round both signal-callers in this tilt. I noticed that early in camp some of the reporters that follow the team pushed back on the narrative that McCarthy’s arm-strength wasn’t all that. Scribes carrying water for the team-I guess there’s compliant media beyond the political realm.
-The Bears o-line which gifted Williams with a league-leading 68 sacks has been tinkered with so we’ll see if he has a fighting chance this year.
-You’ll likely see a lot of D’Andre Swift this evening because Roschon is banged up and beyond him is Kyle Monangi, a 7th round draft pick this spring.
Enjoy what’s on offer.
Yeah, let’s focus on the QB who got bumped and not the WR who got a backbreaker.
“WR’s are a dime a dozen, fella”
-Pretty Much Everyone
“Here’s a dollar, give me ten dozen!” — Matt Millen
That was not a flag
That’s a lot of ouchie for one play!
White linebacker roughing a mixed race quarterback?
Somewhere nick bosa is smiling
The Supreme Court just overruled the roughing the passer call on the shadow docket.
Murder Ball!
Caleb Williams, USC QB
Watching Ben Johnson, I think underneath that hyperfocused look lies a mushy blame-deflector.
I guess JJ McCarthy was just getting his living room measured during the first half

He’s a lefty!
Nice Catch!
Wooo! game blouses.
Bears gonna Bear
So… Skol…?
whats gonna be a bigger waste of time and money this fall in chicago
-trumps deployment of the national guard
-the bears
McCarthy may have been exhumed.
JJ McCarthy: through puberty before our eyes
Ironically, ICE is useless to Chicago against Anglo-Saxons.
https://bsky.app/profile/jm539581.bsky.social/post/3lyepug7sgs2j
Sexuality is a fluid spectrum
Sigh. Jim Irsay died at the worst possible time.
Do they have “blank” AIs you can train on your own curated datasets?
Because it would be fun to teach one based on the site plus any media we all seem to like of whatever genre, and then have the AI be it’s own Kharacter and do comments.
“What am I, chopped liver?” — DJ 3000
I mean, if such a thing exists, I fully endorse calling it that.
Also…
DJ3000 is a dignified and classy gentleman, one definitely not raised by this site.
Theoretically yes, in some universe.
The Bearistocrats!
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1nc7xac/highlight_vikings_eric_wilson_partially_blocks/
New Dad character, but still same fisting of the same dog. In the asshole.
Chi**** is still going to win this. 24-23.
.
Welp.
Just crushing it with these predictions Hippo.
The Bears offense is going to be cromulent if Williams can hit on just 5 of 10 crucial throws. They just haven’t had a guy that could do even that in forever. It’s a low bar that I think Caleb can clear.
I’m posting this again because of how relevant it is
https://bsky.app/profile/bradrobinson8.bsky.social/post/3lyepoobf7c27
Finally Odunze.*
*may cause deep remorse
Ask your doctor before starting odunze. Do not take odunze if you’re allergic to its ingredients.
(turns on TV; see 6-17 game) “Eh, this one’s in hand. I’ll check out Bill Murray.”
“That was nice. Let’s see the score.” (goes live) “Okay, I guess JJ McCarthy needed three quarters to kick in.”
His nickname should be “Shrooms”.
Hey, Hippo, fuck you
https://doorfliesopen.com/2025/09/08/your-monday-night-football-open-thread-21/comment-page-2/#comment-1248644
“They;d have to evacuate the tri-state area for Minny to score two TDs.”
if it helps, I was on the precipice of ekeing out 1-point FF win until Jones caught that TD (now I face the very real possibility of going 0-14)
I know the one it is, and I would feel bad if you didn’t also like the Cubs.*
*still feel a little bad, mind (because baseball is stupid)
La-di-dahs and Gennle-folk, YOUR CHICAGO BEARS
It’s hilarious that one missed FG has caused the Bears to completely melt down. Totally on brand.
Nice catch AA Ron.
WE HAS GAME WOOOO
Been bugging me, but I finally figured out who the dark-haired girl in “The Paper” ads is – the lesbian hotel manager from the Italy season of The White Lotus.
No foreskin in the game but curious how this turns out.
I knew I shouldn’t have watched Cocaine Bear this weekend…
Can’t wait to see how they Chicago this game away.
Bah GAWD, that’s the Bearsenschiesse Signal!!!!
Uy. Minny D seems to have gotten Red Bull and ammonia salts on the sidelines
What an egregious play call to leave it in the hands of a rookie QB (that’s what McCarthy is) on the 2 pointer rather than run it.
PROTIP: If the building you’re inside of has a strange, unfamiliar odor permeating throughout, and you and your roommates all feel nauseous, GET OUT OF THE BUILDING. DO NOT argue with the call-taker, or the responders.
Holy shit, people.
Also, what kind of play call and/or effort by the Vikes on that two-point try?
To their credit, the gas is clearly making them stupider
Major Winters concurs.
“I remember a time when gas wasn’t dangerous. It was sorta [waves fingers in the air] you know.”
-Mason Williams
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mREi_Bb85Sk&list=RDmREi_Bb85Sk&start_radio=1
I haven’t heard this in many years. That was nice!
That 2-pr conversion play developed slower than collective farming.
Well it’s a good thing missed field goals have never come back to bite either of these teams in the ass before
A touchdown? Offensive!
Wooo, just won my fantasy matchup!
The Vikes are BACK!
-Paris, 845 AD
C’mon Vikes. I took a Nic gum for you to keep this a game!
Being a bears fans is not trusting an 11 point lead against a near rookie qb who’s already thrown a pick six
And just shaking your head sadly when you’re right to be mistrustful
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
I predict “Him” is 33% Antonio Brown + Terrell Owens
they could put god at offensive coordinator and jesus at qb and the bears will still be totally dependent on defense and defense alone
Uf. Minny giving off the whiff of quit
That could be the park district’s fault