Footy Returns With A Vengeance

Or perhaps with a cabbage fart, who can really say in advance smgdh.

Arsenal and the Robins Hood kick off our footy morning (7:30, USA) with the big story being the big fat Forest owner ending his passive aggressive spat with Nuno, and replacing him with another big fat Greek bastard.  This one being the dude who just finished 17th with Spurs.  Oy vey.

Fulham and Leeds get TV coverage (10:00, NBC) over Everton/Villa and Sunderland/Palace because they really want you to buy Peacock premium.  Which Hippo has already done.

Spotlight Dance is a forgettable Spurs/Rum Ham tilt (12:30, NBC), followed by a jump back to USA for Beesus/Chelski at 3:00.  Pass, and hard pass.  Not with alternative sportsball options.

As to JV NFL, the day proffers the following:

Oregon (-28.5) at Northwestern (Noon, Fox)

On the plus side, make it snow’s beloved Mildcats have SUCH a body clock advantage.  On the other side…literally everything else.

Clemson (-3.5) at Georgia Tech (Noon, ESPN)

The Tiggers have done absolutely fuckshit to deserve being MOAR than a FG-favoUred away from Death Valley.  Other than not being Georgia Tech.

Wisconsn (+21.5) at Alabama (Noon, ABC)

Yeah, I’d guess Roll Damn Tide is likely still angry enough to throttle the Badgers.  Because boy howdy, are they bad.  But the GAMBLOR advice is – POUND THE UNDER.  No matter how low it seems.  Thinking this finishes sommet like 21-3.

Georgia (-3.5) at Tennessee (3:30, CBS)

Jawja tends to be the Vols’ kryptonite, pretty much eternally.  One suspects that Happy Appy transfer QB finally hits the wall today.  That said, should UT actually run out to a 2-score lead, I doubt UGA really has the kind of offense to play catch-up.

Southern California (-20.5) at Purdue (3:30, CBS)

One benefit to all these road favoUrites?  You know somebody is absolutely, positively going to end up blowing their own dicks off.  Might it be the Troi Boiz?  Lord, I woild NEVAR stop laughing…

Yinzburgh, But JV (-7.5) at West By God Virginia (3:30, ESPN)

I’m just here so I don’t get fined.  By WCS.  Who would be mighty crochety if we downplayed this whole Backyard Brawl just because Fuckers du Cousins lost to non-THEEEEEE Ohio.

South Florida (+17.5) at Miami-FL (4:30, CW)

I’m not sure this matchup is really good enough (can USF really get another scalp for the locker room wall?) to play hide and seek to find your local CW affiliate.  But the cheerleaders will be hot.