Have you set your lineups? Be sure to make that panic-y last minute adjustment, it’s going to pay off!
To The Games!
Giants/Cowboys:
Much like Jerrah’s breath this contest reeks…of a “Get Well” game for Dallas. Dak has won thirteen straight games against NY which is second only to Bob Griese’s run of 17 in a row vs the Bills from 1968-79. The timetable for a Dart Start is a meticulous process according to Daboll but my guess is that when All Pro tackle Andrew Thomas is fit to play is when the countdown starts in earnest.
Rams/Titans:
For those that keep track of such things, Nacua needs 12 grabs to match OBJ’s record of 206 catches in the first 30 games starting a career. Rook wr Elic Ayomanor looks to be the #2 man in the Titans receiving corps although he was only able to convert two of his seven targets. The good news for Ward? On the surface his 12-for-28 passing number doesn’t look as bad as it seems after coaches reviewed the games. And after all, it did come vs that nasty Denver D.
Jags/Bengals:
Travis Hunter’s split last week was 42 plays on offense and 6 on defense and Liam Coen says the latter will increase. Starting Etienne Jr. this week is a no-brainer because the Jags o-line can run block and Cincy gave up 25.1 fantasy points to the Browns motely crew of a backfield last week.
Browns/Ravens:
The sharp fellas in Vegas must think Cleveland is cooked given that 11.5 spread that I saw. Baltimore is 12-2 after a loss since 2022, second only to the Chiefs. Tight end Andrews should bounce back because as good as the Browns D is, they are exploitable at that spot.
Bills/Jets:
NY hasn’t scored more than 23 points against Buffalo in 12 straight tries. They are committed to running the ball and should have some success this time around given that DT Ed Oliver is sitting this one out. With Sauce on the other side expect Allen to pick on cb Brandon Stephens.
Pats/Fins:
It’s The Battle of the Two Not Very Good Teams! Although one seems to be ascending and the other is in dissension. Coach McDaniel noted last week that players abandoned their assignments and tried to make a play. That seems code for a lack of discipline to me.
Niners/Saints:
Pearsall should get all kinds of targets given the state of the receiving corps though they’ll come courtesy of one Mac Jones. Expect the game to be tight because Shanny Jr. is 16-25 when someone other than Purdy or Jimmy G is under center.
Bears/Lions:
Ben Johnson Revenge Narrative Even Though He Left On Good Terms shall be engaged? Johnson also mentioned that he wants to get rook rb Kyle Monangai more involved so get your waiver wire finger ready. Lions fans were grumbling about the offense just one week in. Lions fans? Expectations? It’s a topsy-turvy world out there.
Seahawks/Steelers:
Pitt hasn’t started 2-0 in back-to-back seasons since 2016-17. Despite the smallish 3.5 spread no one can see the Steelers losing to Darnold and a moribund Seattle squadoo. OC Art Smith was quite impressed with Kenny Gainwell in camp and was rewarded with a 7 rush 19 yard performance.
For those so inclined there’s a wee bit of footy as an appetizer-Burnley/Liverpool at 9am and Man Derby at 11:30. Enjoy your day.
GOD DAMMIT DARNOLD!
you may want to set a macro for that, 3 seasons of guaranteed moneys…
Hippo rubbing it in more than Kraft’s fave illegal immigrant.
Hahahahaha Fuck you, Dallas!
Yes!!!
I hate this fucking team.
Shanklor is feasting today
wellness check on Redshirt?
Mrs. Cola is nawt a pleased individual right now.
You know, Charlie Kirk kind of made some sense when you think of it.
This is RT is killing the Titans
Oh, Jets’ D, never stop Jesting!
Why do I play FF??? It just angers up the blood.
us menfolk are inherently self-destructive, just ride the wave!
Burrow is ankle ded.
My apologies, Redshirt.
COOKDOWN!
UCLA has fired coach DeShaun Foster
Not sure there is a better unit in the NFL than the VEP D-line. Unfortunately…everything else.
Prediction: Dallas pulls ahead due to an egregious cb error.
Bengals Defense (NSFW Artistic Interpretation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2y5MRdMKew&pp=ygUQY2FydG1hbiBzZWN1cml0eQ%3D%3D
Shitty Stillers, MOAR bullshit luck
Once again, Lamar! tosssing dimes to guys ain’t nobody heard of.
Calm thy titties. Josh Allen is back in.
That’s so #ThePauls
*sigh*
Welp, gonna go hit that bar now. These Seahawks are definitely causing me to drink.
Also, DOINK!
“What is Klint Kubiak’s offensive identity here?” is a phrase no real person has ever contemplated, Mark.
Dolphins attack back!
Not going to kink shame her…just yet. Is there more footage?
Ollie Gordon is getting the ball and running it up the gut. Do that every play. Full penetration and show it on TV! Let’s go!
Indelible Prickstains approve of this plan (even if he is on our bench)
Darnold throwing WAY too many hospital passes to his teammates.
Josh Allen out with what looks like a broken nose, Truth Biscuit is in.
KISS. THOSE. TITTIES!!!!
Eddie Piniero, still alive (but not for long)
Simple Minds addressed his status way back in ’85.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rA-O7PkRIcE&list=RDrA-O7PkRIcE&start_radio=1
la la la LA
They’re going to give Glen Powell an Oscar for playing a fugo, aren’t they?
Contain by #53 on the Rams was fucking pathetic.
When Jameis Winston has to reason and calm you down , you’ve reached a very low valley
Burrow, please don’t kill yourself. The O-Line doesn’t need any help.
If Rodgers dosnt like the horse collar sack then he shouldn’t be injecting Ivermectin
Lmao the Dolphins Defense is absolute garbage so far this season 🗑️ 🔥
I would like Ross to send Grier down to fire McDaniels during the halftime show, and then fire him on field as he is firing McDaniels and then set himself on fire.
or could sell tickets by leaving them on sidelines all season in a dunk tank or a pillory and have fans throw shit at them all game
It’s McDaniel-Gatoraids so unhinged he thinks there’s multiple of him.
At this point, we should be thinking tank. Don’t fire him or Grier. They’re doing a great job of tanking for us
Every time Q-aron gets slammed into the turf, an angel gets its wings
And an orphan gets a Measles shot.
49ers have Mac Jones as the QB?!?!
Wait, what???
Purdy is purdy ded.
The Bay Area Legend of White Mac, now available!
“Dogs don’t read the game intros” is my takeaway from this comment.
In a certain way Josh Allen reminds me of Marino in that I don’t think he’ll ever win a Super Bowl unless the GM pours a ton of resources into the defense.
Nice to see they spent the whole week ignoring prepping the run defence.
Bengals defense..does a good?!
Oh goody – Darnold’s first Geno-ception.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK6jKL2qWxo
Man City is up 3-0 on United. I can’t wait to check in on the Dolphins game to de-stress after that abomination of a game. . .
Giants O-liner Hudson has 4 straight penalties. WAFGJ*
*What A Fucking Giant Joke
dont worry DaBoll will keep him in.
OR Not…he got pulled
Sam Darnold everyone!
/starts checking Mel Kiper’s QB rankings
Update:
Jacksonville marched down the field for a Touchdown.
Burrow nearly got killed twice.
So…yep.
Fucking Dallas just let Giants convert a 3rd & 30
How can a backward pass be incomplete? That’s a fumble.
yeah, just bonkers
I agree. They challenged the wrong thing.
lions defense and the germans on the italian front have one thing in common:
they left rome wide open
lol go on DK, get yourself a few dumbfuck penalties