Your Week 2 Early Slate Open Thread

Have you set your lineups? Be sure to make that panic-y last minute adjustment, it’s going to pay off!

To The Games!

Giants/Cowboys:

Much like Jerrah’s breath this contest reeks…of a “Get Well” game for Dallas. Dak has won thirteen straight games against NY which is second only to Bob Griese’s run of 17 in a row vs the Bills from 1968-79. The timetable for a Dart Start is a meticulous process according to Daboll but my guess is that when All Pro tackle Andrew Thomas is fit to play is when the countdown starts in earnest.

Rams/Titans:

For those that keep track of such things, Nacua needs 12 grabs to match OBJ’s record of 206 catches in the first 30 games starting a career. Rook wr Elic Ayomanor looks to be the #2 man in the Titans receiving corps although he was only able to convert two of his seven targets. The good news for Ward? On the surface his 12-for-28 passing number doesn’t look as bad as it seems after coaches reviewed the games. And after all, it did come vs that nasty Denver D.

Jags/Bengals:

Travis Hunter’s split last week was 42 plays on offense and 6 on defense and Liam Coen says the latter will increase. Starting Etienne Jr. this week is a no-brainer because the Jags o-line can run block and Cincy gave up 25.1 fantasy points to the Browns motely crew of a backfield last week.

Browns/Ravens:

The sharp fellas in Vegas must think Cleveland is cooked given that 11.5 spread that I saw. Baltimore is 12-2 after a loss since 2022, second only to the Chiefs. Tight end Andrews should bounce back because as good as the Browns D is, they are exploitable at that spot.

Bills/Jets:

NY hasn’t scored more than 23 points against Buffalo in 12 straight tries. They are committed to running the ball and should have some success this time around given that DT Ed Oliver is sitting this one out. With Sauce on the other side expect Allen to pick on cb Brandon Stephens.

Pats/Fins:

It’s The Battle of the Two Not Very Good Teams! Although one seems to be ascending and the other is in dissension. Coach McDaniel noted last week that players abandoned their assignments and tried to make a play. That seems code for a lack of discipline to me.

Niners/Saints:

Pearsall should get all kinds of targets given the state of the receiving corps though they’ll come courtesy of one Mac Jones. Expect the game to be tight because Shanny Jr. is 16-25 when someone other than Purdy or Jimmy G is under center.

Bears/Lions:

Ben Johnson Revenge Narrative Even Though He Left On Good Terms shall be engaged? Johnson also mentioned that he wants to get rook rb Kyle Monangai more involved so get your waiver wire finger ready. Lions fans were grumbling about the offense just one week in. Lions fans? Expectations? It’s a topsy-turvy world out there.

Seahawks/Steelers:

Pitt hasn’t started 2-0 in back-to-back seasons since 2016-17. Despite the smallish 3.5 spread no one can see the Steelers losing to Darnold and a moribund Seattle squadoo. OC Art Smith was quite impressed with Kenny Gainwell in camp and was rewarded with a 7 rush 19 yard performance.

For those so inclined there’s a wee bit of footy as an appetizer-Burnley/Liverpool at 9am and Man Derby at 11:30. Enjoy your day.

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Mr. Ayo

GOD DAMMIT DARNOLD!

King Hippo

you may want to set a macro for that, 3 seasons of guaranteed moneys…

Beerguyrob

Hahahahaha Fuck you, Dallas!

litre_cola

Yes!!!

Spur

I hate this fucking team.

litre_cola

Shanklor is feasting today

King Hippo

wellness check on Redshirt?

litre_cola

Mrs. Cola is nawt a pleased individual right now.

Redshirt

You know, Charlie Kirk kind of made some sense when you think of it.

LemonJello

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Spur

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Don T

This is RT is killing the Titans

LemonJello

Oh, Jets’ D, never stop Jesting!

litre_cola

Why do I play FF??? It just angers up the blood.

King Hippo

us menfolk are inherently self-destructive, just ride the wave!

Redshirt

Burrow is ankle ded.

LemonJello

My apologies, Redshirt.

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Spur

UCLA has fired coach DeShaun Foster

King Hippo

Not sure there is a better unit in the NFL than the VEP D-line. Unfortunately…everything else.

Redshirt
King Hippo

Shitty Stillers, MOAR bullshit luck

Brocky

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King Hippo

Once again, Lamar! tosssing dimes to guys ain’t nobody heard of.

Redshirt

Calm thy titties. Josh Allen is back in.

King Hippo

That’s so #ThePauls

Brocky

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ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

Welp, gonna go hit that bar now. These Seahawks are definitely causing me to drink.

Beerguyrob

Also, DOINK!

Beerguyrob

“What is Klint Kubiak’s offensive identity here?” is a phrase no real person has ever contemplated, Mark.

Spur

Dolphins attack back!

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Wakezilla

Ollie Gordon is getting the ball and running it up the gut. Do that every play. Full penetration and show it on TV! Let’s go!

King Hippo

Indelible Prickstains approve of this plan (even if he is on our bench)

Beerguyrob

Darnold throwing WAY too many hospital passes to his teammates.

Last edited 5 months ago by Beerguyrob
clint greasewood

Josh Allen out with what looks like a broken nose, Truth Biscuit is in.

Spur

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King Hippo

KISS. THOSE. TITTIES!!!!

King Hippo

Eddie Piniero, still alive (but not for long)

King Hippo

la la la LA

Wakezilla

They’re going to give Glen Powell an Oscar for playing a fugo, aren’t they?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Contain by #53 on the Rams was fucking pathetic.

Spur

When Jameis Winston has to reason and calm you down , you’ve reached a very low valley

Redshirt

Burrow, please don’t kill yourself. The O-Line doesn’t need any help.

Spur

If Rodgers dosnt like the horse collar sack then he shouldn’t be injecting Ivermectin

rockingdog

Lmao the Dolphins Defense is absolute garbage so far this season 🗑️ 🔥

Gatoraids

I would like Ross to send Grier down to fire McDaniels during the halftime show, and then fire him on field as he is firing McDaniels and then set himself on fire.

Gatoraids

or could sell tickets by leaving them on sidelines all season in a dunk tank or a pillory and have fans throw shit at them all game

Wakezilla

At this point, we should be thinking tank. Don’t fire him or Grier. They’re doing a great job of tanking for us

King Hippo

Every time Q-aron gets slammed into the turf, an angel gets its wings

rockingdog

49ers have Mac Jones as the QB?!?!

Wait, what???

Redshirt

Purdy is purdy ded.

King Hippo

The Bay Area Legend of White Mac, now available!

Beerguyrob

Nice to see they spent the whole week ignoring prepping the run defence.

Redshirt

Bengals defense..does a good?!

Beerguyrob

Oh goody – Darnold’s first Geno-ception.

Spur
Wakezilla

Man City is up 3-0 on United. I can’t wait to check in on the Dolphins game to de-stress after that abomination of a game. . .

Spur

dont worry DaBoll will keep him in.

Spur

OR Not…he got pulled

ThePirateSloth

Sam Darnold everyone!

Beerguyrob

/starts checking Mel Kiper’s QB rankings

Redshirt

Update:

Jacksonville marched down the field for a Touchdown.

Burrow nearly got killed twice.

So…yep.

Spur

Fucking Dallas just let Giants convert a 3rd & 30

Mr. Ayo

How can a backward pass be incomplete? That’s a fumble.

King Hippo

yeah, just bonkers

Redshirt

I agree. They challenged the wrong thing.

fleshwound_NPG

lions defense and the germans on the italian front have one thing in common:

they left rome wide open

ThePirateSloth

lol go on DK, get yourself a few dumbfuck penalties