Have you set your lineups? Be sure to make that panic-y last minute adjustment, it’s going to pay off!
To The Games!
Giants/Cowboys:
Much like Jerrah’s breath this contest reeks…of a “Get Well” game for Dallas. Dak has won thirteen straight games against NY which is second only to Bob Griese’s run of 17 in a row vs the Bills from 1968-79. The timetable for a Dart Start is a meticulous process according to Daboll but my guess is that when All Pro tackle Andrew Thomas is fit to play is when the countdown starts in earnest.
Rams/Titans:
For those that keep track of such things, Nacua needs 12 grabs to match OBJ’s record of 206 catches in the first 30 games starting a career. Rook wr Elic Ayomanor looks to be the #2 man in the Titans receiving corps although he was only able to convert two of his seven targets. The good news for Ward? On the surface his 12-for-28 passing number doesn’t look as bad as it seems after coaches reviewed the games. And after all, it did come vs that nasty Denver D.
Jags/Bengals:
Travis Hunter’s split last week was 42 plays on offense and 6 on defense and Liam Coen says the latter will increase. Starting Etienne Jr. this week is a no-brainer because the Jags o-line can run block and Cincy gave up 25.1 fantasy points to the Browns motely crew of a backfield last week.
Browns/Ravens:
The sharp fellas in Vegas must think Cleveland is cooked given that 11.5 spread that I saw. Baltimore is 12-2 after a loss since 2022, second only to the Chiefs. Tight end Andrews should bounce back because as good as the Browns D is, they are exploitable at that spot.
Bills/Jets:
NY hasn’t scored more than 23 points against Buffalo in 12 straight tries. They are committed to running the ball and should have some success this time around given that DT Ed Oliver is sitting this one out. With Sauce on the other side expect Allen to pick on cb Brandon Stephens.
Pats/Fins:
It’s The Battle of the Two Not Very Good Teams! Although one seems to be ascending and the other is in dissension. Coach McDaniel noted last week that players abandoned their assignments and tried to make a play. That seems code for a lack of discipline to me.
Niners/Saints:
Pearsall should get all kinds of targets given the state of the receiving corps though they’ll come courtesy of one Mac Jones. Expect the game to be tight because Shanny Jr. is 16-25 when someone other than Purdy or Jimmy G is under center.
Bears/Lions:
Ben Johnson Revenge Narrative Even Though He Left On Good Terms shall be engaged? Johnson also mentioned that he wants to get rook rb Kyle Monangai more involved so get your waiver wire finger ready. Lions fans were grumbling about the offense just one week in. Lions fans? Expectations? It’s a topsy-turvy world out there.
Seahawks/Steelers:
Pitt hasn’t started 2-0 in back-to-back seasons since 2016-17. Despite the smallish 3.5 spread no one can see the Steelers losing to Darnold and a moribund Seattle squadoo. OC Art Smith was quite impressed with Kenny Gainwell in camp and was rewarded with a 7 rush 19 yard performance.
For those so inclined there’s a wee bit of footy as an appetizer-Burnley/Liverpool at 9am and Man Derby at 11:30. Enjoy your day.
If you’re wondering I do have Jake Ferguson on my FF team and I did bench him in favor of Hunter Henry this week.
Once again, and probably on a weekly basis, I am asking the “Ride the Float” ad to fuck right off.
Most surprising thing about the Giants blowing up that screen pass was that someone from UNC read something correctly.
Jags D making Browning look like an MVP for fucks sake.
What in the entire fuck 50 Cent?!? To Catch A Killer on FOX Nation?
TEE!
Just found out this is a real movie
But Bill Maher’s in it.
Barbeau only shows up at the end, btw.
I somehow knew you had already seen this.
Tell me they kill and eat Bill Maher.
VEP are dominating, losing 17-13
Watching the Cowboys play the Giants…
Yeah, that’s not good.
Wifey just gave away the foster dog that absolutely adored her. She’s not in a good place right now and is lashing out.
[puts on protective emotional clothing]
Is she playing O-line for the Giants? Because that would explain a lot.
Pfft! Her playing on the line? I’d finally bet the money line on the Giants.
Make up your own translation:
“That’s a really good Charlie Kirk impression, ma’am.”
“Thank you for phoning the Epstein residence. How May I direct your call?”
Tyreek beating coverages like they were his romantic partners.
Heh heh heh. NOW fitbaw started
I don’t know what the context of this is, but I will never not +1 Kermit freaking out.
Brewing QB controversy in Cinci????
Update: No, there is no QB controversy.
Well, I wouldn’t say that…
EAT SHIT QAARON!!
https://bsky.app/profile/benfiorucci.bsky.social/post/3lyswl2rths2l
He looks like the character the SVU detectives find because either he’s the victim or the suspect.
High quality booger sugar?
That’s like those ABC After School Specials where the honors student smokes one (1) marijuana and loses his mind.
[Miami Vice intro music intensifies]
Redshirt, following up on earlier, who’s a better quarterback:
Zombie Joe Burrow
Or A.j. Mccarron?
Let’s see, left toe? McCarron.
3rd and 5 and Dallas is playing 7 yards off the line of scrimmage.
Sure, OK, cool, makes sense.
Preseason MVP Mitchell Tinsley with the Touchdown.
Paul Dehner Jr.
@pauldehnerjr
It’s Week 2: Jake Browning to Mitchell Tinsley for a key touchdown. Just like you all had it.
Picking Dak Prescott as my QB1 is on me, but in my defense I did not realize that the Cowboys WR corps would be playing without hands this season.
And now he’s thrown an INT. Great, just fucking great.
WR Andrei Iosivas is the Emergency QB. Browning is still healthy but there’s still two quarters yet.
I think it is now fair to say that DHop is NAWT washed.
old man Hop still has one hell of a play per game it seems
Best of times, BLURST of times for Chi**** there
Joe Burrow has a tow owie.
Cincinnati Bengals on X: “QB Joe Burrow has a left toe injury. His return is questionable. https://t.co/QVb3X5hi4c” / X
Hope he’s back in the lineup (next week).
I want the Jags to win this game.
“ICE UP, SON!”
Wanna hear something pathetic? That float commercial is starting to grow on me.
This is what Q-aron’s presence does to ppl.
me too
We all float down here.
It’s very clearly meant to be ridiculous and over the top. I don’t think the people going out of their way to shit on it are the target demographic.
It’s for simple minded people.
Like my mom.
Bless her heart
For me, it’s because I like that Quad City DJ’s song.
Browning misfired. At least there the Reds.
OH MY GOD! (cries)
I see my thinking that Dallas would go 3-14 after the Parsons debacle may have been optimistic.
Who turned my camera on?
VPI has also fired their coach as well. Will we get a 3rd today? Daboll, maybe??
Cam Ward has to be this year’s ROY, right? How many first-year NFLers come into the league with the 2006 Stanley Cup also under their belts?
hurricanes legends cam ward and cam ward
Did I have the balls to start Tuten knowing that Bigsby had been traded? No, I did not.
FLAGGAKE and Zebra Convention here in Cincy
“Illegal Shift, declined. Illegal Forward Pass, accepted. Defensive Pass Interference, ignored. Two-Man Sack Race, optional. Cincinnati #9, doubtful.”
Cam Ward is my shepherd, what a 2-minute drive
DonT, light another candle, your Magnificent Tits may have found them a QB.
spunky team, they could win 6 or 7 this year, no foolin’
Burrow ded?
Does Cincy just save time and bury Burrow on the sideline?
Not a smart idea. With the chemicals in the Ohio River, it may result in a Pet Sematary situation.
Only mostly ded.
Anybody not wearing two million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day | TERMINATOR 2 – YouTube
Dr. Hippo says he will be out this game, questionable next week, then fine.
Then again, I am 2 pills in.
and somehow Dallas is only down 3.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!? 4 Flags – off setting
Ceedee Lamb just might have shit for brains.
HE MAY BE A DUMBASS, BUT HE’S MY GOTTDAMMED STAR OF A DUMBASS!!!! YEEEEeeeeeeeHHAAAWWwwwww I AM FUCKIN CRAZEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
ridiculous BLEERGH on the VEP
Just saw a CBS show called DMV. I know its a running joke with CBS making a show about a government agency set in some random city but man this jumping the shark and beating it with a dead horse.
Metcalf is gattdammed beast!
STILLERS GANTA SUPERBOWL?
Are you on ayawasca?
https://bsky.app/profile/fantasynflnews.bsky.social/post/3lyssqscre22f
giants hiring people from that Powerslap show
Ollie Gordon taking a respite from fly-fishing on The Andy Griffith Show, rushing for 8 yards vs the Pats.
(frantically looks up the Bengals Emergency QB for today’s game)
no caleb, arm punts are supposed to go even further than that
Bullshit flag, mind
TITANS SPECIAL TEAMS T—oh, flag 🤬
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, come on down!!
Burrow is walking well to the Locker Room. He wants to go back in but they won’t let him.
…and then he’s being helped. FML
At least it looks like “low ankle” – I was initially thinking he popped his Achilles
…well, thanks, Hippo. Here I was thinking Ankle Sprain and then you had to throw that scenario in my face.
there’s no way they let him walk off the pitch if “field tests” indicated Achilles
Mike Brown paid for this Training Staff.
FARE point
What a reta-…uh, Very Special Play by Darnold!