The Slow Demise of Megamind-A Thursday Evening Open Thread

I agree with Chris Simms that McDaniel is getting a bum deal and it should be GM Chris Grier that should be taking a fair amount of heat. Although I admit that this ball of “Fire McDaniel” is rolling downhill and there’s little to stop it.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-As if the tight end pickings weren’t skinny enough, now Tucker Kraft (the #1 fantasy guy at the spot) has tweaked a knee and his status is up in the air. If you are so affected, I’d suggest going out and getting some (Brenton) Strange.

-Welcome Back (non-Kotter division): The Commies are coming back to the city proper. As a Sens fan I understand fully what can happen when a combative, contrarian Melnyk-like owner is subtracted from a seemingly easy equation.

-Cardi B and Stefon Diggs have announced they’re expecting a child…to be on their doorstep during the early evening of October 31st. Anything for clicks, smgdh.

To The Game!

Fins/Bills:

-Tua Not Helping: That sexy offense from a very few years past is sputtering and his QBR reflects that. It’s 32nd in the league, ahead of only McCarthy and Ward. His Expected Points Per Dropback comes in at -0.12. I’ve been told that minuses are bad. (toxic relationships are an exception)

-Some doofus called rb Cook a “workhorse back” after he logged 21 carries last week. Both John Riggins and Earl Campbell tried to get out of their seats in protest but couldn’t quite pull it off.

-Them Bills are 11.5 faves in some places.

-That Fins D unit that finished 4th overall last year? Long gone. It’s been scored on in 13 of 15 possessions, excluding mercy kneel downs.

-The sharps in Vegas are doing an O/U of 50.5, so at least there’s that.

Do your blurst in the comments.

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Gumbygirl

Fuuuuuuuck, anybody but Cook.

Doktor Zymm

I do like the safety orange sleeves

Redshirt

Uh oh…

IMG_1950
Don T

Hey Beth, I still ❤️ U #Dignity

Redshirt

Ah, it’s gonna be one of THOSE Thursday Night Football games.

litre_cola

Better than Jags/Panthers.

Dunstan

Oh no, Dolphins, you’re not luring me in. I’ve been through this before. I know it’s the hope that kills you.

Redshirt

I’m in the “JB6 can lead us to the playoffs” group.

Give in to the hope. They won’t hurt you this time.

Doktor Zymm

My parlay almost lasted the full first half, lol

WCS

Remember: Stillers led Seattle at the half last week, too.

litre_cola

McDaniel in a fuck you guys moment. I hope this continues.

Gumbygirl

Waddledown!

Gumbygirl

.

1000007793
Gatoraids

Derek Carr applauds Tua on that pass

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Missed kick? THE DOLPHINS ARE STILL IN THIS THING!

King Hippo

They want me to stay up past HT, but still not gonna.

blaxabbath

Take AWAKE pills.

Yellow Tops, I believe they ate called on. GoodRX.

fleshwound_NPG

hard SHANK’LOR

Gatoraids

bills shoulda let Kincaid kick the FG

Gatoraids

Dolphins defense just falling back on the ole workmans comp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv43UsG6fhY

Redshirt

I see things are returning to normal. On the football field I mean. Everything else is batshit crazy that is looking more like the Book of Revelation every day.

Doktor Zymm

Josh Allen is kinda like if you took TEH BEN, added 30 IQ points, and got rid of all the rapey bits. And made his dick nawt grey.

King Hippo

That’s really…about exactly it!

fleshwound_NPG

also move at 1.5x speed

Doktor Zymm
Gumbygirl

.

1000007792
Gatoraids

my “recent” fave

A QA engineer walks into a bar and orders a beer.

She orders 2 beers.
She orders 0 beers.
She orders -1 beers.
She orders a lizard.
She orders a NULLPTR.
She tries to leave without paying.

Satisfied, she declares the bar ready for business. The first customer comes in an orders a beer. They finish their drink, and then ask where the bathroom is.
The bar explodes.

Bogdanski

Stefon voice “this joke has everything…”

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vooViW5M-co

BIG KICKER has become a threat!

Seriously, this guy is a good follow. He loves to talk all sports, but his specialty is weirdness, rare, and overlooked stories and histories of basically anything sports-related. Go went to the University of Idaho, and lives in Sacramento, loves cricket and Aussie rules. I recommend.

jjfozz

I feel like the Bills are a gigantic strap on dildo and the NFL is forcing them right down our throats, and into other orifices.

Redshirt

It helps if you go limp and depersonalize.

Gumbygirl

Lie back and think of England.

Doktor Zymm

Just nawt England’s teeth

King Hippo

I mean, y’all could have just BEAT EM week one, damnit

King Hippo

That white boy doing voodoo out there

jjfozz

They say timing is everything. Just ask the two obnoxious soccer moms who I crop dusted this evening at the perfect moment

Dunstan

That’s great hustle!

(considers slapping jjfozz on the ass, hard, thinks better of it)

Doktor Zymm

the NFL is far too much of a pansy-ass to openly call for the release of the Epstein files, so they’re doing this instead

jjfozz

My brothe rin lawe recommended Animal Kingdom to me and HOLEEEE SHIT. That’s a fucked up series. Also, Ellen Barkin has severe Joker mouth.

WCS

My BOURBLE sense is tingling…

jjfozz

It’s amazing. Watching family membrers go at one another over money, drugs, and power is a familiar feeling

King Hippo

You said drugs? Hippo be right there to help.

fleshwound_NPG

rin lawe sounds like a gen z star on some obscure netflix show that’s about to get big

herodotus450

Dalton Kincaid finally found his way out of Possum Lodge and made it to the NFL!

Doktor Zymm

Aw man, the O/U on Tua rushing yards was 1.5 and I almost took the over

King Hippo

I think in one these dumb ads, the joke should be the gecko trying to jerk off. But you know, short arms

jjfozz

Maybe he could rub up and down on a mushroom and trip at the same time?

King Hippo

Now this…THIS is a right proper ad man!

Doktor Zymm

How lame would it be to take some nice hallucinogens and your whole trip ends up being about insurance

jjfozz

Imagine running into Flo, with her gigantic mouth, while tripping. Not good.

fleshwound_NPG

the game so far, “like a girls trip to cancun there’s no D.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/1m4qzqi/elle_duncan_makes_an_inappropriate_joke_at_wnba/

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s what happens when you get vaccinated the morning of a game! Or any other day!” – RFK Jr.

Gatoraids

Tom Brady has made better tackling attempts than our CBs

King Hippo

LOLfins at least counter their piss-poor pass defense with a run defense that can only be described as theoretical in nature

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And about as credible a theory as the Earth being flat.

WCS

DO YORE RESERCH SHEEPEL AVANGE CHARLYIE

Horatio Cornblower

“Maybe thin that box out a little”

I’ll take “Things Not To Say To Your Wife About Her Personal Hygiene” for $1400, Ken.

Dunstan

“He can exploit the smallest of holes.”

Me too, Al. Me too.

WCS

“Debatable.”

— Deanna F., MS

King Hippo

Christ, I will be laughing about this for DAYS

WCS

Despite their ascendacy to Peak Bills form (always ALMOST good enough, but juuuuuust not), they somehow haven’t won in Miami since before Herr Orange’s first term.

Redshirt

(P/A) “Buffalo Bills, please report to the playing field. Thank you.”

Dunstan

Hmm. A stunning display of competence by Miami!

Jimbo

This is indeed a dark timeline.

fleshwound_NPG

perfect time for some tua turnovers next possessions

Gumbygirl

I’m pretty sure this is one of those apocalypse signs. Stop, Drop, and Roll everybody!

King Hippo

A truly underrated character

Horatio Cornblower

My bad. I took Buffalo’s defense in the Lowratio League and Buffalo in the eliminator challenge.

This one’s on me.

Redshirt

I also decided to be smart and not parlay stupid and took Buffalo at -12.5. My greed for $4.55 has doomed us all.

Mr. Ayo

Trying a new room for tonight’s slaughter

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King Hippo

Keep the sound low so the owners don’t chase yew out

ArmedandHammered

So jelly.

Unsurprised

Yeah, yeah. If Carhartt had to rely on working people, they’d have folded years ago.

herodotus450

Are we still pronouncing it like ‘tang o viola’ ?

Redshirt

I’m just relying on my speech impediment to get me out of saying his name correctly.

King Hippo

I was contemplating a Fat Albert/Mushmouth joke, but it kept coming out Das Raycess

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not like he’s going to know how to say it.

King Hippo

Just nabbed the Bearistocrats! 7th round pick/backup RB on Maths Is Hard waivers. I am TOTES beside myself with joy. Th’Andre Swift has bad hips and u noe they eventually put RB down when those go bad smgdh

King Hippo

Play scotchy this week and I really should just fucking surrender in advance. I mean, his lineup has actual STARTERS in it FFS

litre_cola

ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING INTRO SONGS.

King Hippo

I do not expect this fixture to be sound-worthy at any point. The Shield is lucky I pulled up Prime at all.

litre_cola

Optimus?

Doktor Zymm

There are many tasty things in the world and one of them is churros

litre_cola

Deciltre agrees. Any time is churro time.

Doktor Zymm

So good, even compared to other fried dough!

ArmedandHammered

And there are multiple types- ones filled with chocolate, ones filled with caramel, fruit filled ones, and all so good.

King Hippo

Charissa Thompson really does have excellent fashion sense, and that’s not just me being a pervert. Emphasis on JUST.

Doktor Zymm

And since they relaxed the commentator/owner rules he can still cheat today!

litre_cola

Circle of life

Unsurprised

GFDI

Even Bills fans can find love.

Doktor Zymm

Speaking of rather silly same game parlays, I’m in Chicago so I can play around a bit with the free money I’ve got in my MGM account. I apparently bet $5 on the under for the Commies/VEP opener back in August, forgot about the bet and won.

Doktor Zymm

Cromulent enough I think

Screensh_1
Doktor Zymm

Hm, I wonder if they’ll let me cash out for $2?

Dunstan

Hmm. My Dolphins are 0-2, and now playing on short rest. On the road. Against Buffalo.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Speaking of glue, is this the week that Tua gets sent off to the glue factory? See — there is suspense in tonight’s game!

Don T

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Redshirt

There is a precedent with Tua, Thursdays and Traumatic Brain Injuries.

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Last edited 7 months ago by Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY TUA TAGOVAILOA I CALL HIM BLAXABBATH BECAUSE HE IDENTIFIES AS HAWAIIAN BUT HAS YET TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE THE HANG TEN GESTURE PROPERLY.

Dunstan

THIS GUY TUA, I CALL HIM CHEUNG KA LONG, BECAUSE HE HAS MASTERED THE FENCING POSE

Unsurprised

Chicken(of the sea)wire fencing

King Hippo

In FARENESS, this pose was immediately preceded by STOP! Hammer time!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not to be confused with Krauthammer time.

King Hippo

RITE then u stop only lower half smgdh

ArmedandHammered

So fucking true.

Don T

Good evening. I can’t hate the country that birthed The Ramones. Now I wanna sniff some glue
moar 😵‍💫

King Hippo

I used to sing “Emma is…a punk rocker,,,nooooowwwwww” to my oldest child as a baby/toddler

Don T

🥰

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ha ha, I used to play The Ramones when interacting with my kids too!” – Galu Tagovailoa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unvFK9I3vgc

King Hippo

ah mean, wut can you dooo-ooo?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve been told that minuses are bad. 

No no, you misheard. It’s Linuses that are bad. Constantly peddling that Great Pumpkin conspiracy theory nonsense smh

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Gumbygirl

I am the proud author/ thinker upper of the one true pumpkin theory. Here it is:

Gumbygirl’s Unified Theory of Pumpkins

There are only two (2) varieties of pumpkins. Berts and Ernies. Prove me wrong!

Redshirt

Dolphins ML? Does this better know something I don’t know or are they nuts?

IMG_1942
Doktor Zymm

Some people will bet on anything

Redshirt

Looks like they did what I did when I first started sports betting, going with the longest bets to try to hit a home run shot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What do you mean ‘some people’?” – Shohei Ohtani

blaxabbath

Let’s go DOL!

King Hippo

I am old. I am tired. A blowout suits my needs just fine, I shall go to bed at HT.

Redshirt

But…but…you’ll miss Kimmel’s replacement!

IMG_1944
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait…did the Babylon Bee just thumb its nose at conservative dogma? They should double down and do a bit about how Trump now identifies as “funny”.

Redshirt

Uncertain about alignment. From Facebook so Friends could be tilting my feed right.

IMG_1943
Last edited 7 months ago by Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah yes, that’s the Babylon Bee I’ve known and not laughed at for years.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not even sure what bits in this article are even an *attempt* to be funny:

https://babylonbee.com/news/paul-pelosi-claims-intruder-shouted-this-is-maga-country-while-throwing-hammers-at-him

Redshirt

Yeah, the best it’s gotten was a hybrid ha/huh.

Dunstan

The Bee is a weird simulacrum of humor. Like, you can usually recognize that there’s the structure of a joke in there, but no actually humorous content.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say 3 score game

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