Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Let’s do this.

Fallout:

-Nick Bosa and Najee Harris are done for the year and Ceedee Lamb looks like he’s out of commission for two fortnights.

-Don’t mess with the Cleveland D. Cincy got all of 46 rushing yards against them, Baltimore 43 and yesterday the Pack got 81.

-The 0-3 teams in the league consist of the Jets, Fins, Giants, Texans, Titans and Saints. I can see, maybe, possibly Houston getting to the playoffs if their offensive firepower returns but all the others are dead in the water and now the jockeying for a high pick in the draft commences.

-Listen to what some clown wrote recently, “DC Eberflus is intimately aware of all of Williams’ flaws so the gameplan should be easy-peasy to construct”. (it was me) Easy to construct, easy to destroy. Yesterday for the first time in his career Caleb was not sacked. Jerrah’s “rifling through the bargain bin” approach to the hiring of coaches has paid dividends again.

To The Game!

Lions/Ravens:

-Look out Goff! The Ravens have a sack in 57 straight games which you might guess is the current best streak.

-Ah, But: Goff’s pass protection is remarkable to this point. They are third-best in fewest pressures allowed, third in time for QB to throw and 4th in time for pressure to arrive.

-Under Harbaugh the Ravens are a gaudy 22-3 in prime time games.

-Everyone yaks about LaPorta but tight end Brock Wright came up with three catches and a TD last week.

-Baltimore’s run game is phenomenal and yet Lamar’s average pass completion to date is 13.2 yards. The Lions pass D is bottom 10 in EPA. Uh, oh.

Let’s go!

 

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Brocky

So that henry fumble caused the biggest shit talker in my league to lose. Opponet had the lions d and lions kicker, Losing the fumble is a four point swing, and the kick was four points. Dude lost by less than 6

WCS

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Bogdanski

Sorry Horatio, I take no pride in this win as all I did was sit on my ass and drink

Horatio Cornblower

That’s exactly what I did, yet somehow I lost. How is that fair!?!?

SonOfSpam

You may have been woke, go woke go broke.

WCS

Seven sacks for the Loins?
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Stillers (tied) lead the AFC North?
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Unsurprised

Having to call an onside kick is stupid bullshit.

Doktor Zymm

The stupidest, although it wouldn’t exactly be a surprise here in any case

Unsurprised

Offensive PI is also bullshit

WCS

This means the rest of MNF games are going to blow, huh? Dang it.

Doktor Zymm

At least next week I’ll get to watch one blow in person!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“We’re gonna do more that just watch the blow though, right? And maybe we should make it three or four, just to be safe.” – Jim Irsay

Beerguyrob

“Just one person?” – Sasha Grey

Redshirt

Is Lamar having a bad day or has he regressed?

Redshirt

Well this comment aged well.

Downfield Matriculator

Maybe he got into Fozz’s liquor cabinet before the game as the processing seems a bit slow tonight and he’s holding the ball like she’s the streakbuster formerly up in the banner!

Horatio Cornblower

Baltimore in general looked like a disorganized mess.

I expect that from Dallas, not the Ravens.

Doktor Zymm

That’s a bit harsh, they didn’t look anywhere near as bad as the Cowboys have

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas has set a pretty high bar in that respect.

Next week in Green Bay is going to be U-G-L-Y.
(that spells MOON)

WCS

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fleshwound_NPG

3rd and 26

NFL BLITZ

fleshwound_NPG

garbage time conversion!

Horatio Cornblower

Lamar!’s body language could be charitably described as awful

Brocky

Meanwhile, somewhere Tom brady breaks a tablet in frustration.

And somewhere Chris Collinsworth is praising him for it

Doktor Zymm

I think Baltimore is trying to get January over with in September

Downfield Matriculator

Well By God I have been allowed loginininininin at last. And the Lions end it — you guys will just have to believe I left a half dozen witty comments in the thread; otherwise, I’ll have to bite your kneecaps

Unsurprised

Someone on Reddit said imagine if this uninjured D was around last winter.

fleshwound_NPG

first place quarterback!

aaron2
Redshirt

See what you’ve done Jacksonville?! And the Bengals Front Office?! And Karma?! And Me?!

Unsurprised

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Last edited 7 months ago by Unsurprised
Redshirt

Now all I need is a Garbage Time TD to Deandre Hopkins for $130 and we can wrap this thing up!

What? It worked for Gibbs’ four yards!

Unsurprised

I remember when Goff was a goke.

Doktor Zymm

and a jamoke!

Horatio Cornblower

Did I say Henry was toast? I

I meant the Ravens were toast.

Unsurprised

Burnt toast? Wha…¿?!!¡

WCS

Dan Campbell just dropped his 6493lb sack on the table for the rest of the NFL.
Great throw and catch from Baby Buster to the sun deity, of course.

Gumbygirl

That was nice.

Redshirt

You want to Go For It, but you gotta punt here. Defense is eating the Ravens’ O-lines’ lunch and Jackson is holding on to the ball like Gollum holds on to the One Ring.

Redshirt

But what do I know?

WCS

Why do you step out of bounds if you’re the Loins’ running back?!

Unsurprised

Lead in the water?

WCS

This. This is the correct response.

Redshirt

Probably going for the first down. If anything, the play design led him out of bounds.

Redshirt

4 yards from Gibbs for $30. Feed…THANK YOU!

Unsurprised

PeyPey must be overjoyed at Hutchinson’s sack work.

Redshirt

As a Bengals fan, that play was very familiar.

Redshirt

Peyton is trying to will the Ravens into a Touchdown drive.

ThePirateSloth

If you happen to pass thru Salem, OR, you have to get some pie from the Willamette Valley Pie, Co.

I just baked the small frozen cherry pie I had and gotdamn it is delicious.

SonOfSpam

Hopefully your pie was warm, and moist, and not too flaky.

Horatio Cornblower

It would be rude not to eat it.

SonOfSpam

“I would be amenable to that” was a great line.

ThePirateSloth

“I wasn’t sure you knew what amenable actually meant…”

Last edited 7 months ago by ThePirateSloth
Unsurprised

OSZ moved south?

Never tried it. I like Konditorei though.

WCS

Buster Buster immediately turns it into NFL BLITZ! with 4th and 21.

comment image

Field goal is nice, but this is how Bawlmer wins now.
31-30 BAL

WCS

I can’t math. Good thing!

Horatio Cornblower

Much as it would end any chance I have of a comeback here, if I’m Harbaugh Henry’s ass is sitting the next drive out.

Doktor Zymm

He’s gotta spend MOAR time practicing hugging

Unsurprised

YOU STUPID FUCK!

SonOfSpam

-Trump, the first time he did Melania (she was like 13) and she spoke Slovenian.

Unsurprised

I am a DT Truther. He’s a gay man who’s never actually fucked.

WCS

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“My bad, coach.”

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fleshwound_NPG

8 minutes away from aaron rodgers being a 1st place quarterback

Unsurprised

That recap makes me wonder if someone spiked Lamar’s Old Bay with benzos

fleshwound_NPG

good news ravens fans is that hes getting these fumbles out of the way before january

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Horatio Cornblower

Henry’s probably toast.

SonOfSpam

Yes, I’ll give you Trevor Lawrence for him, which is a great deal for you.

WCS

I know Baby Buster’s not exactly fleet of foot, but, he could have walked for a first down there.

WCS

Ice Stillers’ preseason officially got underway tonight. Ice Als take each squadron’s first preseason game, 2-1 in a shootout.

I can tell this gets your nips diamond hard.

litre_cola

How does this play into a Leafs Championship?

BeefReeferLives

Well, why don’t they just have laser sensors on the outside edge of each goalpost?

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Unsurprised

Did I miss anything?

Horatio Cornblower

Baltimore’s about to get the ball back with about 2 minutes left and down 35-24.

Doktor Zymm

The Manningcast only sorta pretends to watch the game and I’m okay with it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not. Football games aren’t usually this good.

Doktor Zymm

They do actual football talk during the end of drives

WCS

Wait until they decide to start streaming, and pick a Coors sponsorship. Drunk Pey-Pey, and they’ll give Coors Edge to Eli. Eli will still get shitcanned after half a bottle.

fleshwound_NPG

what a design

Horatio Cornblower

I need 3.5 points for the win.

Let’s see if Campbell remembers Jameson Williams exists, or if Harbaugh remembers that Baltimore was doing well when Henry was running the ball early.

WCS

Just like you drew up!

Bogdanski

I think the lions need to run and let the clock run down while ravens are going to go pass heavy

Horatio Cornblower

The Lions should do nothing but run; the Ravens have done squat to stop it.

And just as I say that Goff inexplicably throws one deep to no one, stopping the clock, then has to burn a time-out.

Brick Meathook

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BeefReeferLives

…and there’s “Lunatic Fringe”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s so much better that instead of a moment of silence for Charlie Kirk they’re doing a musical tribute.

WCS

Congrats to Dok on her latest lap around Sol.

May the sun god grant you all the fantasy points in honor.

Disembodied voice of Ron Howard: “Her opponent has St. Brown.”

Doktor Zymm

It’ll have to be next week, I’m a good candidate for lowest score in Freezer Vodka this week lol

Gumbygirl

Oh, I’m prettay sure I have that wrapped up.

Horatio Cornblower

Baltimore is kind of ass.

King Hippo

hey, you ‘member the terlet at Harry’s Pub…

Unsurprised

Their football team stinks, too.

litre_cola

Harbaugh has once again forgotten that Henry exists.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, they’ve gotten away from what makes them good and are trying to be too cute.

It’s not working.

fleshwound_NPG

someone from detroit loving germany?

*henry ford nods*

WCS

moar like jake BLATES amiright lol godblss

jjfozz

After that last series, i vomited all over the dog and i’m sober. fuck

herodotus450

Do you think at Easter diner Amon-Ra and Equinimeous St. Brown make fun of their brother, Hollywood, for not being a saint yet?

Unsurprised

But he’s a Dr.

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