Round The Second: The Usual Slate

Off we go.

To The Games!

Chargers/Giants:

Dart Start Day in New Jersey! Calloo Callay! Jaxon will see things (coverages and blitz packages) he’s never seen before and I hope one of them is not ghosts. At 3-0 the Chargers look formidable but aren’t a juggernaut just yet. The Giants will help them get there. It seems that Harbaugh has most pieces in place and it’s just a matter of time. #truthkhaki

Titans/Texans:

Houston better get their first win here or the season is a bust. A Lucy Pinder-sized bust.

Commies/Falcons:

Atlanta fixed their offensives woes by…firing Ike Hilliard the wr coach? C’mon! Daniels has been ruled out so Mariota gets the start. I can see this as being a run-heavy game as Bijan and the Commies committee get all kinds of action.

Saints/Bills:

Welcome to the Buffalo Massacre. The Bills are on 10 days rest and New Orleans are on their last legs. Prediction? Buffalo puts up a 40 spot and Truth Biscuit starts the 4th.

Eagles/Bucs:

If both Wirfs and Godwin make it back this is a helluva game. Baker has a big enough chip on his shoulder that I think he can pull this out in the last few seconds if it comes down to that. Here’s a record scratch for you-Tampa is 7-1 vs Philly in their last eight tilts.

Browns/Lions:

Detroit’s potent run game (rock) vs Cleveland’s daunting rush D. (scissors) Wait, wrong game. On paper this looks like a low-scoring tussle but sometimes these games go in the complete opposite direction. Is Judkins a thing? If he runs for 80+ yards today I think he is.

Panthers/Pats:

Carolina pulled off a stunner last week that told us just how bad a spot the Falcons are in. I don’t like saying it but it seems that New England is slowly improving and will make the steady crawl to a .500 record this year.

Do your thing.

 

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King Hippo

Ross Tucker makes Beth Mowins seem not THAT bad….

Horatio Cornblower

Last week Hunter Henry goes for 25 points while on my bench.

This week I start him, see that the Patriots are uo 28-6 and eagerly check my FF stats.

Where I find Hunter Henry has 1 catch for 8 yards.

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Last edited 6 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
King Hippo

He got stopped at the 3-inch line on that catch, too

Horatio Cornblower

“Boy if I had a nickel…”

D. Favre

Mr. Ayo

Henrydown! Better?

King Hippo

oof, we all get the DonT experience a bit, with 500s/Tits the only live wire…

King Hippo

Black Panthers setting up Fair Catch Free Kick??

Gumbygirl

Wooo, big kick Bucs!

Last edited 6 months ago by Gumbygirl
King Hippo

Can’t WRONG! on that one…

Don T

Me when Tennessee FINALLY can play a half without fucking up pathetically in O, D, ST, and penalties:

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Horatio Cornblower

Lowratio is asking that you kindly take his picture down.

Horatio Cornblower

You just don’t realize how much better the old Patriots uniforms were than the current unis until you see them back-to-back weeks. it’s just not close.

Mr. Ayo

They don’t call it the Big Easy Special for a reason ‘Aints.

LemonJello

This Rattler kid seems a little snakebit.

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently the key to Arsenal’s success is for me to turn off the TV and take the dog for a walk.

Mr. Ayo

They’re weren’t winning shit this year anyway. The important thing is Dart and he looks good.

Horatio Cornblower

They can use that high pick this year on a receiver to replace Nabors!

King Hippo

Plus you figure they get AT LEAST three Day Two picks for Charmslinger!

King Hippo

Daggumit, ah WARNED YEW about that thar monkey’s paw!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS FOOTBALL TEAM PLAYING AGAINST THE GIANTS I CALL THEM THE CHEAPEST PHONE ACCESSORY AVAILABLE ON TEMU BECAUSE THEY ARE SHITTY CHARGERS.

LemonJello

/femur drums rumble in the distance

LemonJello

Nabers knee went kablooey? The Northern Ontario Hobo Hotline will be humming with alerts and warnings to seek shelter tonight!

ArmedandHammered

find the nearest tin can on a string for more details and sightings

Gatoraids

Good to hear Pa Tomsula is bringing competition to the marketplace

ArmedandHammered

I think the train that Carolina ran last week is returning from to the station.

Mr. Ayo

NABERS DED.

King Hippo

Scotchnaut Reacts Reasonably

Gumbygirl

Of course he is, he’s the best player on my team.

Gatoraids

finally took Mr Rodgers up on that invitation to be his Naber

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– a note left by one of the McCoy children

Don T

Mm. TEN beating on Stroud. Mood: 🙂

ArmedandHammered

Did he say a players name as “Woody Marks”? If so, damn, still better than pecker tracks.

LemonJello

His nickname in high school was, unfortunately, “Skid.”

ArmedandHammered

I hope he stays clean – Track Marks is a hard name to come back from.

LemonJello

His younger sister was known for her academic prowess, she was known as “Book” Marks.

ArmedandHammered

Unfortunately his uncle Tooth Marks was a serial killer.

LemonJello

Was his wife the track & field athlete: Anya Marks?

fleshwound_NPG

THIS BUCS GAME LEMME TELL YA I CALL IT THE BILLBOARD CHARTS IN 1976 BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH FUCKIN EAGLES, MAN

dude-hate-eagles
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s crazy that Bijan Robinson chose to wear #7 for the Falcons. I don’t care how many times they claim they washed the uniform, I’d still be worried about catching herpes from it.

fleshwound_NPG

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LemonJello

SHANK’HLOR is not on the Panthers’ side today.

yeah right

Well fuck a diddly dee.

Nice seeing Dublin again.

Christ, I used to think Cousins held the ball too long.

This makes the decision to start McCarthy after the bye a lot easier.

Fun game though.

LemonJello

I HAVEN’T SEEN COMMANDERS HAVE THIS MUCH TROUBLE DEALING WITH PENIX SINCE THE REPEAL OF DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL!!!!

Don T

Make Tailhook great again!

Don T

Facemask to Stroud’s chest. God I love this sport

LemonJello

Mahhky Mahk in the fahkin’ owner’s suite with Kraft Singles today!?!

King Hippo

Think I’d pick Dan Quinn early, if choosing sides for a barroom brawl

Don T

He’s been through sheeet!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Oh, I’ve been through a sheet a few times too!” – Zach Wilson, reminiscing about his time at BYU

King Hippo

Looking like a fine day to be Vertically Enhanced!

even tho a little birdie tells me scotchy took Clippers du Merde in SurvivoUr, eh?

LemonJello

“Giants D” will never fail to get Deanna’s attention.

Brick Meathook

“They’re all over each other, a lot fingerprints, a lot of juice.”

Okay, then.

ArmedandHammered

Diddy Trial transcript reading?

Brick Meathook

LAC@NYG TV announcers talking about Dart and some other dude.

No it wasn’t gay at all.

King Hippo

Just gotta avoid any eye contact, and it;s KEWL.

King Hippo

fuckin’ or fightin’ it’s all teh same

LemonJello

THIS PATRIOTS SPECIAL TEAMS, I CALL THEM FORREST GUMP BECAUSE THEY JUST RUINED A BLACK PANTHER PARTY

King Hippo

BANNER NOMINEE

ArmedandHammered

I may be stoned, I am, but did that sound like Hell Hole by Spinal Tap as the last background music on RedZone,.

fleshwound_NPG

lol guess whos back in arkansas

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Lookin’ good!” – Al Davis

ArmedandHammered

Signs of MRSA?
A ginger that went out into sunlight without his phylactry?
Carpet burn?

BC Dick

I’m going with horse-dragging

ArmedandHammered

oh, did they lose their last game?

ArmedandHammered

I know – Rudolph the reindeers human form in the upcoming live adaptation by Disney, the neck brace is from when he got hit by a 18 wheeler when he was running from some vixen’s outraged father.

Horatio Cornblower

I just realized Dallas plays at 8 and I’ll be across the state at a concert and nowhere near a TV.

That is outstanding inadvertent planning by me, because that is going to be a snuff film.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What concert?

LemonJello

They Might Be Giants*

*Lowratio got to pick for his annual bonus

ArmedandHammered

He loves the song Particle Man.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He really enjoyed the Little Feat show last year.

Senor Weaselo

As did Rex Ryan

Horatio Cornblower

Reckless Kelly.

BC Dick

Hot damn, 5 games on tv and the Ryder cup.
I was up at 7:30 to watch the Dublin game but of course it’s not on tv. I don’t have my Wizzle subscription through Krandlestick

Horatio Cornblower

Is the US losing the Ryder Cup? I don’t follow golf, but I love when the US loses the Ryder Cup because is seems to piss off the worst sort of people.

Mr. Ayo

They’re losing bigly. Today is a mere formality and the US are losing EVERY match so far. Well, except for the one where there was an injury withdrawal. They split that one.

BC Dick

They are getting throughly clipped up the back of the head so far. 12-5 it stands right now

BC Dick

And losing in the US too, based on the incessant hooting and hollering from the crowds

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The US crowd has been astonishingly classless this year, even for us. Seems like a reflection of the culture.

Horatio Cornblower

Rome collapsed with more dignity.

ArmedandHammered

Golfers? Our own excepted of course.

Col. Duke LaCross

Thank you.

Horatio Cornblower

Col. Duke is, of course the epitome of class and grace, as our all DFOers.

/goes back to scrubbing blueberry pie off his T-shirt

Col. Duke LaCross

What’s going on there goes beyond losing. They’re getting annihilated.

Don T

Sack by… TEN?! 😃

Don T

Penalty.cristo… DIOS!1!!

ArmedandHammered

The Lions are God’s team? Hmmm, trials, tribulations, brief glimpses of the promised land, false prophets (qbs), and the stupid, irrational belief in the impossible. Makes sense.

Gatoraids

Dart celebration dance so bad the crew had to cut away from it

King Hippo

HIPS DON’T LIE!!!!!

ArmedandHammered

Shakir the masculine version of Shakira?

Gatoraids

Pressure washing done, cajun pork butt in the oven, no need for guilt til I watch Monday Night Football.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pressure washing done…

I keep telling you, a setting of “4” on the bidet is high as you should go. If that doesn’t get the job done, just take a shower.

ArmedandHammered

sometimes you need some pressure to remove the spackle

Don T

Ward will get sacked 5 times. By halftime.

Gatoraids

The Ayomancer bailing him out

Mr. Ayo

*No Relation

ArmedandHammered

by who? aren’t they playing an imaginary team conceived just to make brackets even?

Last edited 6 months ago by ArmedandHammered
Mr. Ayo

Picked the nonexistent team in survivor pool. Surely that won’t be an issue today.

BC Dick

I did the same. Didn’t want to waste Buffalo or the other good teams. 7 point favourite seemed like a lot. The bookies can’t be that wrong, right?

Mr. Ayo

They’re ahead! Call it!

BeefReeferLives

It’s funny, because Rodgers is old…

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Senor Weaselo

I see on the ESPN app “How Jaxson Dart should approach the game vs. the Chargers.” My advice?
https://youtu.be/t8bNrXHVRJs?si=kbGFBIkiG09AWZRs

fleshwound_NPG

holy crap, hou/ten is all i got for the early slate

holy shit why, indy area tv stations

fleshwound_NPG

aye, a pirates life for me

King Hippo

Whew, can finally turn to Heroic RedZone Muzak!

Gatoraids

id be okay if they hav banner ads non sound if theyd just start the damn music an hour earlier like they used

Beerguyrob

Okay, I officially think the CTE has caught up to Terry Bradshaw. He’s making even less sense than usual.

King Hippo

He’s basically a squirrel with vocal chords.

Gatoraids

hes advocating keeping Grier and McDaniel next year ?

Horatio Cornblower

Lee Corso’s in better shape.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “making less sense than usual” I heard “cents” and thought you were talking about Todd Marinovich’s rocky transition into the cashless economy

ArmedandHammered

Not as much change falling through the sewer grates I take it?

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