The bye weeks have kicked in so the Falcons, Bears, Steelers and Packers are lollygagging it.

To The Games!

Raiders/Colts:

Geno threw three picks last week-there’s just something about that Jets…what’s the opposite of magic? Indy’s tight end Warren has the most yards four games in of any rookie starting his career. Though the Colts have the fourth-most total points they’ve had some issues in the red zone, only converting on 47% of their chances.

Giants/Saints:

Did anyone take New York in Survivor? (snorts) At least the d-line is playing up to the hype-Abdul Carter, Kayvon and Burns have racked up an impressive 53 pressures so far. Here’s the best case scenario-the Giants enjoy their first and only two game winning streak of the season.

Cowboys/Jets:

Wadda ya do with these mooks that have but one win between them? As per the usual the Jets are their own worst enemy, leading everyone with six fumbles and ranking 7th with 40 penalties. We should see a ton of Dak! to Pickens today, otherwise the latter might start pouting as he is want to do.

Broncs/Eagles:

Whar A.J. Brown? He’s been held to 27 yards or fewer in three of four tilts. But Saquon has picked up the slack. What? He hasn’t rushed for 100 yards yet? Is Philly doing it with smoke and mirrors? J.K. Dobbins became the first Denver rb to run for 100+ yards in 38 games. Cooper DeJean isn’t a one-year wonder. YET!

Fins/Panthers:

Oh look-it’s the red-headed stepchild of Red Zone before us. Ugh.

Texans/Ravens:

Baltimore has a sparkling 13-2 record vs Houston. Ouch! Stroud puts up an average of just 7 points a game so far but could shake out of it today. This is not the Ravens D that you’ve grown accustomed to-they’re down six starters and Next Man Up is nowhere to be found. Lamar is out so Cooper Rush is in and the playbook will look much different. Why would you employ a backup that has none of the traits of the starter?

Have fun out there.

 

 

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LemonJello

THIS DALLAS TEAM, I CALL THEM THE AFGHAN MUJAHEDDIN BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST BLOWING THESE JETS UP

Fronkenshteen

Pretty sure that last .500s touchdown clinched the AFC North for the Steelers.

blaxabbath

The Jets defense really doesn’t play much defense

Doktor Zymm

Installed NFL+ on the parental tv so can watch Red Zone instead of cow/jets or Nevermore/Neverbeen

litre_cola

So the AFC North is A-Aron’s to lose now?

King Hippo

Ratbirds going into the season with COOPER RUSH as their #2 was just criminally negligent

LemonJello

Is it Make-A-Derp Sunday?

Spur

Dallas gets a rare turnover.

clint greasewood

The Rattler Strikes
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King Hippo

Nix is just not prolific enough of a playmaker to be as loose with protecting the ball as he be

litre_cola

Spencer Rattler dealing.

King Hippo

naturally, Match of the Day is VEP/Saints

fleshwound_NPG

your weekly reminder:

GENOCEPTION

Gatoraids

taking duties as Arm Punter

LemonJello

oh, Geno…

King Hippo

Shouldn’t the Shield have a EBUG-equivalent kicker in the building? Like, some asshole who kicked both ways in 1-AA

Wakezilla

A kicker that goes both ways? Excluding Vance, nobody is allowed to be like that in Donald Trump’s America

Spur

Dallas GOT A SACK!!!!!

It’s the End Times!

fleshwound_NPG

a 2nd sanchez in indy has done a dumb thing in the past 24 hours now

fleshwound_NPG

or it wasnt kicked outta bounds

BLEERGH is kinda funny these last few minutes

Spur

Does Sauce Gardener want to come back to Dallas?

King Hippo

Sooooooo many LOLfin supporters in Charlotte today LMAO

Gatoraids

keeping that eye on the top draft pick prize, too bad they would still pick Arch with it

Wakezilla

There’s more LOLphins fans in Carolina than a regular game at Rockhard stadium

King Hippo

The LOLfins WERE on Charlotte TV lots growing up (they were the default “early NBC game” choice, to young Hippo’s chagrin)

Wakezilla

Same thing over here in Canadia. That’s why I’m a fan. Stupid Dan Marino

King Hippo

stupid SEXY Dan Marino!

/my sister liked them because dolphins are cute

Gumbygirl

I need them to stop with the fucking scoring, so my shitty Carolina running back gets yards. All of my running backs suck. They should have a telethon for them.

Doktor Zymm

So hard to find a decent cafecito that far north, smgdh

fleshwound_NPG

YEAR OF THE KICK BLOCK: PUNT EDITION

A Raiders Very Special Teams Production

Spur

Raider Punter is dead!

fleshwound_NPG

Colts Kicker Dead!

King Hippo

One team can no longer punt, the other can’t placement! That is some FUN S\HIT

Spur

Back up Punters time to shine

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LemonJello

Clots punter is headed to the glue factory as well.

Correction. It’s the kicker, too.

Last edited 6 months ago by LemonJello
Wakezilla

De’Von Achane, I call him Flipper, the way he jumped up to snag that ball

Gatoraids

as opposed to Grier our GM who we call that not for his talent flipping draft picks but for likely exposure to thalidomide ,Tylenol and other defects in the womb

Doktor Zymm

Hrm. On my parents’ tv the ‘last’ button pulls up a list and you have to select the channel to switch instead of just going to the pevious channel. Dislike.

King Hippo

Remote controls have gotten progressively worse, in my view. Too many ways to do accidentally annoying shit.

Gumbygirl

I recently figured out I have to hold the center ok button for a few seconds to go back to the last channel. I’ve had this tv for about four years.

Wakezilla

Jon Heyman covers MLB on the East Coast and hasn’t been to Toronto in 32 years? Is he a nepo hire, casting couch hire, or does he just know where the bodies are buried?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A casting couch hire? Ha ha, no, that’s ridiculous, don’t be absurd.” – JD Vance, looking around nervously

King Hippo

Hippo picked up and PLAYED Waller as my 2nd flex in Maths Is Hard. Hippo has NEVAR won playing the dreaded 2-TE alignment.

litre_cola

check your phone

Gatoraids

was tempted to do that in a 14 man league this week to do Ertz plus Andrews but resisted. good luck may the pills be with you

Wakezilla

“Came off waivers like a silent alarm,
Now I’m droppin’ touchdowns with tight-end charm.
Y’all stuck in the past, I’m the future stat,
While Hippo sittin’ pretty like “yeah, I did that.”

–Grandmaster Waller–

Spur

if Justin Fields cant complete a deep pass on this Dallas team he’s straight up ass.

Spur

Pity pass from Hurts to AJ.

Doktor Zymm

Fields just needs the portion of his brain that remembers everything he learned on the Bears to permanently hibernate

King Hippo

I think it would be #HallmarkCute if Breece Hall had two Dads (Brian and Reece, obvi)

King Hippo

He’s getting an open-mouthed kiss at the end, this week. Daboll is done playing by society’s rules!

Doktor Zymm

I think he was referring to last week’s awkward hug

litre_cola

So uncomfortable to watch.

Doktor Zymm

*nods*
-Tom Brady’s kid

Gumbygirl

He IS dreamy!

Last edited 6 months ago by Gumbygirl
King Hippo

I mean, it’s TOTES a justifiable man crush.

ArmedandHammered

Open up his hips is a directive I never want to hear in person.

King Hippo

I already want a nap. BADLY.

King Hippo

That = fumbre damnit

King Hippo

I AM ALWAYS WRONG ON THESE

Redshirt

I just hate it when the WR leaves the huddle alone while the QB is still giving the play. You may as well hold up a sign that say “WE’RE RUNNING THE BALL THIS PLAY!”

Spur

You wanna tell that to AJ Browns face?

litre_cola

I bet on him getting a td today or he will explode I reckon. Very much a diva.

blaxabbath

The kid and I just took out the golf cart for a spin. She seems to be in good shape to start the season. He’s washing it for me now. Thank goodness the used premium golf cart beige is a high floor/low ceiling edition. All electric too.

I see it is time I need to swap out the golf club back for one of those back facing seats. I was looking for anything else to do on it and it’s all street legal so, besides MoarPower, it’s good. This thing looks held together about as well as a lawn mower. Thus, I’m wondering if I can change out that back piece myself. I dunno. What do the cart boys in CT do?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[sniffs derisively] We don’t perform manual labor on our own vehicles, that much is for certain.

Doktor Zymm

Lightbulbs changed for my parents, nothing to do but watch the footballs until meeting a friend for bubble tea later

Spur

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, that’s awesome. Now I just need one that deals with smoke alarm batteries.

Spur

Jerry ahould pay ask some local Mafia Union members to take Eberflus on a nice jog around the swamp before the flight home

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t tell if my dog is barking at a deliver person or a squirrel. This would be so much easier if they would just let squirrels deliver packages like I’ve been suggesting.

ArmedandHammered

Like they can remember where to place packages.

Doktor Zymm

They would likely steal stuff too

ArmedandHammered

Like Kinderkin they would then forget they stole it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah but don’t you have the same problem with human minions?

Doktor Zymm

Nah, just my gypsy neighbors living up to their stereotype

ArmedandHammered

Acquistion made, first bowl smoked. The flower is shit, but I fortified it with some Kaviar.

Spur

Why are the Jets trying to run on the Dallas? Throw the ball, its the Dallas secondary.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seems like running is working just fine too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[Jets manages to lose three yards on a 2nd and goal rush]

…or not.

Redshirt

After passing up on a 3rd and Goal from the 1.

Redshirt

YouTubeTV Multiview Engaged!

King Hippo

6/4 split is maybe my ideal

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You’re talking scoops of ice cream vs bananas, right?” – Kelvin Benjamin

fleshwound_NPG

“we hope mark sanchez gets better”

what, you guys are gonna fire his ass

litre_cola

He fought a driver for a parking spot? He will be the next director of transportation for the Trump government.

Doktor Zymm

He’ll have to share a segregated office space and cafeteria table with Marco Rubio

Redshirt

He got drunk and had an unnecessary fight that he lost. If that doesn’t scream Undersecretary of War, I don’t know what does.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, the Cowboys-Jets game is on FOX? I thought the broadcast rights for these kinds of games were held by Comedy Central!

Redshirt

“We do comedies, not tragedies!”

Senor Weaselo

It’s Comedy Central owned by New Paramount.

Redshirt

When a Stoppable Force meets a Moveable Object.

Spur

Morning Folks.
What I miss?

King Hippo

1) Fuck
2) Shit

Gumbygirl

Everybody was talking shit about you, but I made them stop, because you’re my favorite.

Spur

Thanks Gumby!

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litre_cola

Went for a 1 C bike ride with Deci to get the exercise out of the way for the day and I missed Dakota Jesus comeback?

Gumbygirl

See what happens when you dad? Never play with your kids, they’re going to hate you when they grow up anyway!

Last edited 6 months ago by Gumbygirl
litre_cola

(I love cycling so it was more for me!)

Doktor Zymm

You didn’t cycle to the pub?

litre_cola

Nah, can have cheap food here and better wine. Redzone, and the Birds game!

Doktor Zymm

This is quite the dysentery shart of an early window

*Iggles/donks possible exception

Gumbygirl

Red zone it is!

Doktor Zymm

True!

NotShogunButShogun

The tie will not matter. Being the only one to lose to the Pauls will. And theflower might just lose a jorb for it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Last edited 6 months ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
WCS

When should I post the Stillers bye week and primer introduction pieces?

Gumbygirl

I think tomorrow, a couple of hours after Hippo thoughts, but before the MNF post. But you do you, baybee!

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