Hey, look what pops up when you type ‘sexy London’ into the googlerator! Wakey, wakey football nerds. We only have two more to go after this one-one in Germany and another in Spain. Let’s get at it.
To The Game!
Rams/Jags:
-At 4-2 Jax is showing some sort of cromulence but not on a consistent basis. So which team shows up? Is it the one that beat the Chiefs and Niners or the one that lost to the Bengals when the latter were at a low point?
-Davante should have a great outing because Nacua, the hogger of balls, is out of this tilt.
-The Rams are also 4-2 but their metrics look a great deal better than their opponent. Overall their defense is ranked fifth and the offense is eighth.
-That defense is led by linebackers Verse and Young-the former has 9 hits on the QB in just the last two weeks while Young has piled up 7 and a half sacks, ranking 2nd at this juncture of the season. By the way, Lawrence was taken to the ground seven times last time out.
-Believe it or don’t but somehow the Jags have a winning record overseas-they’re 7-6. (has it been that long already with these games being played on foreigner’s soil?)
-If you are a streamer of tight ends you may want to insert Higbee into your lineup. The Jags have allowed 13 catches, 190 yards and 2 TD’s to the position over the last three games.
I’ve the usual coffee, hot chocolate, alcoholic espresso going-what about thee?
Fattford with 5 TD’s and the leading receiver on the team doesn’t even have 50 yards. That’s the kind of ball distribution I failed at in college.
Has anyone ever seen Nate Bargatze and Anthony Campanile in the same room at the same time?
“When I said I wanted ‘two high safeties’ I wasn’t talking about weed, amirite?”
2 accepted penalties on the same play.
Who knew?
If only John McCain were still alive, to compare this fixture to North Vietnamese POW camp
Hey, the stick poking finally worked in garbage time!
Hunter with his first kill (TD). If he follows tradition, he’ll have to eat that DB’s heart.
I dunno, DBs usually have the rep of having hands of stone. You don’t want to get the strengths of the devoured DB if that’s what you get.
I’m thinking I might make pancakes.
Why do you hate waffles so much, Gumbygirl????
I looooove waffles! But pancakes are easier.
Fat guy like me made sure to have a pumpkin roll handy in times like these.
Do it!
that Ferguson kid looks a lot like Kevin the Broom
kudos to all y’all who started Fatty McGoo at quartered back
My wife has Fatty, Rammit D and Chase against by BFF and Mrs. Cola is up 80 already….
DOOR FLIES OPEN
“OH! I’VE JUST SPENT TEN DAYS IN THE CARIBBEAN AND BOY, IS MY LIVER TIRED!”
checks score
“Goddammit, Jaguras!”
DOOR FLIES SHUT
Since we have the term “Bourble” for when we over consume alcohol, we need a term for when we over consume the demon weed.
I submit “Crunkle” for group approval.
I plan on getting full on crunkle later today.
I also had a bagel. It was most adequate. Might I have a second? STAY TUNED!
(to no one’s surprise, the fat fuck had a second)
I see bagels as cream cheese delivery vectors…
Sweet => breakfast, savory => lunch.
Even before learning of my lactose intolerance, I have always eaten my bagels plain. This particular batch is cinnamon raisin, so already past-Flacco status
3rd and 23? NFL BLITZ!
Giants press conference
Reporter: “Cam, why do you wear 44?”
Giants Team Doctor: [whispering] “It’s his odds of getting concussed each game.”
Skatebo: “Because 2 4’s is 9 and that’s my lucky number.”
In the moments I have deigned to turn my eyes towards this game I think I have seen a net gain of 6 yards by both teams. I’m going to turn my attention back to my coffee and biscuits
Who’s winning? FanDuel has biscuits by 1.5.
Biscuits are slightly ahead at the moment, but coffee is just biding its time to make a run when it hits the perfect drinkable temperature.
Incidentally, why do people put honey in tea but nawt coffee?
Good question.
I had honey and milk in my breakfast tea and it was lovely.
HIPPO puts honey (and/or cinnamon) in his coffee, but only when feeling decadent. Or drinking Starbucks, that requires honey to cut the rough edges
Clove in coffee is a thing they do in Malta and it is GOOD
This game is like Boo from Super Mario Bros., when you turn towards it, it becomes scared and stops moving.
After 4 v-8s, Hippo has also moved to coffee
Ever since Trevor Lawrence got that extension, he has gone from Prison Girlfriend to Minimum Security Acquaintance.
I’m just here so I don’t get fined.
Actually have the game on this week
Already made breakfast and just sipping me coffee now
Have lacrosse and errands to run later, so prob miss most of the afternoon games
I think the reason that Skattebo has such great vision is because his eyes are on either side of his head…
That would’ve helped his neanderthal cousins when gathering and avoiding predators.
No wonder he runs so low to the ground, what with the weight of that noggin dragging him down.
The large nostrils are also idea for scooping up oxygen and promoting endurance
Just got in from doing errands-if Mumpfield is a tight end I’m going to have a tantrum. Hell, if he’s a real player I’ll have a conniption.
I can’t believe so many englishers are spending their teatime at this game
Maybe free tickets and cheap beer.
Not particularly cheap, although at least they have a bulk discount
https://www.sportscasting.com/uk/news/wembley-stadium-beer-prices-2025/
flips to Villa/Spurs at the commercial, in that 2 minutes…SOMMET ACTUALLY HAPPEN
Aww, give Rammit a break they have Parkinsons.
#19 was just jealous for his teammate scoring a touchdown.
Thieves steal ‘priceless’ jewelry from the Louvre in seven-minute raid | CNN
(runs in dressed in black, wearing gloves and a mask, frantically locks door and peeks out window)
(out of breath) “Bonjour. Comment se déroule le jeu jusqu’à présent?”
Ah, Monsieur Lupin, comment vas-tu?
Good thing they aren’t in Paris
Morning. Is this game as bad as it appears to be?
Now it is.
perhaps somehow even WORSE??
My dream broadcast booth team:
20 questions nominee
Guess I’ll get up for some Irish breakfast tea, toast and jam.
Last full day on American time for awhile.
hey, sommet ALMOST happened!!
Where the fuck is Kyren Williams? At tea?!
Stuck in the loo?
beans on toast for brekkie, y’all
Looks like Fat Matt is celebrating the Fall season by carving up the Jags secondary like it was a pumpkin…
I’m having nicotine gum. Maybe a fruit and nuts smoothie later, if feeling extremely enterprising
‘Sup? Some espresso & milk with a hit or three of ‘papaya cake’ indica should take the edge of this hangover off, me hopes…
Ah, I see Fat Matt has carved up the Jags for 1st blood. (watching a bit on delay)
…and the Empress of The Condo has deigned to join me on the sofa. I shall show my gratitude for her munificence with some salmon snax.
guh, some mornings it’s a real fookin’ drag, believing in the rules-based order
That must be rather difficult of late, especially as the republican members of the highest court of the land have decided that “rules-based order” can be shitcanned when it gets in the way of their plans.
I’m noticing a distinct lack of Kyren Williams so far. Did he forget to get on the plane?
Aaaaaaannnnnddddd there’s the text from my brother than he’s late.
Dammit, now the Sun will be too high and we’ll never make it through the Khumbu.
(pictured, not anywhere remotely near or like anywhere we’ll set foot today)
Moar Adams Fatthew!
he’s a disgusting fatty…but a GOOD listener!
Can this be worse than last week’s disasterpiece? Is Justin Fields anywhere near Europe?
Throw the ball to Jordan Whittington please. I know he looks like Gary Oldman in that ridiculous film, but he seems to get open underneath.
BLEEGH-kake on that PI call.
A veritable blizzard!
Buenas buenas… I’ve had the game on for a while, but was answering yesterday’s texts. Scoreboard:
✔️✔️ – 5
🤣 -3
/adds “To 👻” contact list – 2
LATAM meme – 1
/adds to spite Excel – 2
I’m just here so I don’t get fined, and until my brother shows up so we can do a hike that knocks off both the highest peak in Connecticut and the highest point in Connecticut, which are two different mountains and is probably a 10-12 mile hike.
Fortunately sherpas are cheap and expendable.
Samesies! Imma get high on the couch
Hero!
legit no idea who that dude is who just ruined the Jaguras’ clean sheet
Not out of bed yet but present!
I’m here. No caffeine, I’m white knuckling it.
Mornin’. Premier Protein, cafe latte flavour.
I’m tired.
Welcome to old, imaginary friend-o, it ain’t get no better.
“Black Diamond” in-stadium between kickoff and first drive. Suck it, Gene.
watching Bikini Beach Race from 1992. There’s been no racing but there’s been tons of scantily clad ladies so far. They also took some pages from the Nerds playbook and filmed naked women without them knowing
Aw crap, Ron Jeremy makes a brief appearance in this movie.
This is like when aliens watch our tv signals that shoot out into space… Apparently it takes 30 years for movies to get properly subtitled in french canadian and approuved for viewing up north.
I highly recommend 1981’s “Lunch Wagon”. It’s completely stupid, but there’s tits akimbo and live performances by Missing Persons.
caffeinated v-8 (black cherry varietal) with #1stPill
You are a V-8 stan aren’t you?
/shame pizza on the way later?
1) oh, VERY MUCH
2) stomach feels too dicey right now, but the heart wants what it wants
– Do the Jaguras get home field advantage?
– https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/46639866/colts-place-charvarius-ward-injured-reserve-concussion
And, seriously, the fucking sidelines have put two Clots on IR inside the same week.
– Somehow, the Clots have scored more points in their first three games this season than in any of the Battleship Manning years. That’s kind of remarkable. Loogit you, Danny Derps, acting like real quartered backs!
– Pretty cool for the Fightin’ Lowratios to prison-bitch BAWHSTAHN CAWLEDGE. Worst fan base in the old Big East. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
– Pitt beat Syracuse, and is now 5-2. WVU was nuked from orbit by UCF, and is now 2-5 (0-4). This will always be funny.
Dimes is my fantasy starter since LAMAR! took a shit. It’s an odd sensation for sure.
Was actually deciding this week whether to bench him in order to stream Sam Darnold this week. I decided against it because the analyst told me I should wait until next week to claim Sam Darnold, when he will be a “set-and-forget” QB1 for the rest of the season. That was when I backed away from the keyboard because I became convinced the CIA had soaked my keyboard with LSD-25.
I know I will get the Daniels/Dimebag decision wrong every week now.
Should have mentioned that if you feel like having a soccer wank, Totts and Aston Villa have the early start.