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Last One Up, Turn Off The Lights

scotchnaut

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To The Game!

Seahawks/Commies:

-Seattle’s got a one-trick pony that you must account for. Rook wr Tory Horton doesn’t get many targets per game but has scored a TD in three of four tilts that he’s played. And 55% of his routes are verticals. He opens up the middle for his buddy.

-That would be Smith-Njigba who leads the NFL with 819 yards-he’s got more than Chase despite playing one less game.

-The spread is 2.5 favoring the Seahawks and overall they’re 5-2 ATS so that looks inviting.

-Both teams have struggled to produce turnovers with Washington at -5 and Seattle at -4.

-Zach Ertz has picked up the slack what with McLaurin having injury troubles. The former has 27 catches and scored 4 TD’s already.

-There’s been no drop off in Darnold’s play-his completion rate of 68.2% is 10th among his peers.

Night night.

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WCS

There’s another Harbaugh?

1
Gumbygirl

Chonky Harbaugh

2
Redshirt

Incomplete pass? Knew it was a fluke. Bring in the backup!

1
WCS

I’d wish this being the last hours of Halloween weekend, with Daylight Savings, and a Stillers victory will take a lot of the piss out of the Yinzers tonight, but I know better.

You’re stuck with me again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r30WICIgC_s&t=955s

0
LemonJello

Later, Taters!

2
WCS

comment image

DUUUUVVVAAAALLLLLLL

3
fleshwound_NPG

imagine if this is your first time ever watching nfl football, you would swear sam darnold was the greatest quarterback in nfl history

6
Sharkbait

Just finished cleaning up from hosting some friends in the back yard for todays games. We have an Ooni pizza oven, but hardly make pizza with it. Today’s experiments were perfecting nachos, as well as French onion soup. Both great successes.

4
Gumbygirl

Hear me out- French onion nachos.

3
Sharkbait

comment image

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sounds like French Oonion Nachos …

1
Downfield Matriculator

Washington throwback uniforms apparently going back to the 1940 championship debacle against the Bears.

/yes I am old, but no I did not witness that personally — my grandfather did and told me about it (he was rooting for the Bears!).

5
Unsurprised

OH FUCK! I didn’t need to see that in slow-motion

0
Unsurprised

They only thing this T-Mobile ad makes me think, besides how everyone who’s even been affiliated with Deutsche Telekom should be drowned in Pepto bismol (I’m not checking that spelling), is how every hot, married actress is attached to a man who married way way WAY above their station, and how instead of being inspiring it is fucking depressing.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I don’t see a reason to keep watching. Night, all.

5
Doktor Zymm

Way ahead of ya! (ok, about 15 minutes ahead of you)

2
ThePirateSloth

comment image

3
Don T

/expands image
//puts phone sideways.
It’s a dude. Tch

2
Unsurprised

Doing the work white Americans won’t

0
fleshwound_NPG

of course washington are wearing their 1991 uniforms because that is the year the commies collapsed into ruin

2
Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!!

1
Unsurprised

It’s so weird that NBC is broadcasting Seattle on their Bye week, but they seem to be kicking ass against “nil.” So, good for them.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

AND ANOTHER ONE

3
LemonJello

comment image

4
Unsurprised

Quick reminder that there is a Spanish feed on the Peacock app with 100% more “Big Boy” comments by the big guy commentator.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
2
Don T

That’s my jam. En esta casa no entra Collinsworth.

5
Unsurprised

.

aay2r3
4
Unsurprised

The last time commies faced this kind of onslaught was when Operation Barbarosa was launched.

The difference here is that the Red Army crushed the Wehrmacht and had them on the back foot for the next four years.

2
fleshwound_NPG

and as awful as stalin’s purges were, they are nothing compared to whatever dan snyder did

5
Unsurprised

Stalin’s purges at least paved the way for new blood like Zhukov.

Snyder just ruined literally everything like Pol Pot (a U.S. ally …).

1
Don T

Snyder hunted down Bruce Allen, who must’ve left for México like Trotsky.

2
ThePirateSloth

comment image

4
Gumbygirl

Made it to the hotel finally. I have ginourmous cankles. Elevating my feet, watching the game, such as it is. Ass whooping!

Last edited 5 months ago by Gumbygirl
4
scotchnaut

Seahawks only had two receivers that were wide open on that last touchdown.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS SAM DARNOLD I CALL HIM SPECIAL DJ KHALED BECAUSE HE JUST THREW ANOTHER ONE! AND ANOTHER ONE!

5
fleshwound_NPG

commies should NEVER wear these unis after all the boomers are dead

the name and logo are gone, there will be nobody left to remember the gibbs era, and EVERYBODY will associate these with the snyder era

…which theyre definitely playing like it tonight

2
Unsurprised

I had a nice booze nap. So it feels like the 1950s waking up and wondering “Did the good guys win, or did the Chiefs win?”

0
Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

0
Doktor Zymm

For fuck’s sake

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lol Commanders are boned

1
Unsurprised

I know it’s because everyone is shameless now, but I like Dan Soder’s joke that there should be some disclaimer under these celebrity ads like “Ben Affleck isn’t paying Jen’s alimony” or “The Dude has an IRS lien” to justify this shit.

2
litre_cola

Special Sam is dicing up the Commie secondary.

6
LemonJello

THESE SEAHAWK RECEIVERS I CALL THEM THE BRITISH ARMY UNDER MAJOR GENERAL ROBERT ROSS IN 1812 BECAUSE THEY ARE BURNING THE DEFENSE OF WASHINGTON

5
Redshirt

Horton Hears Another Touchdown

4
fleshwound_NPG

a few days late, but jayden daniels’ donovan mcnabb halloween costume is lookin good

5
Doktor Zymm

Commercials need to stop being so goddamn loud, don’t advertisers realize that once I mute the 2% chance that I’m absorbing anything they say goes down to 0% plus extra spite?

7
Unsurprised

That the ad volume normalization bill didn’t have 100% support in Congress really says everything that needs to be said about those cretins.

1
herodotus450

Eh, you’ll come crawling back when you get diagnosed with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis and have no where else to turn!

6
fleshwound_NPG

yep, the commies luck from last year has run completely dry

3
Unsurprised

The nipples of Mother Hope have run dry.

1
LemonJello

Gimme alllll the Deebo points, pleaseandthankyou.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I’v showered, had dinner, and changed into pajama bottoms, a T-shirt, and a robe.

Now it’s time to kick back with the TV on mute, have some high-octane beers, and read the paper.

Like a fucking lady.

7
ballsofsteelandfury

Important DFO question:

Are pajama bottoms considered “pants”?

3
LemonJello

They’re formal wear in some Wal Marts.

4
yeah right

If they’re non constricting and don’t require a belt?

I give it the OK.

3
yeah right

Like sweat pants when the weather cools off.

2
Doktor Zymm

They’re a somewhat lesser evil

1
Unsurprised

Yes

1
Horatio Cornblower

I mean, I have an obvious conflict of interest here but I say that pajama bottoms are in no way pants.

0
fleshwound_NPG

fuck him forever

dan-snyder-onion
8
Unsurprised

There’s a Veep joke I want to make but I can’t.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Seattle’s throwbacks are so much better than their current kits.

7
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, I’ve done almost all the dishes, so I just need Rikki to come do my laundry and maybe run the vacuum.

11
Jimbo

Is run the vacuum a euphemism?

5
LemonJello

If you have any bamboo to be removed, you can order the Rikki-Triple.

7
Horatio Cornblower

I’m doing laundry right now, (whites, and not because I’m racist), and that’s not a euphemism.

3
Mr. Ayo

Whereas the Lowratio Tumble is definitely a euphemism.

5
Redshirt

How in the Hell isn’t that in Rally House?!

2
Redshirt

These uniforms…(chef’s kiss).

1
LemonJello

Let me be the first this November to say to you all:

SHUT UP COLLINSWORTH!

13
Redshirt

Firing up YouTube. If I hear Collinsworth after everything that’s happened, I may become a supervillain.

2
LemonJello

comment image

4
Don T

Just had the shame cheez dip. After the shame ice cream. Still waffling on further debasement.

6
litre_cola

Mmmm waffles.

5
Horatio Cornblower

Shame waffles!!

2
Doktor Zymm

French toast waffles?

3
Redshirt

I’ve had the shame ice cream, shame BBQ wings and shame egg nog. I’m now having the shame GatorLyte to warm up for the shameful thing I’ll be doing to the toilet around Halftime.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “debasement” I thought you were talking about what happened to Addison Barger during the bottom of the ninth inning of Game 6.

3
Gumbygirl

Debasement is where Horatio keeps DeLowratio.

6
ThePirateSloth

comment image

11
Don T

The look says “Hey”, the flat crotch “Hmmm…”

6
Doktor Zymm

Maybe it’s a lady bird!

3
Don T

That’s what I’m thinking. That color scheme allows for ZERO gender generalizations

4
Unsurprised

It’s the 2020s. Cloacal kisses for all.

0
Redshirt

Boring British Voiceover Voice: “The mating dance of the Northwestern North American Seahawk is a subtle yet deliberate attempt to attract a mate.

5
Unsurprised

I still don’t understand how white people get laid up here. It’s like everyone tries to be as un-appealing and off-putting as humanly possible.

Last edited 5 months ago by Unsurprised
0
BC Dick

So the JSN goalpost dunk was a flag and a fine but then they include it in the pregame song and dance highlight thing.

7
litre_cola

Remember Jack’d Up? CTE is fun.

5
Jimbo

Remember Jack’d Up?

-No. Trent Green

9
LemonJello

“Who’s Trent Green?”

-also Trent Green

9
BC Dick

I miss rock ‘em sock ‘em too

2
Redshirt

My God, those uniforms are perfect. Why did they go away. We just hated their logo. That’s how good these uniforms are; they made the logo tolerable. -ish.

3
Doktor Zymm

As to why they went away, good bet it’s for the same reason everything else went to hell for a couple decades, rhymes with Llan Spyder

4
fleshwound_NPG

everything dan snyder touched died

c-hox were very, very close in proximity to nike so of course their unis ended up becoming a bit obnoxious like their oregon duck cousins

1
Horatio Cornblower

A bit obnoxious? A bit?

I’ve thrown up meals that looked better.

1
fleshwound_NPG

guess im not gonna watch mnf on the basis of youtube/disney having a pissing match

*sees matchup*

what timing on their part!

0
Doktor Zymm

This could potentially be a really good game, but it’s in prime time so probably gonna be a FEST o’ CRAP.

Washington wearing some decent looking throwbacks at least!

4
Mr. Ayo

Sam is going to put on a very special display this evening. Bet Commies freely.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, at least the Chiefs lost.

7
WCS

Normally, I’d be peeing on the Bungles’ misery, but holy hell…

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You can mock the Raiders instead.

1
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