Upstate New York Vs. Urban Sprawl: Choose One

I don’t think the phrase “Why not both?” applies here. But it looks to be a good tilt.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-Mixon In Action: See what I did there? OOF! A non-football boo-boo to Joe’s leg in the offseason is shrouded in mystery and now he’s out for the year with no further details being offered. Organization-wise, that’s quality secret-keeping that you don’t see very often! It’s safe to say that his days as a Texan are numbered given that releasing him prior to his age 30 season will save 8.5 mil in cap monies. His next contract will probably be for Chubb change.

Not So Many Cooks: Brandin was a smart fella that asked for his release and the Saints granted it. Now he waits around to be a nice depth piece for a playoff team and should recoup some lost cash with playoff bonuses-is where I think his head is at.

-Lost In The Funhouse: It’s not often one gets to reference a novel by John Barth but here we are. I of course am talking about Shadeur Sanders and his experience with the Browns. He gets his first start this weekend after a whole four days practicing with the first team for the first time since that brief period last summer. The contempt that Stefanski is rumored to have for him seems evident to most outsiders. This is “Being Set Up To Fail” in real time.

To The Game!

Bills/Texans:

-At 5-5 Houston currently has a 30% chance of making the playoffs. With a win tonight the odds jump to 45%.

-Davis Mills gets his third straight start-t’was thought unlikely when he took over but he has two wins under his belt and has breathed new life into the team by being competent. He may have found his niche as a Tyrod Taylor type-the backup guy with starting experience that is effective in the short term.

-This has the potential to be interesting to the neutral observer in that this is a clash between the #1 overall offense and the #2 defense. I’ll leave it to you as to who is who.

-Rock Meets Hard Place: Ok, fine-I’ll spell it out. Allen, the owner of three rush TD’s last week faces a squadoo that has yet to allow a QB to cross the goal line.

-Buffalo’s pass-catching situation hasn’t been that great this year and now Kincaid, Samuel and Hardman are all out. Btw, though desperate at the position, Keon Coleman was a healthy scratch last week. What’s going on there? If you’re in the mood to stream a deep narcoleptic maybe check out Tyrell Shaver-he’s listed as a starting wr this week.

-Or maybe Gabe Davis-lifted off the practice squad-is more your type. That’s the guy that converted a 4 TD playoff performance into the theft of at least 24 million from the Jaguars. Nice work if you can get it, er, pull it off.

As you were.

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fleshwound_NPG

ah, now i know where houston got the idea for their unis

teenage me had strong wrists that week

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Really digging Houston’s new look.

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NotShogunButShogun

This game better settle down. Thanksgiving is next week. We’re only allowed one decent Thursday game!

Gumbygirl

The tryptophan from turkey day will keep us from caring if the football is shite. I’m happy to have a good game tonight, as long as that imaginary tight end Schultz doesn’t go off in the second half. Sorry Boris!

Redshirt

With the Bengals-Ravens as the tryptophan-fueled nightmare for my horror and your entertainment.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What is Houston wearing and why is it allowed?

ArmedandHammered

They heard buffalo were red/green colorblind.

Gumbygirl

Jammies.

Redshirt

Buffalo used a cheat code so the Houston Texans would already be in the red-weak mode. Surprisingly, they are still struggling.

fleshwound_NPG

good game, but…

houston has general mills at qb and has 20 points at the half?

just give the greatriots the east, no matter the result tonight

SonOfSpam

A good Thursday game!

And I have tomorrow off (gotta burn that PTO), so I can get crunk if necessary.

BC Dick

It is necessary.

Doktor Zymm

These are some tasty plantaincakes!

NotShogunButShogun

She’s got everything I need, pharmacy keys
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Redshirt

Huh, never had Instant Bananacakes in the 1st Half before…

SonOfSpam

Game is heading to plaid just before halftime.

fleshwound_NPG

special teams

houston (derogatory)
buffalo (complementary)

ArmedandHammered

Wow, what a move.

Mr. Ayo

The imaginary run defense by the imaginary team seems misguided.

Redshirt

How nice of Josh Allen to make his guests feel like home.

SonOfSpam

See, if Josh Allen heads to the sideline and says “I’m seeing ghosts out there,” it’s understandable, since he’s playing against an imaginary team.

litre_cola

Imagine if this game was in Cheyenne.

litre_cola

Turned it on 10 mins ago. You are not wrong.

SonOfSpam

Oh, a Christian Kirk sighting! He made a nice catch.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t understand why you’d be hesitant to banter about a guy with the surname Kirk catching one.

fleshwound_NPG

feel like there is some ptsd for some certain people when a loud boom goes off and everybody is looking at a christian kirk drenched in red

SonOfSpam

Sure, Davis Mills has a decent arm, but I wouldn’t call it a bullet pass.

BC Dick

This yabbering putz doesn’t understand that it’s harder to run close to the goal line because the defence doesn’t have to defend deep? Unbelievably bad commentary.

Redshirt

…but the Popcorn Vendor in Section 121 Row E is wide open!

WCS

Herbstreit?
/is listening on das Radio

ArmedandHammered

Does it matter?

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

The Texans offense is even more imaginary than the rest of the team, so there’s no reason for the Buffalo defense to be committing so many penalties trying to contain it

Redshirt

Thursday Night Football claims yet another Franchise QB?

Redshirt

False alarm. Sounds like his fell on the football and landed on his gut or groin.

Doktor Zymm

Ball to the balls v concussion

LemonJello

This game has football to the groin?

Redshirt

Possible. I’m listening on the radio.

NotShogunButShogun

Ruh-roh! Possible sudden thing!

fleshwound_NPG

TITTY KISSING TIME?

Mr. Ayo

Welp, there goes Western NY’s season.

Mr. Ayo

False alert. The wagons were circled, as Western NY is wont to do.

NotShogunButShogun

Remember when a 1000 yard rusher was a big deal? That can be retired I think.

Jimbo

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NotShogunButShogun

When those commercials were on was about the last time!

Don T

Figured out the Texan uni style: energy drink can

Doktor Zymm

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fleshwound_NPG

THIS HOUSTON TEXANS OFFENSE LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM CONSERVATIVE PORN STAR BRANDI LOVE BECAUSE THEY STOP BEING INTERESTING WHEN THEY ARE NOT GRINDING AWAY WITH A WOODY

ballsofsteelandfury

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litre_cola

Written? What writing is there in those? 5 part? Does each scene have something to do with the other? Like that 4 rooms movie?

ArmedandHammered

Why the fuck do the Texans look like Christmas ornaments?

ArmedandHammered

Oh, and evening all.

LemonJello

Imaginary uniforms for an imaginary team.

Doktor Zymm

“The Texans’ New Uniforms” – an innovative twist on the Emperor’s new clothes where the Texans also don’t exist!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s taking his affinity for the Dave Matthews Band too far!

fleshwound_NPG

hunter biden’s 2nd career making watching prime nfl games more interesting with new football terminology

bafkreigupkm4jmvzbqn7hiqfpiblkdjpnikcbmnrhnt3eyl7oo72bcifra
fleshwound_NPG

early HAIL SHANK’LOR!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s My Fantasy Kicker!

Doktor Zymm

That’s a big oooopsie for the Texans D

Gumbygirl

Looky looky looky! There goes Cooky!

fleshwound_NPG

so much for that vaunted defense

Redshirt

Josh Allen: “Redshirt betted extremely heavily on Dawson Knox Under 2.5 Receptions? Let’s get him involved in the gameplan early!”

Don T

Texans uniforms were cobbled together from the local Party City

fleshwound_NPG

the helmets are kinda cool
the unis are a C+ effort

Gumbygirl

I like the helmets too.

Doktor Zymm

If you kept the helmets and flipped the colors on the uni I think that would be better

Gumbygirl

Yes. Or at least do the jersey in the dark blue.

Redshirt

That’s the drawback of using an accent color as a primary; if you use the primary as an accent, it gets muted easily. You almost need to simply the design to make it work.

NotShogunButShogun

Someone’s been streaming hgtv I see…

Redshirt

Agreed. I would’ve inverted the number colors.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is “Being Set Up To Fail” in real time.

On the contrary. He’s being given the start against the Raiders. They are basically, well…have you ever seen the movie Biloxi Blues?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB5KldU60Oc

Don T

just plain ho

Redshirt

Is a General Mills joke too easy?

ballsofsteelandfury

I dunno, did Captain Crunch win the toss?

WCS

Count Chocula, but he deferred.

ballsofsteelandfury

WTF is on the Houston helmets?

Last edited 3 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
SonOfSpam

Those Houston unis are Color Rushtastic.

fleshwound_NPG

a tnf matchup of decent consequence (houston in trouble if they lose, buffalo in trouble of losing the east to the greatriots)

something to do until ice donks/ice gints

Doktor Zymm

Buffalo isn’t upstate, it’s Western NY

Brocky

If it’s north of Manhattan, it’s upstate.

At least thats what my brother said

Doktor Zymm

The Bronx is upstate, lol

Redshirt

I just consider everything outside of New York City as New York State.

fleshwound_NPG

isnt everything outside of the nyc burroughs upstate?

Doktor Zymm

I’m aware of that definition, but it’s so geograpghically unsatisfying as there are no maps where west and north are both up

fleshwound_NPG

not geographically, but being away, in any direction, from nyc sports might as well be considered “up” at this point, minus the yankees

Doktor Zymm

Newark? Fuck no

WCS

Addressing something specific, or just in general? Because the latter is always accurate.

WCS

NY sports are “tits up,” if that counts.

Minus the Yankees and New Jersey Devils.
Islanders aren’t awful, either.

WCS

Rest assured, it irks professional geographers.

Brocky

Well folks, we have good news and bad news.

The good news? Neither me nor my opponent have anyone playing tonight, so i can watch this particular game stress free?

The bad news? This means the game will likely be boring as hell.

As is tradition

WCS

As is tradition

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Canadians love traditions!

Gumbygirl

I haven’t even looked to see if either of us have anyone tonight. I’m pretty sure I’m playing Boris, that’s another ass whoopin’ for me, probably!

LemonJello

What in the cinnamon toast fuck is the imaginary team wearing tonight?

Doktor Zymm

Ugh, too red and too orangey of a red

Don T

Upstate Sprawl!
Upstate Sprawl!
Upstate Sprawl!

Redshirt

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WCS

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