It’s Week 12-Will We Get Bologna Salad?

Only if you’ve touched yourself. The Fins, Chargers, Commies and Broncos are on bye.

To The Games!

Colts/Chiefs:

Huge test for Indy, facing both K.C. and the refs on the road. But they are rested and they do have Jonathan Taylor. Hopefully Jones keeps things simple and avoids turnovers-that way the Chiefs will be below .500 and the pearl-clutchers will be out in full force.

Steelers/Bears:

Is Rodgers a game-timer? If he plays will it be out of the shotgun? (to protect the wrist) Does that limit the playbook enough that the Chicago defense can create a few turnovers? I’ve got a feeling this’ll be a sloppy game that will go down to the wire and be won by a field goal.

Pats/Cincy:

So many words wasted on a guy that ain’t playin. But that’s just the cesspool that we all swim in. Why drag Joe’s carcass out there what with Chase not playing and the season done anyway? Well, because that’s typical Bengals standard operating procedure. Start everyone you have on New England, there’s a bloodbath coming.

Jets/Ravens:

Narratives are the driving force in this tilt: New York needs to solidify their draft spot and Baltimore needs another win under their belt to keep pace/gain on the Steelers in the division. Make it so.

Seahawks/Titans:

Darnold gets a chance to fix some of his bad decision-making against a Titans team that gave up the ghost a few weeks ago. If they don’t draft an offensive lineman (hopefully with a trade-down for more picks) I won’t know what to say.

Vikes/Packers:

Why so much squawking about Love? Green Bay’s passing offense is ranked 11th, after all. Minny has won in Packerland two straight years and I’ve no clue how this one will play out.

Lamb/Slaughter:

This is the Giants vs the Lions. Detroit lost last week and fell to third in the division and out of the playoffs were they to start this weekend. New York has no weapons in the passing game and Winston can be counted on for at least 2 turnovers. As well, the Giants run defense makes Cincy’s look like an iron wall so both Gibbs and Montgomery should easily run for 80+ yards and a TD apiece.

Make with the comments.

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Brocky

I legitimately do not think, in the entire history of man, there has ever been a more perfect marriage of gif use and a football team than the bears this year, and this image

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fleshwound_NPG

bears fans now have to limit their pork intake to 400 grams a day

Doktor Zymm

‘Not a Problem’
-Deanna F

Unsurprised

Bears win all the sausage!

fleshwound_NPG

polish sausage

ditkapolishsausage
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“We’re not ready for the Chiefs to be bad just yet.” – the NFL

The Maestro

Minnesota needs to pay Mac Jones eleventy billion dollars this offseason.

Doktor Zymm

I just ran the ball into NAPTOWN for a very nice play

litre_cola

Cheeves aint ded yet.

Redshirt

I have to go stretch. I think I’m the next WR on the Depth Chart. Seriously, we may be seeing some DBs running routes if they get the ball back.

Last edited 4 months ago by Redshirt
Brocky

Hey I once played tight end in practice, can you put a good word for me?

fleshwound_NPG

not giving jonathan taylor the ball at all while leading in the 4th quarter

interesting choice

Redshirt

That’s exactly what they’ll expect!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, it feels like Indianapolis is committed to losing this game.

Unsurprised

Brought to you by Draft Kings!

Redshirt

Flacco out with Dislocated Finger, Browning in for a long pass, but Iosivas is ded.

Redshirt

Now Tee is ded. Maybe for real.

Last edited 4 months ago by Redshirt
Redshirt

So it turns out that while Joe Burrow is vital to the Bengals Offense, JaMarr Chase is critical to the offense.

jjfozz

live shots of Baltimore during the Ravens game, I get it, but maybe a few shots of my “Live walking tour of locations featured in The Wire” business would help out with attendance.

Don T

NFL marketing is so testosterone-y they picked they granted official wine status to the shittiest brand. Tho mixed with beer makes great hobo sangria.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it this?

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Don T

🦶🏼

jjfozz

Response to my fantasy league commisioner’s email about our lineup: “Who gives a fuck?”

Redshirt

JJFozz at the next League Meeting (Artistic Interpretation)

2083205060-200_s
jjfozz

There is a complete tool in our league and when my son was allowed to play, he made a snarky comment.

My repsonse, “Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up about my son or maybe we can go outside and I can kick your ass.”

Sooo. We were put in separate rooms for the rest of the draft.

Unsurprised

I guess I’ll go out for a drive or something soon because the late game slate looks like runny dogshit.

BugEyedBoo

So Jardience can give you a fatal taint infection. Good to know.

Don T

RB 8 yards away on 3rd &1. WHY?!

Horatio Cornblower

Playing Blax’s team in the Lowratio League. He has Smith Njigba and Gibbs, who each have 32(!) points.

I think I will go Xmas shopping with Mrs. Horatio, as there’s clearly nothing for me here.

jjfozz

Another take on the old lady amazon sledding commercial.

“Sally, you gotta shut down mom’s amazon account.”
“Adult marital aids again?”
“No, the old bat is ordering fucking sleds.”
“I’m on it.”
“Yeah, she’s really gone over the fence on this one.”

Unsurprised

Secretly spray that cooking lubricant from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation on it.

jjfozz

Yeesh, I’d pay to see that sled take off like a rocket

Gumbygirl

You gotta let Granny vibrate!

NotShogunButShogun

Is Reid’s restaurant closed? The chefs are gone?

Don T

Titans D is somewhere between a sieve and a hologram

Don T

I like Cam Ward. And whisky. TARIFF whisky

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS VIKINGS TEAM I CALL THEM THE HOUSE COMMITTEE ON UNAMERICAN ACTIVITIES IN 1954 BECAUSE MCCARTHY JUST GOT SACKED AND THEY HAVE LOST ALL SEMBLANCE OF MOMENTUM.

litre_cola

Oh Cheeves, your demise is delicious.

The Maestro

Was out for our last walk around before baby’s arrival tomorrow. I see that Pats got stuffed on first and goal… what the fuck???

Don T

LAST DAY OF FREEDOM WOOOOO

Don T

Until they’re in their 20s and move out
/crosses leg xtra smugly

Don T

My monae lïg team I call it The Wild Bunch ‘cause it’s a fantasy bloodbath

Don T

Chardonet undottled. Fuch this game

Redshirt

TWO GOAL LINE STANDS BY THE BENGALS! (with a Pass Interference on 4th Down because its the Bengals)

THAT IS AMAZING! (until the ensuing Safety because its the Bengals)

Unsurprised

Turns out that medical sniper was a godsend.

Doktor Zymm

Bengals, goal line stop? Blind squirrel nuts!

Don T

TEN two scores down with 10 mins. left in the 3rd ITS STILL GOOD ITS STILL GOOD

Doktor Zymm

Love’s throwing style kinda reminds me of Laserface

Don T

It’s an email from Chris Ballard’s agent to the owner

Don T

Sledding ladies should hit a stroller

Horatio Cornblower

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ThePirateSloth

Are there any NFL stadiums that play “Back That Azz Up” strings when the opposing offense commits an offensive penalty?

ThePirateSloth

https://youtu.be/FYqmQPklI_0?si=U2O0Yk0Y2xqPGkMN

For reference, if anyone feels the need to be shakin that thang right now.

Unsurprised

If it doesn’t emanate out of Megatron’s Butthole, then there is nothing good left in the world.

Don T

Ugh. TD c-hox. Twist of the knife: could’ve started Darnold @ TEN but chose Lamar! v. Jets. Drankin time is moved forward to 4th QRT

litre_cola

Don T, your team is real bad this year. Is there a consensus #1 pik next year?

Don T

/whimpers helplessly

Doktor Zymm

It’s a pity Darnold’s parent didn’t name him Arnold

Doktor Zymm

That was positively anti-eberflussian!

Redshirt

Money Mac from 63.

King Hippo

wiki entry for “Hospital Ball” there

Gatoraids

The page’s moderator Derek Carr will approve it shortly

Doktor Zymm

You can’t run a fake tushpush if you ban the tushpush

King Hippo

BLEERGH, breathing on Kermit

fleshwound_NPG

ah, that kansas city plot armor

fleshwound_NPG

…nope?

Redshirt

Well, that was a waste of a perfectly good Hook & Lateral.

BC Dick

Moron in the booth said a player “elevated” a bit early. Jumped? He jumped? People don’t just float upwards.
This is what happens when fullbacks start calling games and misuse their word of the day calendar.

Doktor Zymm

Was the player named Otis?

litre_cola

Schindler.

King Hippo

an all-time Hippo favoUrite,and not just because of my massive crush on Katie (the songstress):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6Bygcox6YE

Don T

Tardes. Anyone else see that Lamar! Is at 75% at most? Saw some giraffe legs on a scrable at the Red Zones

King Hippo

Not to trigger scotchy (or Mrs. Sharkbait), but this feels an awful lot like the first 75% of VEP/Donks

Doktor Zymm

VEP have a habit of looking decent in the first half

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