The train is pulling into the metaphorical station. The last stop is Washington. Let’s take a look.
To The Game!
Broncos/Commies:
-Unlucky Number?: I don’t want to spook you but Mariota has thrown for exactly 213 yards in each of his last three starts, all losses.
-He was the #2 pick in the draft and generally considered a ‘failure’ but how many labeled that have made $83+ million by the age of 32? This one is on the front office types that thought he would be more than what he is.
-Sloppy!: Denver leads the league in called penalties with 113. Reducing calls against them is Payton’s ‘top priority’.
-By the way, how is it that that excellent defense has contributed to an overall -3 turnover differential? (lookin’ at you, Bo Nix)
-Both teams are coming off a bye.
-Symmetry: Broncos rb’s have averaged 2.9 yards before contact (5th best) and the Washington D allows that very same number! (4th-worst)
-Another Year…: Another lousy Commies secondary. They’ve allowed the third-most fantasy points to QB’s and have surrendered 13 WR scores against.
Give it your best.
Touchdown doesn’t end OT anymore?
Git a load of McNabb here
/vomits
Both teams get at least one possession now.
Someone needs to get one of these players to have a long, detailed, and pointed list of questions for these refs when overtime starts. Just for fun.
Ref: “Do you have any questions?”
Bo Nix: “I’m a little confused about how these rules square with the Uniform Commercial Code, and also I’m a sovereign citizen and I hereby declare victory and go home.”
Getting one of those types on the phone is such a treat…
Off-topic, but we’re in commercials…if you’re not watching ‘Pluribus’ on Apple you should be.
Best new show I’ve seen in quite a while. Rhea Seehorn should win all the Emmys, expect for the ones Vince Gilligan wins, and putting aside the fact that the Emmys rarely go to people who do actual good work.
It’s on the list next. Just need to finish this stupid Chair Company thing.
I can’t take that guy in long form. Too much cringe. In very small doses he’s fine, and I adore Lake Bell, but a long-form show of that is just not for me.
Thanks for the rec, looks interesting.
Ridiculously good, and I do not say that lightly.
I’ll add it to
my torrentstotally legit subscription list.My back is absolutely fucked. Good thing I’m going to spend most of the next day and a half on planes.
Someone is going to know how to spell sciatica correctly for the rest of their life.
Have you considered developing a debilitating reliance on Oxy?
A Nix Walkoff TD pass would be good for me.
It may be a long shot but one Deebo catch and two Franklin catches would be very good for me.
Most Glorious Tie is in play!!
FREE FOOTBALL!
Unfortunately, it’s this type of football.
Also moar bourbon, don’t mind if I do.
Its 2045, the Trump Nation is still at war with the Restored Confederate States of America. The Mutated Evolved Dolphin Nation is threatening to rise up to the forbidden land to end the conflict. It is still the 4th Quarter for Denver @ Washington at Sunday Night Football.
…Chris Collinsworth still can’t keep Tom Brady’s dick out of his mouth
Pretty sure I lose another point if they score more than 17
Yep. More points id have to make up next week.
Wouldn’t be a problem if ….. you know what I’m done bitching about this week. Go look up my other comments if you want details
The last time a horse-based army from the west on a massive winning streak got stopped cold by commies on their home turf was in Smolensk.
.
Fuck, gonna need to Google that but guessing it has something to do with the Poles and WWII.
I edited out the original “If this ends in a tie or god forbid a commie win.”
Anyway, it’s a Barbarossa reference since they just covered the Wehrmacht advance getting shut the fuck down at Smolensk. They would still inflict genocidal harm on the people from Leningrad to Stalingrad, but even attacking Moscow was at a point where their chances of succeeding at anything more than killing people was zero. Unfortunately, the Wehrmacht really enjoyed killing civilians as much as the other Nazis.
The other point being that horse-led was supposed to be “horsey” because the Wehrmacht was never more than 90% mechanized and its logistics was comprised of draught horses and foot power because, turns out, they didn’t actually have many tanks or even trucks and they sure as fuck didn’t have fuel for anything but their tanks and their stolen French and Czech tanks and the Luftwaffe. The only European power than was fully mechanized in 1941 was the UK. And the Soviets outproduced the fuck out of the Germans in addition to actually having fuel. Hence the reason Stalingrad was invaded.
Since someone mentioned Band of Brothers the other day, in episode 8 Webster is screaming at the thousands of POWs going in the opposite direction when he sees officers on a horse drawn cart because, what the fuck, the U.S. sent a million men to Europe to fight a bunch of cocksuckers who were traveling in fucking wagons at their highest point of success while the U.S. and USSR had so many trucks it changed the world after the war.
I just had to be fucking clever, didn’t I?
And Washington just went over the threshold for yardage in fantasy.
Want to know how I know that? Because my score went down two points!
I lost hours ago with 54 points on my bench.
This drive is taking longer than the rest of the game…
3rd and 25? NFL BLITZ!
Fucking end this already! I want to waste my life differently after this game is over.
Its the Ref Show!
BLEEEEEERGH!!!!1!1!!
Let’s go OT!
Telling a teenage boy it’s all in the wrist action is basically the answer to every question they have
At least the commies are staying in it to the end, but they’re cooked like red army pows in Afghanistan
Which Star Trek villain was he?
Either a Cardassian or an evil Commodore from TOS.
Kardassians are truly intergalactic villains that no intelligent species wants around.
These “people” had more plastic in then the Cardassian actors had on them.
Christ, where’s a Shaheed drone when you really need one?
I’ve never eaten at a Cheesecake Factory.
I’m OK with that.
I’m pretty sure I have. But I don’t remember it so that’s like a 2nd best situation.
Once for me, at a law firm end-of-year party.
God as my witness I think it was the day of the Sandy Hook shooting. Reports were just starting to come in and they kept getting worse and worse and that party was
Oh, so you DID have an alibi.
/revises suspect list
Same. Coincidentally enough, I was talking to Mrs. Zilla about this today and she was telling me that they sell more than just cheesecakes
Hugh Jackman in the Neal Diamond biopic no one was asking for.
Jackman I’m always interested
It’s not even a Neil Diamond biopic. It’s about a Neil Diamond impersonator for some reason
Oh god.
Inspired by Jimbo’s question down below I have added a wee dram of bourbon to my beer. In different glasses, of course; I am not a Philistine.
Tomorrow is his fault.
(still going to Foxy Shazam at the Gramercy Theater in NYC tomorrow; DFO NY members get a free drink if they go and can figure out which one is Horatio)
Have fun.
Jury selection Tuesday* is gonna suck.
But I once delivered a kick-ass closing argument after going to see X’s (alleged) final tour in Boston the night before, so if necessary I can fake my way through it.
*I already made a younger attorney agree to cover the morning part of it. My back may hurt and my hairline might be more theory than fact, but with age does come seniority, and with seniority does come some advantages.
My money would be on the one going around calling himself Peter Pantsless.
“Calling” myself that?
Buddy, it’s on my credit cards.
Too easy. You’ll be the hungover one that looks around when Lowratio is mentioned.
Too old for hangovers. For all the shit I talk about drinking I’ve had two beers and two fingers of bourbon and I’ll call it a night. Hangovers just get so much worse after 45. Not worth it at all.
Can someone inform Mariota that Deebo Samuel is on his team and is a Wide Receiver and can do good things after catching the ball?
Emphasis on catching the ball.
For real. What the fuck.
I think the change in the game where nobody kicks a field goal and they go for every 4th down has turned the game into a slog.
You have run up the middle then you run up the middle and turn the ball over on downs.
Instead of…
Big play on third down then kick the field goal if you don’t convert.
It’s not that hard.
“That last line speaks to me”
-Deanna Favre
Nix Pix !!!
Tape of Colinsworth’s performance in the last 4 minutes is the only evidence you need to make the argument for switching to local radio crews for these national NFL games. Each team’s crew gets 2 quarters, maybe share the booth and call the game together. Might be more fun and interesting than wincing phlegm.
Alternate Play-by-Play Commentators and have both Color Commentators at the same time. You cannot tell me that wouldn’t make money.
All the TVs in my household are permanently set up for SAP on over-the-air broadcast; the only thing I ever watch live is sports and there’s no announcing team I’d rather listen to than the Spanish announcers. I’d feel the same way even if the alternate broadcast was in Swahili.
The goal call from the Spanish team is an ear breaker though.
I am Jack’s abject shock.
Aren’t the Steeler’s organization supposed to be like a big family?
How in the Hell did he catch that?!
Hey man, nice catch.
Collinsworth sounded like he was busting a nut or having a seizure.
Thank you for that image.
If you don’t already have that image in your head, you haven’t been listening to Cris Collinsworth and have made good decisions in your life.
I think that’s a scene in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
what a catch!
For some reason, every time I see that Lane Kiffen has left a program mid-season, I am reminded of Aesop’s fable – “The Scorpion and the Frog”
OK, second half! A few sacks, a fumble recovery or two, an INT, and maybe a TD for the Denver D and I’m right back in this thing, assuming Sutton can’t find his helmet.
Another beer or some bourbon, life is full of hard decisions.
No decision necessary. Start with bourbon and keep that beer on standby.
I fell asleep at halftime, Stillers leading, 7-3. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED
.
Methinks Hippo is same from Vodka relegation now, thank fuck, I can watch the remainder from bed.
Bo looks like he was down.
Edit: Great play by Bo. He just got the throw off
I wish, but no.
Defied basic laws of physics, that. Good jorb!
Sutton, Wooo!
Congrats Jimbo. I’m done.
I am glad to see the nostalgia comment inspired thoughts.
This game has not.
Throw it to Sutton, Boseph!
Bonix can be effective for some treatments. Like this one!
WHEEEEEE!!!
Bonnito’s penalty just cost me 6 points in the Lowratio League. Any kind of game from Sutton and I’m dead.
I’d go yell at him, but he’d pull my arms out of their sockets without breaking a sweat so I’m not gonna.
And the rules analyst says that crew blew the call. This blown call is brought to you by FanDuel! FanDuel! When you’re foolish enough to believe NFL games are on the up-and-up!!
Why would you take a 5-yard penalty and let the other team repeat the down when the play that was penalized resulted in a 2-yard loss?
Fuck and no.
Although it doesn’t matter when your team takes a stupid personal foul penalty right after. And then chooses not to play run defense.
Now we have to add “what is a pile” to “what is a catch”
A pile is something you might want to talk to your doctor about, getting old is awesome.
Fatty has to always show he’s outside the box
It’s Raccoon With A Meth Pipe and the Denver D against Jimbo’s Sad Hombres and Courtland Sutton. RWAMP currently up 9.5 points in a truly titanic struggle, (if by “titanic” you mean “Horatio’s such a dumbass he left three guys and 52.5 points on his bench”), in a game with promotion possibilities all over it!
Let’s settle in with some beers/cocktails/hot cocoa/water and see what happens!!
Huh, so I guess according to NBC Sports 4-8 is In the Hunt?
2 games out and you’d win any and all plausible tiebreakers
I’m dreaming, but I want to see some consistency before I start hoping. If we can run off wins against Buffalo and Baltimore, then its time to hope.
They’re in the hunt the same way Dick Cheney’s friend was in the hunt before Dick Cheney shot him in the face.
PSII. Straight-up NINJA
drinking a White Russian out of the can is a desperate cry FOAR help
Careful man!
There’s a beverage!
Dude had, like, standards, man
Shut up Chris!
I remember when this was once a Super Bowl matchup
I would very much LIKE to forget that Superb Owl matchup. Motherfucking TIMMY SMITH
What NOBODY remembers is Anthony Carter being tackled on 4th and goal as time expired against Washington in what would have led to the Tom Clancy predicted Vikings Broncos superbowl.
Well, I remember.
Then again that could have led to all out nuclear war so maybe it’s for the best.
/looks around
“eh”
That matchup had the potential to stop time (yet somehow I don’t even remember that NFC title game – I do remember the rando missed chip shot FG one that got us the cupcake matchup with ATL).
On the goal line as time expired. This was a week after AC had a monster game against the hugely favored 49ers for a massive upset.
The Sum of All Fears had a nuke exploding at a Vikings Denver superbowl.
That’s me over explaining the joke.
Should I go back and read that? I usually am meh on Clancy, but I like nukular war books.
It’s solid. I gave up on Clancy about 3 books later.
It relies on you believing that the Israeli government would allow a UN peace-keeping force on their soil just because one of their soldiers shot up a bunch of peaceful protestors, so I’d say it requires a certain suspension of disbelief.
Fucking 1998 man.
Y’all would have beat us bloody. Champ couldn’t shut down two WRs
That team was insane
Best Vikings team ever.
That’s my version of The Catch not happening and the Bengals facing the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl XVI.
You would have won that one.
Danny White would have risen to the occHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Oh, man.
Almost got that one out.
Drew pushed off.
Yeah he did.
And he was right to do it.
That 2nd Quarter has to be the most painful quarter in Denver Broncos history.
I syill remember the screen grab re nobody ever leading 10-nil (or greater) in the Owl and losing…
Stanford Jennings’ Kickoff Return In Super Bowl XXIII | Cincinnati Bengals – YouTube
Yeah, that high point where we dare to think “This is it! This is happening!”, and then you slowly realize you in someone else’s story.
I laughed at my little brother crying at Montana’s winning drive against WKRP. The Karma was well-deserved.
That’s what makes LVI more maddening; the XXIII flashbacks and Stafford on the same level as Montana.
“I don’t remember a thing about it, and I was the MVP!!”
-Trent Green, who was not the MVP
Just catching up and today proved me right!
RAMMIT are FRAUDS!
Stafford is TRASH!
Stafford forgot he’s no longer in Detroit.