6 Dec 2025 JV NFL Night Threaderino

Welcome and FACK, am I ever depressed thinking about FITBAW slowly drifting away from our lives.

Fightin’ Brockys (+4) v. THEEEEEEEEEEE Ohio State at The Gravy Boat (8:00, Fox)

No chaos here, thought maybe if Indiana loses, they will plummet all the way down to the THREE SEED oh noes!!  But the Brockys haven’t won a B1G title since before my old ass was even born.  They’ll want this, and want it badly.  Coach Samsquanch is too simple a cro-magnon not to live in the moment, so they’ll also try.  It may not be super-tense, but it’s still everybody’s #1 against every sane person’s #2, and we should enjoy watching it for what it is.

Duke But Somehow Not Evil? (+4) v. Wahoowa at Richardson Family Plantation (8:00, ABC)

Time to close the chaos circle, as 7-5 Duke (losers to the MIGHTY Fightin’ Horatios) look to avenge its regular season loss to UVA, and send noted early 19th century.cuckold James Madison into the playoffs.  Or maybe the committee puts Duke in anyway.  Either way, funny as shit.  Wahoowa, on the other hand, lost to Hippo’s Wolven Sort.  Lucky FOAR the Hoos, it was a random non-conference matchup, so they basically get a mulligan.  Should they somehow make the playoffs and line up against Okiehoma?  We’d get a DABO! alumni bowl, which would be mildly amusing.

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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jjfozz

Fernando, calm down God Boy.

Brocky

Bruh

Horatio Cornblower

Rooting for Duke makes me feel filthy.

WCS

The ACC isn’t going to get a Playoff team.

Horatio Cornblower

They really don’t deserve one.

Mr. Ayo

Omg it happened.

Horatio Cornblower

Indiana head coach seems like a real barrel of laughs.

Brocky

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He’s a fucking psychopath. I love it

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ALL GLORY TO GOD!

Redshirt

1 yard down, 85 to go!

yeah right

I’m gonna get a taco and a beer.

Anyone want anything?

scotchnaut

I’d love a taco and a beer if it’s not inconvenient.

yeah right

The driver is 2 minutes away.

Brocky

Fuck, I want tacos now

Horatio Cornblower

Fake the punt, pussies.

Redshirt

I’m still laughing at this. I think I need to get some help.

Last edited 2 months ago by Redshirt
Bogdanski

Holy shit that’s good! Must be diverted to some sort of containment unit, like, maybe a bag?

Redshirt

If anyone else questions why I do not like Ryan Day as a head coach, please remember this moment. THIS FUCKING MOMEMENT!

Horatio Cornblower

I was gonna say that I didn’t think you could show people drinking alcohol on TV but a) that’s for beer commercials, and b) that JMU fan was drinking Coors Light anyway.

Redshirt

We just lost to the Indiana Hoosiers.

scotchnaut

30 wins in a row not enough?

Horatio Cornblower

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Brocky

Not yet you haven’t!

Its the curse of brocky vs the curse of redshirt. Something has to give

Redshirt

My Curse laughs at your Curse!

Gumbygirl

Hooosier daddy now!

Gumbygirl

( sorry)

scotchnaut

Ballsy play call!

Brocky

I refuse to get exited for this.

Redshirt

I’m laughing at the absurdity of this. I think I’ve gone insane.

jjfozz

Ohio State alumni in my neck of the woods are fucking insufferable. So I have a mega-boner right now.

Horatio Cornblower

There was no need to qualify that statement with “in my neck of the woods”

Redshirt

I AM AN OHIO STATE ALUMNUS! So, yeah, you don’t need the woods part.

Brocky

Do you like, just have camo in your closet? Like don’t even know where it came from?

jjfozz

They are the fucking worst. It’s like, “You went to a state university. You know that, right?” Fuck every Buckeye who ever lived.

Redshirt

(laughing)

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

ALL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS AND NO BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS MAKE REDSHIRT A DULL BOY! ALL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS AND NO BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS MAKE REDSHIRT A DULL BOY! ALL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS AND NO BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS MAKE REDSHIRT A DULL BOY! ALL NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS AND NO BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS MAKE REDSHIRT A DULL BOY!

Gumbygirl

Redrum

SonOfSpam

To be fair, that was a 27 yard FG indoors.

scotchnaut

KNUCKLEBALL!

Horatio Cornblower

Ordinarily I’d complain about OSU getting a referee bailout, but that’s pretty much the text book definition of a defensive chop block.

Horatio Cornblower

Went out to dinner with some friends.

Whipped ricotta w bread
Calamari
Seafood risotto
Chocolate torte

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WCS

Wealthy white American lawyers eat food; they’re just like us!

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, it was no Applebees…

SonOfSpam

I miss Archer.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m finishing the last two seasons now.

Much as I loved that show, I now remember why I stopped watching before it formally ended.

Redshirt

I…Uh…Huh…I…

Brocky

Same

scotchnaut

Indy living on the knife’s edge.

SonOfSpam

“You didn’t see nothin”

-R. Lewis

Horatio Cornblower

Fightin’ Horatios are one quarter away from technically being the ACC champions.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s like technically being a virgin.

Horatio Cornblower

No, BYU lost earlier today.

jjfozz

Proud JMU alumni here.

My claim to fame: making out with some random sorority girl on that stadium’s 50 yard line, getting caught by the cops, and running towards the end zone, climbing over the fence, and slashing my palms all to hell.

Next morning I woke up, surrounded by my friends with horrified looks on their faces. My sheets looked like set decorations from Friday the 13th.

“I don’t know what you did, but you’re the dumbest fucker I know.” That was a direct quote.

jjfozz

The people behind the Emu insurance commercials need to be machine-gunned at close range

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s fun to remember that I saw (and briefly chatted) with the lead guy (David Hoffman, I remember that because I went to college with a guy with the same name) at a Groundlings performance twenty years ago.

He has probably made enough money doing that stupid ad campaign that he could buy and sell us both.

Horatio Cornblower

The NY Times ran a full magazine article about Progressive Flo. I figured she made 7 figures a year, but the article implied that someone with that profile, and that length of public appeal/results, was more likely making 8.

Not surprisingly the actress didn’t care to comment.

Pretty sure she also came out of the Groundlings.

jjfozz

i may watch Wicked and write a movie review for the site. if i ould get thourgh emily in paris, it should be a slam dunk

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I actually quite enjoyed the first movie.

Doktor Zymm

That’s because you watched the rule 34 version, isn’t it?

SonOfSpam

imo when Sarratt scores touchdown for Indiana he should be called a six pointillist.

Brocky

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ArmedandHammered

Had wonderful day with daughter and her SO at the Mystic Olde Village. Nice shopping – the Alice in Wonderland book store is fantastic for horror, murder mysteries, and true crime. Later had a fantastic meal at Barbary Coast restaurant. Great but slightly chilly today.

Gumbygirl

I always liked Mystic.

ArmedandHammered

The restaurant is run owned by my ex-wife’s cousin, who is much younger. His father was a Moroccan chef and taught him how to cook, and he learned one hell of a lot.
And Mystic is great, unless you are trying to park.

Last edited 2 months ago by ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

No, but we have paid for as much as we can.

Horatio Cornblower

That bookstore is a fun place.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

oh look at me i’m mr connecticut i know how to read books give it a rest mate

ArmedandHammered

To be honest, I think it is the second greatest book store I have been in, the first was in NYC and did nothing but science fiction, but that was 35 years ago.

ArmedandHammered

Going to the Mohegan tomorrow for Pepe’s pizza. There are quite a few cool shops and we saw real live llamas that were wearing basically Christmas sweaters being lead around.

ArmedandHammered

At the mystic village that is, bedtime for this Bonzo.

Horatio Cornblower

Please do not do that. Make the drive to New Haven and go to the original. I cannot possibly emphasize, (I actually can, but it will be so goddamn boring and self-righteous that I’ll get banned from further commenting), how much better the original is than any of the franchises.

Gumbygirl

Yeah, but you can’t gamble in New Haven. Except with your life.

Horatio Cornblower

New Haven is a great town.

Parts of it are absolutely terrifying.

Gumbygirl

I had the knack for always getting lost in the terrifying parts.

jjfozz

The porkchop I had tonight might have made a 10% dent in Andy Reid’s appetite. that’s how fucking big it was

WCS

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“Appetizer’s here, coach!”

Brocky

So my mom was lonely, and thus she got a dog.

Then she got a 2nd dog.

Then she had a house guest who brought their two dogs, so my mom had 4 dogs.

Then the house guest moved out, so my mom thought the house felt empty.

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So now my mom has three dogs again

ArmedandHammered

It is a bit cold right now.

Brocky

It was like negative one windchill the other morning. I’m not judging

Horatio Cornblower

In the house?

scotchnaut

Dogs in Clothes was the first band that Dave Grohl played in.

Gumbygirl

Little tiny dogs suffer in the cold. They need that sweater!

Brocky

Small correction for hippo earlier: Tony eason was the starter for the patriots in super bowl 20

Horatio Cornblower

“No he wasn’t, I was!”

-Trent Green, who was not the starter of the Patriots in Super Bowl XX

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY WHO HAS BEEN EATING NACHOS COVERED WITH HABANERO PEPPERS FROM HIS OWN GARDEN I CALL HIM MARGARET HOULIHAN BECAUSE HE HAS HOT LIPS.

jjfozz

“Loretta Swit had a bush you could hide a VCR in.”

One of Patton Oswald’s funnier lines.

Brocky

Why does facing OSU feel like facing Green Bay?

Redshirt

That would explain the feeling of superiority mixed with existential dread.

Brocky

I was thinking more in terms of the refs, but you’re not wrong

Mr. Ayo

Time to earn our red wings! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s, uh…um…I didn’t realize that expression had anything to do with hockey.

Brocky

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WCS

Ain’t life a bitch?

Gumbygirl

You know what I hate? Rice Krispy treats. They are fucking gross, and I love both the Krispies and marsh mallows. Together, however, hell nah!

Mr. Ayo

Since you’re a fucking lady, I won’t judge you for this wrong opit

Mr. Ayo

Oh look what I just got.

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Gumbygirl

Bleccccccchhhh. You can have them, I’d rather earn my diabeetus with something that tastes good.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

They need to be warmed up a bit so they are gooey

ballsofsteelandfury

This is also excellent advice for sex

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

And we need to warmed up before anything physical, as we old

Gumbygirl

I woke up this morning, grabbed my phone, and my thumb started to hurt. What the fuck? Maybe I should have done some stretches before I picked up an object that doesn’t even weigh a pound.

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio makes fantastic Rice Krispie treats.

At least that’s what she says. She’s also usually high, which may make them taste better.

Gumbygirl

I’m usually high too, but I have standards, however low.

WCS

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ballsofsteelandfury

Richardson Family Plantation is one of my all-time favourite Hippo-isms

Redshirt

I hope so. Every time I see Ohio State losing to Indiana, I get a bit queasy.

Brocky

Pretty sure he’s talking about basketball.

IU football has never defeated OSU in my lifetime, and I’m pretty sure I’m the older of the two of us

Brocky

They do when it’s convenient. They went to the finals in 2007

WCS

2002?

Redshirt

So Duke has held on to the ball for nearly 10 minutes for a TD drive. That’ll teach me to bet against them.

Redshirt

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Brocky

Jwuakzhaoajzvqyzi![#>! Oajajai!!!!

Redshirt

Turns out Rage Strokes and Tantric Strokes speaks similar languages.

BugEyedBoo

That Mendoza boy is tougher than a two-dollar steak!

scotchnaut

He underthrew that long pass like a young Chad Pennington.

Gatoraids

hey now dont disrespect the best dolphins QB of the last 20 years *sobs*

herodotus450

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Brocky

………..

Brocky

Thank God. I had a whole paragraph written

Brocky

How the hell do you know that?

We didn’t have smart phones back then

Brocky

Fuck

Gumbygirl

Oh, don’t you do that to me. It’s spooky in there!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Because he was there. I know this because I was too. Man, what a party!

WCS

FOAR the Hoos, it was a random non-conference

The Yinzer is a might slow… how does/did that work?

Redshirt

As everyone expected, one of the Championship games is #1 vs #2 for the top seed and a likely #4 seed. The Big 10 Conference is a small surprise. Indiana being one of the teams is a huge surprise.

WCS

 el cuatro.

DIS HEARS MURICKA SO SPEEK MURICKAN NOT UR WOKE METRIC GLOBALISE

Redshirt

Agreed. They want to use the Big 10 Championship rematch.