Your Sunday Feast Commences…

The teams on bye are the Pats, Giants, Niners and Panthers. We only have 4 more weeks after this one and what with PARITY rearing it’s ugly head a few of these tilts actually matter.

To The Games!

Seahawks/Falcons:

If things fall a certain way Seattle could end up being the NFC’s #1 seed. And no, it doesn’t involve a plane crash or godly intervention. Digest that for a sick minute.  Atlanta’s D should cooperate and do their less than average thing as should Cousins, who seems lost and washed, folded and closeted. What? JSN should continue his wicked smart route-running as well.

Titans/Browns:

Nobody wins this one, fans, neutrals, whatever. Play this game in a barn in one of the Dakotas and let us know the result after the clock has hit zero. Blech.

Commies/Vikes:

Mariota played the game of his life last week…and lost. Nothing has gone right for Washington this year but I can’t help thinking they’ll come back strong next year after an offseason reset. But there’s still 5 more games to get through. Jayden Daniels is back. There’s that. Does Minny draft another QB or give McCarthy another year to figure things out/be evaluated?

Fins/Jets:

New York’s D is verging towards cromulent now that they gave away some talent. I love an underdog story so I’m looking for a Miami win and the ensuing chatter that they are on the cusp of wildcard territory. Looking back to Week 5 or so and how the noose was slowly tightening around McDaniel’s neck, their current status/play is a remarkable story.

Saints/Bucs:

Tampa is getting right injury-wise at just the right time. Bucky is back and Evans and McMillan are on the horizon. Plus they need this win to stay ahead of Los Panteros, my sneaky pick for a wildcard that I called many moons ago. Sometimes when you say stupid things you can be perceived as prescient-don’t make that mistake with me. “Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about that.” -the Commentariat

Colts/Jags:

The AFC South became interesting once you turned your back and who do you have to thank for that? Why, only the scrapheap-iest QB that will try to steal your heart if you let him. Daniel Jones’ Colts have lost three of their last four though so now the debate is “schedule doldrums or pretenders being exposed”. I know where most sports yakker’s sentiments lie. Look out, Jax is the #3 seed in the conference and Indy hasn’t won there in over a decade. Trouble is, which Girlfriend will we see?

Steelers/Ravens:

Lamar has been not good/off recently but you sure as hell can say the same about Pitt’s D last week so who knows how this one goes. One assumes that Baltimore will defend their home turf but a visitor win would further muddy this division and that’s every outsiders preference, right?

Bengals/Bills:

Cincy’s D needs some turnovers here and that was a huge ask a month ago but not so much the last two weeks. They still have the 31st ranked run D but their best buddy there are Buffalo sitting at 30th. If Cook doesn’t touch the ball 25-28 times the OC is a stupidhead.

Do your thing.

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
214 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

/leaves gym and gets in car
//Mrs. Horatio turns on radio

“SSSSSSSHaaaaaaalllllll I play for…..”

Horatio: GodDAMMIT!!!

LemonJello

**taps microphone**

DDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Thank you.

Redshirt

How was that not a touchdown by Likely? Does he need a notary public to establish possession?

Horatio Cornblower

Two feet down but didn’t make a football move, would be my guess.

Makes no sense.

Redshirt

He was in the endzone. Was he supposed to spike the ball?

Horatio Cornblower

Got me. I thought it was a TD, but I don’t answer to Fan Duel.

Doktor Zymm

Looked good to me *shrug*
Gotta be some Tomlin voodoo

Redshirt

At least I won’t have to hope for the rest of the year.

Redshirt

Of course we don’t try an Onside Kick, because our defense has been great the whole year, let alone this game.

Unsurprised

It’s 1:00 pm. I haven’t done shit. I don’t expect to do shit. Yay me.

Mr. Ayo
Unsurprised

As long as everyone who has ever had anything to do with Notre Dame fucks themselves to death this is just sprinkles on the moberi floor

Beerguyrob

Welp, Seahawks game is over. Time for some lunch before the afternoon games.

https://youtu.be/1LGM82uPuvA?si=ZM_TdF0_AEh_x7IA

Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ Quaron, you fucking idiot.

Unsurprised

Evergreen

Unsurprised

Lucky fuck

BeefReeferLives

Bats the ball UP. WTAF. ‘There’s no fool like an old fool’

Unsurprised

Baltimore should ditch Poe’s raven imagery and embrace the Norse imagery.

Last edited 2 months ago by Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Speaking of Viking dipshits. I meant these Vikings need to literally get killed.

Doktor Zymm

Welp, Burrow WAS having a good day

yeah right

First Vikings game all year that I did not record and did not see a single play from.

Figures we issue an ass whoopin’ and a shut out.

I’ll keep this strategy going for the rest of the year.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good luck with that. I’ve tried it with the Raiders and, well…you’ve seen the results.

Redshirt

Huh…

LemonJello

Also, obligatory*:

THIS SEATTLE TEAM, I CALL THESE GUYS AN ALABAMA FAMILY REUNION BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING THEIR HARDEST TO FUCK COUSINS!

*this will be retired soon, as I think Capt Dingleberry will soon be out of the league

Gumbygirl

I woke up just in time to watch the Steelers trip on their dicks. Yay.

Redshirt

I’m been awake for my team’s entire dick tripping. You were lucky.

Doktor Zymm

Washington didn’t trip on their dick so much as have it ripped painfully off

BeefReeferLives

The O can’t do jack shit, but at least the D held on.

With those two close calls (the non TD catch was bullshit, IMHO) & the result, I imagine JJ Fozz’s comments will be… interesting later on.

LemonJello

THIS BUFFALO DEFENSE, I CALL THESE GUYS BIG GAME HUNTERS BECAUSE THEY ARE KILLING THESE BENGALS RIGHT NOW

Downfield Matriculator

Is WCS too far away to send a EMT out to Redshirt’s place?

Mr. Ayo

The Bungles!

Doktor Zymm

Decent catch and run too!

Redshirt

Wow.

Redshirt

Ladies and Gentlemen and Variations Thereupon, the 2025 Cincinnati Bengals Defense!

Unsurprised

What defense?

Redshirt

We needed that TD. Bills Offense is on fire in the 2nd half.

Redshirt

If he wasn’t playing a slick turf, Higgins might’ve broken his ankle on that last catch.

Doktor Zymm

Tee Higgins is 100% playing with a head owie

Redshirt

To his credit, he did go into the tent, but I think he memorized the concussion answers.

Redshirt

Stephen Holder
@HolderStephen
Daniel Jones is back on the sideline wearing a walking boot and standing up without aid, for whatever that is worth.

Huh. If Jones had an Achillies Tear, I doubt they have him on his feet let alone on the sidelines.

Doktor Zymm

He walked off didn’t he? I can’t imagine how much Toradol he’s on

Redshirt

They are not holding their own. The Bills TEs are owning the Bengals LBs.

Redshirt

Point granted. They are living on the edge.

Unsurprised

Kill these Vikings.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

… FOR THE BUNGLES!

Redshirt

Now all I need is a 15:46 drive to end this thing.

Redshirt

Holy shit!

Redshirt

I did a thing!…

IMG_2633
Mr. Ayo

Drinks on Redshirt!

Redshirt
Unsurprised

Is this actual money?

Redshirt

Yeah. One of my apps recommended Over 3.5 carries for -110, but I saw he was average 10+ carries for all but the last two games and wasn’t on an Injury Report. I figured I give it a shot.

Last edited 2 months ago by Redshirt
Unsurprised

Okay. Congratulations in principle. However, I cannot actually endorse you or anyone here gambling.

Doktor Zymm

I never got around to writing my Washington bye week report. They should just abstain from the rest of the season, it’s late enough that serious injuries might not heal by next season

Mr. Ayo

That must Hurtz for Ertz.

Doktor Zymm

Well double fuck, double fuck

Redshirt

Challenge that play, Zac!

Redshirt

BLEERGH: “You are correct, Cincinnati, but you suck, so no Touchback!”

Redshirt

Bengals Defense is Bengaling.

Mr. Ayo

*Bungaling

Last edited 2 months ago by Mr. Ayo
Unsurprised

Daniels is experiencing some discomfort? No shit?!?

Unsurprised

It is fitting that the Jets are wearing the Gotham uniforms, which were last seen in a movie where the entire team is literally shown being sucked into the underworld.

Unsurprised

Fuck that Viking prick. I hope his heart explodes.

Unsurprised

Washington’s defense needs to kick McCarthy to death like a puppy.

Beerguyrob

The empty seats in Atlanta do not seem to be enjoying themselves.

King Hippo

That ded-eyed stare on Raheem Morris, too…

Beerguyrob

Okay, you win this round, GG.

IMG_2223
Doktor Zymm

Myles Garrett gonna get the record in under 16 games

Mr. Ayo

Quoth the Raven – We Stink

King Hippo

December is NOT Touch of Downs Month.

(and HOLY SHIT wait for January….)

Doktor Zymm

Lots of ouchies today

King Hippo

Currently playing on Radio Free Hippo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf8u6thqGA8

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…and nobody comes back to say how great it is. That’s just how great it is! They’re having too much fun!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIHZKvz7Po8

Mr. Ayo

Jayden hurt too? Bloody Sunday!

King Hippo

almost like rishing him back from that gruesome injury made absolutely no sense whatsoever

Doktor Zymm

I’m sure he wanted to play, they’ve actually been really good about getting medical clearance (like realish medical clearance). I’m nothing if not protective of Jayden, but they wouldn’t have let him start if they didn’t think he was close to 100% (although that doesn’t account for added vulnerability admittedly). I would say I don’t fault the start but they probably should have pulled him at the half when they saw they weren’t getting anywhere and he was under pressure pretty often.

Gatoraids

the faded Jets uniforms are strangely appropriate

King Hippo

You know who ought to be MVP?

Joe Burrow.

Mr. Ayo

The NYT reads Sexy Friday.

comment image

Unsurprised

Why support a team that’s not even fucking trying?

Redshirt

It helps when you lean into the apathy and hopelessness of the situation.

Unsurprised

Fuck that.

This is why bandwagon riders exist

Doktor Zymm

Because you don’t want to buy new bootleg jerseys from China