Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

Somehow still in the LDB challenge after being in a mall and outs and abouts this weekend. I was productive and got moar lights on the house and now in the trees out front. I’ve spent too much time figuring out how to have the lights all work from an outlet outside, that’s on a switch inside. prob the best money we spent when having this place built.

I also managed to go see a concert.  Saw “Finger Eleven” and “The Tea Party” Sunday night.  “The Headstones” were also supposed to play, but their lead singer guy is sick, so didn’t perform.  These are all bands from my late teens and early twenty’s and are all Canadian, so not sure how much exposure they got in other area’s of the world.  I’d highly recommend the show, if you get chance to go see these bands play.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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I understand why Dan Quinn went for 2, although it seems decadently capitalist compared to thee GLORIOUS TIE

If the Bears manage to maul the Packers at Lambeau next week then I might just be semi-convinced of their rise to cromulence, at least for this season. They’re still following the pattern of the Commies last year and the Imaginarios the year before that, so I expect they’ll continue to get lucky with injuries until the playoffs, maybe win a playoff game, then backslide next year because they’re still too new to competence to have any sort of depth.

I was going to check out the Naval Museum today, but after checking into my hotel it turns out I’ve been upgraded to an insane suite that retails for 3700 euro a night, so I might just hang out here and be O AN I FANCY
Doktor Zymm

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Brocky

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Turf DOINK!
Senor Weaselo

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I just want a high scoring game. I have Diggs, the Giants running back and TE, can’t remember either of their names
(weed), and I’m down by around 23 points. I’m getting relegated, but I would like to at least finish ahead of Zymm! The Patriots are wearing their good unis, so I’ll root for them
Gumbygirl

Girls Gone Relegated is a slightly lesser video series
SonOfSpam

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DFO PSA:

Redshirt

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Had a great day today, met up with 2Pack and got the Vicenza city tour as well as a fantastic lunch. Hooray for imaginary internet friends!
https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/4626-1764695094.9227-300×300.jpg
Doktor Zymm

And the tank… don’t forget about the tank…


Nice day, great company, splendid conversations.


Prossima Cara.
2Pack

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Don T

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BGR’s use of GIFs is top-notch. Is the skill due to being Canadian or due to being a beer guy?
SonOfSpam

Yes.
Beerguyrob

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Did I spend part of my day editing down an episode of 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown I have on my plex server to just mute the bit where they sing Little Drummer Boy? Damn right I did.

/May take the game too seriously
Sharkbait

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If Deion Jr. gets benched for Watson, it may break the internet. The Factory of Sadness could become self-sustaining.

Redshirt

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Daughter Horatio was not happy with her job, so she went to her manager and said, in so many words “you can promote me or you can replace me” and, well, just confirmed she got the promotion.

I don’t think she really follows football, but since she just learned that bitching and moaning works if she does ever start it’ll likely be as a Patriots fan.
Horatio Cornblower

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Lowratio is happy there’s someone in the clubhouse smaller than him! But we still have waaaay bigger crybabies than the new fella [ baby Maestro]
Gumbygirl

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Sharkbait

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You should ensure the lil prodigy’s financial future by starting up a crypto account for him! What could possibly go wrong???

“Binance launched Junior, a parent-controlled mobile app for children aged 6-17 to save crypto with transfer limits and optional earnings in select regions.”
https://coincentral.com/binance-launches-junior-wallet-app-for-childrens-crypto-savings/
BeefReeferLives

I imagine DraftKings will follow suit and be launching “DraftPrinces” any day now…
BeefReeferLives

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Eddie needs to dust off his “Velvet Jones” character for at least one more sketch.

BeefReeferLives

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✝️

Redshirt

ICE Officer: “All of you-you’re under arrest!”

ICE Captain: [whispers in officer’s ear]


ICE Officer: “Except you Judas, you can go.”


Slowly it dawned on Jesus and the rest of the Disciples that one amongst their midst might just have a separate agenda
scotchnaut

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Heard Online:

“My intense hatred of the Cowboys is turning into pity and that makes me angry.”
Redshirt

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Mrs. Horatio: “Hey, what if I invited ‘x and y for dinner tomorrow night’

Me: “What if I faked my own death tomorrow morning?”

Mrs. Horatio: “So that’s a ‘no’?”
Horatio Cornblower

Are you saying that having dinner with algebraic variables isn’t fun?

Doktor Zymm

I’d prefer to go out with the Pythagoras’

Horatio Cornblower

Surprised it’s not Euclid for his work with the Golden Lowratio
Doktor Zymm

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This is intriguing as a potential treat for the Dr. Mrs., since she really enjoys negronis and this is just the one ingredient short. She made some “low carb cranberry sauce” for Thanksgiving (artist’s conception below) and I’m thinking maybe I’ll see if it works in this as a replacement for the fresh cranberries.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The finish really was negroni adjacent. The extra orange bitter dash helped out a lot

Sharkbait

“negroni adjacent” is what Ginni Thomas calls her marriage.
Horatio Cornblower

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Spam Museum
Location: Austin, MN

Me, looking for Austin, MN:

SonOfSpam

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I found my Spirit Animal!

Redshirt

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After 56 years on this earth, and 25 of them as a home owner, I finally have colored outdoor lights. FUCK YEAH!
jjfozz

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Weather’s been fucked down here. My phone says 83 F, but feels like 78 F 🥶

Don T

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Announcer: “The last time Indiana won the conference title the price of a loaf of bread was what, Urban?”

Urban Meyer: “Free, it was free. You just took it off the shelf and walked home with it.”

Announcer: “Your mom was convicted of shoplifting, wasn’t she?”

Urban Meyer: “No, no-she just visited my aunt for 10 months one time.”
scotchnaut

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So my mom was lonely, and thus she got a dog.

Then she got a 2nd dog.

Then she had a house guest who brought their two dogs, so my mom had 4 dogs.

Then the house guest moved out, so my mom thought the house felt empty.

So now my mom has three dogs again
Brocky

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“Damn. Higgins head has hit the playing surface multiple times today! That back strain might keep him out of practice on Tuesday!”

-Fins Medical Staff
scotchnaut

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Tee Higgins is 100% playing with a head owie
Doktor Zymm

To his credit, he did go into the tent, but I think he memorized the concussion answers.

Redshirt

Medical Staff: Question 1: What is your favorite color?”


Tee: “Purple.”


Medical Staff: “Of all the primates, which one is the funniest?”


Tee: “Oh, gotta be the monkey!”


Medical Staff: “Of all the appliances in the kitchen which one is the most important?”


Tee: “Uh, dishwasher?”


Medical Staff: [looking over the results] “Purple Monkey Dishwasher were his answers. I think he’s just fine.”
scotchnaut

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HOLY SHIT! Notre Dame has been passed over for a playoff spot! I didn’t think there was a snowball’s chance in Henry Kissinger’s new parlor that they would be left on the outside, and I could not have been more wrong.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Oh my, a Buffalo snow game!
scotchnaut

Woohoo!
Doktor Zymm

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Damn it! I’ve been Banner dethroned by Redshirt! That son of a bitch!
Redshirt

Achieving a split personality is top notch imaginary friendship. Other Hippo nods approvingly!
King Hippo

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Newsome will always be hrmmm but his press office puts out some gold

Doktor Zymm

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For god’s sake, someone send Terry Bradshaw to a farm upstate to play with all the other retired QBs.
Horatio Cornblower

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I hate this Hartford Healthcare ad where the father is being a pussy about having a cold and coughing at the kitchen table without covering his mouth.

I cannot begin to tell you how hard the blow from the cast iron skillet would be to the back of my head if I pulled that obnoxious shit in front of Mrs. Cornblower.
Horatio Cornblower

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What ad marketing genius looked at Johnny Depp and thought “oh yeah; millions of people are gonna wanna smell like he looks like he smells!”?
Horatio Cornblower

When Mom Cola and Step Dad Cola were teaching in the Bahamas they were filming the Pirates movies (Not those ones Balls). Step Dad cola was a body double for Captain Gibbs, Johnny Depp only hung out with the extras and body doubles, not the cast. He rolls his own darts and is apparently one of the nicest guys in the land.
litre_cola

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I was googling Ayo’s charity work and discovered he’s one of the very few Mall Santa’s in the larger Seattle area that are allowed within 100 yards of a daycare facility!

/keep up the good work Ayo and remember, 50 yards is a big No-No until March 1st, 2026.
scotchnaut

Maybe it’s an undiagnosed head injury, but I’m enjoying this bit.
SonOfSpam

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This is good follow-up.

Beerguyrob

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I’m turning fifty in just four days, and the universe has seen fit to gift me with Notre Dame getting frozen out of the playoffs, and the Chiefs effectively getting knocked out of the postseason ON THE SAME DAY.

I’m not sure what I should be wrapping my wing-wang with, but do prepare to cover your ears because I will be shortly* be running through the clubhouse shouting “WOOOOOO!” louder than I ever have before in my life.

*RIP Doug Martin
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I’m very much enjoying all the Notre Dame hate today.

Beerguyrob

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I overate homemade turkey meatballs and steamed vegetables and I know that the best way to alleviate this is actually to move, but there is no will left in me to get off the couch.
Unsurprised

Hmmm,sounds like you need some extra motivation

Brocky

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As someone who has been very reluctant to hop on the anti KC bandwagon,

Its still funny as hell to watch butker fuck up
Brocky

BACK TO THE KITCHEN WITH HIM
Doktor Zymm

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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