So. Many. Interesting. Tilts. Also, Commies vs Giants.

In this window every game has a story to tell and I’m here to sit by the campfire and take it all in. And to top it off there’s some hot fantasy action for those that squeaked into the playoffs by the narrowest of margins. (yours truly)

To The Games!

Browns/Bears:

Chicago had the #1 seed for one week and it was glorious. Seriously, no one saw that coming even a few weeks into the season. Now at 9-4 overall and 4-1 at home they need to take care of business against a Cleveland team whose defense actually faltered last week. (vs the Titans of all teams)

Ravens/Bengals:

If I had to pick one QB in the league to play the spoiler role I would pick Joe Burrow and here we are. I’ve never called Baltimore desperate before but the times are a changin’ this season. Cincy’s D is not the out-and-out embarrassment that it was earlier in the year. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still below average but can surprise from series to series.

Chargers/Chiefs:

There’s a late season Narrative in its nascent stage and it consists of this-a damaged Justin Herbert behind a gutless o-line is going to drag the Chargers over the finish line and into the playoffs. I look forward to hearing the Chiefs death rattle later this afternoon.

Bills/Pats:

If New England wins they clinch the division and if Buffalo loses they’ve still got a shot at the playoffs. That’s the way I figure this plays out unless Cook runs for 150 and Allen does his Uber-Superman impression.

Commies/Giants:

[makes the sound of air slowly escaping a balloon and it goes on for at least a minute] Yes, I’m still going to watch.

Raiders/Eagles:

This must be a get-well game for Philly or the top is going to blow off this team. A three point win isn’t good enough here-this has to be a blowout featuring Brown and Saquon going wild and Hurts playing above average. Luckily, all signs point towards the Raiders capitulating and playing their role.

Jets/Jags:

The stars are aligning for Jax should either the Pats or Broncos stumble. After this fixture they have the Colts and Titans and the other game is against Denver. They have every opportunity to be a player in the conference. (although I think their bubble bursts in the first round, but still, nobody called this)

Cards/Texans:

Houston’s D wreaks unholy havoc against a squadoo playing out the string. NEXT!

Have at it.

 

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fleshwound_NPG

clutch work in garbage time for shedeur sanders to clear 50% passing

Doktor Zymm

Giants D plays way more exciting offense than the Giants O

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to file a class action lawsuit against Fox Sports for false advertising regarding their claim that their sports talk shows (Cowherd and Barstool) are designed to stimulate the logic centers of your brain.

fleshwound_NPG

it kinda does!

“oh! cowherd and barstool! what should i do here?”

*logic center of brain stimulates and says “turn it off now”*

Redshirt
King Hippo

Herbert is the absolute perfect QB for Lesser Harbs

King Hippo

Watch the Clips biurn down the entire clock down, and kneel from the 1 to end the game.

Redshirt

Shutout with Joe Burrow as your QB. Wow.

Doktor Zymm

That’s the giving uppingest giving up I have ever seen

LemonJello

Jaguras, let’s save some of those points for next week, pleaseandthankyou.

King Hippo

Waiting to hear Brocky’s story about facing Etienne this week

Redshirt

Perine was carted off the field and came back into the game down 0-24. At least they aren’t quitting.

King Hippo

Imagine trying to play racquetball against Brokeback. That level of competitive juice NEVAR turns off or tones down.

Doktor Zymm

That was an eventful minute!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FOX PRODUCER 1: This Raiders-Eagles game was absolute trash, thank heavens it’s over and we can switch. What else have we got?

FOX PRODUCER 2: Browns-Bears!

fleshwound_NPG

absolutely perfect that the cleveland browns have an all-time season from an all-time great player, myles garrett, and it is for a 3-win team

King Hippo

That’s SO #ThePauls…

Doktor Zymm

Offseason draft idea: Great players who spent their entire career on shit teams

King Hippo

Probably what OJ was most famous for!!

Redshirt

Welp…

Redshirt
Gumbygirl

Oh lawd, what a Bunglin’ that was!

Gumbygirl

Wilson heard your prayer, Horatio!

Horatio Cornblower

Prayers, cursing, whatever. Like immigrants, it gets the job done!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t think there’s a single DVD in Balls’ “private collection” that I would be more embarrassed to have the Dr. Mrs. walk in on me watching than this Raiders-Eagles game.

Spur

The Raiders have failed me.

Doktor Zymm

Welcome to Rikki’s World

Redshirt

I’ve now reached the point in the game where I’m pissed the Bengals are picking up fourth down conversions because I want them shutout in the vain hope it gets Zac Taylor fired.

King Hippo

You can ask too much of Younghoe ,, smh

Horatio Cornblower

That holding penalty on Buffalo is gonna result in my doctor getting a call in about 4 hours and one minute.

Horatio Cornblower

Aaaaaaaaand there’s the cold shower I needed.

King Hippo

Darius Slayton, still employed in the NFL. Dunno why.

litre_cola

I believe it is nap time.

Col. Duke LaCross

I didn’t have a rookie LT more or less keeping Myles Garrett under control on my prediction sheet, but I’ll take it.

Last edited 2 months ago by Col. Duke LaCross
Redshirt

One more quarter left in the Bengals season.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

the browns need to draft no fewer than 5 mini ditkas

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think the Eagles should just kneel on the ball for the remainder of the fourth quarter. This is a waste of everyone’s time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looks like they put in the second-stringers. I guess that’s pretty much the same thing.

fleshwound_NPG

donald trump got mad on social media because nobody was drafting shedeur sanders and the cowardly browns obliged, and are gonna add yet another victim at QB in the draft next year

and the next year

and the next

and the next

Senor Weaselo

Man, imagine if I had start Pitts AND Lawrence?

Fronkenshteen

I think Chicago is coming around, you know? Opportunistic defense, QB is starting to click, legit 2 headed monster in the backfield, and Loveland and Luther Burden are starting to put up the numbers people have been expecting from them, albeit a bit late. In a year where NO team stands out as a clear favorite in either conference, why not Chicago?

Horatio Cornblower

I am going to lose in the FF play-offs thanks to Litre having noted TD machine Tyrone Taylor, Jr.

Just like the old Gypsy woman said!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m getting lit up by Arizona’s tight end in a game they are losing 30-7.

litre_cola

Barkley benched now too!

Horatio Cornblower

He got me 15 points and it’s 31-0; I really can’t complain.

I still will, though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Come on, Hunters of Renfrow! Promotion is on the line!

Doktor Zymm

Of course all my fantasy players are doing great now that it doesn’t matter

King Hippo

Just like Your Little Hoodrat Friend, Brokeback all liek goddamn right we’ll rise again

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was only recently I realized that the sentiment “goddamn right he’ll rise again” was immortalized as a tatoo on her lower back. That’s just brilliant.

litre_cola

Do you think 70 something Pete Carroll is having a good time this year?

fleshwound_NPG

if he is using his vegas residency properly during the week, yes

Gumbygirl

I’m back from my morning walk- 4600 steps, what’s that in Canadian? Looks like I haven’t missed much.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bonus +1 for rhyming the final line with “tree”.

litre_cola

Guys, I think Deryck Henry has come to the end of the road.

King Hippo

You two pissed him off

Redshirt

Bengals/Ravens is getting a bit chippy.

King Hippo

at some point, y’all really have to shiv a muthafucka

King Hippo

The entire Qards playbook is “throw it to McBride.” What if he’s covered? Throw it to McBride.

Col. Duke LaCross

The Fox studio crew walking single-file look like the joined in Pluribus.

Horatio Cornblower

That show is so fucking good.

litre_cola

Tyrone Tracy TD, suck on that you filthy Racoon with a Meth Pipe!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m dealing with my Kubler-Ross stages with Michael Wilson going from 31.5 points last week to (checks notes), .5 this week.

I mean, I didn’t expect 31.5 again, but 12 seemed doable.

Last edited 2 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is just painful to watch. I don’t feel like it’s doing anything to right the Eagles’ ship, either, simply because they aren’t facing the slightest bit of adversity. It’s like you suffered a bad breakup and all your friends insist that they know just the thing to get you fixed up and it turns out to be escorting you on a short walk out to the mailbox.

Doktor Zymm

Feb 28th – Rugby League game in Las Vegas

Doktor Zymm

Just grabbed 2 tickets, who wants to join me?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ooh that sounds fun! Let me check my calendar.

The Maestro

Man oh man. The Patriots are dismantling the Bills as my newborn son naps beside me in front of the Christmas tree. It’s a sunny Sunday afternoon and I have nowhere else to be today other than right here with my boy and with my team.

I may well be the most insufferable man east of the Mississippi River today.

Gumbygirl

Enjoy every second, they go by so fast!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As a viewer of this Raiders-Eagles game I must disagree.

King Hippo

They should send you a gift card at least

King Hippo

FACK. DonT gon’ catch Hippo. DonT gon shine.

Unsurprised

The Bills are in Super Bowl form today

Doktor Zymm

That’s cold. Accurate, but cold.

King Hippo

Da Bills, they die

Unsurprised

I ate too much shame leftover fish