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Sharkbaits Cocktail of the Week: No Mans Land

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Welcome to the end of holiday “no mans land”. You know, the week between Christmas and new Year’s where it’s hard to keep track of time and days? That’s been me all week. I remembered it’s Friday today….today. It definitely doesn’t help that the kids have been on school vacation and all routines and timings are thrown off. Not to mention that we have Christmas part 2 ongoing at my sister’s house this morning and part 3 at my father in law’s this afternoon.

All that to say that I’ve got nothing this week. I just haven’t had the time, or sometimes energy to research and make a interesting drink to write about.  I’ll get back to something more normal next week when routines are re-established and we’re all back to reality.

Enjoy the day, and I’ll have something cool next week!

(Banner image courtesy Matthew Tetrault Photography)

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scotchnaut

If someone told me Jan. 2nd was “White Wide Receivers Drop Catchable Passes Day” I would not be surprised in the least.

0
Redshirt

Bearcats…just….just go home.

0
Gatoraids

think they changed the locks already

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King Hippo

think JV WKRP about to be down another man…

2
SonOfSpam

does that activate the Buddy signal?

0
Redshirt

Well, it took a third of the game, but the JV Bengals finally completed a pass.

1
WCS

Daveon Hooks is the Rice player who was carted off.

0
King Hippo

I didn’t have sound on, but it was scary enough I was surprised they finished the (already won) game.

0
Redshirt

Do you like punts?! Well, have I the bowl game for you!

1
scotchnaut

You’ll be pleased to know that there’s a second season of the Kat Dennings/Tim Allen vehicle (heh) Shifting Gears.

1
Redshirt

I can think of a least two reasons why.

2
Mr. Ayo

Wait, this reminds me. I have to write a post.

1
King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO STORY! The hottest woman that Hippo ever had Christian Conversation with (not even for hire!!) texted me to say Merry Christmas.

May this be an inspiration as you write us into 2026 Poontown.

3
Redshirt

Dear Penthouse Forum,

I never thought something like this could happen, but this Christmas proved me wrong…

2
NotShogunButShogun

Lemme run that through the Hippomatic…

I nevah thought sommet like this could happen, but ah was wrong. Smgdh

6
King Hippo

Hippo ought do books on tape, innit??

3
Senor Weaselo

Is Christian Conversation code? Urban Dictionary doesn’t have anything.

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King Hippo

really?? It was a very archaic way to say “the sex act” or I misunderstood completely

1
Senor Weaselo

That’s what I figured, but also I got like 4 1/2 hours of sleep and that was all spent having my legs feel all crunched up, so I’m exhausted and it’s barely dusk.

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King Hippo

Are you in the back of a kidnapper’s trunk?? Blink twice FOAR yes…

2
Senor Weaselo

I’m teaching students, and all my students who were here today are piano students. (Only 4 came since it’s end of holiday break.)

Basically the same thing.

1
Redshirt

Steady rain feels to be an unfair advantage for Navy. Also, actually having your starting QB and RB show up.

Last edited 3 months ago by Redshirt
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King Hippo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbOl2c_JvSo

1
WCS

Texas State just had someone carted off, with a tarp over him.
I have never seen that before.
His arms were moving, at least.

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King Hippo

looked like maybe they were intubating him on the way out, which is scary af

0
Redshirt

Crushed larynx?

0
scotchnaut

Crushed larynx in a red wine reduction on a bed of glass vermicelli noodles is divine!

/What?

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Horatio Cornblower

There’s a solid example for all those idiots, (many UConn fans included) as to why, if you’re a professional prospect of any ability, you should bow out of any bowl game that doesn’t lead to the championship.

And maybe those, too.

2
Redshirt

However, that could show that you only try in games that matter. If you’re in a rebuilding team in your rookie year going into Week 14 and 4-9, are you going to show up and continue to develop or mail it in?

0
King Hippo

Look, I get that this lot is just a cereal grain. But 4 consecutive Rice offensive plays:

1) Pickerception (overruled by VAR)
2) Fumble (but offense recovers)
3) Fumble (recovered by Fightin’ LBJs)
4) After LBJ touchdown, another fumble (again recovered by Fightin’ LBJs)

Earlier in Q3, LBJs also had a pick 6.

Suffice to say, lots of “showing of Jumbo” to various, embarrassed fellow angels…

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Horatio Cornblower

I believe Rice beat the Fightins this year.

Watching this game that’s pretty embarrassing, although I’m not sure how much effort is really put forth in a January 2nd bowl game by a 5-7 team playing a 6-6 team.

1
King Hippo

One suspects they accepted the bid because it was only a short bus ride away? And maybe for Rice, “short bus” in more than one way…

0
scotchnaut

Here’s proof positive that wearing a Leafs jersey makes you stupid. This is goalie Jonathan Bernier showing up at a gathering celebrating the life of Nelson Mandela and not having a frickin’ clue who the guy is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hZNeFWLnDg

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was present at the concert in Cape Town where Nelson Mandela gave this speech. One of the young women in the group I went with spent the whole thing talking on her cellphone. I wanted to rip it out of her hand and feed it to her.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WwpkpuOSjrI

1
NotShogunButShogun

It is fitting that a comedienne who is dependent on anal jokes hosts the golden globes, an absolute shitshow.

0
Senor Weaselo

Lady Balls is a comedienne? Good for both of them!

2
NotShogunButShogun

Nothing says new year like round 2 of chemo! She’s ready to get it over with. But it’s Friday so the cafeteria does have a fairly decent fish fry (because Wisconsin, of course it does).

11
King Hippo

You keep leaning on, and entertaining us simultaneously, for/with the dark humoUr!

Last edited 3 months ago by King Hippo
3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The lack of a cocktail this week seems appropriate for the commencement of Dry January, or as it’s known in Ben Shapiro’s household, “January”.

9
Doktor Zymm

Do we have anyone here doing Dry Jan? In the no booze when you normally drink booze sense, not in the unaroused Brady sister sense.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean I’ve been dry so far (as long as you don’t count waking up tipsy on Thursday morning). But I think it’s unlikely to outlast the weekend.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I was going to, but then I got Covid over vacation and as soon as I get over it I’m going to drink my face off out of sheer spite.

0
Horatio Cornblower

(I’ll have two beers, because the hangovers after 50 suck)

1
King Hippo

DFO should get a tax break (if only we had income!) for the constant drumbeat we give this VERY NECESSARY public service announcement.

2
Horatio Cornblower

THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!!

1
SonOfSpam

Did it last year. It was fine. No need to run it back.

2
Gatoraids

doing it here to make up for the monsoons of the holiday period and to support the missus in her stop smoking effort. due to flu got a head start on it back to dec 26th, we’ll see if I try to use this for some kind of waiver period or exemption date but helpful with diet weight loss goals in the period so should be fine.

0
King Hippo

hide all sharp objects in Casa del Gatoraids

1
King Hippo

ah am not a joiner, out of sheer stubborn assiness

(did delay #1stPill until like 11:30 today)

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Doing “Bender til December”
/end of December

1
LemonJello

Pete Hegseth will not be participating in Dry January, and may in fact, order a drone strike on it.

2
Gatoraids

Has Drink Specials Forces the Green Shakers tactically drop the word Martini in the middle
–

0
Sharkbait

Definitely not doing dry January. I was just lazy.

0
BeefReeferLives

For Sr. Weaselo:

“What’s trump’s favorite chord?”

“A Minor”

/probably a repost, too hungover to look & see

Happy New Year, peoples.

Last edited 3 months ago by BeefReeferLives
5
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

The “a minor” is in a disc track about Drake from Kendrick Lamar

1
Senor Weaselo

As someone who’s hated Drake since before it/he was cool, I haven’t listened to that song enough.

1
Bogdanski

The full chord progression is:
C A minor F A minor

4
Doktor Zymm

I bought some spiced rum to put in warm milk before bed. We’ll see if I ever actually get around to trying it.

On a different note, I feel like anyone young enough to think a plastic bag is a toy is too young to read and comprehend the warning ‘this bag is not a toy’

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “plasic bag” I thought you were talking about Jeff Bezos’ new wife.

3
Doktor Zymm

If she had a tattoo saying “This bag is not a toy” I would be mighty chuffed. No way she’s self-aware enough for that though

2
King Hippo

Similarly, the kind of Cletus who WOULD give his young’un a plastic bag to play with, is also almost surely unable to read.

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