The Midwest holds its collective foul breath. The cheese factories have shuttered for the day. Most crime has come to a halt although tuna casseroles are still being made. Cries of “You Betcha!” echo through the express line at Piggly Wigglys. Forty year old men are needing help from two or more family members to pull on their “lucky” high school jersey. Exclamations of “Cheese and Rice!” are expected to reach all-time highs. Yes, there is a playoff tilt between Green Bay and Chicago.
To The Game!
Packers/Bears:
-Chicago has been 6-2 so far at their den. She’s been a long while since it’s been tough to play there.
-Slow Starts: The Bears have been outscored 47-21 and are 2 for 12 on third downs during the first half of their last three games.
-Subtract Micah from the equation and the Packers pass rush win rate sits at an abysmal 28.1%. However, Chicago is slightly worse at 28.8%.
-That’s got this guy thinking that both QB’s can stare at their first read that much longer.
-All of Love, Burden and Odunze are back so there’s bound to be an uptick in both offenses.
-Look for Loveland to be a factor here. He started real slow to start the season but has come on recently, having caught more than 90 yards of balls in the last two games.
-This is a bit surprising but these teams have only met once before in the Super Bowl era, postseason, btw.
-BYE, BYE LOVE: (The Cars version, not Buddy Holly’s) The Bears are way out in front of the rest of the league in Roughing The Passer penalties.
Give me your best. Also, I know there are a bunch of Bears and Packers supporters out there-come say hello and join the cromulent commenters.
Fuck.
Moar like Mc Anus.
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
PRAISE SHANK’LOR
No good!
Oh.
Oh my.
SHANK’LOR commands it!
When did Zac Taylor become the Packer’s Playoff Playcaller?
Found a funny:
broke: great man theory of history
woke: great idiot theory of history
Someone has been listening to Mike Duncan’s Revolutions podcast.
I know he was sort of joking, but I’d listen to an 800-episode history of the Chinese Communist revolution.
A delay of game BLEERGH saving the Packers would be a nice twist.
Lolpackers
x2
Lynn Dickey had to have been Abe Simpson’s favorite player of the era.
Did he wear an onion on his belt too?
So, it’s clear the Packers can’t run or stop the pass. Formula for success!
Does Chicago realize that none of their offensive heroics mean anything unless they also stop Green Bay once in a while?
Wait! What?
To quote the Epañol commentator, “Wooooowwwww”
Good to see Chris Conte is out of retirement and still on the Bears!
LFG!!!!
They got it!!!
Hahaha this is ROCKINGGGG!!!
da Bears
Nooo wayyyy
They’re going for 2
Omg 😳
It took all day but we have a game on our hands.
Chekov’s SHANK’LOR’S PAT
yep, still losing this. 100%
Found a funny:
Therapist: is it the flying fairy kid again?
Captain Hook: he just pisses me off so bad
He’s kidnapping children!
but the butthole touching is only implied….
Oof. What a throw
Meanwhile, in Hershey, PA….
https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/1q9lo2j/berube_kids_getting_after_it_on_the_ice_in_the/
Like a fucking missile … BOOM!
The Bearistocrats!
The false start saved their asses somehow.
Holy shit, it may have.
Chekov’s Missed XP?
On top of Chekhov’s missed field goal.
Nice that Biadasz gets to do a commercial with Jayden
no team today has been fully committed to winning a playoff game
In their defense, the Bears are usually hibernating at this time of year.
Gronk with glasses is like a mule with a spinning wheel: Useless
Unless they’re shot glasses
PRAISE SHANK’LOR
Probably not enough time left for that to matter, but it’ll be hilarious if it does.
Foreshadowing
Yeah, this may not be aging well
Like milk
Buddy told me bears tackle better than that usually.
Some bears are too out of shape to catch you, though
Wright?
More like WRONG, bitch!
Would love to see he Packers go for it on 4th and goal on the 23-yard line. FIELD GOALS ARE FOR CUCKS
How do you lose the guy with the giant special ed helmet? How?
Leave him alone. He’s obviously frail ffs!
That is also the THIRD time the Packers have tried to fumble the ball ridiculously.
Good old Peanut Punch.
Good old bears shitting the bed in the woods.
SUDDENER CHANGE?
GB should seriously fire LaFleur even if they win. This is criminal.
Nods in wasp!
Swift running TD
Loveland been on 🔥
LFG!!! That’s Rocking!!!
Electric Loveland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRXty8lDUW0&list=RDKRXty8lDUW0
If the Bears win I’m gonna miss out on SO MANY high fives by not being in Chicago
Just found a twitch stream, which I’m sure if totes legal and I’ll be doing no further research on this, and the Bears immediately scored a TD.
All the Bears fans here need to send me $100 or I’ll turn the stream off.
I would think to keep the stream going it would be more important to send you beer.
Amazon owns twitch so it’s legit. Sorry
Dammit.
You win this round, Bezos.
Ew, Twitch. Just use the stream in east Georgia.
No way, the locals drink out of that!
Def like the semi chaotic vibes of this gameeee
Gotta find a pic of Packers WR flying in the air upside down in the end zone and fumbling the ball
It’s Rocking! 🏈
gb wyd
are you seriously gonna do this again
One dipshit never kicks goals, and the other can only get off by kicking. Interesting dynamic.
FUCK. I could have made soup to at least pretend to be a decent human being when eating all those carbs earlier.
The Packers are trying to make this as funny and painful as possible.
Too bad stupid GB can’t just expend the slightest effort to do anything to extend their lead. Playing with fire, just like the onside kick game.
If they don’t score on this possession, I think Chicago wins the game.
off-tackle x2 and throwaway on 3rd down coming right up!
HIPPO’S A WITCH!
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SvuVx40pUXk
Same franchise. Nothing ever changes.