Hey-It’s Another Semi-Final!

Look at us, you and I, enjoying footed ball together.

To The Game!

Niners/Seahawks:

-Of course the biggest story is Darold’s oblique injury. He says he’s ready to go but why would he say otherwise? The coaching staff is hopeful he’s ready to go because despite Seattle fan’s concerns about him imploding, the alternative is Drew Lock.

-I haven’t looked at the Over/Under but the combined score of these teams this season when playing each other is 26-20, Seahawks. Sooo, take the under.

-There’s some concern about how San Fran can run effectively with Kittles out of the lineup. He’s a very effective blocker and combined with Trent Williams and Kyle Juszczyk the Niners could do what they wanted on the ground. Jake Tonges is the fill-in and he’s a ‘catch the ball’ type tight end.

-Purdy is smarter than this but when asked about the recent game vs Seattle he said, “it seems like we played them just last week.”

-Pearsall is back but was limited in practice all week. That 10th-ranked scoring offense needs as many pieces in place as possible. I’ve the notion that McCaffrey is going to get 32+ touches. Afterall, as far as crippling players, the apple on the Mike Shanahan coaching tree doesn’t fall far from the ground.

-One key to Seattle’s defensive success is their employment of five or more DB’s on the field-they do it 92.5% of the time. Given this you’d think that they’d be easy to run on but the defensive line is nasty.

-Hey! Where is that cool nickname for the unit? The Legion of Boom is disappoint.

Enjoy.

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fleshwound_NPG

why in the cinnamon toast fuck did shanahan have cmc out there to get hurt again

Horatio Cornblower

Takes after his old man

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I finished reading Boneshaker instead of watching this game and it appears that I made a wise decision.

Gumbygirl

Gumby was one of Cherie Priest’s beta readers. They were imaginary friends for years, like we are.

Doktor Zymm

That’s awesome!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy shit that’s cool as fuck!

Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

FORTY BURGER!

Don T

Is 40 burger eorthy? iykyk

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about Coach Reid’s order at Winstead’s Steakburgers…

Unsurprised

6 – 34 is 28 – 3 with inflation.

Redshirt

Interesting observation I just heard online: How tough is Bo Nix if he broke his ankle and no one could notice?

Doktor Zymm

Not nearly as tough as Tyrell Shavers who played an entire half with a torn ACL last week?

Redshirt

Wellness Check on Hippo?

Don T

and wellness check on potential 7th pill

Sharkbait

There are no direct flights from Seattle to Cancun. Things just keep going from bad to worse for the 49ers.

Mr. Ayo

That’s false. I’ve done that flight a few times in first class.

Sharkbait

So there is. It’s tomorrow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, you stabbed that joke in the heart just like Ray Lewis, uh, had a quiet uneventful evening in Atlanta that one night.

Last edited 1 month ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait
fleshwound_NPG

cant believe i forgot about that

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whoa. Hi there dailymotion’s autoplay feature.

Sharkbait

I tried YouTube but for some reason this isn’t up there.

Gumbygirl

I had to practically drive a stake into my phone to get it to stop. But it’s hilarious!

WCS

So, night Playoff games no Beuno?

Mr. Ayo

Disagree. This game is muy beuno.

Last edited 1 month ago by Mr. Ayo
fleshwound_NPG

“Yep. Been that way for awhile.”

-M. LaFleur, Wisconsin

Redshirt

Alright, I’m back and why is the Broncos fanbase on fire?

fleshwound_NPG

nfl script writers on that pure 1980s cocaine

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hell yeah bring back the shoulder pads too!

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Don T

And back mini-mattresses!
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Horatio Cornblower

Hey look, it’s Mr. “Not A Senator For Georgia”

Horatio Cornblower

They won, get to host New England, (just accept it, it’s going to happen), next week, and then they found out Bo Nix broke his ankle and Jarred Stitham is the one they need to rely on to get to the promised land.

ballsofsteelandfury

That stadium has to be rocking. So glad the SFO contingent is there.

Bodes well for Chicago tomorrow…

Beerguyrob

It is, in fact, rocking.

LemonJello

Maybe save some of these points for next week, Seattle?

Mr. Ayo

HOX!

Gatoraids

Niners as team fittingly leaving this year on the emotionally injured reserve

WCS

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ThePirateSloth

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LemonJello

Well, better luck next week, 49ers.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN HOX CHANGE!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio is watching a Lifetime movie about Lorena Bobbit.

I should move out, right?

Brocky

That’s depends….

You haven’t been leaving the seat up, have you?

Don T

What’s the title? I’m guessing “A Slice of Life” colon snd a name

Horatio Cornblower

“I Was Lorena Bobbitt”

I’ve already mentioned that I’m hoping this isn’t like a ‘This Old House’ how-to show.

Doktor Zymm

Only if she’s cheering

Horatio Cornblower

Based on my recollection of Mr. Bobbit I’d probably cheer too. He was a fucking asshole.

Doktor Zymm

Good point. Ok, cheering AND giving sideeye

Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
Jimbo

Ha!, wife was watching that earlier. I left to “run errands” for a while.

LemonJello

Has Lowratio locked his paddock from the inside?

Gumbygirl

Just watch your step , mister!

Doktor Zymm

Hah, the people sitting behind me are streaming the game but without headphones because they are genZ or just inconsiderate!

Jimbo

Yes.

fleshwound_NPG

28-3 doing its thing to the niner roster right at the very end

Doktor Zymm

Just landed! How much game is left?

Mr. Ayo

8 minutes left in the 3rd, plus the 4th.

Horatio Cornblower

Technically about a half hour.

Realistically it’s been over for 20 minutes.

Don T

No, YOU try cashing checks with an anthill drawn where the signature goes

ThePirateSloth

I have lost my voice. It’s only the 3rd.

Mr. Ayo

Yell louder! HOX!!!

yeah right

Yes, thank you. It’s been lovely but perhaps a little more funghi next time?

No, by all means you were fantastic.

Mr. Ayo

Your welcome

Don T

As I always told my employers: let’s dial back on hallucinogens

Horatio Cornblower

Pussy

Sorry, puta

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
yeah right

It needs to go to twelve.

Don T

Wait: Bo Nix got injured on the kneeldown before the game-winning FG? That’s black magic shit.

Yes I know it was commented below. Just needed to hear the nees by the español broadcasters, who are obviously on an undisclosed location.

fleshwound_NPG

the qb sweep play not long before it

Doktor Zymm

For some reason that’s not as thrilling a plot point as the injury happening on a kneel down. Although far more likely unless Bo has been drinking Malk or has Boneitis

Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
WCS

He needs more Vitamin R…

Horatio Cornblower

We all do.

WCS

To quote Donny from Trailer Park Boys:

“WHAT IN THE FUCK?!?”

Bogdanski

“Survival of the fitness”
R. LaFleur

Fronkenshteen

Houston v Seattle in the supe would be a war.

Doktor Zymm

It would be pretty neat to have an Owl where only the defenses score points

Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t the Giants and Ravens come pretty close to that?

Beerguyrob

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!

IMG_2839
Beerguyrob

CMC appears to have a stinger, or Deshaun Watson needs to teach the trainer about handys.

IMG_2833
Mr. Ayo

Properly fucked! Hate to see it.

King Hippo

Toonces got a paw on it!

Doktor Zymm

Updated weather forecast for the Bears game tomorrow: 17F with 40% chance of SNOW SHOWERS!!! Winds 11mph with occasional gusts up to 40 mph

Sharkbait

Get a good beer coat on! Also snow in Foxboro at kickoff tomorrow. Might be tough for the imaginary football team.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna watch the early game at a nearby bar. Probably Staleys, it’s a 15 minute walk from the South entrance and is owned by ex-Bear Idonije. Extra glad I sprung for the 100 level ticket instead of the 400s!

Horatio Cornblower

I think losing Nico Collins is the bigger issue.

Sharkbait

That too. Gonzalez being good to go helps out immensely.

King Hippo

take some vodka with, that will NEVAR freeze over!

Doktor Zymm

I could totally slip some gin minis in my boots

Sharkbait

Do it!

King Hippo

I tried putting smuggled airport bottles of gin into Sprite at a JV game once, thinking it could almost be like a slightly-off gin and tonic. It was wretched. Truly vile.

Don T

Metal caps 👀

Doktor Zymm

Only on the top and mid and slightly above the bottom brands!

Mr. Ayo

BREAKING:

  1. Bo Nix’s ankle
  2. Stefanski is Falcons new coach
  3. HOX!!!!
ThePirateSloth

My inner younger Southern hood, Hawaii pidgin shit talkin self has arrived

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King Hippo

Damn, Straaaaaannnnnggggg

Horatio Cornblower

I would like the Seahawks so much more if they went back to their classic blues.

Sharkbait

Game. Blouses.

Doktor Zymm

Sorry, which team is Blouses here?

rockingdog

Whoa Bo Nix is done for the season

Damn, well that’s not Rocking

fleshwound_NPG

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WCS

Bobo!

fleshwound_NPG

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Don T

THIS SAM DARNOLD I CALL HIM CHEVRON BECAUSE HE CAN OVERTHROW MIGHT—oh wait.
Never mind ☺️

King Hippo

Hope we at least get some bitchin’ retro United Fruit Company swag out of all this.

Horatio Cornblower

Dole Overthrew A(nother) Democratically Elected* Government And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt

*Does not apply to Venezuela

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

BOBO!

Horatio Cornblower

The thing about Tom Brady is that his announcing has really improved since last season.

And it’s still awful.

Doktor Zymm

This is almost word for word what I was saying the other day when talking about Tomlin and Belichick maybe having tv careers

Horatio Cornblower

THAT PLAY I CALL IT THE RAVEN, BECAUSE LENORE HAS REALLY DEVASTATED THE NINERS

Gumbygirl

Poe-try!

Unsurprised

The Colonel cursed so much it would cause me to ask him to chill. However, if he saw the KFC slop bowls he would have a stroke from cursing so much.

Beerguyrob

Aww fuck – Charbonnet is one of the best parts of this team.

Mr. Ayo

*was

Doktor Zymm

Well crap, he’s ALSO on my playoffs fantasy team. I’m down to one rb out of 4 now.

Sharkbait

The Pats absolutely need to win tomorrow now. GIVE ME THE JARETT STIDHAM GAME.

Brocky

So what’s the over on nutjobs calling for the Broncos to bring tebow back?

Don T

I was gonna use halftime for a complicated nacho project. Imma do it now, turn on the halftime show for updates on Nix’s injury.

WHO AM I?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Gumbygirl

I’m going to go hit my vape hard.

Brocky

But you talking about nachos has made me hungry so….

Unsurprised

a complicated nacho project.

Mark Sanchez’s AA sponsor?

Don T

Opted.for a microwave chorizo queso fundido + chips ‘cause enough chorin’

Doktor Zymm

Plot twist:. What if the Donks sign Josh Allen to a two game contract??

Mr. Ayo

They’ll still lose, but it’ll be more entertaining is my guess.

Doktor Zymm

Imaginarios best win tomorrow, the Pats getting an easy ride to the Owl because the Donks got ankleboned is nawt a story line I want to happen

Sharkbait

Counterpoint: ……no?

Doktor Zymm

Just be happy we like you enough around here to make up for your tragic flaw of being a Pats fan

fleshwound_NPG

YA BETTA SIGN SOMEBODYYYYY!

rivers-laserface
King Hippo

SIGH. Stidham isn’t THAT bad.

Ron Howard Narration – Stidham IS that bad…

rockingdog

Lmao

IMG_3131
Mr. Ayo

RIP NIX

Someone get Hippo his 6th pill.

WCS

???

Brocky

…you’ll see soon

Sharkbait

Broken ankle

Mr. Ayo

Broken ankle. Thought Peter King would cry,

Gumbygirl

No fucking way. It really is meteor time!

Horatio Cornblower

If what I’m reading is correct Nix broke his ankle on the second-to-last play of the game.

Which I think was a kneel down to center the ball? Or was I too sober at the time and not remembering correctly?

I am addressing the sobriety issue now.

Mr. Ayo

I think you meant to say you are fixing the sobriety issue now with a ton of alcohol.

Horatio Cornblower

Tomayto, tomahto

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King Hippo

’twas

Horatio Cornblower
Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
fleshwound_NPG

the only thing that rivals 28-3 is bountygate

Don T

Season 2 was no slouch. Homer with hair is a highlight of humanity

Doktor Zymm

Bringing in the General Hospital writers was a big win