Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
Welcome to the offseason. Hope that you all stick around, as there are other things that we talk about here others than the footballs. I’m looking forward to seeing what YR has coming out of the kitchen. And really looking forward to ignoring all the rules when drafting Monday morning.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
[Drafting] Leftovers from last night’s dinner, eaten cold in front of the open refrigerator while contemplating how to vanish from modern society.
Just me?
LemonJello
Speaking of hate…
Redshirt
Harbs was a great coach, and then his message got staler than a doughnut lodged under a cabinet in Andy Reid’s house. His loyalty to staff that were obviously brain dead contributed a great deal to his demise.
Another glaring problem was clock management throughout his career. Several of my vocal cords are as busted out as Ginger Lynn from screaming about this.
Finally, when you just got your ass handed to you when you’re up 14, Bible verses and “Who’s got it better than us?” don’t work.
And even though Greg Roman is gone, he can get fucked with a porcupine
jjfozz
HOLD YOUR LOVED ONES CLOSE AND HEAD FOR THE NEAREST EMERGENCY SHELTER!!! SIDNEY CROSBY HAS BEEN CALLED FOR A PENALTY LATE IN A CLOSE GAME!!! THE SEVENTH SEAL HAS BROKEN AND THE ANTICHRIST ROAMS THE EARTH!!!
Horatio Cornblower
how does this affect the Leafs’ chances
SonOfSpam
Found a funny:
A Florida woman has been accused of absolutely crushing life!
rockingdog
Woo hoo – the roast I resuscitated from the freezer for sandwiches turned out pretty good. Soaked it in grain mustard & water to bring it back and slow roasted it for three hours. Gonna eat good tomorrow.
Beerguyrob
A long time and many jobs ago, I worked on the legal language that led to the state funding for the 4 new(er) stadiums in PA getting built — to replace Three Rivers in Pittsburgh and the Vet in Philly. Even then, folks knew the taxpayers were in for a good shafting. Later I helped the State of Michigan pay for part of Ford Field and part of Comerica Park and even later create an public authority to take Cobo away from the nearly bankrupt City of Detroit (they would file mere months later) in order to fund renovations to keep the Red Wings there. Squeezing public funds from a stone, but squeeze they did. I’ve now spent the last 15 years in the Bay Area congratulating Oakland for telling the failsons in charge of the Raiders and then the A’s to get fucked (mostly the A’s). I also watched the rich techies take the Warriors back to SF to hang out in the sadly silent Chase Center. So the lesson is that if you don’t cater to the plutocrats, you will lose your team. Simple as that. Worse, given the garbage they put up after spending the money for the fan experience (which I take to mean feeling ownership’s hand rummaging around in your pockets for all the rest of your money), I am tending to think Oakland got it right.
TL;dr. Late stage capitalism is now busy enshittifying sports stadia just like everything else.
Downfield Matriculator
So the USPS misdelivered a package yesterday – it was intended for the same-numbered house on a parallel street. Normally I’d have dropped it in the outgoing mail slot, but it felt like a pill bottle so I didn’t want it stuck in the return loop if it was something that was needed immediately. I brought it with me while walking the dog and by a happy coincidence the recipient was in his driveway, and he definitely didn’t look in the best of health, so I feel like I did a really good thing.
Now what kind of crime should I commit to restore balance to the universe?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
So, earlier this year, my friends reminded me of my promise, that I have to get a tattoo if the bears ever win the super bowl.
When I pointed out that my college team was on the cusp on winning a national championship, they suggested I combine the two.
I came up with this, and it’s the ugliest fucking thing I’ve ever seen
Brocky
Congrats on the tickets! You’ll get to heckle Brady in person!
I heard that Drake Maye’s wife is a baking influencer and Pats fans are getting kinda sassy talking about how Giselle never baked for them
Doktor Zymm
That’s kinda silly. According to the pic above, she’s got something in the oven right now!
scotchnaut
DUDE! You’re going to The Owl and this is how we find out?!?
Well played, sir!
ballsofsteelandfury
Believe me, it was hard.
“No it wasn’t.” – WineWife
Beerguyrob
Comeuppance Report:
/Youngest boy’s girlfriend needs a physical/blood test done for her next step in a nursing program.
Context: Her controlling mother (she’s a nurse) has told her over and over again, “Don’t Rely On Anyone Else Except Your Family, because you’ll owe them!”
Update: The girlfriend is being jerked around by various people at the hospital where said testing is to be done despite her mother telling her that she would clear the way.
More Info: Girlfriend, very anxious at this point, tells wifey that she’s in a bad spot and needs this testing done.
Wifey: “Meet me at the hospital at 3 today.”
Outcome: All tests have been done, will be sent to the institution that asked for them.
Seeing this very sweet, somewhat naive girl (very) slowly realize that people outside her family care for her and want to help her without asking for anything in return has been heartening.
scotchnaut
Booked a private tour for The Louvre today.
Hope Mr Pickle likes da Vinci.
yeah right
Artist recreation of 2Pack and the Italian ski team
Gumbygirl
I don’t think the Dr. Mrs. understands that the reason I am so resistant to getting ahead of things and doing tomorrow’s chores today is that tomorrow she will think of more chores. So I’m better off maximizing my sloth time now.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
This shitty February weather amirite?
Don T
One thing I love about luge and bobsled, other than every goddamn thing about them, is when someone gets off to a start, has a tiny wobble coming out of the first turn and both announcers say something like “ooooh, he’s not going to be able to overcome that; his Olympics are essentially over, and he has disgraced his country, his family, and himself.”
Horatio Cornblower
Compare and contrast.
BeefReeferLives
As someone who does a fair amount of cross-country skiing, the idea of being able to, without a moment’s rest after skiing at world-class speed, stand up, hold a rifle, and hit five targets the size of a quarter from 50 meters away is simply beyond my understanding. If I skied 5 miles you could give me a bazooka and point to a barn 50′ away and I’d be 50-50 to make the shot.
Horatio Cornblower
Tonight I’m carb loading in case I get called up to the Olympics. Penne with chicken,onions, carrots, sundried tomaters, and about half a jalapeno cuz I have some. I melted a container of garlic and herb Boursin in with some pasta water for a sauce. Garlic bread. It smells good in here. Gonna go hit my vape and ciao down. Mangia, bitches!
Gumbygirl
I have not read a single think piece, analytics, predictions, or anything else foosball related because it’s the devil.
I’m bout to eat this 100mg edible.
I’m tryina be cool, calm, and collected PirateSloth today.
ThePirateSloth
PLOT TWIST – JORDON IS COOL!!!!
SonOfSpam
Just got back from a short but very pleasant hike. My friend who hates hiking said it was the first hike she’s ever enjoyed, so we’re going to try to make it a regular Sunday offseason thing and I’m going to curate hikes that she doesn’t hate while we work up to longer ones. Now it’s cheese time!
Doktor Zymm
Cooking beef Birria and I think I’ll make blue corn tortillas for the tacos. It smells incredible in here right now, for a change.
Enjoy the game, cheese bags
BC Dick
Congratulations Hox
2Pack
WHAT THE FACK WAS THAT?!?!? WE GAWT CURB STAHMPED!!! WE ARE NOW HAWNTED!!! WE HAVE THE MOST FACKING LAWSESS IN SOOPAH BAWL HISTARHY!!! THIS IS NAWT HAPPENING!!! WE GOTTAH BRING BACK TAWMMY BRAHDY AT AGE 50 TO SAVE OUR ASSES!!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
fleshwound_NPG
WELP. See you guys in 365! Still the best Superb Owl party on the block. Much love. Thanks for everything.
Porky Prime
From BSky
Porky Prime
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOING, BOYS?!
Have a great day. I’ll check in later.
Beerguyrob
I don’t know how it’s coming across on TV, but the halftime show is great.
Beerguyrob
Made it back to the hotel. Just a magnificent spectacle. Because they won it was totally worth the money. The fourth quarter totally made up for the boring previous three. Bad Bunny was a great time. The schedule works against them a bit next year, but it’s hard to bet against them returning. I can’t wait to BOTG this.
Love you all. Wish you were here for this, tWBS.
Beerguy out!
Beerguyrob
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
It’s a fucking disgrace that Russia, or any country, can be banned from participating in the stupid Olympics.
It’s also disgraceful that they can and have legally justified everything they’ve done for the last four years with, “The precedent was set by the United States that preemptive war is okay, attacking I infrastructure is okay, every kind of antipersonnel explosive is fucking awesome, and so on …”
Yes, but you hate everything. As they say, if you hate everything you hate nothing. Thus, you are actually endorsing sneak attacks, with napalm, against children, in orphanages.
They know what they did.
Poor Mark Sanchez. All that USC QB got this year was stabbed and jailed for starting the fight he got stabbed in.
One of the nice things about being married to a lawyer is that you can take up the attitude of “well, we can always just sue” a lot more casually.
God bless the high maintenance spouses of America’s lawyers.
I’m watching these guys cut the trees in my neighbor’s yard and I will not be the least bit surprised if I hear ambulance sirens before the end of the day.
Nah. They’ll just call an Uber. Ambulances are expensive.
C’mon man, I said I was sorry for doing that thing to your cat.
Ever had a piece of comedy grow on you? I didn’t like this at all back when. Now the plaintive call of, “Come back, Chickenshit” makes me snort.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_IYrltqYrU
…and that’s how I became the silent member of Wu-Tang and wrote Protect Ya Neck!
Watching the Finns now and #61 Emma Nuutinen is listed at 5’9″ but she’s a frickin’ Zdeno Chara out there against a bunch of Theo Fleury’s. Doing a pic search, her default expression is a knowing smirk that she is failing to hide.
Lindsay Czarniak seems remarkably naive to think that highly competitive women involved in a contact sport aren’t willing to call the other player “a fucking no good cunt” if they think it will get them an advantage going into the corner.
Grow up, Lindsay.
Anything is a contact sport if you’re competitive enough. Remember that UNM women’s soccer player who had the misfortune to get caught reacting to her cunt BYU opponents?
It’s too late now but my advice to the Canadian women-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIAfCupuZ3w
I love that these teams absolutely hate each other, and have for years, for strictly on-ice competitive reasons.
That was a snipe.
That double order of poutine as a pregame meal was a bad, bad idea.
“It would be interesting to know if Poulin would be out there if this were the gold medal game”
Poulin would be out there for the gold medal game if her ‘lower body injury’ were actually ‘three bullets to the chest’; who are we kidding here. Poulin’s a monster.
I did not have the US outshooting Canada 17-5 5 minutes into the 2nd.
Also I’m once again reallllly conflicted on rooting for USA hockey
I’m fine rooting for the women.
As long as there’s a Tkachuk on the US men’s team I’ll root for them to be lose every game and all the fights.
Yeah…fuck them.
That last time I saw a Canadian challenge against the US bomb so badly something something “54-40” “fishing treaty” I don’t fucking know.
Goooooaaaaaallll!
Don’t give me that ‘dead in the head’ shit; that’s a US goal.
Just to make a joke of it as a defense mechanism: oooh. Look at 2Pack growing up not to be a piece of shit hater. 😛
I resent that. I’m nowhere near “grown up”
Sadly, the American curling team of Korey and Cory couldn’t close out their run with a gold. Thank God they’ve got the hotline money to fall back on.
It was close though. And it may have secretly got the gf into curling. She will never admit it.
I’m really impressed they got as far as the silver. Great run.
most gripping story involving Two Coreys since the Lost Boys
“I like gripping stories.”
Nice allegory
Yeah, I know, BFC.
Dirty American women up 1-0.
https://bsky.app/profile/rodger.bsky.social/post/3mejh42fgtc2z
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmEyGiaqm7k
still a banger
And he still wants to bang her so there’s some symmetry going on there.
TMI, international.
Olympic Simping.
Would have thought that would be more of a Summer Olympics thing.
Plot twist: His ex has already hooked up with one of the ski jumpers doing the dick enlarging injections
Well I’m sure that won’t backfire with an emotionally upset expert marksman roaming the grounds on skis.
This guy is desperate, and desperation never sells. The boss move would be for the ex to turn him down because he is only a loser bronze medalist. Do it on national TV.
It’s an open secret that Sillycuse coach Autry is done and a coaching search has begun already. He sat Kiyan Anthony (his highest recruit and Carmelo’s son) the last game, which gives me Joe Judge vibes.
https://www.nunesmagician.com/syracuse-basketball-mens-orange-autry/104831/syracuse-mens-basketball-has-caused-people-to-lose-the-plot#comments
So this Russian, “Individual Neutral Athlete” can’t compete under his flag. If he were to win,( not a prayer) what song should they play instead of his national anthem? I vote for the Ukrainian anthem. Or maybe something by the Dead Kennedy’s!
That one that goes Da da da maybe?
THIS US SHORT TRACK SKATING TEAM I CALL IT A DROWNING POOL BECAUSE THE BODIES ARE HITTING THE FLOOR!!!
I should get my mother-in-law watching that, she went nuts for the Korean ice dancing team and they didn’t even make it out of the preliminaries.
Korea is oddly good at speed skating.
I know that it’s a safety thing, but the ski jump would be way cooler if it was designed with a giant chasm between the ramp and the landing zone.
I’m still convinced to this day that the SKI jump had to be invented by accident
Eddie the Eagle hopes this never happens
What’s the point of a giant chasm if it’s not filled with something like piranhas or rattlesnakes?
My comment on the luge just literally happened in real life.
The announcers are criticizing the ramp design, so expect some snide comments about Italian construction quality from the athletes and coaches.
Of course it’s luge, so 12 people will pay at best half-hearted attention.
I’m watching. 13!
Apparently the Italians constructed the podium for the team skating medals out of the wrong material, so the teams that medaled (U.S., Japan, and Italy) had their skates damaged.
Wait, really?
Yeah: https://www.espn.com/olympics/story/_/id/47885866/olympics-apologizes-podium-surface-damaging-skaters-blades
Don’t they put blade guards on pretty much right after they get off the ice
I think so, yeah, but maybe the podium is set up *on* the ice or something? It was a pretty big fuckup by the organizers.
Story indicates they’re on the podium on exposed blades. Is it maybe a figure skating thing where they don’t use blade guards?
I recall seeing in the past, as they sit there waiting on the judges scores, frequently they pass the time putting the blade guards on. As precise as they groom the edges you would think that would be prudent and standard. That or just put some Crocks on or something…
Yeah, I don’t get it then.
It happened to all the teams, it’s not like one or two individual skaters fucked up.
I think they do a sort of victory lap and skate to the podium
Here’s team Japan stepping onto the podium during the medal ceremony
Ray Handley passed away. He was the successor to Parcells and never had a chance. He’d never been much more than a position coach (linebackers and then running backs) and didn’t have nearly the charisma that Parcells had in order to keep the New York media at bay. He was fired after 2 lousy years and dropped off the face of the planet. Years later when he was tracked down by the Post for a story he basically told them to “fuck off”.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/47887021/former-giants-head-coach-ray-handley-dies-age-81
That’s always the best policy when approached by the Post.
Canada and the U.S. play women’s hockey at 2pm EST. That rivalry is frickin’ intense.
The rest of tournament is played to determine who gets the bronze.
No Poulin
Gumbygirls post has had me working to rewrite the lyrics to Runnin with the Devil for three days now…
Thanks for the recap. Beerguy had the BOTG really goin on.
Beerguyrob was the big winner this week!
For those that don’t know, Portage is my home town
An announcement like this makes Applebee’s money seem like…short change?
/gets kneecap bitten by Lowratio
oh no how awful
https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/1r0qc1h/tutsi_rebel_group_claims_erik_prince_kidnapped_in/?sort=new
.
While I don’t indulge in racist tropes like “all African rebels are cannibals” there are some cases where I am willing to hope there is some basis in fact in such tropes.
This is one of them.
.
Everyone is a cannibal with enough motivation.
yes that’s just terrible news
It’s crazy but there’s actually a few people out there who believe that the world would be a better place if Erik Prince spent the rest of his life in captivity.
Who’da thunk that the Norwegians would be so good at the 20K Biathalon? There’s nary a Canadian in the top 30, probably because Trudeau took all our guns away, smh.
You all couldn’t see my top-level comments because I was watching THE KID ROCK TURNING POINT USA HALFTIME SHOW!
Also, this guy Sam Darnell, now I call this guy Charlie Kirk because it looked like he was dead; but now his career is better than ever and his wife seems happier too.
And how was the TPUSA (pronounced tee puss-ay) Paedopalooza? Or is the proper name Klanchella?
Did Kid Rock perform his classic family friendly song, Balls in your Mouth?
Nobody knows. Even Trump was watching Bad Bunny.