Sexy Friday – 20260529

TGIF! We’ve got playoff hockey tonight, a Game 7 tomorrow (for those that associate with the association), and a big soccer match. Let’s get to it!

Word Count Filler Time

I warned you last week I had some more fun Canada stories, so let’s do it!

Goal
Your favoUrite team Canada goalie Corey Hirsch threatened to sue the Swedish government back in 1995. The Swedes were releasing a commemorating coin for the 1994 gold medal win. The coin would depict the game winning goal by Peter Forsberg scoring on Hirsch. Fun aside, this was decided by a shootout unlike the gloUrioUs playoff format the NHL uses. Hirsch said he didn’t remember it that way (does Canada not have video access?), but Sweden ignored him and issued the coin anyway.

Shorts
Teenager David was pulled over by the MoUnties for driving erratically. Suspecting a DUI, he was placed in the back seat of a MoUntie car before being given a breathalyzer test. While in the back seat he ate his own underwear to, as he later said, soak up the alcohol in his system. And it worked! When the finally tested him he came in under the limit and got off scotch free.

Drill
This enterprising man in Toronto was installing a new sliding glass door by himself. Unfortunately, he lost his balance while on a step ladder, fell and knocked himself unconscious. Which makes sense, because when he woke up he found that his head had found a power drill on the ground that bored three inches into his skull. What is it with you Canucks and skull damage? Anyway, as I said earlier, he’s an enterprising dude. When he found he couldn’t just pull the drill out of his head, he put the drill in reverse, pulled the trigger, and it came out! He wisely went the hospital where doctors removed all the bone fragments in his brain and patched up the hole.

Moose
In Newfie (that’s Newfoundland [real creative name, that] for you non-locals) radar detectors are illegal. So, a driver found himself in a pickle when he was stopped and ticketed for his radar detector. He unsuccessfully argued it was actually a moose detector, because everyone knows a moose accident can be nasty.

ZZZZ
Despite the popUlarity of U’s, this Montreal lad was more interested in Z’s. That’s because his name was Zeke Zzyzus. So much so, that he changed his last name to Zzzyzus just so that he could still be the last name in the phone book. He had been passed by Pol Zzyzzo and Zzzap Distribution.

I’m sure we’ll revisit these Canuckian stories in the future, but for now we’re done.

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!