12 Sept JV NFL Evening Thread

Heck, we done watched teevee all damned day.  Why not 7 or 8 hours MOAR?

Fightin’ Misters Pickle (+8.5) at Boise State (6:00, USA)

Should Memphis triumph on the Smurf (jism) Turf, they’d likely be in the driver’s seat to make the playoffs.  Sure, they probably won’t.  But STILL.

Tennessee (-11.5) at Georgia Tech (7:00, ESPN)

What a difference a week makes, at least regarding public perception of the Yaller Jackets.  Still, who knows if the Creamsicles are even halfway good?  Expecting a low scoring battle of attrition here.

JV BOLTMEN!! (+12.5) at Westwood Klavern (7:15, BTN)

Battle for the “soul” of the PAC-12.  Televised by the Big Ten Network.  What a time to be alive.  Hot cheerleaders, though.

tOhio State (+1.5) at Steerfuckers South (7:30, ABC)

Hey looky-loo, the game everyone is watching.  It’s basically the Tree Nutz defense against Arch Manning.  That’s the only matchup that matters, and is where bragging rights will be lost or won.  Both squadrons likely make the playoffs regardless, though.

Cornpone State (+14) at Team Cornpone (7:30, NBC)

Those usually-pesky Cyclones have been hollowed out by the coaching carousel (and matching transfer portal march).  But should a prehistoric offensing unit ever be a full 2-tuddy fave over a rival?

Pig Sooey (+12.5) at Team Secular Big Love (10:15, ESPN)

Wait, for this season, maybe Piggy is 16 of 16 in the SEC.  This line certainly indicates that.  Good enough watch anyway, by mid-September Tweaker Fixture standards.

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rockingdog

Found a funny:

TIL that Mohamed Atta was a professional urban planner, of the preservationist nimby persuasion, and that his graduate school thesis was about how high-rises ruin neighborhood character 😳

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rockingdog

🏙️

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Beerguyrob

FAT GUY TUDDY!

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Beerguyrob

Good times at the LioUns game.

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Horatio Cornblower

Hamster’s back on the wheel, huh?

Man, we need more carrots around here.

WCS

22:39 EST AND WE’RE BACK

Ohio State leading Texas, 23-10 in the fourth, Texas driving inside the ten, though.

¡El Assico! tied 13-13 in the fourth quarter, because of course it is.

rockingdog

Oh shit

Horney alarm! 🚨

The actor who plays Jack Reacher in the TV Show Reacher just got divorced.

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Last edited 1 hour ago by rockingdog
SonOfSpam

“I hope the Rams win this week!”

(monkey’s paw curls)

(Colorado State puts up 58 against Southern Utah)

Horatio Cornblower

Got a haircut, got a workout, got to see Arsenal win, got the lawn mowed, got the dog walked, and got an enormous pile of brush burned. 10:00 pm and I’m eating dinner and DRINKING A BEER!!!

How the fuck you doin’, boys!?

WCS

See why he makes Applebee’s money, folks?

LemonJello

Who is the backup for Manning? Put that kid in.

Don T

Peeps: I’ll have the games on tomorrow, with the customarily excessive amount of food—just prepped. Feel free to drop by. It’s BYOB, unless.*

*Unless you drink Medalla, tonic water, Coke Null, cheap-ish gin, or Malta India Light. If you dig any of those drink options, donations accepted.

Horatio Cornblower

Medalla is in no way an outstanding beer, but the two I had after a day sliding down waterfalls outside of San Juan, then snorkeling for an hour, remain two of the absolute best beers I have ever had in my life.

Fronkenshteen

You can have one corporate whistleblower with a bombshell story that has the potential to bring about the complete and permanent obliteration from the American landscape of a major sports media figure AND their company. Do you destroy Pat McAfee and ESPN or Dave Portnoy and Barstool Sports?

SonOfSpam

Destroying Portnoy would be more fun. But I wouldn’t argue with McAfee blinking from existence.

Fronkenshteen

Having to frame my answer in terms of “who is more dangerous to society at large?” really angers me and frightens me more than I’m probably willing to admit. The sway these two simpletons have over legions of followers breaks my heart.

Jimbo

McAfee. I’ve never listened to Portnoy, although I heard he sucks. McAfee seems to be everywhere.

WCS

Portnoy is responsible for entities like McAfee.
Also, I McAfee is a Yinzer AND Mountaineer. Portnoy is the living, breathing embodiment of Masshole.

Don T

I’m fine without just McCafé, I don’t care if he’s the least dangerous of the 4. In the alternative: pur some sleeves on, fucko!

Horatio Cornblower

Mock draft topic for next off-season?

Oh hell yes.

litre_cola

deci had a 5 hour bday party to go to. 5! So we went to Costco and didn’t kill anyone, then went for some of the most delicioUs chicken burgers at a brewery. Mine had kimchi, and a korean bbq sce. I paired it with an Aussie hopped mango ale because I am fancy. Great 5 hour escape from parenthood!

Horatio Cornblower

Just got an invite to my wife’s niece’s first birthday. That is a hard pass from yours truly.

We didn’t inflict our kids’ birthdays on anyone other than immediate family, and I’ll be goddamned if anyone’s gonna inflict theirs on me.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, technically that kid is also my niece, but I do not recognize that side of the family. Haven’t seen any of them in literally decades.

Brick Meathook

Potomac River above Georgetown

https://ibb.co/XPPQb3P

litre_cola

That is fucking gorgeous Brick.

herodotus450

Now it makes sense how those Canucks got the jump on us. It was a fluke! Weather game!

Horatio Cornblower

Looks more like a tree than a river, if I’m being honest.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Longhorns giving away cheap points before halftime like they’re a pro team.

LemonJello

These Ohio gentlemen are putting boots to asses of their Texan opponents.

yeah right

Do you know how cool it is that I’m not doing last minute Sunday Gravy edits?

Much fun with all of the right brothers in the house today.

Makes you feel like our parents knew what they were doing.

Fucking amazing.

Fronkenshteen
Fronkenshteen

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Brick Meathook

Allison 50cc Hemi In-Line Gas-Cooled Double-Charged Aircraft Engine

This was used on the P-52 Air Hawk and the P-64 Owlet

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Fronkenshteen

Why can’t we get a Manning-cast of this game? Arch looks like a grumpy emo kid after bad throws.

yeah right

The parking SUCKS there. You park on a golf course or in someone’s front yard and there are like 2 surface streets in and out of the Arroyo Seco.

Bring a grill and an ice chest to prepare for the wait to get out.

Cool venue though.

ballsofsteelandfury

HELL NO! I’m at a cafe in Monrovia.

Much better use of my time.

LemonJello

Manning Face: The Next Generation

Gatoraids

turned a coroner

Doktor Zymm

Amazing. Gonna try to sleep now what with it being 2am local time. Nights y’all!

rockingdog

I watch birds like a show,
Right now I’m watching Flamingo
🦩

Don’t spoil it for me.

Next week I’m watching hawk.

Lmao

Horatio Cornblower

Was canoeing with Mrs. Cornblower last week and paddled right under a majestic bald eagle, majestically ripping the guts out of a fish.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

Lady Gaga had a baby
Hopefully it is named Baby Gaga

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or Goo Goo

Doktor Zymm

That’s the Middle name, first name Radio

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I actually thought about tossing that song into the mix on Friday.

herodotus450

Should just be The Rule that the home team kicks off to start the game, and receives in the second half. Could replace the 90 seconds of coin flip time with a few more commercials!

Doktor Zymm

Lights up!

Doktor Zymm

Younger dude is still here but I don’t think I have ever been drunk enough in my life to approach him and ask wtf was up with panties girl

ballsofsteelandfury

OH YOU NEED TO!!! I WILL CONTRIBUTE TO ANY UPGRADES YOU WANT FOR THE VOLCANO LAIR!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, officially starting at 4:43 local time. Let’s see how this goes.

ballsofsteelandfury

Drinking?

LemonJello

Vacuuming.

Doktor Zymm

Eh they close in 30 minutes and feet are well tucked up, sticking around for a last beer. Younger dude is at the bar with I guess some friends of his? I hope panties girl is ok

Doktor Zymm

No panties girl just ran out followed by older dude and much more slowly by younger dude who is lingering inside checking his phone

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s either an Eiffel Tower situation or older dude is watching from the closet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I put off lifting weights this morning to make time for the four (yes, FOUR) loads of laundry we did (to be fair to the Dr. Mrs., they were all pretty much necessary, though it wouldn’t have been the end of the world to leave one for tomorrow) and now I have zero energy. And this evening I’m supposed to go to a concert where the musicians are less than half my age. I’d blame my lack of vigor on my advancing age, but I never really had all that much energy to begin with. Can’t I just drink some beers and go to bet at 8 p.m.?

Doktor Zymm

YOU CAN BET ANY TIME ALL THE TIME DRAFTKINGS!!!

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, Cherry Bomb!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m more interested in the open relationship/cuck enthusiast/swingers on the prowl in Dok’s bar than any of these games…

Doktor Zymm

I’m glad he’s having fun in retirement, he deserves good things

Gatoraids

yes legit fun, hope he gets fat in old age and rides around in a bus like Madden

Doktor Zymm

It IS extremely interesting

Doktor Zymm

There are a couple of ladies probably in their early 30s who have just been playing backgammon this whole time with their beer, akavit, and cigs on a stool. They are my spirit animal

Doktor Zymm

As is the older couple at the end of the bar who have just been chilling

Doktor Zymm

Ugh, dude who I think is an american exchange student or something just took his shoes and socks off. Panties whatever but gross bare feet? Noping right out of here as soon as I finish my beer

ballsofsteelandfury

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You sure you don’t want to stick around? You never know who might turn up.

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scotchnaut

/Youngest Skull Fracture Boy is headed to a C&W-themed wedding

Me: “Did you know that any couple that plays ‘Boot Scootin’ Boogie’ during the reception has a 90% chance of ending up in…a trailer park?”

YSFK: “Fuck off Dad.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tell them to say hi to Jed York for you.

Doktor Zymm

And a completely different chick just collapsed at the bar but is now conscious. Eventful night!

Doktor Zymm

Ambulance was here admirably quick

Gumbygirl

UAB came back for the win. Blaze up, bitches!

Last edited 4 hours ago by Gumbygirl
scotchnaut

THERE’S NO REASON WHY THE FOOTBALL PROGRAM SHOULD BE THIS BAD FOR THIS LONG, NONE!”

Horatio Cornblower

This also goes for the basketball program.

Although apparently Syracuse University as a whole is in real financial trouble. Hopefully my aunt locked down her pension.

Doktor Zymm

There is this older dude and this chick who are a bit all over each other at the bar but what I can’t quite figure out is what’s up with the dude sitting on her other side. I was thinking brother but she just caressed his thigh so thruple?

Doktor Zymm

Oh good for her!

Doktor Zymm

Uh holy shit she just took her panties off and handed them to older dude who put them in his pocket. I mean, still good for her but I don’t sit on barstools without panties unless my skirt is long enough that I can ensure there is cloth between me and the barstool

Doktor Zymm

The social contract is a bit flexible at a dive bar past midnight bu this is in fact the first time I’ve seen that in all my days

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo needs his fainting couch!

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, I didn’t forget my wallet, it’s in the zipper pocket of my new jacket!

Gumbygirl

Is that the hashpipe pocket? Gotta love a multitasker!

Doktor Zymm

I appreciate that people still hang out in a group on the sidewalk smoking when they can smoke indoors. I also appreciate that while I’m still getting used to the keyboard on my new phone I keep hitting m instead of n but I seem to be getting better at doing it correctly with moar Tuborg

ballsofsteelandfury

You never go AtM. Even I know better than that…

Doktor Zymm

Do you though?

ballsofsteelandfury

Despite popular belief, I do follow and advocate for safe anal practices!

Doktor Zymm

So glad I’m out of the country for the anniversary. It’s bad enough in a year nawt divisible by 5. And none of these kids were even alive

Last edited 5 hours ago by Doktor Zymm
WCS

Well, thanks for trying Kenfucky.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s looking real purty right there!

ballsofsteelandfury

Kentucky is now officially in basketball season

WCS

Same at Nike U.

scotchnaut

Current Status:

Making Lipton chicken noodle soup out of a box because I want to re-visit my latchkey kid childhood.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll raise you a Cup O Noodles!

Doktor Zymm

I can microwave a hotdog like a mofo

Gumbygirl

Air fryer now, because I am a fucking lady!

Doktor Zymm

Classy!

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