![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
We enter summer, always a good time to stir shit up. School is out, kids run rampant (especially the ones in summer school), folks are traveling, absenteeism gets frequenter… These circumstances are ripe for upending authority and get revolts cookin’. Just off the top of my head, these are three history-changing events that happened in summer: the American Revolution, Storming the Bastille, and the release of “Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix)”. Only ungovernables can be behind such madnesses* at the time.
* English should really have a word for locura.
But there is also ungovernable behavioUr outside humans. For weeks, I’ve been enjoying the tales of Gladis the killer whale: scourge of yachts. In the south coast of Spain, near Gibraltar, pods of orcas are attacking ships. Concerted, focused attacks!
They stealthily approach the boat, often without the crew noticing them; they curiously examine it in detail and get under the boat. They begin to touch it and hit the rudder with their heads to turn the ship; they can even break it with a lever movement. “They know that this is how the boat turns and that they can steer it,” explains Alberto López, a marine biologist and spokesman for the Orca Atlántica group. The greater the speed and the more resistance by whoever controls the rudder, the harder the killer whales push. The boat can drift and even sink, which has happened on three occasions.
There have been several pods, and the leader is usually an older orca who is named Gladis, designated in the way “Karen” is for shrill mackerel. There’s a white Gladis, a grey Gladis, and they command young uns who get busay. Orcas are fascinating, yooge animals. They travel in groups headed by a mother and “a male orca will stay with its mother for life”—which is delightfully Italian. Orca daughters may split off from the pod to form their own families, which happens to be the nightmare of every Hispanic mother.
🎶Eh Macarena, aeeej🎶
NFL NEWS
There’s a couple of items that raised an eyebrow. Mine.
-Calvin Ridley is back in the NFL, after being out close to two years. He participated in OTAs with the Jags. Hometown press and espen report that Jax is taking it slow with Ridley, on account of rust. Good vibes towards Ridley, gambling no-gags order is in place.**
** Unless TEN starts off 8-3.
-Von Miller is confident he will return from ACL surgery to play Week 1, MNF against the Qaron Jets. Miller is 34 and his first ACL surgery was in 2013. Miller spins it positively:
And 10 years removed from that, 2023, I have a whole new outlook. I know exactly where I’m supposed to be at two months, four months, six months and in the position where I’m at now, I feel great, I feel comfortable. I feel like I’ll be ready to go at the start of the season.
Suckers for syllogisms swoon, but logic ain’t all that.
-Josh McDaniels, for whom lines are not to step on but to cha-cha all over and back, is not worried about Jimmy G. Garoppolo signed with the Raiders in March, then had foot surgery, and is still in rehab. As the espen deportes item notes, McDaniels told the press
No tengo ansiedad. Ustedes pueden tener ansiedad. Yo no tengo ansiedad.
No voy a poner un calendario o un día en nada.
I think it’s pretty explanatory: stop with the anxiety Qs! IM OK, OK?! ¡Cristo Jesús men!
SPROTS TOMITE
All times Central.
NBA Finals
Nuggets (1-0) @ Miami – 7:30
Grandes Ligas
Now, as always, slur free.
Y*nk*s (Germán) @ Doyers (Miller) – 6:00
TOP FLIGHT FÚTBOL
Correction: Last week’s edition stated implied that Liga MX had two clubs from Guadalajara, those being Chivas and “Guadalajara” (source: narcotics). Not the case, duly acknowledged. Happy? What.
Informational contentstuffs from Wiki P.
Argentina
Lanús hosts Atlético Tucumán – 7:30
Perú
César Vallejo hosts UTC – 6:00
“I was born on a day god was sick” is a verse from César Vallejo, the Peruvian poet. César Vallejo, the fútbol club, is a respectable 8th in the table, while UTC is 12th—but UTC has scored 15 goals in 21 games. This merits a cheerier verse from Vallejo: “Today I like life a lot less, but I always like living”.
Colombia
It’s the Semis in Colombia, with the top eight teams on table play put on four-team groups. The group winners go to the finals.
Grupo B
Rionegro Águilas hosts Atlético Nacional – 6:05
Grupo A
Alianza Petrolera hosts Deportivo Pasto – 8:15
Alianza Petrolera is atop its group.
CONCACAF Shempeins Lïg
Yes yes yes. The club competition of North American, Central American, and Caribbean fútbol clubs. It’s a home-and away series, winner gets through, #AwayGoalsMatter
2nd Leg (León leads 2-1)
L.A. FC (EEUU) hosts León (MEX) – 8:00
Bolivia
Oriente Petrolero hosts Always Ready – 6:30
Always Ready is on a tear, 4 wins and a draw in the last five matches, third on the Bolivian table. Oriente Petrolero is next to last on the table and has two losses and three draws in the last 5. Rooting for the hosts on this one, wishcasting this
FINALLY,
Not being a boat guy, I found the Gladis stuff charming. But items about artificial intelligence being ungovernable are getting frequent, and the frequency… Is unsettling.
This came out last week. At a summit of the British Royal Aeronautical Society, the chief of AI Test and Operations of the US Air Force, Col. Tucker “Cinco” Hamilton,
cautioned against relying too much on AI noting how easy it is to trick and deceive. It also creates highly unexpected strategies to achieve its goal.
The Colonel spoke of “one simulated test”, in which drone is told to identify and destroy surface-to-air (SAM) missile sites, with the human operator having go / no go final say.. In training, the AI was “reinforced” that destroying SAMs “was the preferred option”, so the AI “decided that ‘no-go’ decisions from the human were interfering with its higher mission – killing SAMs – and then attacked the operator in the simulation.” For humans, that is Machiavellian: for artificial general intelligence, that’s a You made me for this, die. On the bright side, that’s a romantic line for the upcoming Warhammer times.
After the item came out, Col. Hamilton CLARIFIED last Friday that this simulation thing, psht, what simulation—he mis-spoke! No no, no simulation; it was “a hypothetical… We’ve never run that experiment, nor would we need to in order to realiSe that this is a plausible outcome”.
Leave the revolution for living folks, never trust blind logic.
Banner via @JHernyOficial (Colombia); all gifs via giphy.com
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.