Sexy Friday – 20230616

TGIF! Happy indictment week everyone. Make a cursory check of your bathrooms for lost boxes and superfulous chandeliers.

Survival – Personal Edition

Feeling frisky? Ready to get out there and hit that dating scene again? While it will end in tears, here are a few tips to at least make sure it ends in tears with someone nice looking.

• Use flattering photos. Make sure to include a few with a dog and/or cat. If you’ve got any young nieces/nephews, post those as well.
• When talking about yourself, use euphemisms. For example, and this is totally hypothetical, instead of saying you’re unemployed you can describe yourself as looking for a new challenge.
• This doesn’t apply to any of us, but if you’re not, at least seem to be rich. In your ramblings about your likes include references to luxury products, cars, destinations, etc. Or just reword a recent Dok vacation.
• This also definitely doesn’t apply to anyone here, but seem interesting. Google what the hot trends are in hobbies, and list a few of those as your interests. Make sure to keep those browser tabs open so you can answer questions about those great interests of yours.
• Again, no applicable here, but seem cultured. Research the latest highbrow books, arts, music, and movies. Get familiar with the titles and cliff notes of a few and list them as recent influences on your viewpoint.
• Be positive. In the off chance you had a previous breakup, do not mention it. Do not allude to it. Your profile should read like you’ve never dated before.

Alright, that should be enough to get you going. Yes, the majority of your likes will be fatties, but look in the mirror sport. Also, remember you’re trying to date online for a reason, so keep those expectations in check. None of the ladies below are swiping on Bumble for a date.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!