Sexy Friday – 20230623

TGIF! And welcome one and all to summer! Hardwood draft is done and dusted, but next week is the ice draft! Scout your favoUrite berg to get prepared.

Survival – Personal Edition

I didn’t think this needed mentioning, but don’t climb into any submersible that isn’t certified. Can’t really get enough copy out of that, so let’s focus on something else. Ever get in the doghouse? Here’s some phrases that might make it better, or worse. Use your discretion!

  • “You look (cute / young / thin) when you’re mad”
  • “You know, we haven’t been to (partner’s favoUrite restaurant) in a while. Let’s go tonight!”
  • “I’m going to go (vacuum / cook / clean / do laundry / watch kids / etc). Why don’t you head to the spa with this certificate?”
  • “In the long run, this isn’t going to seem like such a big deal. We’ll probably laugh about it.”
  • “I got you (flowers / necklace / other jewelry) on the way home today.”
  • “The important thing is we still have each other.”
  • “It really feels like my mind was possessed these past few days. It’s so strange.”
  • Last resort: “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Let’s say you gave one of those a shot and it didn’t work, or it made things worse and now you have to sleep on the couch. Let’s go over some tips to make couch surfing a bit easier. This also works if you’re at a party overnight or an overcrowded VRBO with your friends.

  • Remove the back cushions if possible. This will give you a larger sleeping area.
  • Remove the arm cushions if possible. They’ll end up on the ground anyway and this will give you more room to stretch out.
  • If possible, flip the seat cushions and fluff the up a bit. This will give you a flatter sleeping surface.
  • Place a sheet over the seat cushions. This will protect you from the odoUrs of the cushions and the cushions from your drooling.
  • Use your usual pillow if possible. If not, use a pillow of some kind. This will keep you more comfortable and avoid neck pain.
  • Get a sheet or blanket to cover yourself with if the room is cool.
  • Lastly, place any cushions you removed on the floor next to the couch. These will catch up if you roll off the couch.

There you go! You can wake up all bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to tackle the day!

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!

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Mr. Ayo
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yeah right

Final Portuguese lesson:

As pessoas queram paz.

Brick Meathook

meu cu coça!

WCS

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1672463016586014720

Pierogi having a friendly sit-down with the deputy defense minister of the Southern Military District.

WCS

His boys took control of the District’s headquarters, from the video above. NOTE: not authenticated

Putin is going to make an emergency address to Russians. I’d say we’re reaching coup attempt.

This went to plaid in a hurry.

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yeah right

Holy shit. He brought the Dothraki!

2Pack

In typical Russian strong man MO it certainly looks like Putin has kept his best troops and equipment back to protect his azz.

Brick Meathook

I’ve always thought they were using Wagner convict troops as cannon fodder during the winter battle, each side in a mathematical war of attrition over a strategically nothing town. They were saving their best troops, training and equipping them for the spring offensive. However, I think Putin has a new problem now that Ukraine doesn’t.

yeah right

Never saw that coming.

This might get good.

WCS

CNN now saying the Russian Defense Ministry is deploying “anti-terrorist” measures in Moscow, while the Russkie FBI has issued a warrant for Pierogi.

yeah right

Dark and stormy with strong chance of pierogi!

yeah right

Happy Friday!

My bank delivered my Euros for my folding money in Portugal.

Shit’s coming together.

Brick Meathook

Watch the exchange rate on that, even from your own bank. I learned that working in Montreal the hard way.

yeah right

Got 515 Euros for 596 American.

Honestly this is my first time.

Is that good?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Doesn’t look like it. At the current exchange rate (1.09) you should have gotten more like 546.

Brick Meathook

That’s the prime rate. Nobody gets that. You have to compare traders to get the closest to that.

Brick Meathook

You live in L.A. and you can get the best rate here. Try offering to exchange US$1000 and see what you get. Exchange US$10,000 and you might get really close to prime. But you have to hand US$10,000 cash through a bulletproof slot and trust they give you anything back but a sneer.

Last edited 1 year ago by Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

If it’s just a vacation you want convenience so you pay the higher spread. But since you plan on retiring there you should look into exchange rates further. It’s actually not that mysterious.

Brick Meathook

I dunno, you have to look up the prime exchange rate (that only big banks get trading with each other). Your goal is to get as close to it as you can. The more convenient it is, the worse the spread. For example, in Montreal the rate I could get at my bank was terrible, but if I went out on St. Catherines Street there were exchange bureaus that would beat bank rates by 1%, sometimes 2%. Exchanging large amounts is always better, so 1% adds up fast.

yeah right

It was my local bank next to work and it was a lot more convenient than driving to a currency exchange bank.

Brick Meathook

Time is money. If you’ve got the pesos and you’re happy, you’re good to go my friend.

yeah right

Damn near got my bags packed mia amigo.

Last edited 1 year ago by yeah right
Brick Meathook

Vaya con Dios, mi amigo! (I don’t know it in Portuguese)

yeah right

Vamos La!

There will be photos.

yeah right

I’m only looking at 500 bucks for tips and beers and shit. Maybe a breakfast.

Brick Meathook

You did okay. Just info for the future.

2Pack

Yeah that is the going rate.

2Pack

1.0785 is the current rate for the on post Italian bank. So 1 euro costs 1.07 USD.

2Pack

Follow the money Buddy!

yeah right

One of these days I would really enjoy seeing this one cheese shop in Italy.

2Pack

Once you are over here, low season travel is easy. I think that can happen here in a few years Buddy.

Brick Meathook

Here’s another nice view of the vintage 1946 Winchester Model 70 .270 W.C.F. rifle I bought at auction for a great price. I don’t have it yet; it’s still in Idaho. They probably received the cashier’s check today, then they have to send it to my FFL in Torrance (and I have to pay them) and then I wait ten days, then I pick it up, then I go up on a rooftop and feel like God take it home and store it responsibly.

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yeah right

What’s the name of that weapon?!

Brick Meathook

Winchester Model 70. I don’t give girl’s names to weapons or vehicles. That’s just my way.

Brick Meathook

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yeah right

His name was 2.2 Fowler!

In death we have a name!

Brick Meathook

It says “2 ½ POWER”

herodotus450

Where were you when the Oblast fell?

WCS

https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/23/europe/russia-mod-wagner-yevgeny-prigozhin-intl/index.html

According to one official, this is a coup attempt. According to the Defense Ministry, it’s “informational provocation.”

So, yeah…

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SonOfSpam

FWIW Alexander Vindman’s twitter account has good info. This is s big thing, but completely unclear as to the consequences.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It holds great potential for Russians to be shooting other Russians, so it can’t be all bad.

SonOfSpam

Absolutely, dead Russians is good Russians.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Another fun thing is everyone referring to Priogozhin as “Pringles”.

ballsofsteelandfury

I would have gone with “perogies”.

WCS

Yeah, but, you know.. nukes and such…

2Pack

Wifey knows sleeping on the couch is not a suitable punishment for me. I think its like camping.

SonOfSpam

Especially with you making s’mores on the coffee table.

2Pack

Most coffee tables make excellent, aged dry, fire wood. Hardly any smoke.

Brick Meathook

I got punished by having to sleep with the dog on his couch, and I developed a better relationship with the dog than with her. Me and Frankie were just a couple of interspecies homos for each other.

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yeah right

Cushion fort!

2Pack

I am coming in for a landing with lady number 15 tonight. As usual – complimente Mr. Ayo.

Last edited 1 year ago by 2Pack
Brick Meathook

I don’t always drink beer, but when I do I prefer Sapporo.

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SonOfSpam

“Oh, fuck off.”

-B. Parcells or maybe Brian Cox

Brick Meathook

Here’s the shit Polaroid shots I took with my SX-70. It’s not me (of course not) or the camera, it’s this shitty modern SX-70 film.

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SonOfSpam

Those Polish bastards can’t make good film.

(assuming Polaroid is short for Polish Hemorrhoid)

2Pack

Do film shops still do decent business? I would guess outside of camera enthusiast’s that business has gone way down.

Brick Meathook

It’s consolidated to a few but they do okay. When I worked for Eastman Kodak it was a component of the Dow Jones Industrial Average; five years later they were bankrupt, and it was their own fault. They invented their demise yet let it get away to the competition. It’s a jungle out there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Um, stuff.

Brick Meathook

dude

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

2Pack

Ciao. Morning pre run coffee time.

Brocky

Gotta say, this reddit api nonsense has me worried for my future sexy friday contributions. I hardly ever use my laptop anymore, and I browse exclusively on 3rd party

Here ls some more, gotta burn through the catalog

Spoiler

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ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit that first one!

2Pack

Grazie. They all look like their underwear is fun ta wear.

Doktor Zymm

Doors closing and taking off soon. I assume the hull of this aircraft will easily survive the low pressures at altitude because it is a standard A380 which has passed safety certifications as well as preflight checks and such.

WCS

Any billionaires and their children on board?

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think so! If so they’re cheapskates

SonOfSpam

Long as the pilot isn’t using a wireless Logitech joystick, you should be good.

Brocky

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Brick Meathook

At most there is a 6 PSI pressure differential at altitude. That little sub cracked at a differential of about 5500 PSI.

SonOfSpam

Very briefly, those guys got to see what their insides looked like.

King Hippo

I wonder if, just for a second…they thought they were gonna need to take a yuuuuugggge shit.

Brick Meathook

They never knew anything happened. Instantly every molecule in their bodies was separated and freed back to nature. That was like sitting next to an atom bomb when it detonated.

Brocky

Ladies and gentlemen….

Alina Semjonov:

Spoiler

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King Hippo

GOOD JERB, them’s great shoulders.

smacks Brocky on the ass. HARD.

BugEyedBoo

Didn’t notice that she even had shoulders.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m actually more impressed with the bathing suits than with Alina.

And that’s really saying something because Alina is gorgeous!

2Pack

I need to get back to the beach.

Doktor Zymm

Where’s my predeparture champagne??

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

We have a severe peanut allergy passenger, but CHAMPAGNE NO HAS PEANUTS IN IT

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Ah, here it is
Cheers and happy Friday!

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
SonOfSpam

They were about to see Karen Zymm.

BugEyedBoo

There’s such a thing as peanut butter whiskey, why not peanut butter champagne? Perhaps a 2023 Georges W. Sculpteur, an unassuming little goober of a vintage.

Doktor Zymm

Well yeah, they didn’t wear yoga pants while drinking their champagne in the 50’s

2Pack

You only get the complementary bottle of water if they are running criminally late.

Doktor Zymm

Dude wearing a Facebook bootcamp t-shirt sitting a row away, but don’t think I know him thank glod. He just looks familiar in that sorta tech bro way

Doktor Zymm

Chatted to a super nice Irish guy in the lounge, now boarding

King Hippo

is he a leprechaun?? DID U CHECK

Doktor Zymm

Motorbike leprechaun

King Hippo

ach! Ze craftiest!!

Brick Meathook

Check that you still have all your belongings.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Brick Meathook

LIFE HACK: I have paid subscriptions to The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and The Washington Post. Normally they are each about $20/month, sometimes with extra fees. But if you ask them to cancel the subscription, they automatically offer the intro rate of $4-$5 per month for a year, and the NYT includes the crossword with that. After the year is up and they raise the rate, go online and cancel. If they balk at giving the intro rate again tell them to go ahead and cancel it. They will give you the intro rate.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been doing this with the NYT, quality tip

Brick Meathook

One day soon, I’m going to get on the L.A light rail Metro and just ride the hell out of it.

King Hippo

Boots. On. The. GROUND!

Brick Meathook

I need a companion(s). We’ll bring a flask, cameras, and a gun.

King Hippo

This idea just might hang together.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll join you!

Doktor Zymm

Cheers to LA’s efforts to improve public transit!

Doktor Zymm

The daybed couch I bought for Chicago has been great, even now that I have a real bed set up there (tatami mats and futon) it’s just a really comfy place for watching tv and entertaining.

Redshirt

Holy shit, Reds!!!

Uh, the Cincinnati baseball team but Russia also for different reasons

King Hippo

/taps foot in Tetris Man

Doktor Zymm

I’m amazed people haven’t made more ‘Red Scare’ jokes over the years.

BugEyedBoo

I remember hearing them called Redleds when I was a kid. My papaw would call them that, and the announcers would say it a lot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some very weird shit is going down in Russia right now.

King Hippo

So weird that it’s weird even for RUSSIA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not specifically a prediction, but the tingle I felt in my Spidey sense wasn’t my imagination…

Screenshot_20230623_175729_Chrome.jpg
Doktor Zymm

I mean, from the very moment a few months ago when I heard ‘mercenary leader’ I knew there would be trouble. The whole ‘openly criticizing Putin while flaunting success in Kherson’ thing only confirmed my intuition. Now we sit back and watch the fireworks!

Ps: This is also a great opportunity to make lots of jokes about Rasputin’s dick

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know if it is that weird. The Wagner guy is trying to eliminate his competition for Putin’s favour. Once he does that, his plan is to gently suggest that Putin retire and let him run the country. Russia loves a strongman, so the citizens will love him.

The only question, really, is what will his attitude be towards the West. He’s a mercenary, so my feeling is that he’ll want to do business with the West instead of trying to destroy it. He has no philosophical or historical ties to any ideology besides money.

Brick Meathook

It’s a submarine world!

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King Hippo

WHO IS JOHN GALT??

Redshirt

https://www.cnn.com/europe/live-news/russia-ukraine-war-news-06-23-23/index.html

Someone tell Satan to warm up the pitchforks because I think the fat lady’s warming up for Putin.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s wonderful

Brick Meathook

A civil war in Russia? What could go wrong?

King Hippo

I made the strategic decision to live 10 miles-ish from a major nukular plant FOAR A REASON. Shit all goes down, I’ll be happily and instantly vapoUrized.

Brick Meathook

Unfortunately, 10 miles is just slightly too far away. You will die a slower, considerably more painful death.

King Hippo

Well, merde. I shoulda done the maths, I guess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[runs over to Ikea]

“Yes, I’d like to know where I can find the stånga I saw in your ad?”

ballsofsteelandfury

Did I guess the Request Line puzzle?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You did not. I’d answered it earlier in the thread; it was “Scorpio Rising” by Death in Vegas featuring Liam Gallagher.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My go-to when I’m in the doghouse is “would you just relax?”

Game Time Decision

I’m sure that goes over well

King Hippo

Just like the old standby “a good fuck would set you right” or “what, are you on the rag or sommet?”

scotchnaut

“Nice.”

-Franky Goes To Hollywood

King Hippo

Landing strip = CLASS

ballsofsteelandfury

Excellent selection this week, sir!

ballsofsteelandfury

Commenting: check!
Drinking: (looks at empty Malibu Rum Piña Colada can) check!