Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

First things first: I don’t think TayTay will be at the game but the parents will be! Hurrah!

T’was a fairly entertaining Sunday if I say so myself-let’s dig in.

Fallout:

-Nice Bench You Got There: Mind if I have a seat? This is Milf Lover’s third sitting down in just over a calendar year. Is this another, “He just needs to figure things out and he’ll be back” scenario? Nope. Finally Saleh has seen the light so Siemien is holding the tablet when Tim Boyle starts sucking. I’m guessing you’ll see Trevor soon enough because the 29 yr old Boyle puts the ‘barely adequate’ into journeyman. He’s not a pocket escape artist and his yards per attempt in three starts and 16 appearances sits at 5.1.

-The 4-6 Falcons (2nd in the NFC South!) are determined to get middling results the rest of the way by putting middling qb Ridder back under center. There just aren’t nearly enough good qb’s to support this league.

-Whiff of Joe Judge: “I have full confidence…in myself as the playcaller. So you can stop asking that question.” Telling reporters to shut up is certainly the sign of a man completely in charge/on top of a situation. (I don’t want to be fair to the bum but the Chargers wr’s dropped 4 passes that I saw)

-We’ve used this space to talk about Tomlin’s weird mofo but what about Stefanski’s? How did the Browns get to 7-3? They seem more like 4-6 to me. Watson wasn’t setting the world on fire before his injury, he was actually kinda lousy. And then yesterday Down To Run ugly-ed up the place something fierce and yet got the W. I guess something always has to stink in Cleveland.

To The Game!

Eagles/Chiefs:

-If you don’t have a fantasy guy in this game you’re likely straddling last place in your league. (I very nearly resemble that remark)

-Good Old Stat Updated: With his team resting for a week (regular and post-season) Andy’s record now stands at 31-6.

-Of course look for the “Brotherly Shove”. It gets quite a bit of attention but any play in any sport that is 90% successful should be highlighted.

-Trench Warfare: The Eagles o-line is 2nd (PFF tells us) in pass-blocking efficiency but Chiefs DC Spags mirrors that-his unit is 2nd in pressure rate at 28.2%. It’s defending the run which is K.C.’s problem.

-Top Heavy (but not like Marika): No Chiefs ball-grabber aside from Kelce and Rice have over 280 yards receiving. That means that the 3rd leading receiver averages 31.1 yards a game. Oof!

Go get ’em!

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WCS

MATT CANADA OFFICIALLY EXILED TO MATT MADAGASCAR

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I wish for the Kansas City Chiefs to have the exact same record as the Cleveland Browns.

MONKEY’S PAW: [curls]

Brick Meathook

Was it this guy?

comment image

Doktor Zymm

I forgot about the I-95 piece!

Gumbygirl

Neckbeard. This guy is the Antisexy!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
2Pack

His infrastructure is crumbling.

2Pack

I suspect he craves attention.

hippofant

Haha, they fucking triple-teamed Kelce on the MVS drop:

https://twitter.com/Foxworth24/status/1726818313844773067

fleshwound_NPG

aw shit thats fucking GOLD

theyre getting PUNKED in january

Doktor Zymm

Setting: Eagles defensive strategy meeting
“so, how about we just cover the shit out of the one guy who can actually catch?”
“Good idea, meeting dismissed, shit this could have been an email”

Col. Duke LaCross

Kadarius Toney walked so MVS and Justin Watson could run, and drop the ball.

Rashee Rice has good hands, but Mahomes only throw him the ball 2 or 3 times a game.

Horatio Cornblower

Cheifs receiving corps is kind of ass.

King Hippo

Ass that even Balls wants no part of!

fleshwound_NPG

bears have a better one by default with dj moore. amazingly terrible.

AND coordinated by matt nagy. whatever afc team gets hot in the winter is gonna punk them

fleshwound_NPG

the best team in the league lost to a team quarterbacked by zach wilson

you cannot trust a motherfucker this year

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tom Brady doesn’t understand why Mahomes isn’t verbally and/or physically abusing his teammates right now.

WCS

4th and 26? NFL BLITZ!

King Hippo

I knew yinz wouldn’t let us down!

Slaps ass. HARD!!

hippofant

lololololololol

fleshwound_NPG

if i was a def coordinator and i saw them call that, next play id call “dive at his knees, lets see the league and corporations make commercials and money off a QB with one or zero functional knees. we’ll pass the collection plate around for the fine.”

fleshwound_NPG

and the ghost of buddy ryan would protect me, forevercomment image

Doktor Zymm

It’s kind of neat that there’s 2:20 left and I legit feel like there could be anywhere from 0-3 scoring drives remaining

Doktor Zymm

And zero it is!

Redshirt

Eagles Offense: “They can only stop the Tush Push if they get low to the ground.”
Fans: “They can only stop the Tush Push if they get low to the ground.”
Chiefs Defense (singing): “I believe I can fly…”

fleshwound_NPG

a matt nagy offense wasting a great defensive effort? nope, never happened before

Horatio Cornblower

Andy Reid hasn’t been this upset about a call since The Frying Dutchman made the call to do away with ‘All You Can Eat’ night.

Gumbygirl

That huge nekkid Iggles fan has the Philly Phanatic tattooed on his big ole belly. I wonder if he has Gritty on his titty?

Horatio Cornblower

I believe he had Gritty just to the right of the Phanatic.

Gumbygirl

There was so much jiggling going on, and so much ink it was hard to tell! And I was mesmerized by his complete lack of neck, and all around Schmoo shape. That is a lot of man!

Game Time Decision

Think the mouth was his bellybutton

Gumbygirl

Yeah, it was spectacular!

Doktor Zymm

Even jumping offsides doesn’t defeat the Tushing ability of the Iggles!

fleshwound_NPG

ass down

WCS

” – 1″

— Balls, CA

Gumbygirl

Ass UP. Face down, ass up.

hippofant

Wtf Eagles, you’ve had success running the ball the last couple quarters, and now you’re gonna fucking bubble screen it TWICE IN A ROW deep in your own half? That was some stupid-ass Andy Reid-esque playcalling.

WCS

Andy can’t believe it took him until earlier today to think of barbeque cheesesteak.

fleshwound_NPG

“a mcrib cheesesteak? why didnt i think of this when i was in philly!”

2Pack

Ciao tutti. Not exactly a shoot out goin on huh folks.

WCS

Tay-Tay now giving off Jessica Simpson vibes.

2Pack

She needs more Marika like heavy vibe. I’d like to see a Tay Tay – Marika cat fight. In oil would be nice. Winner takes on Jessica.

2Pack

I met her doing escorts duty for a USO tour that stopped in here. Maybe I caught her in a bag mood but she came across as stuck up. Bob Derek was nice, her sister who was her assistant was even nicer. Took her to a kick ass pizzaria.

fleshwound_NPG

sudden and swift change!

Gumbygirl

I haven’t forgotten nor forgiven that Vick tortured dogs. That’s not the kind of thing that I’m willing to chalk up to young and dumb.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s also the whole “giving herpes to people” thing.

WCS

We’ll know if Tay-Tay lurks here when a new single about BLEERGH is surprise dropped on Thanksgiving.

Redshirt

We would’ve had a “No Pants, No Problem” song by now if she was one of us.

Doktor Zymm

Oh I might even listen to that and I don’t like her sound