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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The Things We Do For Friends

Senor Weaselo

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So, one of my good friends from where I did my Master’s is originally from the Buffalo area, so naturally, is a giant Bills fan. So, in the spirit of cheering her up after Sunday night, here are some of the better jokes from everyone’s favorite moment Sunday night! (I guess also cheering up the good Reverend, but he just seems comfortably numb.) Also, Tree’s finally posted something on it.

Buffalo playing for the field goal has never gone wrong before. -BeerGuyRob
—Wide right -LITRE FUCKING CALLED IT.

THESE ANTI-CLUTCH BUFFALO KICKS, I CALL THEM GIVING PRAISE TO THE LORD BECAUSE THEY ARE RIGHT AND JUST -MEEEEEE

And lo, did the Bills Mafia raise their voices in a unified cry of agony and despair that shook the skies and broke all the tables
”OH FUCK NOT AGAIN!” -Petronel

At least it saved Buffalo fans a more ignominious defeat.
Oh sorry, Buffalo fans. That means next week’s loss woulda felt like getting yer balls punched by your least hot cousin. -SonOfSpam

ESPN says that both tonight’s missed kick and Norwood’s famous miss were from 44 yards out.
https://youtu.be/-b5aW08ivHU -Maestro

And of course, the banner:

Did they build Buffalo’s stadium on an Indian burial ground, or at least slightly to the right of one? -Horatio

Shit, I said cheering her up. She’s gonna kill me next time she’s in the city, and that was after taking my side on shit with one of her best friends.

Oh well. Here’s the news!

Well played, Mauer. And also, Todd Helton and Adrian Beltre.

–Don T’s MOST GLORIOUS TITS finalize their hires/promotions. Ran Carthon is EVP/GM, Chad Brinker is president of football operations, and Brian Callahan is the new coach.

-Joe Barry OUT as Packers DC.

-Last minute Senor on break during his gig news: Harbaugh to the BOLTMEN.

-In Marble League Rolldown news, Greg Woods would be a solid Marbula One racer, as he managed a third (only behind Red Eye the GOAT and Iceberg) in a Patreon one-off race. WHILE DOING COMMENTARY.

And now, sports!

Iceball
Vichy Scourge vs. Beary Bear (CAR vs. BOS, 7:30, TNT)
BEDARD BEDARD vs. Contractually Obligated Releasing the Kraken (CHI vs. SEA, 10:00, TNT)

Various Latin American Footy
Sudamericano (pre-Olympic Edition) Peru vs. Argentina (in progress, FS2)
Sexy Mexy: Call of Juarez vs. South Side (of Mexico City) Story (FC Juarez vs. América, 10:00, FS2)

BRING BACK ROUNDBALL ROCK
Charles Barkley’s Lack of Rings vs. Still Laughing at the N-GCP (PHX vs. DAL, 8:30, ABC)
Still Not the Bombers vs. Wemby & Acquaintances (Not Pals) (OKC vs. SAS, 9:30, ESPN)

JV STILL NOT ROUNDBALL ROCK
Friar Tucks vs. YARRR (Providence vs. Seton Hall, in progress, FS1)
Fightin’ Rubin Carters vs. Hunchbacks (Miami vs. Notre Dame, 7:00, ESPN2)
Iron Hoops Bowl (#8 Auburn vs. Alabama, 7:30, ESPN)
“Hey, they’re not ranked, maybe this’ll be a win!” Pre-Knicks vs. Fightin’ Weaselos (Villanova vs. St. John’s, 8:30, FS1)
Nothing clever for K-State vs. #23 Iowa State (9:00, ESPN2)
Tweaker matchup! JV RAM IT vs. Cursed Wolven Sort (#24 Colorado St. vs. Nevada)

Meanwhile, I’ll be on night 4 of 4 nights of gigs, so I’ll pop by later on.

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WCS

Terrific night. Technology is…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8

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Brick Meathook

Here’s the opening scene to “Two-Lane Blacktop”

If this doesn’t get your dick and/or nipples hard, we need to take you to a doctor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kclrRTgXfrY

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WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E-UtqFIMos

Another DC to LA transplant. Utterly filthy bass line.

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Brick Meathook

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yeah right

So we’ve reached a transition at work.

My number one is retiring on Friday after 23 years of working together.
We’ve gone through every life event imaginable together.
I’m happy as hell for him, especially since his wife is still working and makes huge bank.
I’m promoting number three into a lead position.
He’s earned it.
He’s a Worker.

I’m grooming him to take over my spot when I retire. He’s a captain now.

He’s going to be so good at this.

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Sharkbait

You need to send him the I’m the captain now gif immediately

4
WCS

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WCS

I don’t follow the NBA, but the Bucks won the championship two years ago. They’re on their third head coach since then?

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Sharkbait

That seems bad

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WCS

Yinzer are stuck with me overnight. I’d post Huey & the News, but that was already taken. In this thread, we follow the Blair Witch rules.

Leading off tonight is a callback to earlier today’s Merkin Vineyards and Caduceus Cellars:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9acDoDUnEdg

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SonOfSpam

“Tool”

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Sharkbait

I’ll be in Pittsburgh at Patrick’s day weekend. Tasty beverages?

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WCS

This Patrick doesn’t do that any longer. However, I’ll drink your coffee instead.

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Sharkbait

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WCS

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I like the graveyard shit (shift?), but not a fan when EVERYTHING has to reset simultaneously.

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Sharkbait

Overnights in broadcasting was the worst. When shit would go down we played our favorite game of: Is it Maintenance or an Outage???

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WCS

Contemporary verbiage is “Is it a feature or a unintended consumer experience?”

2
yeah right

We had a 50K watt Sunrise to sunset broadcast station back in the day when I worked in radio.

You have to pot it down in California to allow the broadcast from Mexico have their time.

There may have been pirate radio broadcasts with our own albums bumping shit that hit the AM radio dial at 50K directional broadcast but that was probably just a myth.

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2Pack

As a supervisor I had to take annual refresher training yesterday on Time and Attendance validation procedures on the website. They call it “T&A” training and I giggle and have inappropriate thoughts whenever they do.

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Sharkbait

Ball hockey is a terrible mistress. Allowing 4 goals should be an automatic win.

In other news everything hurts and I need a beer.

3
Gumbygirl

Earthquake just now.

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Gumbygirl

They’re saying 4.5, big jolt here in Riverside. Scared the shit out of the pets, house shook for a couple of seconds.

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Brick Meathook

Wait, there was an earthquake in Southern California? I didn’t feel a thing.

Of course at the alleged time I was asleep, on the floor, under the bed, still high & drunk from a birthday celebration of medically discouraged yet highly enjoyable combination of alcohol & prescription opiates. I was also holding a plastic scale model airplane in my hand at the time (I’m still trying to figure out what the hell was up with that last part).

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Gumbygirl

Be careful with that, my darling dear. Two words: Karen Ann Quinlan!

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Brick Meathook

The airplane?

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Gumbygirl

Maybe that is her current form? We are all merely stardust. It’s pretty groovy, when you think about it, man.

1
Brick Meathook

Naw, I’m dreaming of my old girlfriends, and I think that I fucked it up and I could have been a better person. Then I remember my late dog Frankie, and I realize that I was a pretty good guy.

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ballsofsteelandfury

My alert said 4.2 with epicenter in San Bernardino.

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Gumbygirl

Yeah, they downgraded it a bit. I’m pretty sure there was a 4.2 the last time I was over here, a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s me?

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2Pack

Evening folks. Noticed the rating is at 4.3. DFO is very responsive to comments apparently.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So we’re going to try to do vegetarian Wednesdays here in the Deadly household and the first such instance is blessedly almost over.

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Doktor Zymm

There’s loads of good veggie stuff though, quiche and channa masala are a couple of my favorites

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Gumbygirl

I make stuffed peppers with couscous, spinach, sun dried tomatoes, Kalamatas, and some other stuff that are delicious. Eggplant parm, made the right way, is great too. I didn’t eat red meat for about 15 years, just poultry and seafood occasionally. I have tons of veggie recipes, but I could never give up cheese. Wouldn’t want to, cheese is life.

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Doktor Zymm

That sounds delicious!

I am with you on the cheese thing. I’ve made myself a cheese plate for dinner before, so good

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ballsofsteelandfury

Why don’t you just call it “Indian Night” and go to the place down the street from you?

1
yeah right

Man, I’m 5 days a week vegetarian still because the weekends make that breaking the fast thing even that much more delicious.

You can do one day a week. So many options.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Who keeps giving 4 stars for the post?

And trying to block a few hours off tomorrow during work to read the next installment of Tay tay on the clock

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I blame fat fingers. It’s happened to me more than once.

1
Gumbygirl

I hit the last star to see if it would make it go to 5, but it only went up a 10th of a point.

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WCS

Mine didn’t do shit.

Further proof I’m useless.

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Doktor Zymm

I got a fancy Staub 7.5 quart Dutch oven in a post-holiday clearance sale. What’s the first thing I should cook in it?

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ArmedandHammered

Pot roast.

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Doktor Zymm

I’ve actually never made a pot roast before, could be fun to try!

1
BugEyedBoo

Recipe off the top of my head. Chopped onion, carrot, celery, and a bottle of red wine. Brown the roast in the Dutch oven, throw the ingredients in, and put it in the oven for three hours or however long you want.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Try not to eat it after hour 2

1
BugEyedBoo

Okay, the fancy version,

https://sweetandsavorymeals.com/red-wine-pot-roast-recipe/

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. just bought a Lodge braiser, also on clearance. It looks very nice, and I’m not looking forward to breaking her heart when I tell her we’re going to have to get rid of something – anything – in order to make room for it to fit in our cabinet.

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Doktor Zymm

Mine is gonna live in/on the stove. It’s seriously heavy, 17 lbs. It could beat up most of my other cookware

1
Gumbygirl

My big cast iron skillet lives happily on a burner. I lavish it with attention like it’s a Rolls Royce. It’s name is Precious.

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Do you say the name like Golem does?

1
Gumbygirl

Yes!

1
yeah right

Chili is a good way to break it in. Show it who’s boss.

5
yeah right

This one in particular. Will also satisfy some of the pot roast cravings at the same time.

https://doorfliesopen.com/2015/08/02/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-texas-chili-yee-haw-i-am-fucking-hungry/

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Doktor Zymm

Yes! And the fritos with it, choice

2
Don T

revolution
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Gumbygirl

I have a very much not Staub Dutch oven that Gumby’s Grandma gave me early on. I am very attached to it. I would make beef stew or maybe coq au vin. Now I’m starving.

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Sharkbait

Vermouth braised short ribs from the NYT. that recipe is excellent

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just watched someone try and walk up a down escalator (not intentionally) so current faith in humanity confirmed.

4
Gumbygirl

Holy shit, the Feds spanked Boeing hard. Good.

3
Doktor Zymm

They need to get their shit together, although apparently the $1.2 billion they’ve been paying out from the MCAS issues wasn’t enough to do it so I don’t know that anything this time will really help

1
Mr. Ayo

As mentioned, I am contractually obligated to Release the Kraken.

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Redshirt

“Contractually obligated”? It started out as a privilege but now it sounds like a chore.

Has the spark between you and the Kraken disappeared?

1
Mr. Ayo

Technically the contract obligation is to pay them an obscene amount of money. In return I have the rights of Releasing.

4
Doktor Zymm

At least it’s just money and they don’t make you muck out the Kraken enclosures while they’re out

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Gumbygirl

Krak is whack.

1
Redshirt

.

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Redshirt

…and in a complete surprise, the Bengals went with their QB coach as OC. Turns out increasing Jake Browning’s Madden rating by 15 points and getting out of Joe Burrow’s way was beneficial to his career.

Now if we can fire the OL coach for putting yet another dent in the Franchise’s fender and isolate the frequency of Zac Taylor’s play calling headset, we’ll be set to begin the ‘24 Revenge Tour.

2
King Hippo

Mike Brown doesn’t have to pay a relocation package, so this really is win-win all around.

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herodotus450

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ArmedandHammered

Thinks you would have thought you would ever say: “I have a really strong craving for Brazil nuts”.

1
herodotus450

Biggest YIKES of the year award goes to: Michigan Men, right about now.

1
WCS

The Canadian hawkey administration wishes that were the case.

6
Redshirt

Getting out of Dodge before the NCAA brings down the hammer? All this talk about being the next Bo Schembechler and he ends up the next Pete Carroll.

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Doktor Zymm

I hope this is a real curse

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King Hippo

Good gosh golly, what a fun Owl Ratbirds v. FUCK LioUns would be!

7
ArmedandHammered

Never happen, remember we are not allowed nice things.

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Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I think that’s the best possible remaining matchup

1
Redshirt

Confirmed. He is the football version of the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique.

4
King Hippo

I don’t think it is possible to cheer up a Bills fan, so re-directing her white-hot RAGE was a nice piece of friendery. GOOD JERB!!

2
Senor Weaselo

I will let you know of her response if I ever get one.

Or she’s flown cross-country to murder me, which would be unfortunate.

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