TGIF! I was going to do a Groundhog Day spoof and just reuse last week’s post with a new title and intro, but it’s already been done.
Survival – Personal Edition
Today, we’re going to learn how make a bow and some arrows. Why buy when you’re surrounded by free wood?
- We’re going to need three (3) sticks to start. These sticks need to be of uniform thickness (not exact, but close), and between 2 and 4 feet long. You want a light, sturdy wood like bamboo, pine, ash, willow, or elm. Also consider what thickness is appropriate. Too thick and the bow will have to much resistance for your puny arms, too little and you might as well just skip to the arrows part and throw them yourself. Which again, won’t be useful with your puny arms.
- Time to cut the sticks to size. First, let’s make the longest one, which should be between 3 and 4 feet. The next one should be 3/4 the length of the first one, and the shortest one should be 1/2 the length of the first. So 4, 3, and 2 feet at the longest.
- Let’s bind the bows. Lay the shortest stick next to the longest one. Center the short stick so the ends are equidistant from the long stick’s ends. Secure them together using strong tape or rope. Lay the middle length stick on the side opposite the short one, again centering it on the long stick. Bind it to the other two using that strong tape or rope. Make a notch on each end of the long stick. This notch will be 1 inch from the end, and on the side of the short stick. This notch will anchor the bowstring, so make it as wide as that.
- Speaking of, let’s make that bowstring. You’ll a need a strong cord or braided twine, cut to about the length of the bow. You can test the strength of the bowstring by standing on one end, and pulling up on the other end. If there’s any stretch, braid in other cord. Tie a non-slip knot on one end of the bowstring.
- Drape that loop over the top of the bow and slide it below the notch you put there. Now tie the other end to the bottom of the bow, using the notch down there, using whatever standard know you prefer. Bend the bow until you can slip the top of the bowstring into the notch, then release. The bow should now be properly flexed and look like a bow.
- Now we just some ammo, aka arrows. This is easier, but you have to do it a bunch of times. Round up a bunch of straight branches. These need to be at least 2 inches longer than the distance between the bow and the bowstring when flexed. These branches need to be dried out before use. Hang them up in some kind of shelter or from a tree for 2 days in an arid climate to accomplish this. Once dried, whittle one end to a as sharp a tip as you can manage. On the other end cut a notch as wide and as deep as the bowstring.
- Time for the fletching! That’s the fins on the back of the arrow, pervert, not what you were thinking. We’re going to use duct tape for this process. Cut three lengths of the tape to 6 inches. If you’re tight on tape, you can get away with 4 inches if you’re a sharp shooter. Bend one length into a U shape with the adhesive facing outwards. Attach the curve of the U to the back of your arrow right next to the base of the notch cut there. Repeat with the other 2, spacing them 1/3 of the way around the arrow. Press the tape flaps together at the top, and continue downwards to the base of the U. When finished you should have 3 fins and the base of those fins should cover the entire arrow. Now trim those fins so the rear of the fins by the notch are the tallest, and the front tapers down to the arrow.
Now get to shooting those arrows at whatever you want, you earned it! When doing target practice, number each arrow before shooting. Keep notes for each because each arrow is going to behave a bit differently.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
Spam is getting lucky in hearts, so I assume that means he’s unlucky in love.
HEY
I can be unlucky in many things
And I think you won, so fuck off lonely boy
Always shoot the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll get a shit-ton of points, which is a bad thing.
I did not meet up with Dok today – transit was fucked, so it was safest for her to head back to the aeroport. ’twas a tragedy.
I don’t want to up or down that. We need a WICHITA button.
Playing against Balls at Yahtzee, he has two Yahtzees already
NAWT FAIR
Dude, that was the luckiest game EVER!!
I was crushed more than Melania on her wedding night
😂🤣
We had a decent hand of hearts yesterday. Thought I could shoot the moon for a second but better thoughts prevailed.
Greetings from a soggy LA.
So I just saw the new Paramount ad on the social medias, and I have no idea what in the fuck I just witnessed. For those scoring at home:
Tua can’t throw a grappling hook, because it’s not football shaped. So Sir Patrick Stewart recommends the next closest football shaped thing, one Arnold Shortman due to his head. Tua rightfully refused, so, and I need to double check my notes… Patrick Stewart throws Arnold, while singing Creed.
Once again, I’d like to confirm that the lovely teas in Senorita Weaselo’s collection are not hallucinogenic.
I enjoyed it immensely. Probably because throwing children into a cliff is funny.
Lady number 8 is a sight treat that we literally get daily.
He is an old barracks wall locker decoration, my humble contribution to our noble cause here.
Haha, I expected you to mention her.
Seriously Bro, on foot, bike or Vespa the ladies like to dress for us like that. No Walmart sweatpants and hoodie crap accepted.
To honor the memory of Carl Weathers, here’s the famous Apollo escape tower test:
Nailed it!
Many things escaped from that rocket. I call it a success!
This was a test in Southern California where they put an escape tower on a mock-up Apollo capsule and launched it on a small “Little Joe” booster. The plan was to trigger the escape tower to activate from a radio signal from the ground. Well, the Little Joe’s fins were configured wrong and it began to rotate, something it was never designed to do, and it started to break up. The escape tower automatically triggered itself to light off and pull the mock-up capsule away, exactly as it was designed to do.
The test was considered a success.
I was wondering about all the rotation there on the little Joe. They did some of that testing at White Sands NM.
You are correct, the test flight was in New Mexico, not California.
Us space nerds know things.
Word.
This didn’t happen, because someone didn’t throw in the towel!
Ruff week?
I’m aware I’m not financially in the same timezone of probably all of yinz, but holy hell that’s an impressive set up.
My bar consists of a bottle of Jameson, 4 small cans of 7-Up, and tap water.
I would have bet on bourbon and branchwater
Good Lord, Dunstan, it’s like you think I’m a John Birch Society member. You could not be more wrong.
Jamo is what is in front of buster. Yes I drank it.
It is a collection from 20 years. Zymm. DON t, Balls, BFC, Sharkey have contributed to the randomness. I don’t drink a lot of spirits, I hammer wine so it doesn’t go anywhere
Ngl lie, I assumed that this was a meme, not your actual dog.
Pug life
That is Buster. Oxipug passed away 10 days after Deci was born. I reckon he waited.
Just made myself a Fort Point from this morning’s post — seems like a winner!
He looks pissed off.
WHADDAYAWANT?
He is never angry, except when you touch his paws.
Or when he’s had a ruff day behind the bar
BOOP!
I would kill each and every one of you if that redhead told me to (while batting her eyelashes). Same for the scuba diver.
Ah sure would feel bad about it, though.
(disembodied voice of Ron Howard): “He wouldn’t.”
Hi, I’m here for the belated Apollo Creed Memorial Post!
/Because of Rocky IV, you know
Mr. Ayo, you are on the clock
2 minutes! All of my exes would love that.
Speaking of two minutes,
I just had to login to make this comment!
Just did it
Alright troglodytes, last Saturday I was trying to post the women in the royal rumble, since there was a massive delay in posting, most of my pics weren’t seen, so I’m just gonna post them here again
Entrant #1: Natalya
Entrant
#2: Naomi
Entrant #3: Bayley
Entrant #4: Candice LeRae
Entrant #5: Jordynne Grace
Entrant #6: Indi Hartwell
Entrant #7: Asuka
Entrant #8: Ivy Nile
Entrant #9: Katana Chance
Entrant #10: Bianca Belair
Entrant #11: Kairi Sane
Entrant #12: Tegan Nox
Entrant #13: Kayden Carter
Entrant #14: Chelsea Green
Entrant #15: Piper Niven
Entrant #16: Xia Li
Entrant #17: Zelina Vega
Entrant #18: Maxxine Dupri
Entrant #19: Nia Jax
Entrant #20: Shotzi
Entrant #21: Becky Lynch
Entrant #22: Alba Fyre
Entrant #23: Shayna Baszler
Entrant #24: Valhalla
Entrant #25: Michin
Entrant #26: Zoey Stark
https://i.postimg.cc/W3Xt7TwF/RDT-20240127-2045572425621865122941143.webp
Entrant #27: Roxanne Perez
Entrant #28: jade cargill
Entrant #29: Tiffany Stratton
Entrant #30: Liv Morgan
Bonus!
And your winner is…
#3 Bayley! Is super pumped for next weeks game
Extras
Entrant #26:
Zoey Stark
Entrant #31: Gigi Dolin
Entrant #32: Charlotte Flair
Entrant #33: Dakota Kai
Entrant #34: Nikkita Lyons
Entrant #35: Raquel Rodriguez
Entrant #36: Sasha Banks
Entrant #37: Scarlett
Entrant #38: Trish Stratus
Entrant #39: Lola Vice
https://i.postimg.cc/LXBcmt8h/FB-IMG-
1706759145904.jpg
Entrant #40: Maryse
Entrant #41: Iyo Sky
Entrant #42: Rhea Ripley
Entrant #43: Bonus Liv Morgan
Good God!
Which one has your attention?
I mean, I’m gonna guess either Gigi or Nikita,
But Raquel’s thigh gap is doing it for me
Sasha forever
Gigi Dolin and Nikkita Lyons
I’d let Ivy pin me.
Due to Facebook memories, i know on this day 10 years ago, two things happened:
1. Phillip Seymour Hoffman Died
2. The funniest image in NFL history was born:
HOX!
C-Hocks?
.
I mean, is there no photographic evidence of the buttfumble?
The Buttfumble and .gifs are peanut butter and jelly.
As a play the buttfumble is funny
But Peyton wide eyes in the super bowl are extra hilarous
Family trait.
Shit, has it really been almost 10 years since my nonno died?
Because the deacon at his wake looked like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. And I made the mistake of sitting next to Padre Weaselo, who pointed this out, and I just cracked.
I got the DIRTIEST looks ever from my mom and great-aunt, until they realized it must have been my dad’s fault. Anyway, he’s not allowed to sit next to us at funerals anymore.
I’m just here for the article and so I don’t get fined
I just read the Sexy Friday posts for the articles.
I’m here for the tushies
I like turtles 🐢
To remind our German viewers…there will NO turtle heads poking out.