Your Abbreviated Yet Scattered Thursday Night Open Thread

Hey, it’s that time again. There’s so little going on that I feel like talking about so this will be a short intro and then you guys can take it from there.

The Face of a Dumbshit:

You likely don’t know this guy but you know the type. That is Bruce Garrioch (Don’t fat-shame him, don’t fat-shame him) the incredibly chunky (Damn It!) sports columnist from the Ottawa Sun. He came to prominence as a hockey guy after the Senators were awarded a franchise way back in ’92. Pretty much from Day One he sucked up to ownership and the front office, breaking stories from their perspective in exchange for access. He’s a Grade A panderer of a writer as well, scribbling for the dumbest of fans, pretending that his lukewarm takes have gravitas. But a strange thing happened over the last little while-hated owner Bruce Melnyk died and GM Pierre Dorion was fired. They were Brucey’s Bread and Butter Boys. It became incredibly obvious that new owner Andlauer and GM Staios have no use for this groveling fucktard and now he occupies the same position as the “Sens Inside Man” but he has no info. The bland open-ended statements just won’t stop coming. “New coach Travis Green will be given time to turn things around”. Fuck Sakes! The header pic is taken from an article where he comes clean, “Once it’s out there, it’s out there” he says. The Big Reveal-he’s anxious when traveling. Does he have a fear of flying? Nope. He’s just a stupid fucking putz that is nervous when he calls for an Uber or is waiting for his luggage to arrive on the carousel. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. Maybe you’re sweating for an entirely other reason that might be linked to your diet, bozo. Ok, I’m done for now.

Here’s To You Mr. Robinson:

Allen Robinson signed with New York today, leaving the moribund Steelers offense in his rear-view mirror and walking right into the very same situation with the Giants. Tis too late now but he may want to look into Kenny Golloday’s time in Jersey.

Refs are Blind or…Motivated?:

Rick Carlisle has had enough of this guff, helping to put together a tape showing 78(!) egregious calls and non-calls against the Pacers. These damn small market teams like Indiana or say, Denver (whoops!) just can’t catch a break.

Just Another Brick in the Wall:

It was no surprise that after the obligatory post-season meeting with management Leafs coach Sheldon Keefe was let go so that someone else can have a great regular season record and shit the bed later on. I don’t wish anyone that job. Sure there are tons of high-pressure jobs out there in sportsworld but the difference is that there’s nothing else for hockey media folks to do in Toronto.

I’m out, you’re in.