TGIF! After last week’s post my algorithm has been feeding me lots of bamboo information. Didn’t realize BIG BAMBOO had such an active marketing department. Anyway, sports are back! The Open, Tour De France, and baseball. Ok, well kind of back.
Survival – Personal Edition
Speaking of The Open, let’s say you and your mates just watched a round, and are heading home. So you and the lads decide to pop into the pub for a couple of pints. Then you decide to throw darts. Invariably, someone stumbles, someone has an errant throw, someone isn’t paying attention to their whereabouts, but at any rate one of the lads now has a dart injury. Let’s get it treated!
- If the dart is embedded in the head, chest, neck or back, act fast. First, call WCS to get an ambulance on the way if you can’t get transport the lad yourselves. Second, rinse a clean towel in cold water, wring it out, then wrap it around the base of the dart to stabilize it and prevent further injury.
- If the dart hit anywhere else, let’s treat it ourselves. First, if the dart is still embedded, pull it out in one quick motion. If not embedded, find out where it hit. Also, place that dart in a safe location for now and we’ll get to it later.
- Sit the lad down and then examine the wound. Determine if blood is spurting from the wound (bad) or not (fine).
- For the spurters, apply a clean cloth to the wound. Elevate the wound above the lad’s heart and apply pressure to the wound for at least five (5) minutes. If still spurting, repeat with a clean cloth for 15 minutes. If still spurting, repeat with another clean cloth for 30 minutes. If still spurting, see the first bullet point.
- The wound should now be only seeping blood at worst. Rinse the wound under cold water, then cover with a sterile bandage or pad or dressing. Advise your lad to get a tetanus booster if they haven’t had one in a decade or can’t remember their last one.
- Now let’s tend to that poor innocent dart. Rinse clean under hot water, then sterilize with rubbing alcohol.
Your lad is now on the road to recovery. Also, you’ll have to break the bad news his night of dart playing is over and really he should stay on the other side of the pub or head home for safety. Also, the dart is ready to re-enter play.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svbTUSrfA4w
As an alcoholic in recovery, honestly gambling addiction is the scariest type. I know I drank away an absurd amount of money; being that laisse-faire about actual cash money is TERRIFYING. At least when I was pickling myself, the high lasted for a day, not ten seconds at best.
I was also too wasted to get into debt with the types of people who take thumbs as interest. So, I had that going for me.
WOOOOOOOOOO
Oh shit.
That’s never good.
Unless the Cubs won.
Sorry
Not about baseball. But a team I support made me happy, and now I can finally go to sleep.
Sean Hannity is thrilled that DNC party members are saying the Republican convention was like Obama’s nomination in 2008, and this is means Trump will win.
Tangentially speaking, Hannity is laying out how Obama did something good, AND how it helped Trump.
If you were to point this out to him, his eyes will roll into the back of his skull, and he’ll begin seizing.
1978 World Series, Game 4, Dodgers vs Yankees at old Yankee Stadium
Bleacher seats, price with tax: $5.00
Led Zeppelin, May 26 1977, Capital Centre Landover MD
This ticket image from the internet but I know my actual ticket is still around somewhere
Well well well.
Reason number 11 billion why I love my family.
At work. Three this afternoon give or take I get a text.
“Dad, met for dinner at 7:15?”
This is from youngest right.
Who lives in Seattle.
“Yes”
“We’re having dinner at Kings Hawaiian in Torrance”
This is LITERALLY on my way home from work and I punched out at 6:40
King’s Hawaiian is like if Dennys only had Hawaiian food on their menu.
It was insane and wonderful and I hugged both of my daughters version 1.0 and two of the three version 2.0.
The other one is in Madrid.
Given the choice?
Choose Madrid over King’s Hawaiian.
Kevin Bridges is the best Scot comedy going
.
https://youtu.be/Kd1xVG6f2No
I was sitting in the section closest to this, my first Raiders game after moving to the Bay Area
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duwFnrE7cbY
This was worst I’ve experienced in person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_x9EUHA-kg
This was the coldest.
My cousin on Long Island posted this:
https://ibb.co/M5HLWQN
Very 8-bit
Greatest Privince in Central Canadia is v the hillbillies right now. She tents.
bouourble achiueveumeunt uunloucked…?
GREATEST EVER COMMERCIALS
https://youtu.be/UtLHangItFQ?si=dqZiP76Gvew8NuyS
/SHAKES WINE FIST AT CLOUD
Cafu, underrated.
Edgar David’s, weapon
Figo, would fuck your mom
This commercial was directed by Terry Gilliam (from Monty Python)
Horseshit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5ibSvOWAMg
Now airing in the PSAP, along with reruns of the Dirt Stillers, Jimmy Fallon, and one of the 482 Law & Orders.
Nice Ayo. Lady number 10 wants me to drink deeply. Which I will while toying with her foundation garments. Speaking of which… I see London, I see France…
16 hours. Guess yinz are really stuck with me.
[gulps down birth control pill]
Like that’s enough
[gulps down two more]
I will say it’s better than watching MILF manor while high and wine drunk but prob not.
This is far less nauseating. And irritating.
The Hudson Valley Renegades just had a walk-off homer to complete a combined no-hitter.
Fuck, I wish I’d played at that game instead.
Being present for Clayton Kershaw’s no-hitter is probably going to be the highlight of my live sports attendance lifetime.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxspKrnpMFE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnCe6mc4jt8
We rushed the field, got pepper sprayed, and I witnessed many a dumpster and pieces of furniture experience burnination up close.
I was here, and sitting down in the corner at tiny RFK where the last play of the game happened, right in front of me. 1987 NFC Championship game, MIN@WAS. [*Redacted] s went on to beat Buffalo in the Superb Owl. This was the early game, and I went with my brother in law, who later he took me to a country club and the late game was DEN/CLE where Earnest Byner famously fumbled on the goal line (“The Fumble”). Wild day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7N5gzv0-ug
Never saw anything super famous, but I did see Mariano Rivera’s second ever plate appearance back in 2010 in Phoenix. A groundout to the 2nd baseman. At least he put it in play!
The only cool thing I saw in person was Felix Hernandez’s PERFECT FUCKING GAME!
For those of you in the vicinity of Southern California tomorrow we are having an informal DFO SoCal Summit Meeting (7/20/24 – Moon Landing Day!) starting at 11:00AM-Noon at a location described in the #dfosocal channel on DFO Slack (hint: it’s in glamorous Long Beach).
Long Beach is a city in the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area, located about 90 minutes south of Bakersfield, 90 minutes west of San Bernardino, 2 or so hours north of Mexico, and about 2 seconds east of the Pacific Ocean (tide dependent). Look on a map you can’t miss it.
I’m not going to post the summit location here in public so we won’t be flooded with gibberish-speaking Russian trolls at the super-deluxe conference center & spa where we’ll be summiting. Go to Slack. If you can read the #dfosocal Slack channel you are invited. If you can’t read it and it’s blurry and prompts you to get a free Pro trial ask to be added to the list. I don’t know who you ask, but it ain’t me.
Bring a bathing suit and a fully fueled butane lighter, and if you take prescription medications bring along an extra supply. If you take opioids bring all of them. You’ll probably want to have $100-200 cash in mixed bills, and make sure you have an up-to-date emergency notification card on your person (clear plastic sleeves and lanyards will be provided). Hand-held firearms are not required but not discouraged. Time travel and massive alcohol/drug use and sandwich eating may be involved here but there are no guarantees or warranties implied or otherwise.
Don’t forget to bleach your assholes! The Terranea has standards…
Artemis understands.
Whats that Navy thing you guy’s say… Fair winds and following seas.
In the Army we simply state, let the dick dance begin!
They only say that for dead guys
I’ve heard Navy guys say that for guys that were retiring.
That’s the same as dead
They don’t say it to guys getting their discharge papers at EAOS (End of Active Obligated Service). They don’t even say goodbye.
Our interwebz resource computers are back, but the CAD crashed earlier. It’s working.
For now.
Hi, and welcome to another overnight.
You certainly picked an eventful time to start working there
Winners of the Memorial League have been
Weaselo
SPAM
AYO
Sharky.
We are introducing a Lowratio ligue deux. There will be promotion and relegation. It is free. Rules are stupid and during the draft please listen to the shittiest TWBS music you can think of.
https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/209105/invitation?key=3a07144c86507a29&soc_trk=lnk&ikey=79d23a09c66a6ad9
If memory serves, I’d have been relegated twice already.
Just like drifters tend to relegate from living whenever you’re “on a trip.”
4 years. Never made the playoffs
May I join, sir?
Click the link
The important question: Is it the two finalists who get promoted, or, is it the champ and the #1 seed in the regular season (and if so what happens if the 1 seed wins).
Finalists
MANDATORY listening time! (No, I am not on this track or album, Senorita Weaselo is and is currently at the studio working on the last couple of tracks.)
https://youtu.be/vcQ7EgKoPeI?si=aAYhCpSOHBnyySp0
“Lost”? I don’t even have to listen to it to know that the ending will be very disappointing.
have they fully khrushchev’d biden yet
Not yet but I think it’s close. The instant it happens I’ll sign up to volunteer for the campaign, no matter who the nominee is (presumably Harris).
It’s a good question: Who would you not vote for over Agent Orange? Like, would you vote for Vance? Gym? Gaetz? Where in the Know-Nothings is the line?
“Beware big money donors flexing their muscles and White House folks with good photoshop skills, is what I always said.”
-Nikolai Yezhov
letterman does not have the best track record at hosting events that are not his own
This year’s RAIDERS season tickets come in a treasure chest.
Filled with very used cat litter and medical waste!
so is all low income housing here in indiana
People rip on West Virginia, but at least it’s pretty to look at it.
Kentucky too!
Kentucky at least had good whiskey
Speaking of which, think I’m having a wee dram of the Four Roses OBSK tonight
New River Gorge > Cooper’s Rock.
I kayak-camped down that river twice.
Disney World > Kennywood
Of course one if much bigger and better, but the other is much closer and cheaper.
I prefer the chest in pic 6
Is it full of yuk?
If I ever somehow end up owning the Browns I’m changing the mascot to Mr. Yuk
Gumby used him for his fantasy football team a few years ago.
The Jets are also acceptable.
Mr. Yuk is mean, Mr. Yuk is green. When you see him, you’ll know quick, things marked Yuk, make you sick. Sick! Sick! Sick!
colts tickets come in a pork tenderloin sandwich
I figured it be the other way in Gravy Country.
Another top tip, it is NEVER advisable to use curare tipped darts in pub play. Even if you’re an assassin playing darts with Castro
I don’t know what most of that means, but I trust doktorbs.
Is it actually possible to coat bullets in poison, in case they just nick the target? Asking for a friend.
Probably difficult to do effectively. If the bullet just nicks a target, then there isn’t going to be enough time for the poison to absorb, especially in areas with a lot of cartilage and lower blood flow like the ear. Any poison potent enough to administer a lethal dose with a quick nick would be more likely to kill whoever has to carry and load that ammo
Yeah, makes sense. Given the target it probably would have made more sense to dip them in holy water anyways.
I like where your head is at-hit me up if you want to do a collab.
sports sexy friday entry:
caitlin clark is only and handful of assists away from the wnba rookie season record. she may break the record shortly after the all-star/olympic break, but she will not do it with the swagger and the sauce of the one that set it
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/GpTHHoyREzU
oh hi
A few more generations of complete transformation of every roster in the league and the WNBA just may have something to offer.
world’s computers: everything is a bit fucked right now
me: solitaire isnt
Good old 3.1!
I miss pinball for windows
I got your sexy right here.
I particularly like his majestic gaze into the distance
Very heroic.
He is thinking Deep Thoughts.
As opposed to Matt Gaetz, who is thinking Creep Thoughts.