Sexy Friday – 20241101

TGIF! Hope everyone enjoyed their Halloween. Also a great weekend to take care of all that extra candy, or help relieve your local store of all its excess candy stocks.

Survival – Personal Edition

Let’s go over some strategies for hiding sweat stains on your clothing. Look, we all sweat, but like pooping, we don’t need everyone else seeing it.

  • Wear cotton undershirts. Yes, layering will cause more sweat, but undershirts will absorb most of it, and at worst delay sweat stains showing. Also, not to be racist, but use black undershirts as you’ll be able to convince yourself to reuse them since they won’t show those ugly yellow pit stains.
  • If that’s not enough, do not fret, I more ideas. Let’s add some more padding to those pits. Tape some paper towels, tissue paper, or napkins to your arm pits or other parts of your body that sweat too much. Make sure none of these are dyed as that dye will leak into your other clothing and look quite ridiculous.
  • If that’s not enough, upgrade to a chamois cloth. These are normally used for drying a car after washing, so they’re actually perfect for this assignment.
  • If that’s not enough, time for some pantyliners or your favoUrite feminine product pad. Based on those commercials, these can absorb a literal ocean of sweat compared to what they’re designed for.
  • If needed, you can always find an air dryer or blow dryer to provide temporary dryness.

Congrats on your dryness! You not be Mrs. Shapiro dry, but at least you aren’t sleeping with him.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Brick Meathook
yeah right

People!

Hello!

Got Hollywood Bowl tickets for tomorrow.

Please don’t rain!

yeah right

I’ll answer all of your questions later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gyF_5GBMj0

2Pack

If it does just get inside the bowl.

yeah right

But…

It’s outside.

And a better concert venue I’ve yet to see.

yeah right

Stop.
Rethought that last comment.

Because this is a proper fucking place to see a concert as well.

Holy shit this place is lovely.

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2Pack

I know it’s iconic cool. Never been but seen a lot of film.

yeah right

Two shows.

David Byrne and Black Crowes.

The full moon rose over the David Byrne show.

Life moment.

yeah right

Original photo too.

I’ve got a thing about clouds and sunsets.

2Pack

It’s lady number 6 for me tonight Ayo, thanks for the hustle here.
Even in the most butt hawt summer I wear a white v neck t-shirt under the dress shirt to avoid the chick repellent pit stains. Has worked for years.
Others may have already noted, but I’m too lazy to scroll down, We learned here that Unicorns have camel toes.
And my contribution is a glance down… deep down…

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yeah right

Another fan of the big hat!

Doktor Zymm

Answer me this, anti-trans people. How are snowmen, men, when they weren’t born with snowpeni? Even anatomically correct snowmen were made that way, by people, when they’re fully grown.

WCS

the BIBLE saiz GOD creighted snowMEN and sonwWOMEN

Doktor Zymm

That’s another thing, I feel like I’ve seen lots of snowboobs, but no snowvag. If those snowmens are heterosexual where exactly are they putting their snowcocks?

yeah right

I could probably construct a vagina out of an onion or possibly an apple and see if that works.

Just plug that right on in there.

Pineapple would be interesting.

But not recommended.

Doktor Zymm

Not intimately

WCS

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yeah right

Someone stuck that carrot dick on there.

Bogdanski

When was the last time you heard a snowman say their pronouns are “they/them”? Checkmate libtard

Doktor Zymm

I went to elementary school with a girl named Connie Chan, and there is a Bay Area politician of the same name that I’ve been seeing commercials for the last couple years. It’s almost certainly not the same person, although I keep meaning to check and haven’t bothered yet.

Brick Meathook

Another Scene from My Neighborhood™, even though this is actually Hawthorne which is not My Neighborhood™ at all. I live in glamorous Playa del Rey but in the really shitty part.

I shot this using a 1958 Rolleiflex 2.8E TLR medium format (6x6cm) camera with an 80mm Zeiss Planar f/2.8 lens on Kodak Portra 400 color negative film, by which I mean I shot it with an iPhone out my car window while waiting at a stop light.

Nothing is what it seems . . .

https://ibb.co/zrxy4vc

ballsofsteelandfury

Did Elon make you blur out the Tesla factory shots?

Brick Meathook

Nope. He ran out of the building and told me to stop but I took ’em anyways.

https://ibb.co/M6GQnsH

Doktor Zymm

Damn right, this is America. I didn’t take any pictures of that nuclear facility in Iran and is that how we want this country to be??

blaxabbath

Hawthorne looks like a pretty durable town.

yeah right

Durable as Fuck.

Cheap gas prices too.

Brick Meathook

I was there today to get gas at the Costco by SpaceX at $3.859/gal.

Meanwhile, Costco Marina del Rey is $3.999/gal, while the Chevrons by the Chevron refinery that produces 30,000 gallons per hour of 87 octane gasoline are $4.899/gal. The Unocal Marina del Rey is $5.299/gal, but you get a blow job from a cute young thang with ruby-red lips, Daisy Duke cut-offs, and a tight white tank top. His name is Russell.

WCS

Nothing is what it seems . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2QLjPU7Opo

WCS

C’mon, it’s November 1…

Let’s see your own sexy Halloweenie costumes, Clubhouse! I’m specifically talking to you, balls and Lowratio…

ballsofsteelandfury

I was told repeatedly that I cannot post full frontal nudity

WCS

Then make with the ass, let’s go.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s my line!!

Doktor Zymm

Just photoshop some cotton candy over your bits, or something else if it’s more thematic with the costume. Perhaps a tiny puffer jacket!

ballsofsteelandfury

Here you go. I aim to please.

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Doktor Zymm

Hah! Quality product

WCS

Wow… your waist area looks remarkably similar to mine. In fact, that looks like the same picture I took the other day… huh…

Doktor Zymm

I’ve heard it said that all pain is desire, but I’m not sure that applies to accidentally kicking a metal table with my pinkie toe, unless it’s a desire that I hadn’t done that

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s why you’re working on the time machine

WCS

I’m wincing in solidarity.

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yeah right

Ouch.

litre_cola

Has anyone seen Horatio running around with a bandana due to UCONN’s bowl eligibility or is he playing cutthroat poker in New Haven?

WCS

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Yes.

WCS

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Ten minutes in, and already an overdose.

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Buckle up, buckaroos.

blaxabbath

I got my patent drawings back for notes. There is a section where a message is printed. The text the illustrator put on the sketch is the literal print from the test – “Test 4 TD361 (and some other characters I used for organizing the test prints)”.

Is it petty to send back a redline like, “Change the text on Fig 3 to read: ‘RODGER GOODELL IS A NATIONAL DISGRACE’.”? I mean, it’s my idea/patent. I feel like I should be able to put the pepper on it.

Bogdanski

Not an attorney, but I think ‘RODGER GOODELL IS A NATIONAL DISGRACE’ would be more of a copyright than a patent. And a very valuable one at that

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Trying to think of how you might shoehorn that text into the application for real…maybe use it as an example of graffiti?

blaxabbath

I mean, there is a printed message. I gave them them a photo of the setup, featuring the printed message — it’s arbitrary. It COULD have said that text on the print sample I photographed.

Game Time Decision

I’ve had too much Halloween chocolate and my tum-tum hurts
-Me and prob Eli

Doktor Zymm

Influencers scare me

Game Time Decision

More things I don’t understand why they are things

litre_cola

I’m hot don’t you want to be hot like me? Buy this so you are.

Game Time Decision

I could nevar be “Litre hot”. One can only hope to bask in the glow that is litre

litre_cola

Forehead, Scottish teeth, fucking bask.

Doktor Zymm

Is that anything like The Twizzler?

blaxabbath

Comcast/NBC is the soulless center of America.

WCS

I see two incredibly unlikable adults on the ends, and two juveniles well on their way.

I don’t want or need any further context.

litre_cola

Ice Bombers 10-1. THEY WILL KNOW OUR SHITHOLE TOWN.

blaxabbath

Because you’re so close to the Southern Border.

herodotus450

The parks make the town, everybody knows that.

Sharkbait

They helped me win $14. Along with the Celtics and Ice Giants!

Brick Meathook
blaxabbath

Your neighborhood gets sunlight daily.

ballsofsteelandfury

Plus Ann Phoong

litre_cola

Spicy noodle dish.

litre_cola

I read this as Mr. Phoong. Gave plus one and I am still giggling. Bahahahahaha brain

Doktor Zymm

Happy Diwali to everyone!

Last edited 21 days ago by Doktor Zymm
WCS
Doktor Zymm

You could totally invite zombies if you set them on fire

Game Time Decision

Thought it was yesterday but what do I know
But Happy Diwali

Doktor Zymm

It’s a 5 day thing, so it was also yesterday!

Senor Weaselo

Every gig I wear a white undershirt, doesn’t matter if it’s 95 and humid.

That probably doesn’t help in terms of why I needed to get my violin checked for a moisture bubble this past summer. And that wasn’t cheap.

King Hippo

We need to get you MOAR Playboy Mansion gigs.

blaxabbath

What kind of expert does moisture bubble checks on violins?

Senor Weaselo

My luthier, who made my violin, but is unfortunately moving back to Shanghai sometime in the next year.

litre_cola

Is his name Lex? Cuz that would be awesome. If he is Chinese and gave himself his English named, he missed a big opportunity there.

Senor Weaselo

No English name!

At this point I’ve known him for like 20 years, so hearing the news hurt both from a business and personal standpoint. Because when he leaves I have no idea who to go to for my stuff, because I’m not flying to Shanghai for an open seam.

Doktor Zymm

Can he give you a referral before he goes?

Senor Weaselo

He will, and I know some names around the city. I picked up Senorita Weaselo’s now a few weeks ago at one of the shops.

blaxabbath

Does it take him a long time? Or am I paying him for his expertise? Or his tools/equipment? Or the repair/service on the violin?

litre_cola

Very good question.

Senor Weaselo

Depends on the job. The bubble took some time because you have to cut some of the rib, and there’s a mold to make, so when all was said and done that job was a little over two grand.
So in short, yes, yes, and yes.

litre_cola

Pardon my ignorance, what is a bubble? Follow up, how does it mess things up?

I will hang up and listen, be educated.

Senor Weaselo

Basically, 20 years of moisture builds up and causes a warping and bulge in the wood, to the point where it was half off the end block (the bottom of the violin). To fix it you have to undo that bottom of the violin (you take the top off first after undoing the strings) and snip it down and push it down to a mold and a heated sandbag so it fits again. Fortunately it hadn’t breached and become wider than the body or it would have become an even bigger job, but I caught it in time considering where it was.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve never had any complaints with bulge in wood…

Doktor Zymm

Has anyone been playing you for 20 years?

ballsofsteelandfury

Close! 17!

Doktor Zymm

Congrats!

Doktor Zymm

His wife getting a bubble will be a hell of a way for Ben Shapiro to find out his wife has been cheating on him for the past 20 years

ballsofsteelandfury
Last edited 21 days ago by ballsofsteelandfury
blaxabbath

I mean — did you see Episode IV?

King Hippo

FWIW (ie, square root of fuckall) my final HippoForecast (WARNING – likely just gas) gives VP Kamala Harris a 57% chance of winning an EV majority.

Give me one Superb Owl square? I’ll say 270-268. That’s Blue Wall (MI, WI, PA) + Omaha-based NE-2’s solitary, decisive vote.

Let teh violencing commence.

Doktor Zymm

I’m refraining from speculation, although most people I know agree on a Harris win. Not planning on thinking about it at all between now and Tuesday.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have a friend who is convinced Trump is going to win in a landslide. He hates Trump but is hearing all these stories about how everyone hates Democrats and so is convinced it will be a rout.

No one is winning in a landslide in this country anymore. She should win in a landslide but white men suck so she won’t.

blaxabbath

Everyone around me seems to hate Kamala Harris. Anecdotally, all people like giving me money instead of having classrooms with less children than bullets.

Doktor Zymm

Dropped off my ballot today. Had a brief moment of feeling like part of something important. Don’t think I had that in other elections. Hope it’s not a premonition of something horrible, like this being the last election where chicks are allowed to vote or similar

King Hippo

either helped save democracy(ish) or at least can know you fucking TRIED

blaxabbath

I’d be cool if Kamala got mad at her sister and made it so all women can’t vote.

Would sure help get the country back on track….

blaxabbath

Team Big Hat!

Doktor Zymm

If appropriate to the situation, just take your shirt off while you’re sweating and put it back on later

ballsofsteelandfury

The solution, as always, is to go topless

Doktor Zymm

Shirts – nawt as bad as pants, but still nawt stellar

Brocky

I don’t care if its November, happy Halloween y’all

Spoiler

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ballsofsteelandfury

I need to wear my green contacts again. Where the fuck are my blue ones?!?

Brocky

Are ya thinking of trying to pull off a sexy chucky?

ArmedandHammered

Appropriately, the Krugerette is a pirates wet dream – a sunken chest.

2Pack

Well done Sir

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Flying overseas tomorrow night, next in line for an upgrade and shit’s full.

First world problem but bah.

Doktor Zymm

Don’t despair, plenty of time for someone to change flights or cancel last minute

ballsofsteelandfury

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Unsurprised

Oh, no. Not Christmas stuff already.

ballsofsteelandfury

Unicorn is #1 in my heart and penis.