We’re going to do things a bit differently today as one of ours has lost their partner. No words can can adequately express a loss or help in the time of mourning, so just know that we are here for whatever you need Gumbygirl. Rest in peace Gumby. I’m hoping there’s music in the next phase and that Gumby can listen to all the Cure\Cult he wants. In memorandum of Gumby, here’s a small tribute to him. Please tell the others.
Guys, I was hoping for a distraction from the election, and the sick and twisted universe is providing one. Gumby is heading downhill fast this morning- he’s unresponsive eyes rolled up in his head. My SIL is on her way to the hospital to pick up morphine that we can just put under his tongue, and Ativan for the agitation. He would rather die at home, so that’s what we’re going to do. I hope it’s quick for him, my poor baby.
Gumbygirl
November 5, 2024 6:25 pm
Gumby died at 1 this afternoon. They just took him to the funeral home. They put a flag over him. I am devastated, but I am a tough old broad, and I’ll be ok.
Gumbygirl
I’m very sorry, Gumbygirl. We all got to know Gumby through you, a devoted wife and dedicated caregiver. Anyone receiving that staggering amount of love would be extremely fortunate.
I cry with you, but I’m certain Gumby was a very, very lucky guy to have you in his life. My condolences, and admiration.
Don T
All the hugs to GumbyGirl, we’re here for you. Cheers and salutations to a life well lived!
Doktor Zymm
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Princess and I next October.
Yinz are all invited. If she asks, I’ll tell her a sex dwarf threatened me with a “safety dance” and a “Big Turk” if I didn’t comply.
WCS
Like the Big Turk isn’t going to be the ONLY wedding gift from DFO.
Game Time Decision
Gotta include the Malort.
ArmedandHammered
Princess: “This card says the contents are ‘gently used.’ What does that me…”
WCS: “DON’T OPEN THAT!!!!!”
Horatio Cornblower
Don T
If you have to suppress your gag reflex, you’re eating your corn dog wrong.
Also, I just audibly laughed at work and per HR rules, I cannot say why.
Redshirt
I wanna say Thanks!
– Zymm, who is awesome for flying up last minute just for a football game and matching us beer for beer
– Ayo, who did not toss a beer into anyone’s face this time. A little disappointing but that’s growth! Besides, he made up for it with jokes.
– Unsurprised, who is doing actual work during this train ride back to PDX! Who does that?!?! This train is for sleeping!
Y’all are fantastic people for coming to the game and putting up with me! We gotta do these meet ups more often.
If I had planned better, I’d have made laminated badges to give y’all.
ThePirateSloth
Sharkbait
Editor
November 4, 2024 9:12 am
Brocky
I hate the Devils but credit where credit is due.
Sharkbait
Peyton Manning asking about a “sack specialist” has buried the needle on the irony-meter.
Col. Duke LaCross
Redshirt
Look, I know we’re dealing with some shit in our own country right now, and I know that North Korean soldiers showing up in Ukraine is objectively bad, but all that aside this is fucking hilarious:
A usually reliable source tells me that the North Korean soldiers who have deployed to Russia have never had unfettered access to the internet before. As a result, they are gorging on pornography.
— Gideon Rachman (@gideonrachman) November 5, 2024
Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt
Four more hours to go at the polls here in PR. EVERYBODY has turned out to vote, which is what this is all about. We’ve been cordial and cracking jokes, despite each party being all “You’r guy / gal will destroy all of you us!” If shit becomes hostile, I brought a secret weapon: brownies.
Lunch brought for poll workers. Nice!
Don T
my wife has been using this tactic of baked goods to the dentist and vet and has got us discounts and extra pain killers.
Gatoraids
“How many baked goods did it take?”
— King H., NC
WCS
Work operating system giving me a hard time like I’m not looking for the slightest excuse to kick everything to the curb and start playing Fortnite while guzzling Scotch.
Horatio Cornblower
(Hourglass Curser appears for one second)
Horatio: “I CAN’T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!”
Redshirt
READ THE ROOM, CLIPPY!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!
Horatio Cornblower
November 6, 2024 1:40 pm
Sharkbait
Good evening folks
2Pack
Honest-to-God Conversation I Just Had:
Coworker: “Redshirt, the machine broke an hour ago so I waited for you to return.”
Me: “Sorry, I was at… An hour ago? Did you tell anyone else?”
Coworker: “I told the new person, who gave me your number.”
Me: (checks phone) “I got no call or text.”
Coworker: “…”
Me: “Did you tell the experienced person who knows what to do?”
Coworker: “No, I figured you knew how to fix it.”
Me: “So your plan was to wait and do nothing, on the off chance I stopped by to fix it?”
Coworker: “Yes.”
At this point, my brain shut off its higher brain functions due to conniption and not wanting to get myself fired or arrested.
Redshirt
All y’all really need to win the Picks Pool. I just received my prize from the generous Mr. Maestro and WOW!
Thank you!
ballsofsteelandfury
Is it a Big Turk?
Sharkbait
“Gently used” Big Turk is just what was fished out of the toilet.
WCS
Sheeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt
Col. Duke LaCross
I’ve created a monster. She didn’t even like football before we started dating (her parents were both European immigrants so she grew up watching lesser footy) four years ago. But little by little I got her more into it. She took dead last her first year in our league then won the damn thing last year.
Gotta say, I’m a little turned on seeing her kick ass. Just wish it wasn’t my ass getting kicked.
Col. Duke LaCross
Sharkbait
Doktor Zymm
Your designated driver checking in, ciao tutti. Happy Veterans day weekend.
2Pack
After 25 years of doing still photography (which I’ve never done professionally, movie VFX is my wjore job) I finally made a website for it. Here’s an excerpt, as viewed on an iPhone:
Brick Meathook
CPL final today! Deci and yours truly will be on the pitch for the anthem! Little cold here today
litre_cola
Turns out I already knew this cleaning tip!
Doktor Zymm
Don T
If there is justice in the world, Deion’s kid’ll be drafted by Dallas next year. It’ll be fun seeing Nepotism Sanders getting killed every week.
Redshirt
Me during the week thinking about that dumb ass Commie jumping across the line:
BeefReeferLives
Don T
Did they decide that each team was only going to play one half or something?
Doktor Zymm
Boy. As a Browns fan, it’s fantastic seeing all of these Cleveland Browns draft picks look so good on Sunday Night Football.
JustStopDude
Collinsworth is completely untrainable. Didn’t he piss people off before saying that the ” average fan” wouldn’t understand something? He just did it again. Asshole
Gumbygirl
The Texans uniforms remind me of something…
BeefReeferLives
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Gumbygirl, sending you love and peace from Clan LemonJello along with our sympathies. We’re here for you.
Very sad to hear about the passing of Gumby. Gumbygirl you have always been incredibly kind and I hope you are surrounded by either the support or the space you need.
missed you guys but I’m still grumpy about Sunday
What’s that website, again, Brick?
Just Google “goatse” and you’ll find it
It was lousy lousy something
Damn it, all. I was trying to do a “Monorail” routine.
Well, the Santa Coke bottles are out, and this is an outrage!
The War on Christmas hasn’t gone far enough, we can’t even have polar bears in scarves anymore because it’s too vague!
All the grocery stores here are already pulling out the stops. Pumpkin spice still remains supreme but peppermint flavored shite is catching up fast.
Saw this in my liquor store & almost threw up in my mouth.
Then noticed the name & again had to fight the gag reflex.
THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM OLIVIA MANNING BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THE DOCTOR VERY CLEARLY TOLD HIS FAMILY MEMBER TO HOLD THEIR BODY PART STILL FOR A WEEK – JUST A WEEK! – SO THE BONES CAN HEAL, THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE FOR ALL THE GOOD IT’S GOING TO DO TO GET SAID FAMILY MEMBER TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND STOP FIDGETING.
“Listen, can you hear them? The dust bunnies; they’re gathering in their numbers and will soon overwhelm us. DAMN YOU AND THOSE ‘DOCTORS’!!! TO THE VACUUMS!!!”
If my goldfish memory is correct, this is a broken finger and other than a splint, just use cloth tape to hold the broken finger to another one. It will still allow some flexibility but will keep it from getting more injured and give it some support. Another bonus is that it makes using that hand harder, so will use it less and help that finger heal
It’s been splinted by medical professionals. The problem is that she wants to use it to work out, despite the same medical professionals telling her that she should just leave it alone entirely. If she behaves herself, she can most likely avoid surgery. But I know her too well, so I have to keep burning up marriage capital scolding her for trying to do stuff like opening jars.
understood and good luck with that ( seriously)
Finger surgery sucks
Tell her, if she does not behave, Santa will not be bringing a new vacuum.
That sucks
You guys are awesome. I love you all. My older sister is here helping me get some stuff done. She’s bossy as hell, which is exactly what I need right now! She lost her husband in February. It’s weird, there are four of us siblings, and three of us are widowed. We’re all in our 60’s, it seems way too early for that.
So, so sorry. We love you, too. Hang in there.
It *is* way too early for that. There are quite a few people in this world I wish would leave behind widows in their sixties, and I’m quite sure none you ladies would have married one of those dirtbags.
Hang in there, Gumbygirl. Our thoughts are with you.
That does seem too early! I guess your family is a combo of healthy and unlucky. Glad you’ve got good support around you, and again, all the hugs
I’m sorry for your loss GG! Glad, though, that you have family to help you through.
& a bossy sister might be annoying, but I could sometimes use someone like that…
It should be, I’m sorry to hear that it unfortunately’s ran in the family.
Y’all really wearing them out it seems. What is the over/under on the last sibling’s spouse?
Beyond that, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Again, need anything, just let us know. We all love ya.
Lol, the other spouse is the only one no one would miss! That’s terrible to say, but she’s kind of psycho.
One of the realest things Louis CK ever said was how one parent will always die too soon and the other never dies; and it’s never the one you want.
Not in my case, if Mom had died first, I think I would have suffocated my Dad as a kindness to myself, my brother, and my home town.
My parents went within 4 or 5 months of each other.
I stole these for you
Awww. You’re my favorite, Taj. Don’t tell the others
Even God is sad
Big hug, GG.
Condolences, no loss is easy. I’ll raise a glass to him tonight.
Rest in Peace, Gumby. My sincere condolences, Gumbygirl.
Please tell me that the week from hell has been satiatied and is finally over, and that it’s not a month from hell, or even a year from hell.
Well they’ve said it’ll only be a Day 1 from hell, and not a Day 2, or Day 3, or Day 4, or Day 5…
I saw four crows assaulting a hawk this morning, not sure what kind of omen that is but I’m confident it has nothing to do with the Atlanta Falcons because no self-respecting oracle would waste their time or energy on those chumps.
My assistant just sent me an email that begins “do you care…” and I don’t have to click on the full title to know the answer to that one.
“NOPE”
/delete
Just send back a picture of Cutler. See what response that elicits.
Shame we don’t have one of him at a urinal.
and just to get the correct letters down, it’s “DOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE.”
Thank you GTD, wonderful recap as usual.
Gumby Girl, so sorry for what you are going through. We share a wedding anniversary year, I don’t know how I would deal with losing her. Your dignity and spirit are a clue. Be well Cara.
No real names, please.
EDIT: My mistake, that is NOT Gumbygirl’s real name, but merely a term of endearment. Please accept my apology, 2Pack.
“Oh, now he says no real names!”
-Lowratio, kicking his Cheerios bowl off the counter
Cheerios, aka bagels to Lowratio
When will you also apologize to Tupac for whatever part you had in his undoing?
Time has shown that Diddy was probably behind his and Biggie’s deaths.
No harm no foul Sir.
Way to go, boob. Now the government machine complex knows her name is NOT Cara.
It’s a matter of time before they’re on her front doorstep.
I have a doormat that sez Come Back With A Warrant. The jackbooted thugs loooove me!
That’s coming up in a week. Should be fun. [Narrator: It won’t be fun]
Condolences, Gumbygirl. You’re in our thoughts.
Democrat Ruben Gallego will defeat Kari Lake for Arizona Senate seat, CNN projects | CNN Politics
The System (Barely) Works! This is like Mario Party when they give the 4th Place Player one sympathy coin.
¡Viva!