Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Everybody’s Getting Married Before Passover (2025 Edition)

Which is great for me because it keeps me properly employed so I can do things like pay for stuff. Not taxes, I did that already and am waiting to see if I get anything back from my estimates or whether DOGE has finished raiding the Treasury.

It’s a little less great for the column because I can’t actually write things out like the Nocturnes Magazine you’re owed, but in fairness, the road trip sucked (1-5) and coming back home hasn’t helped so we might just hold off until the end of the season. A 2-1 loss—where Ritzy hit his 3rd of the year and that was pretty much it, and Story was great but card plays led to back to back doubles in the top of the 6th and that was game—puts Brooklyn 3 back with no tiebreakers in the division and 8 to play. Not great, Bob!

So, onto human sports while we wait for the draft:
 
Not-March Not Madness, not the Quest for 69, but whatever foothold Fox Sports is trying to take instead:
Butler vs. Boise State (7:00, FS1)
Cliffords vs. “Seriously, Georgetown’s in this?” (Nebraska vs. Georgetown, 9:30, FS1)
 
Hockey time:
Russian man overtaking a MAGAt’s record, as per usual vs. CANES MAN, COME TO OUR GAAAAAAAMES (WAS vs. CAR, 7:00, TNT)
Withholding the Yetis name vs. Bedard and Pals (COL vs. CHI, 9:30, TNT)
 
Baseball with BezosCo:
Sneks vs. Bronx Torpedos (AZ vs. NYY, 7:00, Prime)
 
CONCACAF Cup:
Vancouver vs. Pumas (I have no idea who’s home, don’t ask) (9:30, FS2)
Not the Fightin’ Beckhams but the other one? vs. The Fightin’ Messis (LAFC vs. Inter Miami, 11:30, FS1)
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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Don T

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2Pack

All true

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2Pack

I would also add… All female FBI agents are hawt…

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Brick Meathook

“She’s no prize.” – Rodney Dangerfield

ballsofsteelandfury

#13 is a fact

blaxabbath

Does anyone know where Mike Pence’s gallows are? I’m not saying the Cult will ever turn on Dear Leader but they are going to want blood for some of this. That’s the circus admission they purchased and they will get it.

Sharkbait

One of these times im in New York you won’t be gigging.

rockingdog

Found a cool:

https://tv.garden/

📺 on your 💻

blaxabbath

So we just jammed through a price increase today. Was actually per the 25% tariffs on steel in March. Anyways, one man’s experience….

The megatrumpers are not going to hear this pain thing. I mean, we just went through this during covid but they’re just straight taking the position that someone else is gonna eat that consumption tax.

One of my good customers actually showed me an email from his rep at publicly traded builder A that says, “our customers will not be paying tariffs.”

I’ve tried explaining that the benefitter of the tariffs is monopoly big us steel production but, no shit, i believe there are professionals working in settings (like purchasing) who honest to god don’t understand tariffs. And FoxNews doesn’t translate to actual professional conversations.

So that’s my two cents. It’s one thing to argue about the theory behind Covid’s origins while we are all making money. It’s another to be the guy who doesn’t know shit about money and wants to be taken seriously as an adult/professional.

litre_cola

Hug, call your parents if you can. We had a sudden passing in the family.

scotchnaut

Shit, so sorry.

2Pack

Condolences Buddy

Gatoraids

sorry for your loss.

WCS

Sincere condolences. We’re here for you.

Mr. Ayo

Will do. So sorry to hear.

Gumbygirl

I’m so sorry to hear this. May their memory be a blessing.

SonOfSpam

Aw, sorry Litre. All the best.

King Hippo

Stay strong, Maple Brutha

Sharkbait

So sorry to read this. Here for you to lend an ear if you need it.

NotShogunButShogun

All Love to you and yours.

yeah right

Big hugs from California.

BugEyedBoo

Sorry to hear that. Peace be with them.

Brick Meathook

My thoughts and prayers, friend.

fleshwound_NPG

ice panthers and ice redacteds murdering each other to give a garbage time power play to ovi

(bonus points to ice panthers dj for playing slayer)

fleshwound_NPG

even more murdering!

Redshirt

That’s my Redlegs!

IMG_1313
Mr. Ayo

Poetry

Doktor Zymm

Nikkei is down 3%, recovered slightly from the 4% drop at open

Doktor Zymm

Possibly the most entertaining Ovi goal
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u2pr-Bm_YPw

Sharkbait

You are not wrong there.

litre_cola

Am watching Futbol SudAmericana as I have an addiction. “Dad, you will watch this from anywhere, even if it isn’t in English. Why?” Better than the news kid. Better than the news.
I am slowly becoming an ostrich with my head in the sand. Just live and exist man.

King Hippo

Thank fuck I slept through another bullshit Merseyside Derby today!

blaxabbath

Honestly, I’m a burnt out as any 70 year old guy who hated his job when he was 35.

So long as we’re all in it together (I’d feel lazy otherwise), let’s all do not work from home for five years.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think we know what the REAL news is today….

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MOAR BALLS MOAR FUN!

Mr. Ayo

BALLS FOR THE BALL GOD!

Gumbygirl

Great Balls of Fire!

blaxabbath

I read foxnews.com comments today. Everything about them is so obviously fake. The names. The cadence. The structure.

I mean, how is there not honestly required to be a warning on these things that this is fabricated for entertaining purposes only? Not that the Cult would care — but some of us still have a sense of Patriotic duty!

Redshirt

(Artistic Interpretation)

Mom: “This is tough, but the suffering will eventually end soon when Dad passes
Me: “I know, but it’s so hard.”
Mom: “Yeah, that’s ALS for you.”
Me: “I’m talking about Dad insisting on watching Fox News!”

Mr. Ayo

Ovi within 3! Damn he’s going to do it this year.

Doktor Zymm

Woohoo! He’s my favorite Russian, possibly the best Russian since my ancestors left over a century ago

Redshirt
Doktor Zymm

We theoretically don’t have any trade with them because sanctions. Although the Heard and McDonald Islands are getting a 10% tariff and they don’t even have a population or economy

blaxabbath

That’s how you show you fucking mean business when you are a STRONG MAN WHO WEARS MAKEUP LIKE SOME BROAD.

Doktor Zymm

Been trying to come up with a good analogy and the best I have so far is that this is equivalent to starving yourself to death because egg prices went up. Gotta cut that trade deficit with the grocery store!

Game Time Decision

MAHA, by forcing a reduction in caloric intake

blaxabbath

That’s super funny.

He’s gonna come for the gluten-intolerant next. He don’t want anyone picky standing in the bread lines.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve never actually watched the markets open before, but think I’m gonna tune in tomorrow morning. Futures markets are already dire and I’ll be tracking international markets all night. This is a horrible idea, but it IS kinda exciting to watch in an econ nerd way.

WCS

I was teaching an undergrad class in 2007, live as the Recession was starting. The Dow finished -777 that day.

fleshwound_NPG

my first class after the towers were hit on 9/11 was econ

prof said we’d be in a recession, he was off by seeral years (2002 “recession” was the softest one in decades, iirc)

fleshwound_NPG

*several

tariffs took 10% of the keyboards off my laptop!

Doktor Zymm

I think it was pretty industry specific. And the government spent a lot of money and hired a lot of people when they created DHS. Good thing we can always count on the government to cushion the blow! Oh… Wait, no just kidding lol

blaxabbath

Wow. What was that like?

WCS

Surreal, a lot of gallows humor.

blaxabbath

In retrospect, how little did you understand? Or were you like, “yeah this is just numbers you know?”

WCS

It was captivating to see what professors had said can happen play out in real time.

Gumbygirl

.

1000005728
SonOfSpam

My 401K is doing fine, in that I can’t retire for at least 10 more years so I’ll look at it then.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe you’ll be able to retire early, if you don’t mind living in a shantytown. Hey, we should all get together and have our own DFO shantytown!

SonOfSpam

Scotchy can provide hobo meat!

yeah right

I know a place.

With a beach!

rockingdog

For every country, they just took our trade deficit with that country and divided it by the country’s exports to us I think

This is so dumb
LoL

Doktor Zymm

He included VAT in the calculations, which is just insane. This really is the stupidest timeline

Redshirt

Well, Trump did say he wanted to return America to when it was last great. Never realized it was October 1929.

https://www.cnn.com/markets/after-hours

fleshwound_NPG

1999: “a republic falling because of a trade war? that doesnt make sense, even for a movie!”

2025:

lucas-laugh
Redshirt

The Republic feel because the evil leader tricked a quasi-racist, quasi-mentally retr—special bumpkin to give him unchecked powers.

So yeah, it’s official. We’re living the Prequel Trilogy.

blaxabbath

Yeah but your income taxes won’t go up!

SonOfSpam

*except state income taxes probably will because the FedGov have cut so much shit, but then they’ll just be called “fees” so morons in TX and FL can still think they’re ahead of the game, anyway we’re in hell

Gatoraids

yeah and have things like in south florida people camping 10pm the night before to get a DMV slot with all scheduled appts full. I’m going to instead drive at least an hour north and to find a county with available appointments.

blaxabbath

That’s your Democrat state lawmakers for ya.

blaxabbath

I know about this Nebraska game. It’s the Las Vegas Crown Tournament. It’s supposed to be the first-sixteen out (Loser 16?) and there is a cash prize for the winners plus NIL incentives. Also, there is a promise that NBA scouts are there watching so…exposure.

ASU lost in the first round to Nebraska.

King Hippo

Shouldn’t the winners get FOAR REELZ crowns, so they can feel like pretty little (sub-NIT) princesses?

SonOfSpam

Look, the tourneys go as follows:

1) NIT
2) NCAA
3) CBI
4) VD4 (just made it up, probably gonna sell it to Paramount+)
5) This stupid Fox thing (not Fox News or Fox Business, but almost as stupid)

blaxabbath

Now.. when you say, “winners”….