Monday Night Open Thread – What do you keep in your shed?

So, I am kicking back while visiting San Diego, doom scrolling my phone while waiting on my food, when I see a link to an article about “What Not to Store in Your Shed”.  Now, given the diverse and somewhat murky backstories of the members of the clubhouse, I began to imagine what each member would be storing in their outdoor shed that they should not be storing in an outside shed.  And no, Scotchy is not storing dismembered hobos, at least I hope not with summer approaching unless he has a deep chest freezer (one large chest per freezer).  Plus, I doubt he ever brings home anything that might, even casually, be construed as evidence.  I have a feeling he is a very methodical person.

Who knows what Dok, may have stored – parts of defunct death rays, failed experiments, and tack for her horse?  I wonder if Horatio allows Lowratio to use the shed as his country house.  Moose probably stores weapons grade memes and racks of servers storing so many pictures.  Marc Trestelman’s White Van had his shed taken into protective custody based on the horrors that had taken place behind its, swinging barn type doors.  What do any of you think you clubhouse members are incorrectly storing in their backyard sheds?  Should we be worried?  Should anyone who accidentally wanders into one of these be afraid for their lives?  You want to provide your own guesses as to what should not be stored in “The Shed In the Yard”.

Other than that, really enjoying San Diego, but I do want to get home to the rabbits.  Next week will be lots of bunny pictures, including an “attempt” at grooming the long haired rabbit.  Still have to get to Roberto’s, but that is my plan for tonight.

 

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ArmedandHammered
Mid 50's geek/nerd, avid reader of Science Fiction and Fantasy, manga, Chinese Web novels, and British mysteries, cult movies are my thing (have you seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?)
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not only do I have to go and do more stuff this week, but I’m the one who has to figure out where to go and what to do!

Gumbygirl

There a people here (Spam) who would tell you where to go and what to do, but I am not one of them. Because you are my favorite, Rikki. Don’t tell the others.

WCS

Those bastards.
You should demand a refund, and to speak to the manager.

BeefReeferLives

Gift idea for RTD:

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yeah right

We have a garage with the usual tools and weed whacker and couple of folding chairs. We keep recyclables there until recycling time but I’ve got next to nothing in there.

I’m streamlining motherfuckers. No extemporaneous attachments.

In fact! We have so little shit in the garage, get this, we park cars in there!

I know!

yeah right

Did you try the red and green sauce and alternate them?

Get some pickled jalapeños and carrots?

Glad you liked. That’s old school San Diego grinds.

You don’t go to a restaurant. You go to a taco shop.

Now you’ve been to San Diego.

yeah right

This is the thing, they can’t replicate that shit in LA. We’re only 120 miles north and to this day if I want the real thing, I’ve got to drive to San Diego.

LA makes killer tacos but they don’t do that. Best I can do is make my own.

I’ve gotten real close.

ballsofsteelandfury

Man Shitty just lost. Too funny!

Doktor Zymm

I just realized I can get 20% off shame pizza with my AARP membership, I’ve been leaving money on the (shameful) table!

*It’s a little known fact that you can join AARP at any age, I’ve been retired at heart my whole life

jjfozz

Dirutis and ice ceram sammiches hve me back online. so , you fucks, how yo all doing?

Gumbygirl

Not nearly as good as you! I’d walk over to the dog park to burn one and catch up, but I am too fucking lazy. I have a sinkful of dirty dishes taunting me, but I’m ignoring them. You’re not the boss of me, pot with rice burned on the bottom!

Gumbygirl

It came right off because I’m a scary bitch.

Mr. Ayo

Doritos!

SonOfSpam

Wow, Man City is losing to some team sponsored by Al’s Halal Cart?

“Um, where is this ‘Man City’ place?”

Sit down, Senator Graham

SonOfSpam

Tied back up. In Extra Time. Purdy goal by Foden.

Mr. Ayo

And down again. Man City really wants their summer break.

Mr. Ayo

No shed, no garage. But I do have an outdoor closet. Keep the mountain bike in there.

Doktor Zymm

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You didn’t tell us you had opened a pizzeria!

Mr. Ayo

Strictly a name licensing deal.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I donae have a shed, but have a garage that’s about half full of crap. Does that count?

fleshwound_NPG

if its a detached garage full of crap, yes

so, add more crap until it is full

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

It’s attached to the house, and intentionally leaving one side empty so that in the winter a car will fit so it doesn’t need to be scraped off in the morning

fleshwound_NPG

well one thing i KNOW aint going in my shed…

also, this makes it look like his career coaching record is 45-47, which means the only demographic interested in something like this is if your name is jeff fisher

fragrance
SonOfSpam

Smells like dirty diaper, with notes of rape and fraud.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

And cheeto dust and grease

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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2Pack

I have the usual guy stuff in my shed. But these babies have some family history that I plan on integrating into the renovated place for my soon to be newly wed daughter. These come from an old railroad line near our families lake cottage in the Wisconsin north woods. As kids we collected a bunch 50+ years ago and my parents kept the best looking ones. Mom sent me six of them a few years back. Soon I will drill a hole in the tops, run an LED light with rustic wiring through each, mount them in a staggered line on a weathered wood plank, and mount it above the dining room table. I hope it turns out nice.

il_794xN.6171397415_nfl2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Are those glass insulators?

2Pack

Yes. Pretty durable too. There were telephone lines running along the railroad cuts that just fell over after they were no longer used. So these were laying around. I have blue ones. We also collected clear and green ones.

Horatio Cornblower

My shed contains a riding lawn mower, various pieces of outdoor maintenance tools, some stuff for oil changes, a lot of things that I’m no longer really sure what they are, several stains of questionable origin, and a healthy amount of spiders and mice.

jjfozz

How many vodka tonic scan on ejan have ebore he dies: I’M WORKIN ON IT

BeefReeferLives

Open thread subject reminds me of Gard’s “shed period” in King’s “The Tommyknockers”.

WCS

Growing up, the family joke was through various wildlife in my parents’ backyard had their underground casino beneath the shed.
The old man still can’t keep four-legged critters from eating his garden.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why couldn’t you put the bunny back in the box?

Mr. Ayo

Oh neat, CIN just allowed an inside the park home run to BOS. Totally on brand.

scotchnaut

Update on Bear, the Breeder Dog That Was Tossed Aside:

As he was taught, he tries to mount Ruby here and there and Ruby is having none of it. Bear is a simple sort of doggo and is at sea.

SonOfSpam

Poor fella. Like if Travis Henry was rehoused.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not unheard of for Bears to attempt to mount every potentially fertile female in sight.

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Don T

Bear angling for a 5-year, fully guaranteed contract!

scotchnaut

Heard this tune on Sirius-I hope it doesn’t blow up (because I want it all to myself) but I fear it will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNr4SrwNcmc

King Hippo

BROTHER!!!

/I posted this on a thread (I think Saturday) like 4-5 weeks ago.

//like a Southern gal with a brooding look, great shoulders, and a breathy voice would skip HIPPO’s notice smgdh

scotchnaut

Holy Crap! I had no idea. That delicate voice saying, “Wish you’d start a riot!” just gets me somehow.

King Hippo

Or the way she ends that line “on yoooouuuu” in that very Georgia fashion.

SonOfSpam

Hey, I saw her third.

(who am I kidding, Scotchy’s already made a skinsuit out of her)

King Hippo

The cute ones always have a soft spot for a feller with a flensing knife

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ULTRA + COLOR + DOUBLE + SHOT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc2YLC63OS8

BeefReeferLives

“What do you keep in your shed?”
Or shed(s), as in,(or not) Mr. Jackson’s case…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLjS3gzHetA

Last edited 8 months ago by BeefReeferLives
Doktor Zymm

Sometimes a perfectly good hammock will get a teensy bit contaminated with radioactive material. Seems a shame to throw it away so it gets chucked in the shed

SonOfSpam

/writes spec script about a radioactive hammock terrorizing Manhattan
//working title “The City That Never Sleeps Even Though You’d Think It Could Sleep Because Of The Omnipotent Hammock But The Hammock Is Killing Everyone”
///cashes Netflix check

Doktor Zymm

What really happened, the spiders in the shed mutated and started weaving full sized hammocks instead of webs. I think they’re still just eating flies, but there ARE a couple of interns missing…

SonOfSpam

////furiously crosses out script Prologue

2Pack

I’d just scrub that baby down with some water and baking soda solution and grab some Z’s…

Doktor Zymm

Please don’t feed the spiders while you’re there

2Pack

They really don’t bother you much when you are in full decon PPE.

Don T

No sheds in my Apt. building. But I do have a machete, mostly for taking down the Xmas tree.

ballsofsteelandfury

You misspelled “enemies and clients that don’t pay on time”

Don T

I stand by the “mostly”

scotchnaut

Oh look, it’s a lawyer covering his bases for the first time.

edit: should have used sarcastic font

Last edited 8 months ago by scotchnaut
SonOfSpam

Can I pronounce it “ma-CHE-TAY” or is that cultural appropriation? It sounds so much cooler than “ma-Shetty”

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s actually better using the Spanish pronunciation:

ma-CHE-teh

SonOfSpam

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Gumbygirl

I had to get a 5×5 storage unit for my Christmas stuff, tools, and some of Gumby’s stuff that I didn’t want to pitch, but have no idea what to do with, like sports memorabilia, video game consoles, and Navy awards. In my defense, this apartment is 600 square feet, with a regular sized bedroom closet, not a walk in, a small hall closet, small linen closet, and a decent sized pantry. No dishwasher, no in-unit laundry. We already discussed the shameful over the toilet storage unit fiasco, stay tuned for Part Duh, when I put together a small floor cabinet! Supposed to be delivered Wednesday, pray for me!

ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

Although, you have to admit, that’s pretty kick-ass:

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, as sheds go, that’s a corker.

Senor Weaselo

Various hoses, shovels, and whatevers for when my time starts.

Which is now.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know what’s in any of the DFOers’ sheds…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, mine’s nothing outrageous – just a bunch of spare vacuum parts. The only thing shocking about it is the quantity.

SonOfSpam

As luck would have it, my shed is filled with gently-used Fleshlights, so maybe Rikki and I can do some scientific research.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes but how does your “science” account for love?

SonOfSpam

We respect Arthur Lee’s band.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Regarding Horatio Cornblower’s shed…are you familiar with a little David Cronenberg film called The Brood?

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Last edited 8 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

I thought male Karens were called Kevins

Horatio Cornblower

You’re not wrong.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have you actually seen The Brood? David Cronenberg is weird, man.

Gumbygirl

I have most of my apartment unpacked, except for wall art. I seem to have lost my oomph, but I’ll get around to hanging them up eventually. I took all of them out of the boxes, except for one huge one, so I’m calling that progress. While I’ve been fucking around avoiding them, I’ve been watching videos on Youtube. Right now, one of Senor’s showed up, he’s playing Dvorak’s Romance in F Minor, absolutely lovely! I would sell my soul to the devil to have that kind of talent. Bravo, Senor! Here’s a standing ovation from my couch!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gumbygirl’s shed contents (one of the greatest artists of our generation’s conception):

https://doorfliesopen.com/2020/10/16/hard-ride-to-nowhere-chapter-125/

Gumbygirl

I get rid of a metric shit ton of stuff every time I move. This is move number 26. If I had stayed in the same house for the 42 years I was married, like my sister has, I would have had the most epic episode of Hoarders ever. It’s terrifying to imagine it.

Doktor Zymm

I’m tired even thinking about moving 26 times!
If you ignore moving as a kid and moving in and out of dorm rooms in undergrad, then I’ve lived in 3 places in DC/MD, 3 places in Chicago, and 1 place in California

SonOfSpam

I have lived in Orange County for (mathing, mathing) 56 years, like one of those burrowing animals that dies 20 feet from where it was born.

scotchnaut

I’d go thru your back issues of The Village Voice.*

*this is not a euphemism

Senor Weaselo

Please like and subscribe to see more content like the singles of videos I’ve posted in the last… since that concert!

Gumbygirl

I am subscribed, I always watch and like your vids when they show up.

Senor Weaselo

Some where’s a video of a concert from 2017 where I premiered a piece of mine.

Nobody knows who has the video, because my mom is the one who took it.