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Queries for EPL Opening Weekend

King Hippo

/

, ,

Welcome to the much-needed resumption of festivities.  Please try to control one’s excitement, or at least cover one’s tumescence.

Villa and the Barcodes kick us off early (7:30, USA), and these two have each had a mighty tough summer.  Isak is the straw that stirs Newcastle’s drink, and he’s thrown his toys out of the pram to try to force a lowball move to the filthy Redshite.  Fuck’s sake, my mental health is bad enough without that coming to fruition.  Villa haven’t done much business, either, as they try to claim their seat at the Prem “big kids” table.  Boy howdy, does this have “bore draw” written all over it.

Mighty Whitey (a pre-season of almost complete stasis, per Litre) get the teevee treatment (10:00, USA), away to the Trashbirds.  I enjoy watching each of these squadrons play, so at least it’s a decent choice for the neutral.  Should you disagree, the Black Cats return to the top flight with a home tilt against the Hammers (Peacock).  You’ll never see West Ham the same after watching season 2 of The White Lotus, that’s for sure.  Will they likewise take it up the arse this weekend?  MAYBE!

Spotlight Dance is City of Men gimping their way into Wolverhampton (12:30, NBC).  Nobody seems to really expect much of a City-zen rebound, and that includes your humble scribe.  I really want to see one, otherwise it will just be another half-hearted charge from the Gooners that falls well short (no ofence, Lowratio).

Sunday has a really great USA doubleheader, Chelski/Palace followed by Men Untied/Gooners.  We plead for, nay DEMAND a return from Gov. Rhodes for this occasion.  On to glory!

Monday night is Very Disappointing (because incapable of learning from past mistakes) Everton away to Leeds (3:00, USA/NBC?).  I mean, Jesus Fuck.  Jack Grealish??  Fuck off with that shit already.  You never, ever want someone in the team who feels like he’s doing you a favour.

Queries:

  1. Have Arsenal sorted their attack?  Did they do so at the expense of team balance?
  2. Will Eddie Howe’s head completely fall off at the final results of the Barcodes’ window?
  3. How would Chelski’s wage bill stack up, in terms of GDP if it were an Afrikan nation-state?
  4. Will one of the newbies finally break their duck and earn a 2nd season in the top flight?
  5. Is Jordan Pickford indeed a cat?
5 4 votes
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scotchnaut

Foster Dog Update:

-his eye surgery was a success.

-Bear killed a skunk and would not release it from its mouth for 20 minutes. (this was at 10pm last Monday)

-He wants to belong to the pack that is Molly and Ruby so he now barks madly at the car that runs through our property to our neighbors house.

-He is deathly afraid of the ice cube tray just like Ruby and Molly.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING IN THIS MATTER

11
Mr. Ayo

Oh thank god. They pulled that new Mets pitcher in the 6th.

And, as I foretold, the Mariners are sitting on nil runs.

Now we have a chance.

Last edited 8 months ago by Mr. Ayo
1
Mr. Ayo

And they’re still being shutout. God dammit.

0
BeefReeferLives

Is it already time for the Mariners usual late season collapse?

2
Gumbygirl

They called the attack “sudden and unprovoked.” Go fuck yourself in hell, you piece of shit. Douchebag got exactly what he deserved.

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Mr. Ayo

lol at “unprovoked”. It was definitely provoked.

7
scotchnaut

“Unwounded” African water buffaloes are the worst1 Such a temper, if you ask me.

4
SonOfSpam

If you’re a “big game hunter” and it’s not like 1825 or what have you then fuck right off. Also, fuck right off even if it is 1825. Big game animals are incredible and rare and of much more value than a dickhead who would hunt them.

6
BeefReeferLives

I imagine his last moments on this world were filled with terror & pain, kind of like the last moments of the animals he needlessly killed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-SSa-D1i-M

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope he survived long enough to piss himself in pain and terror before the end came.

4
BeefReeferLives

as his family was watching, yes. Hopefully the manly hunter befouled himself and screamed like a little girl.

1
scotchnaut

“They should be careful, they could get run over by a boat!”

-Wifey, watching the end of Jaws, probably

3
SonOfSpam

I read this as Jews and wondered what was happening in Canada.

3
scotchnaut

How often do you Google “End of Jews”, on a scale of Hannah Arendt to Stephen Miller?

2
SonOfSpam

I support ending Stephen Miller’s influence or intake of oxygen, whatevs.

1
Brick Meathook

https://ibb.co/XrYk71h7

10
Doktor Zymm

Scary stuff!

1
Gumbygirl

Positively mental, I must say!

1000007617
3
ArmedandHammered

Cool, been watching old movies that Eugene Palette in them. Namely the Philo Vance series.

1
ArmedandHammered

That have Eugene- that new strain named Watermelon Mojito is tasty in multiple ways. Shaka brah.

0
scotchnaut

/wifey headed off to her mother’s birthday party

Me: [knowing the answer] “Do I have to go?”

Wifey: “You weren’t invited, so, no.”

/the last time I went to her birthday party she drunkenly insisted that she would be moving into our house.* (over and over again) Eventually expletives were involved on my part in front of several family members and that matter was put to rest and it was hella awkward for everyone.

*her plan was to sell her house, move into ours, occupy the main bedroom, not pay any rent or utilities/food (you guys are doing great-why should I help out, I’m retired) She’s the worst User I’ve ever come across and happens to be my MIL.

8
Doktor Zymm

Escalating to a scene was a good investment both in preventing her from moving in and avoiding future parties! Well done!

7
Mr. Ayo

This is a great reminder to cut back on my pornhub usage. I thought that last paragraph was going somewhere completely different.

3
scotchnaut

If you’re into high-pitched screeching (is there any other kind?) being gaslighted and tits below the waistline, I could set you up.

3
SonOfSpam

Rule 34

1
Gumbygirl

.

1000007619
2
scotchnaut

All respect to you, but I can never see you as a teacher trying to corral anyone into settling down or being quiet or whatever on an on-going basis.

0
Mr. Ayo

stopicanonlygetsoerect.gif

0
BC Dick

Ah piss. It’s Chris Walby. And that’s who litre should be wearing in Saskatchewan at a CFL game. Not some down under wide beater jersey.
If the boy strays to the watermelon heads it’s his own damn fault.

1
Mr. Ayo

Mariners are facing a just called up guy? Shutout incoming. Congrats Mets on this excellent gambit.

1
Mr. Ayo

Oh for fucks sake.

https://twitter.com/DJMets33/status/1956822218567983352

1
litre_cola

I am next to the end zone bar. Pilsner country. Everyone is loser wasted, as expected.

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10
BC Dick

Looks like a nice pure crowd, just as Sydney Sweeney wants.
But really just drunk, polite, mostly nice, prairie trash.

7
Doktor Zymm

*Sydney Sweeney enthusiasts, she’s never made any political statements and I don’t think it’s her fault that white supremisists like her tits

6
Mr. Ayo

She’s from Idaho (WHICH DOES EXIST AND SHARES A BORDER WITH THE TOTALLY REAL WYOMING) so she doesn’t really need to say anything, it’s already known.

3
Doktor Zymm

She hardly looks like a potato at all!

4
BC Dick

Everyone likes her tits. It’s a ridiculous and hilarious thing that’s a thing at all. And probably says something about why the US dems could lose an election to Donald. Goddamn trump

If I believed in a god other than Sydney sweeney’s aryan tits I would pray for the USA. For all of our sakes.

4
Doktor Zymm

Although it was a Canadian publication that started the whole thing, which would be an excellent bit of trolling if the National Post wasn’t legit a far-right rag

2
BC Dick

Did they start it? I saw it on CBC. Which made sense. I bet the NP was just baiting them. It’s so stupid. I’d be all for defunding CBC news but as I told the politician at my door I will never vote to defund CBC radio. It is chock full of great stuff.

1
BC Dick

and I disagree with calling them a far right rag. Compared to what the US calls far right at least they are downright socialist.

1
Doktor Zymm

“If Chappelle had Sweeney’s buxom bust, we could have easily been having this same cultural conversation more than a year ago.”

https://nationalpost.com/opinion/amy-hamm-wokeness-is-no-match-for-sydney-sweeneys-undeniable-beauty

The US has been to the right of the rest of the free world since at least Reagan, but at least the author of this piece would fit right in with the scary Fox News ladies

1
BC Dick

Oh yeah they were stirring it up. That’s a comment piece though. The NP editorial is certainly more conservative but their reporting is just as critical of the right as the left.
The owner of the paper also own the Vancouver Sun which is quite a bit more left leaning but only in the opinion pieces. The reporting is solid.
I don’t know if people in the us know what that is anymore and it’s sad. I watch American news and it’s like TMZ mixed with Jerry Springer. They all have biases but no one else has Fox News.

1
BC Dick

But maybe I don’t know the right American media to watch. I should say that, I don’t mean to disparage. I only see the main channels and PBS.

0
Doktor Zymm

I don’t really know what’s on TV nowadays, but NPR mostly does a great job. Probably why MAGA is trying to get rid of em

0
BC Dick

Yeah it’s awful. That’s why we watch Brits solving fake crimes instead.

2
Doktor Zymm

I grew up watching the 7pm world news with my parents. Things were way better before the 24 hr news cycle. News can easily be interesting, but it’s not supposed to be entertainment.

3
scotchnaut

Aside from running to a union leader to get a quote on anything related to business news, the CBC is the best radio I’ve ever listened to for 50 years running.

2
BC Dick

They do that for sure. But one quirks and quarks and all is forgiven

1
scotchnaut

There’s also Because News, Q, Under The Influence, The Debaters, Ideas, (incredible-can’t rec enough) Laugh Out Loud, The Next Chapter, that other writers interview show-and that’s just off the top of my head.

1
BC Dick

Under the influence is another of my faves. And we all miss the vinyl cafe like a lost relative.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

/ names FF team “Sydney Sweeney’s Aryan Tits”

6
Brick Meathook

Now that’s a crowd that sits in their assigned seat.

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BC Dick

I gave this a plus but I gotta say this was a literal laugh comment for me. Well done mr hook

3
litre_cola

When in Rome.

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Gatoraids

speaking of a fun site to rate stadium food from around the world, though usually European based

https://scrandle.com/

3
BC Dick

The food is old style Pilsner. Full stop

2
scotchnaut

[Billy Crystal voice]

“Have fun stringing some Fascists upside-down in the town square!”

3
scotchnaut

My greatest NFL football fear? That the Pats will be good again. Can you imagine the amount of roaches old fans that will come crawling out of the woodwork?

4
Don T

My greatest NFL Fear is Cam Ward missing the rest of the season for a missed assignment by his OL. Before the bye. And choosing to watch it live alone at home instead of going to the beach or only watching Red Zone or something. But my infected laptop got stuck in the blue screen of death—this time, forever.

Last edited 8 months ago by Don T
4
scotchnaut

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine Ward overthrowing Calvin Ridley-forever.”

-Eric Blair, sports reporter

1
Gatoraids

putting alot of work into cooking this imitation Kenny Rodgers roaster chicken today. lacking the critical red glare element tho

4
yeah right

Busting my ass in the kitchen too.

Good news is I’m getting all of the labor done today so tomorrow will be a breeze.

Slowly getting transitioned to game day Sunday mode.

3
Gatoraids

same really sweating running low on the basting of the cooked marinade i have left with 1 and half hours to go. normally a chicken would have plenty of pan juice to glaze with, but guess a good sign that the chicken is retaining it juices.

2
yeah right

Made a middle Eastern marinade for an overnight chill. Making veggie stock for my weekly soup and also making a middle Eastern dip to accompany the chicken
Shit, tomorrow all I’ve got to do is make the chicken.

Easy street.

3
scotchnaut

ABC is featuring the German Supercup. Is that the feces equivalent of the Nathan’s Hotdog-Eating Contest?

5
WCS

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Gatoraids

2 girls, 1 World Cup

2
scotchnaut

One thing I like about Man City goal-scorers is that they acknowledge the guy that made the assist. I don’t see this very much on other teams and if I do it seems to be an afterthought.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a Barcelona/Pep thing

0
scotchnaut

As far as basketball is concerned, that’s a John Wooden UCLA thing that goes back to the Sixties. Yeesh, just playing pickup ball way back in the 80’s, it was bad form not to acknowledge a good pass that led to a bucket.

1
King Hippo

I don’t even feel like checking the NFL preseason schedule. Rather nap/stare into blank space. Hope this changes when September gets here.

1
scotchnaut

Help me out-who should I retain in Math Hard! league or should I let everyone go?

0
King Hippo

I’d Super Franchise Bijan again. Then Franchise T. Tracy and Tee Higgins. Pass on the 2nd Super F (I did same)

1
scotchnaut

“Individually these words make sense (except for Bijan, did he mean Bhutan? Are they playing some weird offshoot of Risk?) but as a sentence? Nope.”

-DFO’ers

1
Mr. Ayo

I’m actively repressing my memories of these terms.

1
scotchnaut

My first year, I could hear the laughter from the other league members from a thousand miles away.

1
Gatoraids

im getting the same nap/stare experience watching this dolphins game

0
Doktor Zymm

Turns out BritBox is like 90% detective shows. Taking a break from Father Brown and watching Death in Paradise

4
Gatoraids

Hope other 10% is Are You Being Served

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4
Doktor Zymm

Also AbFab, IT Crowd, old Dr Who

4
ballsofsteelandfury

IT IS!

1
scotchnaut

Don’t sleep on “Daft Happenings in Berwick-upon-Tweed”. It’s like “Murder She Wrote” if everyone always had a pint of Guinness in one hand.

3
scotchnaut

Now I have a mental image of a bicycle chase scene (I’ve decided this takes place in the 1920’s) and both the detective and bad guy are slurping their full pints as fast as possible so they don’t spill a drop. Also, a very slight incline almost ruins both of them because they’re so out of shape.

2
Doktor Zymm

I would totally watch that

2
scotchnaut

You. Me. Collab. Have your people call my people. Next Friday 7PM is good for me-I’ll be getting back from the gym. That’s Triceps/Rector Femoris Day, in case you were wondering.

Scotchnaut missed that meeting, having died of a combined cocaine/Muscle Milk/Traffic Cone insertion challenge. That competition has been suspended pending the inquiry

3
BC Dick

Detectorists. I think it’s on there. Absolutely love it.

2
BC Dick

And obviously Endeavour, Lewis, Vera for sure if you haven’t already.
I fucking love British detective shows.

1
Doktor Zymm

I watched a couple seasons of that back when it first came out! Will have to pick it up again

1
scotchnaut

If you like British-adjacent detective programs, check out Murdoch Mysteries. It’s a Canadian show that’s been on forever. You can catch it on the “Please Watch it, Eh? I’ll Buy You A Molson For Sure Next Time I’m In Flin Flon” streaming service.

/it’s an actual show

4
Doktor Zymm

Oh I’ve seen all of those

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Me too!

1
BC Dick

Silent witness. You’ve seen.
Shakespeare and Hathaway and McDonald and dodds I like too. But they’re cheesier. I mostly just watched Dodds for the hot lady detective.

1
BC Dick

That’s a good one too until they have that damn baby.
Also – the books it’s based on are terrific. Uite a bit different but in a good way. Maureen Jennings.

1
scotchnaut

Damn. No hat trick for Haaland-he’s been subbed.

0
King Hippo

Heavy is teh head who WARES teh crown smgdh

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

REIJNDER GAMES!!!

2
scotchnaut

Nice Rejoinder!

0
King Hippo

I tells ys, I am stuck between:

1) Pep is pissed, City will never lose again
2) Wolves are in major trouble this season
3) YES

0
Horatio Cornblower

Oh good, Man City looks awesome again.

1
scotchnaut

It’s early days but I feel the same way about Pep that I felt about Parcells way back when-“He’s going to figure it out eventually”.

/just as an aside, no one talks about Parcells being a super intelligent risk-taking strategist because he was always portrayed in the media as full of bluster and the ultimate “player’s coach”.

3
King Hippo

Big Tuna absolutely belongs up in the Pantheon of elite coachery,

2
Don T

/grudgingly agreeing wink

0
ballsofsteelandfury

AND NOW THE SEASON STARTS FOR THE REAL TEAMS!!!

Barcelona v Mallorca on ESPN2….

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Btw, did anyone ever watch Mallorca Files? That was a fun show…

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0
ballsofsteelandfury

Raphinha, baby!!

Fucking perfect pass from Yamal…

Last edited 8 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
0
Mr. Ayo

Think this kid might be good.

Damn.

1
scotchnaut

Real teams? Mallorca is a delicate whitefish best served with a raspberry gastrique. Everyone knows that.

0
Doktor Zymm

UFO cake is my favorite

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9
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lighthouse for me!

1
Gumbygirl

It is the girthiest!

2
Doktor Zymm

I can’t wait to see ‘typhoon cake’

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4
Don T

tl dr glans ruins ruse

1
scotchnaut

Haaland reminds me of a huge dog that knocks over furniture, steps on people’s feet and hits guys in the nutsack with a wag of its tail and doesn’t even notice.

I fractured that guys jaw with my shoulder while trying to head the ball? Was that in the 1st or 2nd half?

-Haaland, responding to a reporter’s question after the game

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What. The. Fuck. ???

https://www.reddit.com/r/MyBoyfriendIsAI/

1
Jimbo

I’m assuming this is for people who are dating Allen Iverson.

5
Doktor Zymm

Is this the ‘wireborn’ shit? So creepy, and they obviously missed that day in health.comment image

Last edited 8 months ago by Doktor Zymm
4
Gatoraids

saw some of them bemoaning that chatgpt5 toned down the romance mode and people were complaining their AI date was now cold. This was probably due to facebook ai guidelines that says was appropriate for the ai to have sensual conversations with children amongst other things

https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/meta-ai-chatbot-guidelines/

2
Unsurprised

Her was a warning. Oops.

0
King Hippo

oooooh, should I get Bernard Gilkey an AI boo? I can hardly imagine his dick still work, tho…

2
Jimbo

Watching the AKC Diving Dogs Challenge.
I’m impressed on how they get the dogs to dive into the pool, they probably show them a picture of Kristi Gnome.

3
Doktor Zymm

She’s not even a real gnome, she can’t do shoe repairs

4
Horatio Cornblower

Lowratio is seething at her even being mentioned in the same sentence as the noble gnome.

3
scotchnaut

Well let’s see what Man City looks like this year. Sudoku is his same speedy, explosive self on the wing so that’s good.

1
Jimbo

Where is this Man City you speak of? Lindsey Graham. SC

3
scotchnaut

Some people*

*actually, just this one guy. His job-funded by the provincial government-is to travel to communities that don’t have a grocery store and sell fresh fruit and veggies to the locals. Well, he didn’t place his order by the deadline and didn’t respond to texts or calls. This is a 120+ case order of various stuff. I’m flabbergasted. When he finally got back to me he said, “yeah, I’m playing in an out of town baseball tournament and kinda forgot.”

-What the fuck would you be doing next week with nothing to sell!? IT’S YOUR ACTUAL JOB.

-lucky for him I put something together, not knowing if he’d dropped dead, lost his job or ran out of funding.

-no ‘thank you’, just ‘yeah, you have a pretty good idea of what I need’.

-overall, he’s a very good guy but this lapse in judgement/memory just leaves me speechless. It would be like me forgetting to go into work for a few days. I just don’t get it.

-very proud that I didn’t resort to the ‘kids these days’ chestnut

8
Doktor Zymm

Is he in the Little League World Series? If so, it’s pretty impressive for a high school kid to be playing at such a high level and holding down a full time job. If not, gtfo with that irresponsible shit

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

resorting to kids is how our pedophile president dealt with his loss of status following the bankruptcy of his casinos ppl forget that

3
Doktor Zymm

When I make French toast I dump all the egg mixture in after soaking the bread and I don’t understand why this isn’t the standard recipe because it is delicious

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1
Doktor Zymm

Maybe it’s just for people with my plating style

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2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When I make it I usually keep putting bread in until it all gets absorbed. But what you’re doing here kind of reminds me of this, which *is* a technique I use:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uscX0FikuJc

1
Gumbygirl

That’s what I do. But my best French toast tip- make a peanut butter sandwich, then dunk it in the goo (egg, splash of milk, vanilla, and pumpkin pie spice). Good maple syrup. I had it this morning, magnifique!

2
scotchnaut

Holy Crap that sounds good and I don’t like French Toast all that much.

1
Gatoraids

eggs kinda get in the way of the powdered sugar and syrup delivery device we use french toast for

1
Doktor Zymm

Ah, see it works really well with the grand marnier whipped cream and blueberries

1
Gatoraids

cant argue with gran mar in the equation. Though i did leave out the critical butter component for form a powdered sugar slurry

0
Doktor Zymm

The egg goo also soaks up all the butter in the pan, so good

0
litre_cola

Get innnnnnn

1
King Hippo

controlled it with his bollocks, then slotted it home calmly, what a goal

0
Gumbygirl

Oh, you’re talking about the footy. I was still on the French toast thing. But yes, get innnnnn!

0
litre_cola

Won’t let this ruin my day, won’t let this ruin my day

0
King Hippo

Narrator – It DID ruin Litre’s day

3
King Hippo

or…..

0
litre_cola

I will take it!!! Now off to Roughriders v Tiger Cats

3
King Hippo

oh noes, methinks I heard Fronk’s scream all the way down here

1
King Hippo

great ball in from Pepe LePew made that’un

0
Fronkenshteen

well that’s a shot in the ol’ dick

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A question for non-California kommentists: are pineapples freely available in your local stores? How much do they cost? Around here they are plentiful and cost $3.50 or so.

1
Mr. Ayo

Sure, but they’re 5.50 up here in Seattle.

0
King Hippo

because SOCIALISM smgdh

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, we’re socialist too!

2
Doktor Zymm

They’ve always been available wherever I’ve lived. No idea on cost though because I’m not nearly ambitious enough to buy one uncut

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I take it you prefer the kosher ones?

4
Gumbygirl

I often wonder how much money I’d save if I wasn’t so fucking lazy.
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4
King Hippo

#MeToo. But also, I’d still much rather be lazy.

2
BeefReeferLives

Available? Yes. Freely available? No.

0
Fronkenshteen

“You know, West Ham dominating time of possession is like a mule with a spinning wheel!”
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3
King Hippo

My first half Black Cats review was “lively, but they’ll ship goals by the shed load.”

So naturally they scored and are on track for 1-nil win. Oy vey, Rum Ham…

0
BugEyedBoo

Fell down the labor history rabbit hole and brought back memories of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanawha_County_Textbook_War . I remember some folks being embarrassed by this. Barefoot hillbilly was still a stereotype back then, and this didn’t help it much. UMW District 17 got involved and had a wildcat strike over it. Bombs were set off, school busses were shot at. Those people were bugfuck nuts over it. Fast forward to 202x and covid, and everything old is new again.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Barefoot hillbilly was still a stereotype back then, and this didn’t help it much.

Yeah, setting off bombs at schools and firing shotguns at school buses will do that…

4
Gumbygirl

When I was in high school, we played some barefoot hillbillies in football, a coal patch town called Portage, somewhere around Johnstown. We beat them at their home. They shot out the windows of our band bus. Everybody had to lie on the floor and the bus driver hauled ass out of there.

1
ArmedandHammered

Reminds me of growing up in the mountains.

0
Doktor Zymm

According to my highly inaccurate watch, for the first time in 3 years I achieved OPTIMAL SLEEP. I was dreaming about buying weird flavors of candy I haven’t had in years, like a strawberry Watchamacallit bar and now I want candy. THIS IS WHAT PEAK SLEEP PERFORMANCE FEELS LIKE

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had a dream I was swinging from a string from the top of a hill in the San Francisco area (not sure how I knew this) and the string kept stretching and stretching (on the order of hundreds of yards) so I was going lower and faster and it was kind of like a flying dream but not as much fun because I was concerned about what was going to happen when the string finally snapped because I was accumulating too much speed to land comfortably.

1
BugEyedBoo

Do I get dreams of naked women? No, I get shit like going to see The Monkees, and raccoons excavating my yard from the septic tank to the basement, with the cinder block walls getting dug clear through. Fuckin’ raccoons are taking over around here, even in my sleep.

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8
Horatio Cornblower

“Yeah, I really hate coons too.”

-Stephen Miller, talking about something else entirely

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t believe you would so flagrantly disrespect the memories of Bob McNair and Jerry Richardson by leaving them out of this joke.

2
Doktor Zymm

They have tiny little people hands, just like Lowratio!

5
ArmedandHammered

They are my next bet for evolution to sapience, once we off ourselves in WW3.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I’m here for the Fulham tilt.

Slightly hungover and with a lot to do before bailing at 2:00 pm for another bonfire/cookout, but here.

0
Jimbo

-I’m also here for the full ham. A. Reid.

5
BeefReeferLives

Andy wants “all the ham”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOyAlOWPuoY

0
litre_cola

Am in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Yep Ballsy another one of them 15 hour drives on deck.

3
Doktor Zymm

That’s such a Canadian place name. Is there a town in the US called Hopes and Prayers, Arkansas? Bootstraps, Missouri?

3
King Hippo

Bible Truth, Mississippi

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s impressive

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As promised, I have successfully prevented Hippo’s EPL viewing enjoyment from being distrupted by a hurricane!

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4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not sure I love the way it’s eyeing our corporate headquarters, though.

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1
King Hippo

gots to be careful with dat monkey’s paw, yo

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ll see what the 11 a.m. update says but it’s looking like this thing has gone from tropical storm to Cat 5 in a span of like 24 hours.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yup, officially a Category 5. Didn’t quite break the record for how quickly it got there.

Last edited 8 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
0
Jimbo

Did you use a black sharpie?

6
King Hippo

not only that, but he also failed to THANK US FOAR OUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes. I had a brown one but it got deported.

4
Doktor Zymm

Good thing they let you keep the black one once you explained that you own it and steal its labor

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s too much of a moral gray area. What I do instead is use the justice system to imprison them based on spurious charges and then exploit them for free labor.

2
scotchnaut

You guys aren’t really talking about Sharpies, are you?

4
Horatio Cornblower

Only 3/5 of the time.

5
2Pack

Let’s go Geordies

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2
King Hippo

Uncle Teddy would be quite proud of everyone’s online activity/engagement on this Lesser Opening Day.

1
2Pack

Stunned into paralysis by inactivity… Like all things… It will pass…

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