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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: A Brief 2025 Marble League Rolldown

Senor Weaselo

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HOLY SHIT THE KOBALTS! I mean seriously, holy fucking shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNDkKbSZIfA
What a final four events to close it out. And with it, a team that had only appeared at the first League—back when it was still the MarbleLympics and a cool Olympics-inspired first-time event; a team that had never successfully gone through qualification to make it back to the League—finally comes back and wins it all. In conclusion, sports is a land of contrasts.
 
In other sports contrasts or news:
 
-Xavier Gipson fumbled a kickoff, and with it, his job. He’s cut.
 
-Travis Kelce (or Mr. Swift, if you’re into making that connotation) takes full responsibility for the play that injured Xavier Worthy, who is out with a separated shoulder. (Good news: At least at the moment, they are not planning to put Worthy on IR.)
 
That’s probably the big stuff. Anything good on the telly? The answer: Baseball, and only regional. Or the Yankees on Prime. Where maybe they can give up 9 runs with two relievers not getting an out, disgusting a former player attending the game enough that he retires the next day as a member of another team. (Seriously, congrats to Anthony Rizzo, he deserves his flowers on Saturday.)
 
For legal reasons, I will not comment on anything that has just happened in Utah. For anecdotal reasons…
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-fraAN7in4
 
Hopefully any of the links embed—it doesn’t work nice on the modern editor so I have to go to the classic if I want to bombard you all with anything from the YouTubes. More fun stuff next week, but I gotta run to *checks calendar* somewhere in northern New Jersey.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Step aside, Michael Jordan. You no longer possess the honor having made the greatest shot in Utah’s history.

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Last edited 7 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
5
blaxabbath

Gonna be hard to explain to my kids that Karl Malone was The Mailman when it was really [Insert Name of American Hero I Hope to Never Know] who delivered.

2
rockingdog

Found a funny:
Apparently the NY Yankees had a moment of silence for Charlie Kirk before the baseball game ⚾️

They would end up losing the game 11-1

Lmao

3
rockingdog

Ope, looks like you posted about that already
My bad yall

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s okay. We all have days when we miss things.

Of course, it wasn’t one of those kinds of days for a certain person laying in a prone position about 200 meters away from a stage in Utah…

2
blaxabbath

United States Federal Investigatory Chiefs: We don’t have the Epstein Files. Or anything in finding the Fathead killer.

3
BeefReeferLives

Can a person OD on schadenfreude? asking for a friend…

7
clint greasewood

https://imgur.com/gallery/hahahahah-dGweoj4#hD1whOY

Last edited 7 months ago by clint greasewood
1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and TPUSA staff? How many thoughts and prayers does this sentient lump of silicone injections think I have?

0
Don T

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11
clint greasewood

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2
rockingdog

He said all this stuff.
He was a horrible person.

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5
Doktor Zymm

If anything that’s sanitized

3
Sharkbait

In other news I played my first hockey game in 4 months because of my ankle injury/travel. A 4-4 tie isn’t the worst result. Oddly enough the back and hips are more sore than the ankle is this evening.

6
Doktor Zymm

Sitting too much without stretching probably. Tight hamstrings especially will get the back. When I skate after a long break it’s always the outside of my shins from keeping my ankles tense

3
blaxabbath

Do you feel like you gave 110%?

2
Sharkbait

I think so. I didn’t really worry about it once we got going.

1
Don T

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SonOfSpam

The hat plays, bird is gonna get action.

6
Don T

Oh, if those worn seams could speak 😃

2
Doktor Zymm

Fly as fuck obvs

3
Gumbygirl

Stupid sexy birb!

1
WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvyZKPIHB1E

In this time of national angst and disfunction, we can unite around one thing: Fuck the Patriots.

3
Gatoraids

thought this was us scoring that one TD Indi blew us out

0
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

I went up to my MAGA-centered Legion post just to listen to their reactions. They were toasting a great martyred American.

I’m the Californian and presumed liberal (centrist really) and I’m also a known Trump hater but I’ve gone out to the gun range with these guys and I am a crack shot, usually the best.

I finally chimed in and said that I’ve never heard of this guy before now, but I’m damn impressed that he was hit from 200 yards with what was effectively a head shot.

“That was some good shooting,” I said.

They all shut up.

12
SonOfSpam

Some guy on one of the cable shows was less impressed, basically saying that with a decent rifle and scope it was a pretty easy shot.

No idea either way, but we (America) should probably have fewer guns among the idiot populace. (I know, commie pinko opinion)

2
Brick Meathook

Lee Harvey Oswald got a head shot at 300 yards with an old Italian bolt-action rifle. Where did he learn to shoot? The Marines!

7
Brick Meathook

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SonOfSpam

I read that in R. Lee Ermey’s voice.

2
Brick Meathook

At a moving target!

0
scotchnaut

“Old Italian meets Irish Catholic head on-you won’t guess which head explodes!”

-TMZ, November, 1963

Last edited 7 months ago by scotchnaut
3
Doktor Zymm

Don’t think we really have enough info to determine if it was a difficult shot or not (although I don’t know what all has been released). Either way, going for the headshot and shooting just once seem like kind of curious choices. Guessing the shooter legged it immediately and would have done the same if they had missed

0
Horatio Cornblower

I saw that. Guy on MSNBC. Was going on about how someone who knew what they were doing and had the right equipment could probably take someone out at 1,000 yards, (maybe feet), without too much trouble and everyone was looking at him like “motherfucker, read the room”

Last edited 7 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
0
blaxabbath

Army training, could hit 200m from prone easily (if I recall 300meter was furthest) after 3 weeks ever handling a gun. I mean, doing it with the cajones to be assassinating this chap in a hostile land is pretty respectable to any lover of target shooting enthusiast.

5
BugEyedBoo

ISTR 400m targets. I was a little nearsighted at the time, so hitting the 400m target with iron sights was pretty much a lucky shot for me. But yeah, I tell people that a few youtube videos to learn basic marksmanship skills (make your cheek weld consistent, squeeze the trigger don’t yank it, etc), a zeroed-in gun, and a couple hundred rounds of practice shots should get a person competent enough to hit the torso pretty much every time from 200m. Get a good red dot sight or a 4x scope and you won’t even have to worry about a proper sight picture.

2
blaxabbath

YouTube video?

Go down to the Utah gun club on a Saturday and show an interest.

2
Redshirt

CNN just made a good point, with all the cutbacks in the FBI and agents directed to assist ICE, with Domestic Terrorism at a high, there is a good chance that Trump’s actions led to this being missed by the FBI.

5
scotchnaut

I love The Broken Clock News Network!

1
blaxabbath

Low morale may have the rank n file asking, how is this really a priority for my community.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I heard Trump had him shot because Kirk criticized him for reneging on the Epstein files, which shows that Trump had sex with underage children.

I really did read this on the internet, where I go for all my well-sourced news.

4
Col. Duke LaCross

Dude was a shitbag. Doesn’t mean he should’ve been shot, but maybe if he’d have been a nicer dude it wouldn’t have happened. But the again, if he was a nicer dude, people wouldn’t have been shoveling cash into his pockets the last decade.

Rage-bait sells.

Like if he was just a regular jagoff like the rest of us, punching a clock and contributing something tangible and positive to society, he’d have had the exact same chance of being shot as the rest of us jagoffs that punch a clock and contribute something tangible and positive to society.

And it still would’ve been a lower chance of getting shot than a third-grader in math class.

10
jjfozz

I’m apolitical, but joking comments about a father being shot and leaving too kids behind is too much for me. I’m peacing out for awhile.

4
scotchnaut

(given her standards) His widow will likely hook up with another woman-hating douchebag fairly soon, if that gives you any solace in these difficult times.

6
SonOfSpam

Appreciate you Canadians finding the silver linings in this cloudy world.

3
scotchnaut

Just reading from The Handmaiden’s Playbook, is all.

5
blaxabbath

I may not like your opinion but civily respect your right to speak it and feel heard.

:cocks bourble-shot rifle and aims at Fozz

3
scotchnaut

Charlie Kirk died as he lived-never feeling anything.

7
WCS

Another thing he can talk to Ashlii Babbit about.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not sure either of them are able to vocalize things particularly well these days.

1
scotchnaut

Did anyone else IRL eat an entire bag of popcorn while reading and commenting on this thread? Just me?

4
litre_cola

I had a bag of cheezies.

2
Doktor Zymm

I was just thinking about cheezies earlier today

1
SonOfSpam

Mine are long gone, shared with Mrs. She’s a fan too.

2
WCS

Do what now?

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1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I have Popcorn most nights around 2130, so yes

2
blaxabbath

My wife made chocolate chip cookies.

0
Horatio Cornblower

THIS YANKEES BULLPEN I CALL IT CHARLIE KIRK’S NECK, BECAUSE IT’S LEAKING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!

4
Don T

Madre refers to these ladies, when she says to me “You like every woman”
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m actually a little worried about the safety of these women now.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As in, even more than I’m worried about the safety of ALL women under this administration.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But slightly less than I’m worried about the safety of girls during this administration.

3
scotchnaut

Good Witches Pull Off Incredible Double Play!: Cause the death of an hated misogynist and force Catherine Bell back into soft porn movies.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Speaking of witches has there been any kind of statement or words of condolence from Christine O’Donnell?

0
Gumbygirl

.

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1
Redshirt

If this is the reaction when an Far Right Influencer is killed, just imagine when Trump’s heart finally gives out.

1
scotchnaut

Trump’s heart

/I’ll be needing a citation of some sort, thank you

4
Redshirt

Trump’s cholesterol-filled, cardiac muscle?

3
litre_cola

His doctor, the dude who looks like he has been on tour with the Dead for 40 years. totally credible.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You know, the thing in his chest that starts beating faster when he sneaks into a changing room to peep on underage beauty pageant contestants while they are getting dressed?

2
Don T

Did a quick peek at the news. tl dr shooting eclipses school shooting

5
scotchnaut

This is a callback to my “just don’t look” comment, right?

1
blaxabbath

And Republicans blocking Epstein Documents releases.

1
BeefReeferLives

I would like to remind everybody about Charlie Kirk’s thoughts on empathy, and humbly request that you show his memory some respect by having absolutely no empathy for him whatsoever.

https://www.reddit.com/r/quotes/comments/1ndrtbs/i_cant_stand_the_word_empathy_actually_i_think/

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SonOfSpam

Way the fuck ahead of you!

2
Redshirt

I’m going to follow his brave example on empathy.

I have to be blunt, up to that South Park episode, I never even heard of this guy.

2
WCS

[ Removed by moderator ]

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blaxabbath

Eric Trump: “When does this senseless nonsense….stop?”

Moron.

3
blaxabbath

He’s plugging his book, Under Siege.

1
WCS

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Already read it a few times. It’s pretty good! However, it’s quite dated now, especially with the interwebz and cell phones.

We’re talking about the same thing, right?

Right?

1
SonOfSpam

No no, that’s Coonts, whereas Eric Trump is a cunt. Easy mistake.

5
Redshirt

Somehow has more fake boobs than the one about the boat.

Last edited 7 months ago by Redshirt
1
scotchnaut

When his X account is blocked?

2
blaxabbath

Blocked or he won’t admit he doesn’t know a password?

1
scotchnaut

It’s 1234, Jesus Christ.

0
scotchnaut

I got that wrong, there is no comma.

0
WCS

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Doktor Zymm

One of my passwords is “WhydoIhavetochangethisdamnpasswordyetagain??123”

0
scotchnaut

“I know.”

-Facebook

2
clint greasewood

Right Wing media and even CNN is trying to martyr this asshole as some kind of great patriot and a bastion of youth inspiration but can’t show any his videos or statements from him because its filled with hatred, sows division and calls for violence.

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blaxabbath

Oof.

Very good.

2
blaxabbath

Good point. All they can say it’s that he’s a husband and father.

2
Horatio Cornblower

*was

2
Horatio Cornblower

MSNBC was doing the same thing.

The media talking heads take it very personally when someone remotely like them has a bad thing happen to them. The rest of us, eh, not so much.

3
blaxabbath

The best part of this is going to be that the FBI had the right guy initially, then they let him go.

2
WCS

If it’s a Jan 6’er who was pardoned. then well played karma.

2
Horatio Cornblower

I don’t think I would ever stop laughing.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

45 years later…

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2
scotchnaut

I call it “Merrick Garland Syndrome”.

2
blaxabbath

Pretty sure that assassin was not attacking our whole country.

I kind of think it’s a funny joke.

And may everyday be another wonderful secret.

3
blaxabbath

Lol what?

Charlie Kirk is an influencer, not a judge or public servant.

8
SonOfSpam

Yeah but we’re lowering flags to half-staff because that reminds Trump of his own penile issues. Just kidding, he hasn’t seen his penis in decades. Probably not since he raped E Jean Carroll. Which reminds me, the president is an adjudicated rapist. In addition to being a pedophile.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In all seriousness that’s one of the reasons why I don’t think you’ve heard this leaky-as-Charlie-Kirk’s-neck White House gossiping about any affairs he’s having. I doubt he’s had an erection in more than ten years.

2
Gatoraids

that and we mentally eye bleach out things like Laura Loomer

2
blaxabbath

This is why Trump wants cops to beat suspects. Had the FBI been able to just beat the first two suspects to death, we could have put this story to bed by 10PM to return our attention to….

DONALD TRUMP IS HOLDING BACK THE EPSTEIN FILES / MAY EVERYDAY BE ANOTHER WONDERFUL SECRET.

6
litre_cola

Wonderful Secrets would be a great FF name.

3
WCS

Yeah it would.

0
Doktor Zymm

Gonna watch some cozier murders with Sister Boniface

2
SonOfSpam

I would call her “Sister BoniFACCHI” to her face just to get the sexy ruler slap.

1
blaxabbath

I’m a terrible person. I cannot get enough of right wing radio this afternoon.

Its like rolling a joint with an angry old dumb old friend.

8
scotchnaut

“I cannot get enough of right wing radio”

This is how it begins Blax. Just don’t look.

2
blaxabbath

GIRL ON FOXNEWS RADIO CALLED KIRK OUR GENERATION’S MLK.

1
SonOfSpam

Maga
Loser
Killed?

7
scotchnaut

I somehow missed the multiple times his house was firebombed by angry white people. I should do more research.

5
SonOfSpam

“Yes, that’s always the best thing, especially for medical issues”

-QAaron

2
Don T

Maybe she meant Harvey Milk

4
blaxabbath

Well the one thing Charlie Kirk’s hot, rich, available widow has going for her is there’s a host of suitors who’ll pick her up down at the bars in Scottsdale.

1
Unsurprised

And FTV girls if she’s so inclined.

0
Unsurprised

The fact that CK was married with children makes me want to die. Same as Miller, basically every Republican, basically everyone. I don’t know what this says about anyone but me that I … Fuck it.

1
Unsurprised

Here

Getting_into_character_for_Jimmy_Choo___s_Autumn_2025_campaign__JimmyChoo_5
2
Unsurprised

America’s Sweetheart

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2
WCS

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/46136651/rob-ryan-final-stop-usc-football-career-2025

How many of the Los Angeles congregation knew a Wolfman has been hanging around the Colosseum for a while now?

0
Unsurprised

Isn’t USC supposed to be good on defense?

0
SonOfSpam

How’s this…

Trump had Kirk fragged to remove attention from his Epstein stuff and try to gin up a left v right civil war instead? I guess let’s see if there’s a Biggie hit coming (in this example, Charlie Kirk was Tupac).

3
WCS

Kirk was the one who told his listeners to “trust the government” when Dan Bongino was having a panic attack on camera.

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1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If nothing else, this has got to be the sweatiest-looking administration in U.S. history.

4
blaxabbath

Now we’re gonna find out how competent they are!

3
SonOfSpam

OH OH I HAVE A GUESS

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RUSSIA: [launches some drones into Poland]

POLAND: [invokes Article 5]

U.S.A.: “We can’t fulfill our NATO obligations because there’s too much domestic unrest.”

(just sayin’)

3
Unsurprised

If it’s Russia, I will eat a cat.

1
WCS

You live in Ohio?

6
litre_cola

Oh I chuckled far too much at this.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, it’s too bad we can’t do context for the banner because this belongs up there.

Last edited 7 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
2
Doktor Zymm

It was article 4 tho

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, I know. I was just recklessly speculating as to how this could have been jointly orchestrated by Putin and Trump to advance their own personal goals.

1
Gatoraids

Was Little Face taking revenge for copyright violation

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1
Unsurprised

Maybe there’s something to this airport-drinking thing.

3
Don T

Master Card looves airport drinking

2
BeefReeferLives

“Totes! & if you’re a professional pissbaby, you can then blame your huge tab on the damn democrats!!!”
-D. Brooks

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/sep/22/airport-meal-david-brooks-new-york-times-newark

0
scotchnaut

“Snipers-Owning the Republicans since July 13, 2024!”

-Something I’d like to see on Gavin Newsome’s X account

1
Unsurprised

Team Nothing Ever Happens scores again.

0
Gatoraids

waiting to properly mourn his first podcast guest

0
blaxabbath

Has anyone else noticed that Charlie Kirk seemed to be acting like maybe he had something to reveal about the Epstein Files at that event?

Seems to make more sense that the CIA did this. Anything else is a ridiculous idea.

6
WCS

You’re just asking questions! You’re doing your own research!

4
blaxabbath

May I revise?

I’ve been doing my own research and has anyone else noticed that Charlie Kirk seemed to be acting like maybe he had something to reveal about the Epstein Files at this event today?

Seems to make a lot of sense that the CIA did this.

why can’t the FBI catch the guy? Inside job.

why wasn’t the area secure? Trump-state governor.

Why pick the question topic to be “transgender shooter” and then shoot him? It’s a core Trump wedge issue.

What’s the biggest crack in the GOP now? The Epstein Files.

What is Kirk known for? Doing his own research and speaking the truth.

First the DOJ coverup of the Epstein Files. Now the political assassination of a prominent young figure.

I think there’s a lot more to this when you just look at the facts.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apparently he was beefing with Nick Fuentes and the Groypers for some reason; I think it would be genuinely hilarious if the shooter turned out to be a 1/6 insurrectionist who was let out of prison on a pardon.

6
WCS

Backyard Brawl returns to Morganhole in three days, now featuring 1000% less Turning Points USA executives!

Last edited 7 months ago by WCS
2
scotchnaut

Somebody’s got a boner…

0
WCS

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Fronkenshteen

Is that Yankee Stadium thing real?!

0
WCS

Yankee Stadium…?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes.

0
scotchnaut

“The shooter is at large? We can fix that.”

-Ozempic

7
Doktor Zymm

“You don’t want to be going in to any fast food restaurants anyway”
– Luigi Mangione

7
scotchnaut

“I hate standing in line so much!”

–Leon Czolgosz

2
scotchnaut

“You want more ice in your drink? How about this?”

-Ramon Mercader

0
scotchnaut

I went too obscure off the hop. Shame on me.*

*probably wasn’t that funny

0
Doktor Zymm

“eh, good enough for government work”
– C. Guiteau

1
blaxabbath

Hahaha! Ted Cruz is on the news to discuss how the shooter is still at large.

And now Ted is just going into his speel.

If there was ever time to listen to rural Arizona talk radio, it is today.

5
Doktor Zymm

Makes the guy who tried to shoot Trump look like a rank amateur

4
blaxabbath

“Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation.”

-Ronald Regan, on 21st Century Media Assassins

2
Unsurprised

Considering the state of the nursing home where he worked, I only wish he chose slightly more accessib—

/yanked into a black van

0
BeefReeferLives

Ted should remember that Chaz Kirk had some advice for him and his fellow republicans who are now shitting themselves & screeching non-stop since that it was one of THEM murdered instead of democratic elected officials & their families or just a bunch of schoolchildren:

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8
WCS

Luckily for him, this wasn’t a mass shooting.

2
BeefReeferLives

Not so much lucky for Charlie, but deffo for his co-speakers & everybody else there.

0
blaxabbath

Ah! Ain’t got the guy! Lol

1
scotchnaut

/trying desperately to turn away from recent events

Who should I start at QB? Kyler or Baker?

1
Doktor Zymm

Against the Panthers? He’ll be Kylest

1
blaxabbath

Kyler doesn’t seem like a bad bet, I hate to say.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I agree.” – Shohei Ohtani

0
litre_cola

If it was a bad bet it would have been his agent.

1
blaxabbath

Charlie Kirk finally has a throat open enough to be a young person in Trump’s orbit.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very on brand for the Evil Empire to hold a moment of silence for Charlie Kirk but completely ignore the other victims of gun violence today.

https://imgur.com/NeDSdYg

4
scotchnaut

On its face this is insanecakes, right? Right? Further Right?

/at the very least, you guys know who to fight against if the shit hits the fan

3
Gatoraids

definitely shouldn’t have been displayed in center field

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[face shown at actual size]

4
Senor Weaselo

I wish I had been there.

To boo as loudly as possible.

6
BeefReeferLives

Indeed. I would have had a very hard time not screaming out “FUCK CHARLIE KIRK!!” as loud as I could until security threw me out.

4
Horatio Cornblower

How am I just seeing this now? Holy fuck.

Man, fuck this organization.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

People who are looking to cool down the temperature of things in the United States right now should look to Charlie Kirk; at the moment he’s setting a pretty good example of how it’s done.

4
scotchnaut

“That’s cold! (eventually)”

-Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit, standup comedian

Last edited 7 months ago by scotchnaut
4
ArmedandHammered

C’mon man, killing people you disagree with on certain topics. That is a bit much, I was not a fan of his, but even I would prefer he be alive for the irony of being shot. No lives should be terminated due to politics, that way does lead to dictators.

1
Doktor Zymm

Recognizing elements of humor or irony in a violent act isn’t the same as morally approving of that act.

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5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. This was a guy who thought it was pretty fucking funny when Paul Pelosi got attacked with a hammer; I’m just honoring his memory by laughing at things that he thought were humorous.

5
SonOfSpam

You’re right and I don’t approve of killing anyone.

But since it happened, I’ll find the funny/irony therein.

2
Gumbygirl

I will save my sympathy for the children who were murdered at school today, the ones whose lives Kirk said were the price we have to pay for our 2nd amendment rights. Fuck him, I hope it hurt.

5
litre_cola

THis lady gets it!

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