Hey.
Let me be the first (???) to say, “SHUT UP COLLINSWORTH!” uh, I mean, “Happy Thanksgiving!”
Happy Thanksgiving to all those DFOers in the Clubhouse that celebrate
Holiday Reminders: Have you taken your Turducken out of the freezer to thaw? Do you have enough liquor to get through the extended weekend? Can you see the games from your seat at the dinner table? Are you loading the shotgun with less than lethal rounds or is this the year you clean house with buckshot when the conversation at the dinner table inevitably turns to politics?
Twelve weeks in, two weeks until the FF playoffs start. Obligatory:
Let’s get to it, shall we?
Freezer Vodka League
Week 12 Match Ups
Week 12 Standings
Three teams sit atop the standings at 8-4; Original Recipe White Claws, Shiba is for the People! and The Drunky QB. Then it gets really crowded in the Jeff Fisher Zone. There are seven teams at 6-6 fighting for the remaining playoff berths; Sydney Sweeney’s Ar*an Tits, Stefon DIggs’ Pink Powder Club, D&D For Jocks, Dead Hobos, The Blair Witching Hour, Indelible Prickstains FC, and Orwellian Ungoodundaythink. That leaves the Relegation Zone, whose denizens this week are Pump Up The Spam, Rev’s Chosen Ones, Tush Pushy Galore (all at 5-7) and She’s got good Jeantys (3-9) still looking like a stone cold lead pipe lock for relegation.
Lowratio League
Week 12 Match Ups
Week 12 Standings
Still the gold standard in Lowratio League, AI Abuelas (9-3) has clinched a playoff berth while maintaining its first place position (with its attendant automatic promotion). Will anybody be able to stop the onrushing train that is AI Abuelas? Even after suffering losses this week, Raccoon With A Meth Pipe and Rod Rust never sleeps (both 8-4) hold the next two playoff spots. Filling out our playoff bracket this week, all at 7-5, we have 1 Day. 1 Wonderful Secret (riding a 4 game win streak), The Hunters of Renfrow, and Jimbo’s Sad Hombres. Next up, the Jeff Fisher Zone, whose membership this week includes Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses, Saquon this Penix and CeeDee’s Unsolicited Nix Pics (all at 6-6). Alone at 5-7 is Hot Meaty Milkshakes. That leaves four teams in Lowratio’s Paddock: Bondi Fetish Garden Noems, A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge, and Ambigious Aaron Rodgers (all at 4-8) with The Brick Experience in 14th postion with a 3-9 record.
“Oh the things I’ll show you” – Lowratio
Lowratio League Blow Out of the Weak
**Bonus** Lowratio League Playoff Forecast Graphic **Bonus**
If the playoffs started Week 13, here’s what they’d look like
Who earns promotion from Lowratio League to Freezer Vodka League? Who will be relegated and replaced in the senior league this year? Tune in to find out!
Until Next Time!
Only 6 teams make the yoffs? DAMMIT.
You set up the rules
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV3CYz34ziE
I didn’t in this league. Sir Lemonjello did. It is 8 in the TWBS.
I learned how to say bastard in Esperanto, it’s bastardo!
So is Esperanto Esperant in English?
Turns out my flight to Milan from Chicago is delayed by about 2 hours, too bad I didn’t bring the keys to my condo! Although sitting around the lounge drinking champagne isn’t too bad.
My flight to Chicago just landed and was also delayed so we’re arriving about 45 minutes late. I got a helpful text tellig me that I have plenty of time to make my connection to Milan, as the gate is a 10-minute walk and boarding doesn’t start for 5 hours. Whew!
Made it by that much!
It’s fucking weird not doing any cooking this year.
Well, that passed quickly enough. Now I’m happy again.
I’m going to Thanksgiving at my SIL’s. Both kids are home, yay! It’s the best kind of holiday, all I have to do is stuff my face and drink wine. I am bringing glazed carrots, but that’s all the cooking I have to do. They are heating the pool, so I can float after dinner like a manatee, until I sober up enough to drive home.
Sounds great! Get in the pool and shout “Manatee needs lettuce” to get served sobering weed
My retired federal agent SIL would frown on that, and she still has her service gun. You have to know your audience. But nobody on my side of the fam would blink an eye, they’d be tokin’ it up with me.
Watch out for powerboats
It’s always the orange veggies that get served with sugar
And remember – if you sink, too much to drink, if you float, drive the boat into the moat to deliver the goat!
This is what we come here for, the highbrow literary discussions!
I need some kind of rallying cry for my squad. “THE HUNT IS ON!” or something like that.
-AIbuela, we did it. Promotion wooo!
-Loud! Hey, I told you to pick up Gadsen in Week 2.
-I got him, later.
-Waited too long. You don’t pay attention. Are you wearing a sweater?
-I’m in the tropics Gran-E. Is your hip acting up?
-Post logo
And so the Fozz Thanksfucking Giving Adventure begins.
My wife is currently painting the kitchen. Why? She’s insane.
Three people, and the dog, have brushed up against fresh paint so far.
Bourbon bottle looking like a nice juicy escape right now.
Here’s an option:
That seems like a pretty good deal.
Painting the kitchen the day before kitchen is grounds for commitment.
Since birds don’t exist, does that mean poultry doesn’t exist?
Ground birds exist, not fly-fly birds. So if someone tries to serve you squab, you’ll know it’s really opossum.
Turkeys can fly, it’s incredibly awkward and I’ve only seen them do it over short distances though so maybe it doesn’t count. I would totally watch a turkey race a flamingo
Super duper obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg&pp=ygUwYXMgZ29kIGFzIG15IHdpdG5lc3MgaSB0aG91Z2h0IHR1cmtleXMgY291bGQgZmx5
Did somebody say “turkeys can fly”?
So you’re saying that the first inventors of the parachute were turkeys?
I thought they were Polish.
Pretty sure Da Vinci (Chicagoan for ‘the Vinci’) was Italian
We had a dozen in our yard the other day. The whole flock was absolutely baffled by the fence. Then, and I swear this is true, one by one they all realized that they had wings and they “flew” over the fence into the neighbor’s yard, (a staggering distance of 30′-40′ per flight), before landing and then being utterly baffled by the fence on the other side of their yard.
Despite the win, I’m mathematically eliminated from not being relegated, so Lowratio league here I come!
Wish I had hit on the strategy of prop betting my opponent’s players earlier in the season, oh well
At the airport right now and the SFO Polaris lounge is jam packed with Asian tech workers taking all their PTO and heading home for the rest of the year
I’m not taking a laptop and I forgot my Kindle, so other than my phone it’ll be like 20 years ago travel. Gonna go scope out the paper books in the airport shops
Not reading from a screen? #thoughtsandprayers
Luckily I have a window seat so I can get some natural light. Bought 4 books, each of which weigh more than a Kindle, and since they don’t do mass market paperbacks anymore they cost about the same as 10 Kindle books. I like paper books, but they are a massive downgrade for travel
Last time I got Natural Light on a plane it was on Spirit.
No buzz balls? (which, incidentally, is also something you can get at an intimate barber shop)
Plus I’ll probably get through 2 or 3 of the books today, so sometime this weekend I’ll have to try and find a shop selling books in English, either that or read on my phone which sucks since it’s small and LED instead of eInk. It shouldn’t be too difficult in Italy, Asia was always the most difficult. In Chinese department stores I could usually find a small shelf of classics, they were super expensive so I bought by thickness, I read War and Peace, Tess of the d’Ubervilles, and Crime and Punishment on that trip
I just can’t with the Russians, so I confess I did the Cliff’s notes for W& P and C&P. But I did read Tess in high school, without cheating.
War and Peace gets pretty good after the first 150 pages or so, but then it peters out again towards the end, and everything after page 800 was a bit of a slog
Going with you!
I woke up at 11:25 this morning. Guess I needed that sleep after getting blown off the map, (not in a good way either), in FF and finding out that the Fightin’ Horatios are losing Jim Mora to Colorado State.
Not surprised he’s leaving UConn, but Colorado State being the destination feels a little odd.
Well, there’s a thought that’s going to metastasize.
Jordon is the source. No competent NFL front office would hire Beli…
Oh god. Oh NO! NO!!
Every fan of incompetent NFL Teams, start praying to the deity/deities of your choice. You know the drill.
I can picture him in Las Vegas.
I mean, sure, it’s not as a coach – it’s him at a strip club grumbling at a pair of silicone-enhanced fake tits swinging in his face which belong to some 20 year-old high school dropout (and the shady payday and car title loan service who financed them) – but he is there.
Hey, I know one team that can’t hire him.
Because he’d bring another resignation napkin to the press conference.
If the turkey isn’t defrosted, it’s prob too late now
it’s also a good time to get your brine done, so it can cool before putting in the bird.
…or deep fry the turkey on an open field or next to the house of a neighbor you don’t like whose out of town.
It’s going to be an interesting week for @WCS.
it’s just domestic after domestic.
-me, looking for good beer in my mom’s fridge tomorrow
I think you could probably get it done in a water bath.
Do not use the Great Salt Lake.
https://gephardtdaily.com/local/officials-dont-brine-your-turkey-in-the-great-salt-lake/
Probably depends on the size of the turkey? Happily I will never have to know as I fall squarely in the category of people who do not cook turkeys
I did a 3-day brine on mine one time. It was weird and I’ll never do it again because the brining chamber didn’t fit in the fridge so I had to do it in the garage with ice packs and carefully monitor the temperature so it stayed safe.
Or maybe it was frozen when I started, I don’t remember. The important thing is that I’m never fucking doing it again.